honcygaze

[honcygaze]

what's on your mind currently?

“ warm pickles and a bottle of elderflower gin i have stashed under my bed. “ 

[honcygaze]

Kristine Froseth in Looking for Alaska (2019)

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Kristine Froseth photographed by Alex La Cruz for The Love Magazine (Feburary 2020)

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kartierkarter​:

               a few moments were taken to allow for her vision to return, or at least until she can somewhat clearly make out shapes again. karter wipes whatever excess of her drink from her arm, already muttering about the stickiness. ‘ yeah, raspberry white claw. ’ she answered, blinking a number of times and before she knows it, her vision had returned and she’s staring at a familiar face, but she can’t seem to make out if it’s someone that she had class with or who just happened to be a part of the same greek social circle. the compliment is nothing out of the ordinary, but karter is a bit taken aback by it still and she thanks the the poorly lit space for the light blush to settle on her cheeks, ‘ i-uh, thank you. ’

       “ white claw huh ? “ she grins widely , “ i would love one of those , did you bring a whole bunch? “ kaia lets her crystal blue hues float over the other girl , entranced by all the lights. “ you’re a sigma , right ? “ she tilts her head , aware she is asking so many questions - but in true kaia form , she doesn’t bother stopping. nodding her head slowly as the other accepts her compliment , she reaches down to take her hand and she lifts it up in the air. “ of course . now spin , show us your moves. “ she jokes , evident by the soft laughs leaving her lips as she slowly drops her hand. “ so when did you get here ? come sit over here with me !” she notes , already walking in the direction of the couch which had just emptied. 

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hqcaleb​:

his hazel eyes watched her closely as she brought the bottle to her lips, tipping it slowly and finally hydrating herself. his hands reached over to help her put the cap back on, quick to notice how she was struggling, but he was just a second too late as some water had already spilled over the two of them ( not that he minded ). he was more concerned with her state, recalling her blank stare and the lifeless look in her eyes when he had forced her to look at him just moments ago. caleb knew he had to get her home somehow but the task would prove to be a little more difficult than anticipated when she’s shifting in her seat to lay down and rest her head on his lap. “i’m good, kaia,” he kindly rejected with a shake of his head as one hand began to caress her hair slowly. “don’t you wanna take a nap in the comforts of your own bed?” his head dropped to look down at her. “y’know, where it’s nice… and soft… and warm…” his voice was calm and soothing, trying his best to distract her as his free hand pulled his phone out, calling them an uber with fumbling fingers. “hmm? what is it?” 

             she inhales shakily ,  curling her legs up toward her chest because they were starting to get cold. “ i think i took too many drugs. “ she murmurs quietly , her eyes closed but she is still awake , paying attention to him caressing her hair which was the only thing keeping her awake. a tiny smile plays on her lips as she nods her head at him , “ my bed is actually kinda crappy , the springs....” she raises her eyebrows, pressing pouted lips into a line. “ they get you riiiight in the back. “ she shakes her head when he hears her words , suddenly unsure about saying them , but only for a moment. “ i like you. “ she sighs the words out , opening crystal blue eyes up at him. “ but you don’t have to like me back , i promise. “ she breathes , taking her pinky finger and wrapping it around his own. “ pinky promise. “ she closes her eyes again , now mostly to stop the spinning and the strobes of the party, “ that nice warm bed ? can i go to it now..” 

[honcygaze]

greyscn​:

eyes  trailed  down  to  watch  as  she  pulled  the  cash  from  her  shirt  ,  chuckling  as  it  was  handed  over  to  him  .  “  can  i  trust  you  not  to  get  yourself  hurt  if  we  do  some  lines  ?  ”  he  teased  .  there  was  no  genuine  concern  for  the  other  .  if  anything  ,  it  would  be  more  entertaining  the  more  gone  she  was  by  the  end  of  the  night  .  “  come  on  ,  ”  grey  led  the  way  into  a  more  secluded  area  ,  pulling  her  body  close  to  his  own  as  he  grabbed  a  bag  from  his  jacket  ,  handing  her  the  drugs  she  had  just  paid  for  before  retrieving  another  small  bag  from  his  other  pocket  .  “  be  patient  .  let  me  get  some  lines  ready  ,  ”  he  turned  away  from  her  and  let  a  bit  of  the  white  powder  spill  from  the  bag  and  onto  the  counter  top  .  he  cut  the  lines  up  before  grabbing  one  of  the  bills  she  had  just  given  him  to  roll  into  a  small  cylinder  .  “  how  about  you  go  first  babe  ?  ”  he  suggested  ,  placing  a  hand  on  the  small  of  her  back  while  his  other  hand  held  out  the  rolled  twenty  out  to  her  .

