honeygrahambitch

[honeygrahambitch]

Yes I'm aware I posted the fic about Will smoking instead of the one about Will taking medication irresponsibly. Yes I might like Will engaging in self-destructive behavior.

[honeygrahambitch]

Summary: Will has a bad habit. Hannibal knows about it.

Light mentions of nsfw

-

As Will distanced himself from the crime scene, his right hand dived into the pocket of his coat, searching for a tiny familiar box. When he couldn't find it, his left hand searched for it in the other pocket.

Had he forgotten the cigarettes in his car or at the FBI? He always made sure they never left his pockets. It was not something he felt like exposing to his colleagues. And, of course, not to Hannibal.

It had started with one cigarette now and then. It had become the only way to cope with what he was experiencing. An emotional turmoil of a different kind. Not a bad kind, but still a turmoil.

At the realization that the pack was nowhere to be found, his heart rate increased. He had always told himself he was doing it recreationally but he had never been in a situation where he would not have access to them.

The crime scene had been macabre to say the least. It was late at night, he was slightly sleep deprived and his toxic coping mechanism was nowhere to be found.

"Looking for something?"

He turned around to face Hannibal who was holding exactly what he had lost. Does he act confused or does he accept his faith?

"Yes." He said and averted his eyes from him. "I don't expect you to agree."

"I only wish you had told me." Hannibal said as he pulled out a cigarette and handed the rest to Will. He placed the stick between his lips and drew out an elegant vintage lighter from his pocket.

"I need to introduce you to something finer." He concluded after the smoke invaded his lungs. He handed it to Will who looked even more pale than he did in front of the crime scene.

"Do you...? You don't." Will said as he accepted it.

"I haven't in over fifteen years."

As soon as Will inhaled the smoke, he felt his interior relax slightly. The crime scene was forgotten, it was Hannibal's judgemental glare that was provoking him the anguish.

"I might have a problem." He admitted as he handed it to Hannibal again.

"That's exactly why I stole your pack. I was curious about how you'd react."

"Then you saw me visibly freaking out. Embarrassing."

"I would rather have you doing anything else instead of ruining your health. Your body. Don't poison yourself."

"You look a little pale yourself, doctor. Worried this will ruin the meat?"

Hannibal frowned slightly. He would usually find Will's teasing amusing.

"I am a little pale because I am watching the man I love slowly destroy himself in front of me. It is not done by my hands, I did not know about it and it might even dissipate the idea of consuming you." Hannibal explained, the expression on his face unreadable. "Why are you pale, Will? Did the crime scene scare you? Let's have another look together."

Will shook his head, taken aback.

"I insist." Hannibal said and started walking. As Will followed, he abandoned his cigarette in the snow.

"What do you see?"

"I already did the profile."

"What do you see?,"

"Frustration. Boiling anger. Partly because the victim was not the person he had in mind. He was only a replacement because he couldn't bring himself to... hurt the one that was supposed to be here...his muse."

"And?"

"The lungs are missing. He probably took them as a trophy."

"Think again."

Will looked around, his gaze remaining on the extinguished campfire. "He did not take them. He burnt them to ashes."

"What else is missing?"

"The heart. But he didn't burn it. He kept it." Will said as his gaze softened. "As a reminder of what was beyond his control."

"Not a trophy, the opposite this time. A reminder of his own failure to protect the one he loved."

"And the forensics will tell you he pulled the heart out while it was still beating." Hannibal added as they both stared at the mutilated body.

"How long have you known?"

"Long enough."

"I have never seen you this mad before. You can keep it." Will said as he handed the pack to Hannibal. "Seeing you like this is making me sick."

"Don't ever make me feel anguish again, then. Look at me."

Will did as he was told. He felt some relief when he identified some softness in Hannibal's gaze. The anger was gone.

"If you need a way to escape something, come to me. If you need to feel pain, come to me. Don't do this kind of things to yourself."

"Well I might have picked this up because of your actions," Will finally admitted.

"Why now? You have been analyzing crime scenes for months. It's unlike you to pick up bad habits in order to cope. You never look for ways to cope."

"It's less about the crimes and more about the sex, doctor."

They both went quiet for a few seconds as Hannibal tried to process the confession.

It was not Will's anguish, it was not his nightmares, it was not his stressful job.

"Care to provide more details on that?"

"I am used to the lows, I am not used to the highs. And sleeping with you might be one of the most emotionally charged activities I have experienced."

"You are killing your lungs because we are having good sex?"

"If you put it bluntly, yes," Will said even more embarrassed.

"In my defense, you never ask me to slow down. You always-"

"I always beg for more, I know. I am aware of how much my body is contradicting my brain."

"You should have told me."

"I didn't tell you because I don't want you to change anything."

"Do you think anything in this world would make me be disappointing? In bed, Will?"

