honeyed-poet

[honeyed-poet]

Imagining a giantess putting me on this plate before eating me

[honeyed-poet]

People sometimes ask about my former relationships… I am a romantic after all. But alas, most of those ended in the expected way.

Take my last girlfriend, Samantha by name. Blonde hair and a great flair for fashion.

I took her on a trip to the local village, and we stopped by a tavern. Not knowing that it was one of those pred fronts… one way glass in the dining room where preds can look at tiny prey like lobsters in a tank and pick them out…

She was chosen and plucked away from our table right in front of me and taken to a giant couple’s… hand-fed to a redhead giantess as an appetizer by her date…

I would have been taken too, had I not negotiated a deal to cook at least a few appetizers for the whole tavern. I slipped into the kitchen and whipped up some rather exceptional honey biscuits… they tipped me for my trouble and let me go… I had hoped to finish in time to save Samantha… but I soon passed by a certain table where a red headed giantess was patting her full, gurgling, slightly sloshy belly… my sweet Samantha no doubt buried in a pile of fine, expertly crafted dishes and ale…

It’s one of the great tragedies of being prey… sooner or later, so many people you know end up getting eaten. But as long as you carry them in your heart, they’re never really gone.

It’s part of why I keep a journal! So that even after my time comes, people are able to read about all I was before… whoever is eventually going to eat me gets their jaws around me…

…Unrelated, but I’d best get back to interviewing @thatallconsumingbeelady… so many wonderful quirks of her personality I’ve yet to learn!

[honeyed-poet]

Recently met a cute giant bee girl in the forest! Can’t wait to do an entry in my journal about her! Recently invited her back to my cottage for some tea and a good conversation… hopefully all goes well and I come back with new knowledge to share!

@thatallconsumingbeelady

[honeyed-poet]

"ouggghhhh everything is so stressful"

Have you ever considered just becoming permanent fat on me

[honeyed-poet]

looking back on games i played earlier in life and remembering how i would deliberately trigger cutscenes or attacks where a character gets eaten- (*￣∇￣*)

[honeyed-poet]

One of the strangest things that’s happened to me over the course of my adventures…. And it was quite unexpected… is when I started encountering preds who had heard of my writing, read some of my prey survival tips, and decided that they would rather have a conversation with me than eat me!

What does it mean when predators start seeing you more as friend than food? I might actually live to see old age after all… what on earth am I going to do with all that time?

I thought I’d be wobbling away as ex-poet pudge on some hungry guy or girl by my mid-thirties at the latest…

[honeyed-poet]

Pred Profiles: Dog Girls

I was originally planning on labelling this a prey survival tip, but upon further consideration, I don't think that label quite fits.

You see, dog girl preds, while without a doubt dangerous to those unwilling or who don't communicate their wants readily, are among the most affectionate and loving preds you'll ever meet! And if you make friends with one, they'll be loyal for life, and if you cross someone who is close to such a blessed creature, expect to find yourself within their stomach before you can say "Down girl!"

Unlike their wild counterparts (wolf girls, kitsune, etc) most dog girls are loving creatures at heart. They have that domestic spirit within them, and are, first and foremost, all about creating loving connections. With friends, family, lovers, and yes, even a prey they desire nothing more than to devour, gulp, and digest away like human kibble.

Take the case of Emma, a rather large and beautiful doggo I met recently, and a wonderful example of the mix of domesticated empathy and kindness, as well as the casual hunger that this sort of pred possesses. She comes on strong, embracing new friends and attractive, appetizing people with an enchanting level of maternal care. She'll tend to your every need, try to sap you of anxiety with long cuddles and loving languid licks, and enthusiastic verbal affirmation of how adorable and precious she finds you...

And then the licks begin, playful puppy dog licks at first... but if she REALLY likes you, you'll hear and feel her hot breath deepening, pinning you down beneath her as her tail wags without ceasing, and her belly begins to growl..

And for any prey bearing even the slightest inclination towards the willing side of things... you might just start thinking to yourself...

"Surely such a good girl deserves a treat... and if she likes me this much.. and is this soft and loving on the outside, how wonderful must that pudgy tummy of hers be on the inside?"

And if you offer her such a generous treat? Oh, she'll thank you repeatedly! Licking your face up and down like a lost pup who just had her master come home after a long journey... and who is ready to make sure you never leave again-

Her wide mouth opens before you, and oh, she takes her time working you inside, her tail wagging so fast that the motion can be felt even in her mouth.

Completely coated in doggy drool, her eager gulps pull you down, somewhat greedily, but never not lovingly.