    according to kaia , the worst thing about herself was that she wasn’t an idiot. she could tell when people wanted nothing to do with her , or when people wanted one thing from her and nothing else. the second thing she didn’t like about herself , was that she let it happen. “ i never get hurt. “ she murmurs , looking up at him through her lashes but she was mostly just intrigued by the guy. “ being patient. “ she sighs , leaning against the wall until she is summoned back to where he had been cutting the lines. “ oh- okay “ she smiles nervously for a moment before she is twirling her long and knotted hair and tossing it over her shoulder to not let it get in the way. then she goes one , two , and then three lines after the other , squeezing her eyes closed tight and leaning back quickly, “ god , oh wow. “ she laughs a little , brushing her nose. “ that is strong stuff. “ 

[honcygaze]

hqcaleb​:

“holy sh—” he has to force himself to hold back his words so he won’t scare her. kaia looked gone and it was apparent no amount of shots he’d taken tonight would place his own intoxication on the same level as hers. his eyes frantically scanned their surrounding for water, but he was quick to come to the realization that it would probably be best he got her a new bottle. ( who knew what kind of poison the water would be spiked with ) “you stay right here, okay? i’m gonna go get you some water,” he grabbed her face with both hands, forcing her to look at him. “stay here,” he reiterated to ensure she obeyed. “i’ll be back.” and with that, he was off to get her some water, returning in no time at all with an unopened bottle in his hand. “here,” he sat down next to her and twisted the cap open before handing the bottle of water to her. he felt almost dumb for his overly enthusiastic greeting, the excitement from earlier long gone. “do you wanna get outta here? get some fresh air?” 

     her expression paints a perplexed one as he speaks and she tries to work out what is going on , she felt like she was on top of the world and out of this world at the same time and it was beginning to make her dizzy. she nods , blue fishnet stocking covered knees knocking together as she tries to remember that her legs are there. “ mhmm ! “ she murmurs until her face is taken by his hands and a small smile touches her lips , her eyes blank and almost lifeless but she doesn’t know it. “ oohh okay water is good , hydration . “ she speaks to herself , staring off into the distance until he returned. “ you’re amazing ... too good to me . “ she mumbles , sipping on the water slowly so she didn’t make herself sick and then fumbling to put the cap back on, setting it down the best she could ( even though it had probably spilled over ). “ i kinda just wanna have a sleep , you wanna nap with me?” she asks , looking up at him and then slowly laying down where they were sitting, moving her head to rest on his lap. “ yeah this is a nice place to sleep. “ she grins , her eyes so droopy that she almost looks asleep already. “ caleb , guess what? “ 

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crawfcrds​:

she falls silent when she feels numerous sets of eyes closing in on them, wanting to simultaneously shut kaia up and yell at the crowd for being nosy. “i am happy, yes.” she says somewhat absentmindedly, her voice fading when the other begins to list all the various things she’s consumed since the party began. to hear coke and shots in the same sentence is overwhelming enough, but sav gets increasingly concerned when she struggles to recall what else she’s taken. she’s about to decline the offer, but her eyes narrow upon hearing that her friend happens to know a guy. “hey, who are you talking about? i guess i can go buy a few things off him,” she lies, both about her intention to score and about not knowing who the girl was discussing.

      kaia’s grin turns to less of one as she notes her roommate’s seeming disapproval or concern , she couldn’t quite make out which one it was because her vision was spinning around the world right now. “ happy... good. happy is good. “ she notes , chapped lips stretching as she smiles some more. “ god it’s so dark in here , right ?” she closes her eyes, tilting her head so she can lean on her elbow which is nestled amongst a pile of cups on the countertop. she perks up a little as sav seems to take up the offer , and she takes hold of her hand in her own cold one, squeezing it softly. “ oh ! i can show you if you want. “ she goes to get up , but her head spins and she feels ill so she stays . “ his name is grey and he is kinda scary looking but i promise he is super nice. he should be just ... out there “ 

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crawfcrds​:

sav has to set her drink down when she feels the flailing arms of her roommate, genuinely amazed at how lively she can make even a kitchen feel. but her envy is cut short when she sees the girl struggle to hold herself together, and she hurries to grasp onto the other’s arm before a nasty spill occurs. “geez, kaia. you need to watch out!” she laughs nervously before being temporarily distracted by her question. “luca? he’s… somewhere,” she trails, not really sure of his whereabouts. but at the moment, her main priority is making sure that her friend is alright, coherent enough to at least make it out of the party in one piece. “how much have you had to drink? or, what have you been taking?”

       kaia focuses on the hand of her friend which is on her arm and she tilts her head to the side , trying to keep her vision locked onto one thing. “ god i’m such a clutz. “ she slurs a little , but her face shows no sign of concern as she grins widely. “ luca !!! that’s the name. “ she calls out , loud enough for the people around them to look their direction. “ are you happy ? “ she asks, briefly ignoring the question but not intentionally. “ like ... i had a couple of shots just before with ... whats her name ? anyway... and some coke , ex.. uh. “ she frowns , forgetting the amounts she’d consumed. “ you want some ? i know this guy who can get you some !” 

