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[holyvalley-blog]

this blog is RETIRED

[holyvalley-blog]

hey pals

i’m sorry for the spotty attendance lately and seeming overall absent here and on all my other blogs, i’ve been having a very long drawn out nervous breakdown that has been severely limiting. i’m doing my best to keep up with replies and such so bear with me if i take a while or seem more withdrawn; it’s not because i’ve lost interest or anything, it’s just my health is giving me issues!!

love u pals

[holyvalley-blog]

Prometheus rises, betraying nothing about how he may feel about her response, or lack thereof. He kisses her forehead again and slips from the room briefly, heading back to his own to get the dogs. Everything else, he supposes, can wait — but this may be able to help, even if it isn’t by much, and even if she refuses to let it make her feel better immediately.

When he opens the door, the pomeranian tries to bolt out, its little tongue hanging out of the side of its mouth and a little yap from its happy mouth. He picks it up before it has the chance to and steps inside his room, seeing Nirvana on the bed. He picks her up as well and carries the two of them to the other room, setting them down on the floor outside before opening the door so they can go in.

Nirvana is the first one in, despite the little pom’s attempt to run inside at the speed of light.

she could slap him . there are moments where she forgets why she loves him – moments where she thinks her unhappiness weighs out her will to stay with him . 

but then there’s a nagging reminder in the back of her skull . she could never be willing to stay with him . she needed him – his presence , the validation , the knowledge that even if no man would ever genuinely love her – she had him . the bitterness and anger in her heart shadows her eyes as she stares at him , finding herself struggling to decide whether to be pleased or enraged . 

he doesn’t tend to her like he used to . he pulls her hair and ignores her . he thinks her to be weak , thinks her tears to be pathetic . but he brought her dog to her . he brought her puppy to her . 

❛       … thank you .        ❜

awkward . mechanic . there’s no heart there – or maybe its just strangled in her throat . 

[holyvalley-blog]

Knowing people comes with the job description. Knowing people has always been natural, second nature. Even when he was a child, he found it easy to determine things about other people; he would observe them and make connections, find patterns. He knew her when he saw her — or the type of person she was, at least. As time went on, he really knew her, he found his way into her head and made a home there. 

But a man should always know his wife.

 ❛  She was, yes. But I retrieved ‘er for you. I thought y’ might miss each other. An’ I got you another little friend as well.  ❜

❛      what are you talking about .  ❜

if there was one thing she hated about him – it was the way he knew her . better than anyone else , better then even herself – no matter what sort of tantrum she threw , he could grab her jaw and meet her eyes . coldly list her reasoning , her fears , her insecurities and her shortcomings – before leaving her to shiver and sob . 

there’s a furrow in her brow as she lifts her dark eyes – damn him . fuck him . she hates him . she hates him for not letting her be miserable – for being darling and caring when she finds herself fed up with the fact that he has treated her more a daughter , an animal , than a wife . 

her dog . he didn’t bring her . how could he get her ? how could that be possible ?

❛       she’s at home . she’s with my dad .        ❜

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 ❛  Are you sure?  ❜

He thinks of the two dogs in his room, the excited little pomeranian puppy that has been leaping on and off his bed like a bean, and the older dog — one more familiar to her, he believes — that he had collected.

Ringed fingers drum against her shoulder before he draws his hand away. He looks down at his lap, then lets his eyes flicker toward the window. He can try a little more coaxing, but he supposes there's not much he can do if she's decided to be stubborn. If all else fails, it can keep waiting. He can handle things.

 ❛  Nirvana will be disappointed.  ❜

presents . gifts . trinkets . 

she finds herself childishly unwilling to brighten at the prospect , knowing that if she accepted these gifts that she would be expected to brighten , perk up . she wants to brood . she doesn’t want her brightness to be prompted by him , finding herself bleak and unable to even entertain the idea that a single fiber of prometheus genuinely cares for her . 

usually , it’s a fact of her existence . something she doesn’t tend to think about . but now she turns her head away as he kisses her , wiping at her swollen eyes . she gives no response for a few long moments , disliking him as much as she dislikes herself . fake . its all so fucking fake and empty . and she is , too . there’s nothing there . 

