Like A Lazy Ocean Hugs The Shore
4.8k words without the hcs um??? enjoy?? Or donât idkđđđž
Suguru and Shoko definitely know heâs head over heels for you. The only ones that donât know are you and himself.
Heâs an absolute brat (at least teen him is). He gets what he wants and becomes kind of a bully? No yeah he definitely bullies other guys flirting with you to back off. But thatâs just him being a good friend you know? Itâs not because heâs in love with you thereâs no way.
He loves getting you riled up.
Something about you getting mad at him is so cute.
He loves making you laugh more though.
He isnât sure why he wants you all to himself but he just does, because itâs him or no one.
When he realizes though he puts the work in to better himself.
He wants you to know itâs you and him forever. His love never ending never wavering, infinite if you will. He loves you for infinity.
The beach would always be your worst enemy.
Salty waters and inescapable sands where no matter however many times you rinsed, the more particles clung. An endless cycle to become dirty, and you hated getting dirty and soaked in a place other than your tub. Hated feeling gritty and never knowing what could swipe you off your feet. And he knew that.
Despite your protests, despite the moaning and groaning, despite the bickering, he still brought you here against your request. So, here he was without a consequence in the world walking on water smirking down at you while you scowled at the need to look up at him. Standing submerged in blue waters all you thought of was going home. The issue?
He was your ride home.
âDonât look so smug Gojo, it makes you look ugly.â
Your comment only seemed to satisfy him more. His expression grew into a grin.
âYouâre just mad you look like a wet rat and I donât.â
In his own dumb way he was right. You were frustrated with the fact that salt water was ruining your hair running down your skin with its droplets dripping off your shoulders.
âYou three blind biâ â
âWhoa, whoa letâs keep it PG for the kids.â
Youâd never wanted to gut Gojo Satoru the âgreatest sorcererâ alive so badly before.
Twenty minutes ago youâd been finishing a braid for your date later, you still had just enough time to put together an outfit youâd planned all week. Everything would be perfect, or so you thought. Before you had the chance to change out of your uniform there was a knock on your door. A sturdy rhythm meant only for you. You sighed making your way to the door slowly pulling at the handle. You tilted your head up blinking at a pair of sunglasses attached to a lanky teen.
âWhat Gojo?â
He leaned on your doorway grinning, pretty white strands swept across his eyes mixing with his lashes. He brushed back hair from his eyes with a singular hand.
âLetâs go to the beach!â His moist lips stretched into a toothy smile.
You raised an eyebrow blinking twice to take in the statement. You didnât have time for this, you still hadnât even decided if you liked the outfit youâd been thinking of. Rolling your eyes you began shutting your door.
âYou didnât need to come all the way here to tell me that. You have my number, text me.â
The door wouldnât close, something had kept it from meeting the frame. You felt your eyebrow involuntarily twitch as you looked back at sunglasses.
âI was thinking a little moreâŚspontaneous.â
âHow spontaneous?â
âI dunno.â He tapped his chin with a comically large finger faking confusion. âWhat about now?â
Gojo looked over his glasses at you as if trying to tempt you to give in.
âThanks, but no thanks. I have plans and once again you shouldâve shot me a text.â You groan, annoyed, as you repeatedly try closing your door with Gojo now using his infinity. Watching this sparked the urge to stomp on his toes despite the fact that the act would be utterly useless.
âHey hotshot, move your foot Iâve got places to be.â
He took a step forward then another and another painfully slow step. He was pushing you and your dorm door back with every step that his infinity followed. Thus making it easy to now be standing in the middle of your room. A messy room that he gave a once over with his hands in his pockets. Your ears burned with embarrassment imagining how your room must seem through his eyes. Clothing tossed across the bed and your floor, mostly unfolded laundry and the others articles of clothing youâd tossed aside through the week searching for your perfect outfit.
Why was it when you need something it isnât there, but when you donât it appears. The same thing happened with your highlighterâ wait a minute what was that? You tried unsuspiciously stepping on the object and kicking it under your dresser. Clearing your throat you tried to pretend the both of you werenât in your room.
âWhy canât you bother Suguru or Shoko?â You needed to do one thing at a time, your date was in forty minutes. The first order of business was to kick this fool out.
Gojo gave you a quick once over as though heâd pieced something together. The realization was over by the time heâd plopped himself onto your bed.
âTheyâre busy.â He whined not even bothering to move the clean folded clothes beneath him.
âAnd Iâm not?â You crossed your arms with a frown leaning your weight to the right.
âYouâre never too busy to not spare time for me.â There he was again grinning with his eyes over the glasses stare again. This time your eyes blew wide and your mouth fell slack.