And soon... you're trapped within a silken embrace, her belly squeezing around you. Spacious enough to contain you easily... until a belch erupts from above, and the stomach lining grips you warmly like a hug...

And then? A happy satiated doggirl licks her chops, pats and pampers the swell in her middle... and saunters off to her bed to sleep you off, already dreaming of her next special treat....

[honeyed-poet]

Also yes, for those of you who were wondering where I was… I have NOT been passed through anybody’s digestive tract…

… Yet

[honeyed-poet]

Prey Survival tip: Slimes!

Now, for many seasoned adventurers, pred and prey alike, the humble slime is often a being that is given little consideration. Omnivorous, slow-moving beings that they are…. But the thing you have to know about slimes, is that, yes, while they are generally not swift creatures that the average person can outrun on foot, they have other charms to lure you in.

They tend to take the shape of attractive young women with sultry and sweet voices, and can be incredibly persuasive. Experts of seduction, of playing upon your empathy to get you to feed yourself to them. They’ll try to get you to shake their hands or get you to come help them, but as soon as they’ve made physical contact with you, they’ll absorb you. Avoid entering into liquids when slimes are nearby, as they can join with them and melt you.

If one swallows you, unfortunately there’s very little you can do. Their bodies are thick and viscous, designed to keep you still and in place for easy digestion. Indeed, even escaping a giantess’s belly is easier than escaping a slime. No nerve endings to poke, and kicking and squirming is virtually impossible.

But in that situation, take heart knowing that many preds would give you a worse fate. Your nerve endings will be dulled by their slime, and digestion is relatively painless. Just a light tingle and tickle before you’re just floating bones inside them, and soon, just more slime as part of their mass.

-Data gathered during an encounter and conversation with Lilly the Slimegirl deep within The Forest of Dreams -

[honeyed-poet]

I’ve reached an interesting point in my journey through this world… one that I wouldn’t have predicted when I started sharing my writing and the tales of my adventures with various hungry preds throughout the world….

I always assumed that I’d slip up and get eaten by somebody eventually, and find a place of acceptance and respect for she who caught me as I settle into her belly… if I were especially lucky, perhaps she would publish my journal for the rest of the world to read, writing a foreword about her hunt that finally ended with the poet vanishing behind a pair of smiling lips…

And while I have had close calls and have learned many survival techniques, the place I find myself in now is… one of already being known and loved by many of the new preds I meet. And more often than not… they’re protective of me.

You see, preds need to eat, they need nutrients, and hey, I recognize that I’m chock full of them. I always assumed that even kind preds would want to see me end up nourishing and wobbling on them, but no… when I do find myself inside stomachs these days, it’s usually one belonging to a trusted friend who wants to keep me safe and warm in the winter cold, or else protect me from cruel preds. Sure, I fully expect to find myself in the middle of someone’s table as a pie or a makeshift Turkey this thanksgiving, but all in good fun! Not with my life at stake.

It does hamper my studies some time have fewer encounters with hungry preds earnestly seeking to gobble me up like a honey-glazed ham, but I recognize this for the blessing it is, and am so grateful for the many pred friends I’ve made along the way!

My current prognosis for my future is that I may well reach old age! Or else end up digested by accident, or by someone who loves me so much they just can’t let me go…

Aye… in the world of prey, I could not be more blessed. I think my parents would be proud.

[honeyed-poet]

Reblog if it's okay to invade your ask box.

Always

[honeyed-poet]

Just have it in moderation! I’m sure nothing bad will happen.

(And I agree. Fuzzy, friendly little fellows. The absolute best. And despite their reputation, they pretty much never ever sting people unless they or their queen are being directly threatened… and even then, they have been known to trust their owners enough to handle the queen without any worry.

…Think I’ll go make myself a peanut butter and honey sandwich now)

... i really want to eat honey now. I'm so sad i deadass haven't eaten it in like years

[honeyed-poet]

Honey pairs well with so many things! Peanut butter, tea, various sandwiches, is good for gut health, and beekeeping has some of the highest life expectancy out of any job!

Not to mention, bees are just friendly creatures in general, and grow to trust people they’re around often. Making plenty of extra honey just for their beloved owners.

Yup! Honey is a wholesome, delicious, and useful thing from every angle.

… Just remember, you are what you eat. And as prey, too much of a sweet thing can attract much in the way of predatory attention…

... i really want to eat honey now. I'm so sad i deadass haven't eaten it in like years

[honeyed-poet]

This has in fact happened to me many times… one of the benefits of being a beekeeper and poet with a constant honey aura surrounding you is that, though many predators DO find me appetizing… a lot of them are more into heavier, richer meats, and not something so sweet.