❛      i don’t want presents or someones . i don’t want anyone .      ❜

[holyvalley-blog]

He doesn’t like this distance. He knows that she can be a little more removed at times, but she’s closed off. She’s always been a bit more difficult than everyone else, but he thinks that this may be cause for alarm. Even so, he doesn’t show it, carefully carding his fingers through her hair and remaining silent for a time, watching her. 

A little kiss is pressed to her forehead.

 ❛  Okay, sweet’eart.  ❜

He wets his lips and pauses for a moment.

 ❛  I ‘ave someone who wants to see you. Two someones, actually. It may help, even if only a little.  ❜

if there was a single thing she had learned from her time with prometheus – it was that she couldn’t trust him . she caught the patronizing glints in his eyes – felt the way he viewed her , nearly identical to how he viewed the others . weak . small . pathetic . but it was one thing to come to him while put together – there wasn’t much shameful about that , she could almost pretend he felt they were equals . 

his words are candied and laced with cyanide . she doesn’t move , but her stomach coils with a violent need to cleanse itself . his girl . 

it’s not like it was . he was hardly anything sweet to her anymore – hardly like he was when he had been courting her . he felt more like a stern father – a wicked keeper . miranda closes her eyes . she keeps herself contained across the bed – homesickness and unhappiness can’t be cured by a few words reminiscent of when he pretended to love her as a wife . 

❛      i don’t want to talk about it .        ❜ 

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He would guess loneliness, homesickness, or both. That’s usually what plagues her. She loved — loves — her family, and the friends that she’d had. She has trouble befriending people here, though she’s good with the children; she seems to have made one friend so far, and that friend is a rather unfortunate one. Hezekiah is hardly trustworthy.

 ❛  Of course it’s something. It breaks my heart to know you’re up here alone like this.  ❜

Prometheus reaches a careful hand out to stroke through her hair, soft and calming. He will make himself whatever he needs to be for her, and in this moment she needs someone kind; someone who understands her gentleness and her weakness, the sadness that eats her up. It was one of his lures when he first met her and pulled her in. Understanding, sweet, seeing her for who she really was.

 ❛  Talk to me, luv. You’re my girl. I want t’help my girl.  ❜

there was nothing in the world that could ever shut off matters of her heart . emotions already volatile were only amplified by the very knowledge that she was painfully and desperately alone – not blind to his usual patronizing , if not insensitive tone whenever her eyes misted over and her bottom lip quivered , he was the last person she legitimately wanted to see . 

he must view her like an animal at these times . they aren’t equals . they aren’t cut from the same fabric – he’s satin , she’s ruined silk . 

miranda’s face is hidden out of humiliation – childish embarrassment . she hadn’t bathed , hadn’t groomed herself – she only hugs her knees to her breast . stares at linen curtains with tear-lined eyes . 

❛   it’s not anything .        ❜

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He ascends the stairs and knocks on her door lightly before letting himself in, sitting down at the edge of her bed and touching her shoulder — gently, warmly.

At first, he thought she may need space, she may need the opportunity to allow herself to cry, but it has been going on for a few hours now — it wouldn’t be right or proper to leave her all alone in there, unattended, while she wept. Her gifts are still in his room, unready to be presented until an appropriate time presents itself, and he has sent all the others away so that she may not have any extra humiliation to deal with.

There’s a small twinge of pity in his stomach. The poor thing; she won’t let go and forget like the rest of them, she won’t shut off her brain.

  ❛  Now, luv. What’s got your heart broken?  ❜

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She’s like a little doll who broke and tried to put herself together, filling in the cracks with pure gold so she’d still be desirable. In the end, she’s still chipped and cracked, it’s plain to see — the gold even highlights all the places she was broken. Insecurity bred vanity. Jealousy and anxiety gave way to candy-coated self-assurance. Feeling too much ended in her hollowing out her insides. Her loneliness made her wild for touch every time he was near.

Prometheus chuckles lightly, a melodic purr, and cards his fingers through her hair. Tilting her chin upward, he presses a kiss to her mouth.