Will laughed.

"Drop the cigarettes, the sex will continue to be terrific. What needs to change is your tendency to repress everything you feel. You don't need to repress your positive feelings, Will."

Will murmured something unintelligible.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Louder?"

"Cuddles help. Don't make me admit that again or I'll need a new cigarette."

[honeygrahambitch]

i had an “okay imagine if” moment and my wonderful friend wrote a fic about it and you should read it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66858994

[honeygrahambitch]

I failed a job interview in a language i can hardly use and besides that I had to make two phone calls to make some appointments. Today is abusive.

[honeygrahambitch]

Idk if you're still doing unpopular opinions, but here's mine:

Will does NOT have a fat ass.

I'm sorry, but IT IS NONEXISTENT. HE IS NOT AS CAKED UP AS PEOPLE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE. THAT IS A NORMAL, AVERAGE ASS. NOTHING MORE.

That is all. Thank you.

(I can't believe THIS is my unpopular opinion LMAOOO)

Yes I am still doing unpopular opinions, I have a few more in my asks and yes, this is an unpopular opinion indeed

Sir this is not the average ass.

[honeygrahambitch]

This is the best confession

Idk if you're still doing unpopular opinions, but here's mine:

Will does NOT have a fat ass.

I'm sorry, but IT IS NONEXISTENT. HE IS NOT AS CAKED UP AS PEOPLE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE. THAT IS A NORMAL, AVERAGE ASS. NOTHING MORE.

That is all. Thank you.

(I can't believe THIS is my unpopular opinion LMAOOO)

Yes I am still doing unpopular opinions, I have a few more in my asks and yes, this is an unpopular opinion indeed

Sir this is not the average ass.

[honeygrahambitch]

Anon #1: Will and Hannibal are not in love

Y'all: boooo

Anon #2: Will's ass is average

Y'all: HOW DARE YOU

[honeygrahambitch]

Summary: Will has a bad habit. Hannibal knows about it.

Light mentions of nsfw

-

As Will distanced himself from the crime scene, his right hand dived into the pocket of his coat, searching for a tiny familiar box. When he couldn't find it, his left hand searched for it in the other pocket.

Had he forgotten the cigarettes in his car or at the FBI? He always made sure they never left his pockets. It was not something he felt like exposing to his colleagues. And, of course, not to Hannibal.

It had started with one cigarette now and then. It had become the only way to cope with what he was experiencing. An emotional turmoil of a different kind. Not a bad kind, but still a turmoil.

At the realization that the pack was nowhere to be found, his heart rate increased. He had always told himself he was doing it recreationally but he had never been in a situation where he would not have access to them.

The crime scene had been macabre to say the least. It was late at night, he was slightly sleep deprived and his toxic coping mechanism was nowhere to be found.

"Looking for something?"

He turned around to face Hannibal who was holding exactly what he had lost. Does he act confused or does he accept his faith?

"Yes." He said and averted his eyes from him. "I don't expect you to agree."

"I only wish you had told me." Hannibal said as he pulled out a cigarette and handed the rest to Will. He placed the stick between his lips and drew out an elegant vintage lighter from his pocket.

"I need to introduce you to something finer." He concluded after the smoke invaded his lungs. He handed it to Will who looked even more pale than he did in front of the crime scene.

"Do you...? You don't." Will said as he accepted it.

"I haven't in over fifteen years."

As soon as Will inhaled the smoke, he felt his interior relax slightly. The crime scene was forgotten, it was Hannibal's judgemental glare that was provoking him the anguish.

"I might have a problem." He admitted as he handed it to Hannibal again.

"That's exactly why I stole your pack. I was curious about how you'd react."

"Then you saw me visibly freaking out. Embarrassing."

"I would rather have you doing anything else instead of ruining your health. Your body. Don't poison yourself."

"You look a little pale yourself, doctor. Worried this will ruin the meat?"

Hannibal frowned slightly. He would usually find Will's teasing amusing.

"I am a little pale because I am watching the man I love slowly destroy himself in front of me. It is not done by my hands, I did not know about it and it might even dissipate the idea of consuming you." Hannibal explained, the expression on his face unreadable. "Why are you pale, Will? Did the crime scene scare you? Let's have another look together."

Will shook his head, taken aback.

"I insist." Hannibal said and started walking. As Will followed, he abandoned his cigarette in the snow.

"What do you see?"

"I already did the profile."

"What do you see?,"

"Frustration. Boiling anger. Partly because the victim was not the person he had in mind. He was only a replacement because he couldn't bring himself to... hurt the one that was supposed to be here...his muse."

"And?"

"The lungs are missing. He probably took them as a trophy."

"Think again."

Will looked around, his gaze remaining on the extinguished campfire. "He did not take them. He burnt them to ashes."

