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pretty dirty pick up lines.

’ you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend. ’ ’ are you a drill sergeant? because you have my privates standing at attention. ’ ’ do you mix concrete for a living? because you’re making me hard. ’ ’ if you’re feeling down, i can feel you up. ’ ’ i’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight. ’ ’ i may not go down in history, but i’ll go down on you. ’ ’ are you from the ghetto? cause i’m about to ghetto hold of dat ass. ’ ’ you know what i like in a girl? my dick. ’ ’ are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction. ’ ’ i lost my virginity. can i have yours? ’ ’ hey, you wanna do a 68? you go down on me, and i’ll owe you one. ’ ’ you can call me cake, cause i’ll go straight to your ass. ’ ’ roses are red, violets are fine. if i be the 6, will you be the 9? ’ ’ i’m like a firefighter, i find ‘em hot and leave ‘em wet! ’ ’ i’m hung like a tic tac. wanna freshen your breath? ’ ’ you smell like trash. may i take you out? ’ ’ i wanna floss with your pubic hair. ’ ’ let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down. ’ ’ you’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you! ’ ’ are you spaghetti cause i want you to meat my balls. ’ ’ we should play strip poker. you can strip, and I’ll poke you. ’ ’ do you like adele? cause i can tell you wanna be rolling in the d. ’ ’ do you have a shovel? cause i’m diggin’ that ass! ’ ’ damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise. ’ ’ remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later! ’ ’ are you an elevator? cause i wanna go down on you. ’ ’ are you a shark? cause i’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow. ’ ’ do you work for papa johns? cause you’re a fine pizza ass. ’ ’ are you from china? cause i’m china get in your pants. ’ ’ why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight? ’ ’ baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited! ’ ’ i’m looking for treasure, can i look around your chest? ’ ’ if i flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? ’ ’ would you like a hotdog to go with those buns? ’ ’ this may seem corny, but you make me really horny. ’ ’ how about you make me the climax of your story? ’ ’ that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open? ’ ’ my name is skittles… wanna taste my rainbow? ’ ’ you remind me of a crop, because i wanna plow you. ’

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          Pokes head in here.

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Blog’s still on a tiny hiatus. be back soon!

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when you accidentally make an oc: omg no w aIT

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that C H I L D grew up to be a M  O  N  S  T  E  R

                                                                             (what a tragedy – !!)

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i try to pretend i’m not ship trash b ut

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"codename" *eyebrow wiggle*

            It (also) happened once in a dream.

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codename?

          It happened once, in a dream.

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Download the official Squadmoji App on Apple or Google Play

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Send me “Codename” and my muse will tell you if you’re:

Been There Done That, Currently Doing That, It Happened Once In A Dream, If I Had To Pick A Dude/Lady, or Eagle #2

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the wolf among us || starters

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Send “Treasure Chest Opened! You Acquired _____” Along with an Item My Muse would obtain by opening a secrete treasure chest, Make it ANY item you want and see My Muse’s reaction to obtaining said Item.

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“love at first sight? aha no you misheard i said love at first fight as in we punched each other until we got tired and decided to bang.”

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I'm just curious do you have any ships for Floyd? Because I find myself shipping him with so many people I love this sassy trash man

         Honestly same! He’s trash, and sass and angst and that’s a big part of a good ship right there! I only have one ship that I’ve ever delved very deep into ( its QuinnShot, spoilers. ) but I also wanna shove him at people like Barbara G, Ivy, and lots more!