 ❛  No, you don’t. Lyin’ is a sin too, luv.  ❜

she coos softly as she’s pulled against him , loving the sturdiness of his form against her own . she has missed him considerably , finding that she hasn’t been intimate with her husband as much as she had hoped . she purrs softly , tugs him down to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth .

there was no saving her because he had damned her himself . she arches into him , pressing the fullness of her hips against his own with a faint trill . the door was open . how fun .

❛      mm .. but i want badly to repent , daddy . ❜

[holyvalley-blog]

Of course he did. Alois always misses him.

 ❛  I’m sorry I’m not aroun’ as much as I’d like to be. Always thinkin’ about y’ — worryin’ about y’. Always.  ❜

He tastes the boy’s tongue and feels a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, though he denies it and instead invests everything into making the other feel loved. He presses against him, traces his fingertips down the column of the younger’s throat. He could be made of marble if he weren’t so warm, so human to the touch.

 ❛  But I always come find you when I can. When you’re lonesome.  ❜

LONELY ? ALO DOESN’T THINK HE’S EVER NOT BEEN LONELY . he’s just learnt how to survive being lonely . priscilla couldn’t do that too well – she had people at her disposal on the off chance that she felt as lonely as she knew she should be . but alo doesn’t know if he’s ever been burdened by his loneliness – or maybe he’s just so used to it that he doesn’t think much of it anymore . 

nonetheless , he feels prometheus’s touch – coos softly and gives a small sigh . his tongue hesitantly slips within the preacher’s mouth , shiver rolling down his spine . digits curl . alo mumbles in between kisses . 

❛     missed you – missed you like hell .        ❜

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  ❛  Don’t tell me you’ve been ‘aving impure thoughts durin’ service, luv.  ❜

He knows she has.

Prometheus follows behind her until they reach the hall; that’s when he takes over and guides her to his room, pulling her against him as soon as they’re inside. He doesn’t bother closing the door — they’re alone, and even if someone comes home, he’s sure they’ll be heard and left to themselves.

 ❛ Really. There’s no savin’ you, is there? You pretty, damned thing. ❜

❛       mm .. i can’t .. that’s not even fair .     ❜          can’t lie to him . she feels his digits twining into her thick hair and a slow shiver rolls down her spine – sometimes his touch was terrifying . sometimes it was annoying . sometimes it inspired lust to rivet down her spine – now was one of those times . she trembles and sucks playfully at his bottom lip , whining when he draws back . 

and she giggles , having been seen . lowering her dark eyes , she waits until they’re in the confines of their home to speak – still empty , most of the girls were still at the service . miranda’s eyes flicker with playfulness as she steps up the stairs , two steps ahead of him , allowing full hips to sway with each modicum of movement .

❛      anyway .. let’s say i wasn’t listening . which i was . i was probably thinking about , well . you . you always look so handsome up there . i love your clerical garb – cassock .        ❜

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 ❛  Tsk. Don’t go arguin’ with me, now.  ❜

He smiles as he’s kissed, tracing his fingertips down the back of the boy’s neck and parting his lips ever-so-slightly — an invitation, an allowance.

Gentle, sweet Alois. What would this timid animal become if Prometheus were to hurt him in some way? It’s only halfway tempting; his desire to keep his pet outweighs his curiosity. He’ll continue watching this wolf-deer eat out of the palm of his hand, shyly looking up at him for constant reassurance.

 ❛  Were you lonely without me?  ❜

DOESN’T KNOW IF OR WHEN HE’S EVER BEEN WRONG – though , he’s sure prometheus doesn’t plan on being wrong anytime soon . or if he does , he doesn’t plan on admitting it . which is fine enough for alo , who nearly whines beneath that soothing touch , the kiss pressed to his mouth . there’s a darkening flush on his rouged cheeks . he nuzzles at his jaw , giving a small shake of his head . 

❛       nuh-uh .       ❜         missed him something awful . alo presses a sudden kiss to his mouth , tasting the addictive warmth , tongue flicking hesitantly over his bottom lip .