"What else is missing?"

"The heart. But he didn't burn it. He kept it." Will said as his gaze softened. "As a reminder of what was beyond his control."

"Not a trophy, the opposite this time. A reminder of his own failure to protect the one he loved."

"And the forensics will tell you he pulled the heart out while it was still beating." Hannibal added as they both stared at the mutilated body.

"How long have you known?"

"Long enough."

"I have never seen you this mad before. You can keep it." Will said as he handed the pack to Hannibal. "Seeing you like this is making me sick."

"Don't ever make me feel anguish again, then. Look at me."

Will did as he was told. He felt some relief when he identified some softness in Hannibal's gaze. The anger was gone.

"If you need a way to escape something, come to me. If you need to feel pain, come to me. Don't do this kind of things to yourself."

"Well I might have picked this up because of your actions," Will finally admitted.

"Why now? You have been analyzing crime scenes for months. It's unlike you to pick up bad habits in order to cope. You never look for ways to cope."

"It's less about the crimes and more about the sex, doctor."

They both went quiet for a few seconds as Hannibal tried to process the confession.

It was not Will's anguish, it was not his nightmares, it was not his stressful job.

"Care to provide more details on that?"

"I am used to the lows, I am not used to the highs. And sleeping with you might be one of the most emotionally charged activities I have experienced."

"You are killing your lungs because we are having good sex?"

"If you put it bluntly, yes," Will said even more embarrassed.

"In my defense, you never ask me to slow down. You always-"

"I always beg for more, I know. I am aware of how much my body is contradicting my brain."

"You should have told me."

"I didn't tell you because I don't want you to change anything."

"Do you think anything in this world would make me be disappointing? In bed, Will?"

Will laughed.

"Drop the cigarettes, the sex will continue to be terrific. What needs to change is your tendency to repress everything you feel. You don't need to repress your positive feelings, Will."

Will murmured something unintelligible.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Louder?"

"Cuddles help. Don't make me admit that again or I'll need a new cigarette."

[honeygrahambitch]

Idk if you're still doing unpopular opinions, but here's mine:

Will does NOT have a fat ass.

I'm sorry, but IT IS NONEXISTENT. HE IS NOT AS CAKED UP AS PEOPLE MAKE HIM OUT TO BE. THAT IS A NORMAL, AVERAGE ASS. NOTHING MORE.

That is all. Thank you.

(I can't believe THIS is my unpopular opinion LMAOOO)

Yes I am still doing unpopular opinions, I have a few more in my asks and yes, this is an unpopular opinion indeed

Sir this is not the average ass.

[honeygrahambitch]

If Will wouldn't have looked hot he would have pulled them out. But Hannibal was manipulated by how sexy he was.

Will has no excuse for looking so sexy while having a needle in his arm or a tube down his throat, it's not Hannibal's fault

[honeygrahambitch]

these two scenes being just an episode apart kills me everytime

[honeygrahambitch]

Will has no excuse for looking so sexy while having a needle in his arm or a tube down his throat, it's not Hannibal's fault

[honeygrahambitch]

"Tell me I'm the worst. Tell me I'm guilty of all your crimes."

Hannibal grinned intrigued.

"Interesting. In fact," he said as something in his gaze changed, "Shall we dive more into that?"

"Hearing the confirmation of what you keep telling yourself is a relief as much as it is a final sentence."

"It had been a sentence, hadn't it? You have been imprisoned especially for the accusation that you wish to hear from me."

"I heard it from so many people. Jack, Alana, Chilton. They wouldn't say it the same way you would."

"I wouldn't say it derogatorily," Hannibal reflected, "Regarding what I said before you voiced your request, I would like to correct myself. I no longer believe you have urges to be degraded."

"What do you believe then? And for your own knowledge, I'm having this conversation only because you insisted."

"I insisted yet that request of yours followed shortly. I wonder which of us was more eager to hear it aloud," Hannibal said before answering Will's question. "I believe degradation arouses you only when it's said as praise. You were right, many people called you names and accused you. It had been your prison guard who had praised you for it for the first time. You might have discovered something about yourself in that very moment, hadn't you been so driven to have me killed."

"Continue, doctor, call it praise straightforwardly."

"I wouldn't. You don't get off to praise like other people do."

"Like you do," Will interrupted him.

"If it comes from you, yes. And the reason why you haven't been that impressed by Matthew Brown is that you weren't looking for his appreciation. And not only that." Hannibal paused… "Although I was not in the room with the two of you, I imagine his appreciation had outweighed your need for degradation."

"So it's because he told me I'm the best boy and not the worst? Say it the way I would like it," Will challenged him as he shifted in his seat.

