hoaxedhoax

[hoaxedhoax]

are you real?

I'd like to believe that I am.

[hoaxedhoax]

FUCK KRAFT MAC

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck y

[hoaxedhoax]

suspicious to support gay rights... what are you, gay?

W- Do you- what do you want me to say to that? If you're sober and you let other people drink, are you an alcoholic? No. It- Not- Fuck. No comment.

[hoaxedhoax]

ngl feel like 😒 you should report a lot of these people

You- fuckin'- I report you all the time, daily, and nothing happens. I don't think it does anything unless it's a security threat. Otherwise I'd have less migraines.

[hoaxedhoax]

DO U KNOW HOW TO COOK

I feel like there are... different levels to being able to cook? As in- I can't really- Listen, I can follow directions just fine, and I wont set anything on fire, I just can't make my own shit. That would still probably-... Probably not? No. Uh. Can't cook, I guess? Would be nice if I could?

[hoaxedhoax]

bitch do u have any hobbies

First of all, that was rude. Fuck you too. Second of all, yes. I don't just sit around doing nothing when I'm not at work. Shocking, I know. Third of all: Shoes.

Which sounds... incredibly dull. Admittedly. It's technically collecting. It's still enjoyable for me, though. Not specifically designer or limited edition. Just interesting looking shoes.

For the record as well, I do wear all of them. Which... I think is also a controversial opinion for anyone even if they aren't a collector, but it- I don't like the idea of not using them. AND, sometimes shoes look better when they get dirty. Adds character or something, I don't know. Not that anyone here will ever actually see me wearing them. None of them are work shoes. I'm. Uh. Absolutely not the one to trust for clothes, though. Don't count on me.

[hoaxedhoax]

girlboss

Feel like this was meant for Laverna. Accepting it regardless. Uh. Assuming it's a compliment. Thanks.

[hoaxedhoax]

do you like kraft mac and cheese 🤨

YES? Yes, AND that's the only correct answer. You- I- I swear on my life that it's good. Anyone who thinks it's gross has no taste. At all. I'm dying on this hill. Fuck anyone who disagreed with me.

[hoaxedhoax]

do you support gay WRONGS

Uh. Also yes? Maybe? I think it depends on the extremity of the wrong being committed but. Yeah, most... likely?

[hoaxedhoax]

[ blinks at you repeatedly ]

-👁️

Can you. Not do that, please? Don't- Stop that. Do you need something??

[hoaxedhoax]

if you were in quackity's place, would you live the way he does?

Absolutely fucking not??? Nobody would? Is that even a question anyone has to think about? Fuck.

Really, it's- I have good reasons.

There's a lot of things that Quackity has that I don't, that I would die to have. I'm not listing all of them. But the... he can be or do whatever the hell he wants at this point. And that's- That is a great thing for him. I can be jealous, yeah, but I can admit that it's good for him. What I'm saying is that he get's to be a... real person. Even if the execution of it is questionable at times, he is a real person. More people should be grateful for that, I think.

Even ignoring that: his relationships? I don't really know... anything about anyone, really, but he could be nicer. So I would- I'd be nicer. Maybe. I know I act like a bastard right now, but I think I wouldn't be as oblivious as he is. Then, also- Can't say that I'd be willing to trust people if I was him, either. I'm hypocritical. I'm sure he has reasons that I don't know about. Everyone does.

Not that he doesn't know that he's well off. I just mean that I fuckin'- wish people cared more about their... ability to have an impact? I really don't know. I have a headache right now. 's the best wording I have.

[hoaxedhoax]

Human body fact of the day!

Did you know!!!! You have over 60 thousand miles of blood vessels in your body! Lots of blood. Lots of land to cover too, right? Interesting!

-🫁

I didn't. Very interesting to know, though. God, I'm going to know everything about how humans work soon, if you and Charlie keep doing this to me.

[hoaxedhoax]

Jsyk hoax i am literally in love with you. Ur my scrimblo in my heart k?

Uh. You- That is- You are very- That- There is... not much to be said to that. Fuck. Uh. Okay. Thanks. Don't say that to me. Please.

[hoaxedhoax]

do u support gay rights

Yes? I don't really care what anyone does. Yes. Do whatever you want. 's not my business to intrude.

[hoaxedhoax]

Hey hoax, how have you been doing lately? Has anything interesting happened?

-❄️ anon (rlly up to you to take it as anon or as character, just wanted to interact again ^^)

Um. Hi. Nice to see you again, maybe.

A lot of interesting things happen every day. But not. Like. Interesting interesting things recently. Normal. I'm saying it's been somewhat normal. Minus the. Occasional fight or two.

Do you want water again? I could probably- If it takes a while. Prefacing this as a compliment: you're one of the few people who are sane about waiting a few minutes. So. It's a... Fucking- reward?? Only if you want it. It's slow right now, anyway. Less people.

Haven't really seen you here, either. Which might be a good thing. Hope you're... doing well??

[hoaxedhoax]

hoax they thought i was french.

Is there. Something wrong with that??? Do you have something against french people? Do you hate french people? I'm betting that you hate french people.

[hoaxedhoax]

Heeellloooo?

Is this someone breaking in or is this someone I haven't met yet?

If A) please put your hands up and drop what you're holding.

if it's B) Hiya! I'm Sparky and i'm with the security department!

-🎇

FUCKING CHRIST. Do. Not announce your presence like that. Dear god. That's a- horrible method. For security purposes and introduction purposes.

You people in security are always so cheery. Take that however you want. And- AND, secondarily, I feel like it's- maybe don't jump out with that. No. Actually, don't listen to me. Do whatever.

Or- Don't do that to... people you don't know. That could have been a penalization if it was someone else. So don't- don't do that. For everyone's sakes because FFFFFFFUCK that is not a good way to introduce yourself. You said your name was Sparky. Look, I'm Hoax. I work here. You have an interesting name, but lead with that next time. See? That- Less of a spike to anyone's heartrate.