Usually you were free, any other time you would say yes to hang out with your friends, but the guy youâd been crushing on for two years finally asked you out. The only person you told was Shoko, you didnât like the idea of telling everyone about a relationship that might not even blossom. You wanted to tell people when you were sure and the only person you couldnât hide it from was her. Being on the spot you werenât sure what to say to him.
Actually, it wasnât even any of his business.
âWhy donât you go help them instead?â You deflected.
âHm, too much work.â Gojo lazily pushed off your bed, hands in his pockets as he approached you. You made the note to wash your sheets and clothes again if you didnât want the smell of Gojoâs expensive cologne wafting around you.
You pinched the inside of your cheek with your teeth, biting back more than a few profanities. Now you understood why Shoko smoked.
âThen how about we go after my plans?â
âHow aboutâŚno?â Gojo leaned in your space, his face inches from yours just to prove a point.
âI donât even own a bathing suit!â
He nearly fell into you at the force of his laughter leaving him doubling over. Calming from whatever had been so funny he wiped a stray tear from his eye and opened them. Watching him inflate back to his full height you caught a glimpse of his eyes.
Bright and blue. Filled to the brim of you.
A sight so pretty you hadnât noticed his hands reach out for you until he was pulling you against him.
âGojo!â
âWhy do you need a bathing suit?â
âYou know how the school feels about our uniforms.â You scolded.
He just laughed it off.
âWhy donât we test âem out for a little swim?â
Despite your disapproval you were easily tossed over his shoulders much to your dismay.
âGojo Satoru, donât you dare, I told you I haveââ
âWhat were you saying?â
Before you could even finish you were dangling over a body salt water. Oh how you hated this man.
âOops.â
Your body splashed into the sea ruining your non waterproof makeup.
You spent the next twenty minutes fighting the waters resistance to chase around Gojo. Yelling curses telling him to take you back to Jujutsu High as you chased his laughing form further into the sea. Every step you took he took backwards with the use of Infinity. Your nostrils flared as tears pricked your eyes. So help you God you were going to break his Infinity and beat him senseless.
âThis isnât funny Gojo!â You coughed and sputtered on salt water.
âAww, are you finally hitting your limit?â
âI hit my limit ages ago! Take me backââ You charged forward not applying your full attention to your surroundings. The sand had dipped leaving you with nothing to keep your head afloat. You sucked in a sharp breath reaching out for help before falling under.
âStop pretending, Iâve seen you swim before.â Gojo rolled his eyes convinced you were crying wolf.
âIf you come up now Iâll take you right back to your dorm.â He teased this time with a grin, there was no way youâd keep faking after that. He waited a few seconds, a frown taking over his features. He was sure you knew how to swim, didnât you? He remembered seeing you swim at the pool party theyâd been to last year, he remembered thinking your swimsuit was hot. But that didnât mean that you got into the water. He didnât know how long you could hold your breath. Nor how long the average person could. How many seconds? How many seconds had it been? Gojoâs heart spiked in his chest as he called out for you. His infinity broke momentarily.
Something grasped his leg before he broke the stillness of the water that was no longer motionless.
Water dripped off your arms loudly as you used both arms to treat him like a lifesaver before breaking for air with a glare. Or rather a face full of determination. You grabbed at him pulling and climbing his dry uniform until you were no longer submerged. Your hands stopped at his collar as you stared down two big dark pools. Taking a hand you snatched off his sunglasses and tossed them, far.
Without them he was left staring at you with blown out eyes. To you he resembled a lighthouse being crashed into.
âFuck. You.â You hissed, âTake me home.â
Gojo parted his lips to say something, anything. Instead he was reduced to shudders and barely a second later plummeting both of you into the dark blue sea.
Underneath the large parasol Shoko and you watched two idiots splash each other with water. They were dressed to the nines with gear; scuba slippers, inflatable ducky floaties, and ducky swim tubes, why? You werenât sure, you both assumed it was for the aesthetic since the both of them could swim.
Resting on the palm of your hand you took in the view breathing in salty air and smell of the heat from the sun. You were content for now. You hadnât been dropped in icy waters or dealt with too much sand clinging to you.
âShoko?â
âHm?â She bit down hard on the blueberry Tootsie Pop, sheâd gotten tired of counting to get to the center.
âWe didnât bring floaties with us, right?â You tried thinking back to what everyone loaded into the car, which was the parasol, a picnic basket, blankets, and some fireworks. You thought the floaties may have been deflated, except you still shouldâve noticed them.
âNo, Gojo flirted with some mom to hand over the kid floats.â
âHuhâŚâ You murmured to yourself more than Shoko as confirmation.