"You didn't commit the crimes I did, I will not give you any credit for that. Not for my own work, Will," Hannibal started, "however that doesn't mean that you haven't been on my mind during every single one of them. The sole thought of the way you would look at it the next day had been like a muse to me. You see me, you see the worst because you are capable of the worst. When the time comes you will see that with your own eyes." Hannibal said.

When Will wanted to reply, Hannibal gestured to him to remain silent for just a bit more. "You are unforgiving, your resentment is sharp like a hunting knife. You crave violence and blood. You find nourishment in my tableaus. They scratch areas in your brain that long to be stimulated. You thrive on anguish and fear. Your pulse quickens just as my crimes remind you of how much beauty there is in the ugliest things in the world. People appreciate you for saving lives. I appreciate you for taking lives and for feeling a certain thrill. Matthew was a mere fan of my works, not yours. Straightforward praise does nothing to you because of your inherent belief that you don't deserve it. But being praised through having your violence and cunningness acknowledged, that's something else. You're bloodthirsty and you find delight in that. You find delight in the way I appreciate that."

Will looked at his watch. He might just have been forced to face an intimate truth. He wondered if words had any point. Hannibal didn't need him to confirm that he was right.

"There is nothing more thrilling than being seen and being appreciated for what we are" Will finally said.

"We crave what we have been denied. I don't want to deny you anything, Will."

"In that case, I suggest we go home."

[honeygrahambitch]

"Tell me I'm the worst. Tell me I'm guilty of all your crimes."

Hannibal grinned intrigued.

"Interesting. In fact," he said as something in his gaze changed, "Shall we dive more into that?"

"Hearing the confirmation of what you keep telling yourself is a relief as much as it is a final sentence."

"It had been a sentence, hadn't it? You have been imprisoned especially for the accusation that you wish to hear from me."

"I heard it from so many people. Jack, Alana, Chilton. They wouldn't say it the same way you would."

"I wouldn't say it derogatorily," Hannibal reflected, "Regarding what I said before you voiced your request, I would like to correct myself. I no longer believe you have urges to be degraded."

"What do you believe then? And for your own knowledge, I'm having this conversation only because you insisted."

"I insisted yet that request of yours followed shortly. I wonder which of us was more eager to hear it aloud," Hannibal said before answering Will's question. "I believe degradation arouses you only when it's said as praise. You were right, many people called you names and accused you. It had been your prison guard who had praised you for it for the first time. You might have discovered something about yourself in that very moment, hadn't you been so driven to have me killed."

"Continue, doctor, call it praise straightforwardly."

"I wouldn't. You don't get off to praise like other people do."

"Like you do," Will interrupted him.

"If it comes from you, yes. And the reason why you haven't been that impressed by Matthew Brown is that you weren't looking for his appreciation. And not only that." Hannibal paused… "Although I was not in the room with the two of you, I imagine his appreciation had outweighed your need for degradation."

"So it's because he told me I'm the best boy and not the worst? Say it the way I would like it," Will challenged him as he shifted in his seat.

"You didn't commit the crimes I did, I will not give you any credit for that. Not for my own work, Will," Hannibal started, "however that doesn't mean that you haven't been on my mind during every single one of them. The sole thought of the way you would look at it the next day had been like a muse to me. You see me, you see the worst because you are capable of the worst. When the time comes you will see that with your own eyes." Hannibal said.

When Will wanted to reply, Hannibal gestured to him to remain silent for just a bit more. "You are unforgiving, your resentment is sharp like a hunting knife. You crave violence and blood. You find nourishment in my tableaus. They scratch areas in your brain that long to be stimulated. You thrive on anguish and fear. Your pulse quickens just as my crimes remind you of how much beauty there is in the ugliest things in the world. People appreciate you for saving lives. I appreciate you for taking lives and for feeling a certain thrill. Matthew was a mere fan of my works, not yours. Straightforward praise does nothing to you because of your inherent belief that you don't deserve it. But being praised through having your violence and cunningness acknowledged, that's something else. You're bloodthirsty and you find delight in that. You find delight in the way I appreciate that."

Will looked at his watch. He might just have been forced to face an intimate truth. He wondered if words had any point. Hannibal didn't need him to confirm that he was right.

"There is nothing more thrilling than being seen and being appreciated for what we are" Will finally said.

"We crave what we have been denied. I don't want to deny you anything, Will."

"In that case, I suggest we go home."

[honeygrahambitch]

He's an ass that's what he is

Am I overexaggerating or is Jack a horribly bad friend?

And just...a bad boss and a rude college and...

I hate him and I can't tell if that's an unpopular opinion

[honeygrahambitch]

The job: we want you to be able to speak English and [redacted]

My application: I can speak English and I am still learning [Redacted]

The job: ok we want you. You are invited to the interview. But the interview will be solely in [redacted]

[honeygrahambitch]

If Hannibal Lecter had asked me why we didn't have an affair, I would have folded like Alana as well