[honcygaze]

kartierkarter​:

𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 @honcygaze​

            the obligatory photo ops filled karter’s peripheral with black bespeckled spots from the camera flashes. blinking a couple times and resisting the urge to rub her eyes out of fear of ruining her makeup, the girl clumsily moves through the crowd with drink in hand, murmuring a few incoherent slurs, until another camera flash goes off damn near blinding her causing her to walk into someone else with a bit too much force. ‘ for fuck’s sakes. ’ she groans before realizing that whoever had blinded her had evaded any potential confrontation. ‘ i’m sorry about that. did i get my drink on you ?? ’ 

    kaia had spent the last couple of minutes snapping photos of her and her friends on her film camera , “ last one ! “ she yells out , taking another which is probably not gonna be a great photo , because she is knocked into by someone a second later and almost trips over her laces before finding her footing. she shakes her head, smiling slightly as she swipes her finger over her own arm and the liquid spilled, bringing it to her lips to lick it off. “ mmm, raspberry ? “ she beams , pupils wide and crazy looking. “ oh my , “ she tilts her head , “ you look so lovely. “ 

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@crawfcrds​ event starter 

“ dance savvy ! “ kaia twirls around , only barely missing the other party-goers as she swings her arms out and reaches for her roommate. she was drunk and high and pretty much the only person that was dancing in this part of the house. the kitchen. “ c’mon ! “ she grins, twirling once more until she falls toward the island in the middle and decides to stop, holding herself against it. “ where’s the boy ? “

[honcygaze]

@greyscn​ event starter 

she had worn her nicest red dress tonight , and bee-lined through the crowd for the tattooed dealer who had exactly what she wanted. the grin on her face was for many reasons , but he seemed to brighten her day and he didn’t even realise it. “ got somethin’ for me ?” she slips slender fingertips into her bra and pulls out a couple of notes , haphazardly handing them over to him as she tilts back on the heels of her dr martens. “ this party is gonna get wild, huh ? we should do a line, hm ? “ 

[honcygaze]

hqcaleb​:

( closed starter for @honcygaze​​ ) 

“hey, stranger,” his tone was playful, a broad grin on his face as he slumped down onto the couch and occupied the empty spot next to her. at any party or event, caleb made it his job to check up on her and make sure she was actually having a good time. didn’t want her to be reckless with the drugs and alcohol that were so easily available. he’d grown somewhat protective of the girl and often times, felt like it was his responsibility to keep her safe. it wasn’t until he got a closer look at her face that he realized his cheerfulness wasn’t being reciprocated, which was unusual for her. the smile faded and was quickly replaced by a look of concern, his voice expressing genuine worry as he asked, “you okay? what’s wrong?” 

      tonight , you name it , and she had probably taken it. her mind was whizzing with colours and sounds she couldn’t describe and while the first half of it all was fun , she had to sit down now because it was making her head thump and her legs wouldn’t work the way she wanted them to work. usually grinning like a mad hatter , she was unusually quiet , trying to navigate her fuelled up mind to get herself some place safe. she’d convinced sav that she was alright and it was probably the fight that broke out that distracted her roommate enough for her to slip away. she just needed some water - and there she was now on the couch , no water though. blue hues look to her side , feeling that someone had sat down beside her and she lifts her hand up to his face , her finger gently brushing over his lips . “ you’re worried. “ she frowns , shaking her head in her mind - but it probably didn’t look that way. “ everything is spinning and she inhales deeply. “ when did you get.... here? “

[honcygaze]

greyscn​:

`  •  »  𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒏  𝒔𝒏𝒂𝒑  𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓

𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚  :  i  heard  something  about  u  today 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚 :   just  wanted  2  know  if  it  was  tru  …   𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒚  :  also  i  got  some  more  shit  so  if  u  need  some  ,  let  me  know

𝔨𝔞𝔦𝔞 : what did you hear my love  𝔨𝔞𝔦𝔞 : was it good? 𝔨𝔞𝔦𝔞 : oooooh yes please !! when can i get 

[honcygaze]

what's an unpopular opinion you have about the people at beaumont?

“ i haven’t got many unpopular opinions at the moment , but i have realised that there seems to be a lot of maybe like.. fake people around here ? just what i’ve like.... heard along the grapevine. people love to talk when they think nobody is listening “