Pushing up from the comforts of the beach blanket you felt the sand settle between your toes. Ignoring the layer of grit built under your feet you approached the water yelling over splashing and laughter. Neither of them heard their names from your distance. You paved your way toward them dodging giggling children and families taking photos. Chills made their way up your spine as water passed your ankles.
With them running closer to you, you called out their names again. You assumed Gojo would look ahead at some point or maybe Suguru would warn him, that didnât happen since they both were in their own little world.
Gojo crashed into you. Limbs tangled together with his arm around your waist keeping the both of you steady.
âYou alright?â He huffed out, chest heaving from the run.
âIâm fine.â You said but you could barely tell youâd spoken. Seeing him soaking wet, water gliding down his bodyâ you flinched back. A droplet of saltwater dripped into your eye. A stream of curses fell from your lips as you rubbed your eye.
âShit, lemme see.â His arm tugged you closer while the other rested on your cheek thumb ready to wipe at your eye. âItâs fine, itâs fine.â You rubbed at it turning your head from his hand squinting. Eyes landing on something black, blue, and yellow charging forward.
âSuguru! Time out! Time out!â You held out a hand to stop him while Gojo turned to the disturbance. He slammed into Gojo, matching duck floats bouncing off another sending the three of you splashing into the water.
Gojoâs eyes were bare exposed over his sunglasses. Again all you saw was blue and you. Only you. Your lips parted to speakâ Gojoâs sunglasses slipped hitting you on the chest.
Beside you Suguru snorted breaking whatever tension had risen. He broke into a full laugh as Gojo rolled off of you. Following his friend he laughed until the three of you were in sync.
Broken giggles passed your lips as the laughter died down. The three of you sat up. Instead of handing back his sunglasses you tucked them behind your ears letting them rest on your head.
âTell me, whoâs bright idea was it to borrow childrenâs floaties?â
Their giggles seized, both of them seemingly sharing a thought.
âSuââ
âSatoruâs!â
âHey! No, it was our idea!â He didnât have the chance to finish since youâd wrapped him in a head lock. He barely lasted before slapping at your arm choking out, âUncle! Uncle!â
Releasing an arm you reached over to Suguruâs chuckling form to tug him into one. Both of them mirroring another struggling under your grasp.
After youâd gotten back to shore you went to Shoko whoâd now been tanning as you toweled off. Next to you was your sling bag, opening it you gathered your sunscreen giving the bottle a few shakes before squeezing some in your hands. Warming the lotion in your hands for a few seconds then massaging it into your legs feeling around for excess sand.
âShoko?â
She hummed you noticed another lollipop in her mouth, maybe cherry? You smoothed more sunscreen onto your stomach and arms.
âCould you put sunscreen on my back?â
She popped the lollipop out of her mouth, you were right, cherry.
âYeah, you ready now?â She pushed herself off her towel heading toward you when you nodded. You brought Gojoâs sunglasses down to your eyes before handing Shoko the bottle.
âWant me to do you next, or are you still tanning?â
Laying on your stomach you kicked your legs, toes digging into the gritty sand.
âAlmost done, you can share with me once Iâve done my back.â Sheâd popped the lollipop back into her mouth, you heard the candy hit her teeth. She shook the bottle a few times and snapped the top back. You rested your head on your folded arms closing your eyes behind stolen sunglasses.
Shoko tapped your back three times. âIâll be right back, hold on.â
You hummed in agreement eyes still closed hearing Shoko yell out for Suguru. A warm breeze swept by wafting the strong smell of salt water and rippling through the multicolor blanket you laid on. She returned without a word shaking the bottle again and warming it in her hands. When she rubbed the lotion on your back you practically jumped out of your skin.
âYoure notâGojo?â Youâd jolted your head from its comfortable position staring over borrowed glasses at the imposter behind you.
âWhereâs Shoko?â
His cheeks tinged red turning sunburnt you assumed as the color spread to his ears without meeting your gaze.
âShe said something about wanting a cold drink, her and Suguru are running to the store.â
âOh.â You laid your head back down. Gojoâs hands fidgeted before resting on your shoulder blades rubbing in the lotion.
ââŚWhy..donât you ever call me Satoru?â
You glanced back at him, focused on covering every bit of skin he saw.
âAre we close enough to do that?â
âUm, hello? Iâm literally giving you a back rub free of charge, weâre more than close.â
âThis doesnât count youâre my servant, of course itâs free.â Your laughter was short lived when you felt Gojo snapping the strap of your bathing suit.