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 ❛  You’ve been a precious thing lately; still, I know what y’ think about. You can’t lie t’me, kitten. ❜

Prometheus twines a lock of her hair about his finger, a subtle power play that could just as easily be taken as affection, but he smiles all the same when she pulls him downward and kisses his cheek. Dark eyes meet her own and he places a full kiss to her mouth.

One of the children titters, having seen it. Prometheus clicks his tongue at her and she scuttles off to play in the field with the others.

 ❛  … Come, luv. Let’s go be alone, hm? An' you can tell me all the things you were thinking about while not listenin' to me.  ❜

❛       nuh-uh . you just think i’m some filthy thing . i’m just as divine as anything else .      ❜        her god , her love . she has been lying to him , but there’s playfulness in her eyes – no harm , not much ! she beams as he kisses her , guides her out with his tender grasp . sometimes it wasn’t so tender . sometimes she mouthed off , gave snark – he would grab her chin and meet her eyes then , refusing to relinquish his gaze until she pouted in understanding . 

whatever . she giggles and tugs at his hand – pulling him down to press a saccharine kiss to his cheek . she nuzzles .       ❛      i’ve been behaving .  haven’t i ? no snark or anything like that . i’m totally good .        ❜

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 ❛  Good. Such a good boy, you are.  ❜

Prometheus smiles, a soft smile full of promise, as though he truly sees the boy in front of him and adores him for everything he is. He wraps his arms around Alois and places his hand on the back of his neck, tapered fingers drumming lightly against the skin as he returns the second kiss given to him.

  ❛  You do look lovely, Alois. Trus’ me on that. When ‘ave I ever been wrong, anyway?  ❜

PROUD ? HE DOESN’T KNOW – thinks it might , but more than anything else , he’s embarrassed of the mark . hitches in a sharp breath as his jaw is grasped . prometheus is the only one who touches him like this . dark eyes lift – peer towards the elder before he gives a little nod . 

sure , fine . he’ll listen . lightly nudge his nose along the man’s jaw – press another kiss to the corner of his mouth .      ❛      … okay .      ❜

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 ❛  I have plenty of faith in y’, luv, I just also ‘appen to know you.  ❜

She never listens to what he’s saying when he’s preaching; she’s thinking of thrashing between sheets while whimpering out unholy prayers. Depraved, pleasure-seeking child, mindless and wanting. She must have always been like that, dressing it up and hiding it with pretty words and a good education. No more of that, not now.

Most of the people here think they’re here for God when they’re truly here for him. That is at least one delusion that she doesn’t have, though she does her part and plays along.  

He kisses her mouth once more and takes her hands, guiding her out of the little church.

❛      what !!! no , i love the book of john !    ❜         a trill of giggles – doesn’t seem to care if the others hear , though , brightly beaming at the kiss as little fingers grip tightly at his garb . dark eyes lift . she gazes at her husband with clear adoration , arms slipping to hug him at the waist . 

she nuzzles at his neck . playfully nips at his jaw , wanting to simply tug him away and keep him from speaking to anyone else . just her . always her . 

❛        you have no faith in me . i hate that . now come and be with me .         ❜

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  ❛  Now, now, don’t look away. Look a’ me. Doesn’t it make y’ feel a little bit proud? Left a mark on me.  ❜

Sometimes the boy resembles a young buck more than a dog, gentle and shy, ready to bound away and hide if need be. Prometheus reaches a hand forward and takes Alo’s jaw, lifting it slightly and admiring his face. He smiles, brushing a hand through the other’s hair.

 ❛  Silly boy, bein’ ashamed.  ❜

HE REALLY DOESN’T WANT TO . or , he thinks he doesn’t – it’s difficult to tell when prometheus goads him on like that . it had taken some time for alo to grow accustomed to him , to the warmth and guidance he offered – but now he’s weak for it . draws back slowly to catch the red stain at the preacher’s mouth , and he’s immediately looking down with a deep flush . he chews into the inside of his cheek , swallows hard and lifts his gaze to meet the elder’s .

there’s a small nod .       ❛       i .. yea – i did .. it’s   ..    ❜       a brief touch to his mouth – the pad of his index finger runs along his bottom lip before quickly lowering .