Preds have to watch their diets like anyone else, after all!

this will never happen bc i am too sexy and beautiful but it'd be really funny if a pred licked me and was like "oh god no you're gonna give me diabetes" and just left me alone lol

[honeyed-poet]

It’s nice to be posting a couple stories here again after so long… I’d welcome any asks you all have! Prey or pred.

Even if I get eaten somewhere along the way… it’ll be worth it in order to share some kind words, and perhaps even some knowledge with you all!

Prey tend to have short lives. Must make the most of them before I write my final tale from within my destined predator’s belly…

Who knows, maybe that pred is reading this right now…

[honeyed-poet]

Plant predators are one subject I haven’t written on much. A massive oversight on my part, given that, as a forest-dwelling fellow, I encounter them almost daily. Whether they be waiting by the forest paths on my daily stroll, or, on occasion, sprouting up in my flower garden… waiting to ensnare an unsuspecting poet as he watches his bees…

For all the voracious plants I’ve encountered though, the ones who have come closest to catching me are… well… predatory sunflowers.

They seem to be a relatively new species in my region, and I’m still formulating how best to deal with them.

I was just out there tending to the meadow, wandering amidst the flowers, watching my bees make merry amidst them… when suddenly, I noticed a sunflower next to me… facing towards me, and away from the sun.

“Wait… don’t sunflowers always face the-“

And in an instant, a pair of eyes opened on that flower’s face, and then a massive drooling, slavering maw, and just as I realized what was happening-

~NOMF~

Its mouth descended upon me, and I was enclosed in the warm, tight space of its mouth. In some insane moment, my scholarly mind noted that the interior of its mouth and throat seemed almost mammalian and warm-blooded, just green. Does it absorb the sunlight and generate its own body hea-

~GULP~

And swiftly, its prehensile tongue curled about my body, pulling me inside with hearty swallows, until my feet were vanishing betwixt its yellow petals, and I was a bulge sliding down its stem, into a larger space beneath the ground… its belly. And above ground, I swear Icould hear it gloating and smacking its lips. Intelligent flowers, it seems. With strong personalities.

I thought hard. I've escaped all manner ofother predators, but being crammed beneaththe earth, with acids rising to slowly digest me,I found myself at something of a loss.

How did I escape this time? Well, it was astroke of luck involving a queen bee from oneof my hives, and a bit of clever negotiation andbotanical knowledge. But that's a story foranother time.

Needless to say, I'm a little wiser, and very wary of large flowers now goodness, in aworld where everything wants to eat you, you can’t even trust the foliage!

[honeyed-poet]

Despite my pride in learning clever ways to get out of being eaten, It’s amazing how some encounters go so casually, so naturally, that it reaffirms the simple truth that… I am edible, and was born with the correct genetic makeup and combination of factors that make me prime prey for many beings. Even my esteemed guests.

Take the girl I’m currently inside, for instance. One who stopped by my cottage for a mere visit not too long ago, and always wanting to be the hospitable sort, I welcomed her in. Gave her a tour of my honey-making operation, my mead cellar, my flower gardens, and of course, full use of the guest room.

She had been staying a few days when, during a nice summer rain, we happened to be out on the porch. Sitting, relaxing, watching the rain pour over the forest grounds and meadows…

I don’t recall how the conversation got here, but I made some comment about how I hoped someone would be around to watch my bees if I ever got eaten… and her belly growled quite loudly in reaction to my words… had I imagined that?

I looked at her face. She was beet red, and trying not to make eye contact. Licking a bit of drool from the corner of her mouth… All those telltale signs… how had I missed them? She had been wanting to eat me this whole time, but had been too polite to ask.

She had been good to me, kind, and helpful to a fault. So against my better judgement, I sighed, and offered her a taste. She agreed enthusiastically, and swept me up in her arms for a kiss…

A kiss became a lick,

A lick became shoving my head in her mouth,

Shoving my head in her mouth lead to a swallow, and before I knew it, my shoes were being removed, and a hearty gulp had sent the last of me down her throat.

Packed into her belly, I could hear her panting in satisfaction… she had been waiting so long to eat me. And all she needed was the slightest hint of permission.

From the feel of things… she’s headed to the village to show off her poet-filled gut to the townsfolk before I get uh-softer… so if anyone would be so kind as to help me out within the next… five hours or so, I would be most grateful!