âGojo!â
âSatoru!â
âGojo!â
âSatoru! Youâre not very good at picking up clues.â
You raised an eyebrow, âAre you calling me stupid?â
âNow youâre just putting words in my mouth,â He pouted feigning sadness, âwill you at least say it?â
Pressing on your elbows you pushed up in a sphinx pose tilting your head back to see him over his glasses which were slipping off your nose.â
âSatoru.â You sounded the syllables out slowly saying the name alone felt foreign to you. He smiled, Satoru smiled. When he did his eyes did that thing you liked. Bright blue eyes reflecting back the sand, the parasol, the blanket and you. You blinked.
âAgain.â
âSatoru.â
âAgain! Again!â
âSatoru.â
âAgain!â He laughed grabbing at the sunscreen bottle shaking the contents.
You wanted to tease him, how did Suguru usually say it? Your eyes fluttered close thinking back on Suguruâs voice. You mumbled to yourself.
âI canât hear you~â He hit the bottom of the bottle and popped back the lid.
Clearing your throat and adding volume to your voice you repeated his name again with a slow purr. The same as Suguru does when scolding him sometimes.
A hard dry squeeze was heard with the feeling of an icy sensation on your back. You squealed kicking your legs back to sit on your bottom.
âSatoru!â
His glasses fell on your lap as you frowned at him. He avoided your gaze, fiddling with the bottle.
âHere.â You placed his sunglasses back on his face tucking his ears under the legs.
âWho wouldâve known, the strongest is no match against some UV rays.â
âUV rays?â Satoru echoed his mind light years away, âIâm not sunburnt.â
âMaybe you donât feel it now, but you will later.â
You tugged on his wrist pulling him closer.
âIâve got more than enough room to share, get under while I salvage what little skin you have left to save.â
When Suguru and Shoko had returned Satoru had been reduced to a bright red lobster with you rubbing sunscreen on his back.
Satoru and you lazily walked back to your agreed checkpoint. The spot all four of you chose to be yours, the area beside the boardwalk. A memory of Satoru banging his head against the wooden beam made you giggle as you tipped back the bottle to your lips.
Satoruâs blue eyes peered over at you lingering lower before glancing forward again.
âWhatâs so funny?â
âNothingâŚjustâŚâ You shook your head bringing the bottle back down to fiddle with. The sun burned your exposed back and sun clung to your toes.
âRemember when we first came here?â
Satoruâs arm bumped into yours, he twitched relaxing as he began tossing his can back and forth.
âWasnât that two years ago? Why are you thinking about that now?â
âMmm, just thinking about how much of an idiot you are.â You paused, he bumped into you again. He could never walk straight no matter how big the sidewalk is.
âWell more of how big of a pain in the ass you areââ You shove him away, âIs it impossible for you to not cling to me itâs too hot for this!â
He whined glueing himself and his cold can to your body while you tried shoving him off. Squeezed between him you unscrewed the top of your bottle raising it above his head.
âYouâre being unfair! Donât pour that on me!â He grabbed at your raised arm holding your wrist but you still tilted it anyway. Light pink juice trickled down his hair gliding under his sunglasses, he tried blinking away what had gotten in his eyes.
âThatâs for two years ago.â You slid your wrist away as he wiped at his eyes.
âI paid 360 yen for that and this is how Iâm treated?â
âTsk, rich people always complain about getting their money back from the poor.â You sighed.
Satoru shook his drenched hair at you in retaliation.
âDonât! Iâm going to get all sticky!â You backed away, behind his glasses you couldâve sworn you saw his eyes gleam.
âSticky you say?â He took a âmenacingâ step forward shaking the can in his hand.
âRuâŚSatoruâŚwe can talk about this.â You persuaded as you watched him thumb the tab, air decompressing made you book it.
You ran laughing breathing through your nose smelling dirt. Breathing out you felt your cheap flip flop pop and abandoned it. With you leading the both of you made it back to your destination, Shoko and Suguru nowhere in sight. Passing the checkpoint you headed for the boardwalk dodging and weaving through the structures poles.
Both of you laughing to the point where your stomach hurt if you didnât breathe again soon.
âRu, please!â Your face burned from the rush.
âThereâs no begging your way out of this, you started and Iâll finish.â
âWrong,â You barely escaped his attempt to splash you, âYou started this two years ago!â
âThe past is the past let it go.â
âYeah Ru,â He tried again making you hide behind a pole which became a back and forth, âthe past is the past why donât we drop the weapon and we talk about this like adults?â
âMy rules donât apply to me.â
A toned arm the width of the pole you stood behind reached for you successfully pulling you near. Your attempts at escaping were futile as he lifted the can above your head. You squeezed your eyes shut feeling nothing for a moment and peeled them open. Finally you were met with soda pouring down your head, you hissed groping at your eyes.
âFuck thatâ that burns!â Your eyes watered as you harshly rubbed at them.
âSee doesnât feel nice does it?â
âNeither does being dropped in water.â You blinked out what you could, âWhyâd you even do that?â
âPretty sure I told you I was bored or something back then.â His arms rested around your waist, you felt the half full can against your back.
You slapped his chest playfully, âI had a hot date that day, thanks to you I donât have a boyfriend right now. All Iâve got now is you.â
Satoru peered down at you almost in the way you liked. This close you could see it when he stared over the rim of his glasses eyes full of blueâŚand you. Yet something else that he seemed to blink away in an instant tucking his eyes back behind the shades, keeping his blue at a distance.
âWell, nobodyâs stopping you.â
Satoru smiled. One that youâd never seen directed toward you before, it twitched, you didnât like it.
âRu?â
He turned his head away from you looking bored at the top of the boardwalk.
âYou shouldâve told me you had a date, maybe I wouldâve left you alone.â
You wanted to say something else, you really did a better question then parroting yourself but you couldnât help it.
âBut, whyâd you drop me?â
A familiar feeling settled between the two of you as you waited. When he answered you remembered it rained. You rememberedâŚ
The gloss on his lips when he smiled at you in such a sad way, âBlue just suits you better.â
Looking back at it no matter how you thought about it he had to have known, because he walked you to class the next day despite your protests. Your âdateâ wouldnât look you in the eye whenever he was behind you.
Rumors of letters left in your locker were never true because not a single one ever appeared. The pieces fell together all because of a pair of green earrings. Green earrings your date had gifted you were lost at sea, when you begged Satoru for a new pair heâd gotten the same pairâŚin blue.
Your heart shook as you stood under the pier once more with Satoru. Deja vu plagued your mind despite the situation.
You could barely look at him.
âHowâd you know Iâd be here?â You leaned your head against a pillar staring far away. The sun began setting just like the day Shoko and Suguru never showed up. Thinking back you wished youâd begged them.
âLucky guess,â Satoru glanced at the crumbled paper you held, âYou got one too..huh.â He muttered.
âSatoru.â
âI, I saw him.â His voice wavered with his step forward. âI saw him and I couldnât do it.â
âSatoru.â
âHe asked about you.â He nervously flexed his hands reaching for you in hopes of an understanding. âHe said something about, about our letters.â Satoru stood in front of you, you barely needed to lift a finger to touch him.
âCan IâŚspeak now?â
âJust please promise you wonât leave me over this, over something I canât help. I really didnât mean to I donât know whyââ He rambled off struggling to find anything for you to stay.
âSatoru, Iâm not going anywhere, Iâm here Ru.â
He nods pressing his lips together and settling his hands to grab at his pockets to stop his flurry of words. His thumbs danced around his pockets.
âDo you like me?â You gripped the letter with both hands holding proof in front of him.
His fingers froze as he tried to stop his emotions from spilling, but he always slipped up in front of you. Here he stood with nothing to hide behind.
He grimaced, âWe donât have toâIâm fine with being friends.â
âRu, are you in love with me?â
Satoru shut his eyes white strands falling into his lashes.
âI know itâs weird this isnât how,â pushing his hair back he let out a frustrated sigh, âthis isnât how I wanted to do this and you must be so uncomfortable Iâm so sorry.â
âRu.â Youâd placed your hands over his shaking ones, âIâm here, Iâm still here just tell me. Is it true you love me?â
âOf course I do,â he breathes out of breath from you even touching him, âI know I havenât shown you in the best ways but if youâll let me prove it to you.â He squeezes your hands when he finally meets your gaze. You see your reflection in Satoruâs sea full of blue and you.
âI have another question.â
âItâs not very cool of you to not respond back to my confession.â
âWell I have something to say before I answer.â
Satoru groaned playfully becoming annoyed with you, you continued anyway.
âWere you really going to die without even telling me how you felt?â
âAre youâŚare you scolding me for something I couldnât predict thatâs so uncool.â
âYouâre uncool I couldâve missed out on the greatest love of my life because he was too chicken to tell me!â
âHuh???â
âIâm not done yet! If youâd really died I wouldâve lived to 90 years old all alone how rude!â
âYou canât be serious right now.â
âIâm dead serious.â You said with a grin. One that made the both of you laugh.
He pressed his forehead against yours.
âHow can I make up for it?â
âFirst you can start off by not dying.â
âDo I get a trial period, because I may be the strongest but even I canât beat the inevitable.â His nose bumped yours.
âCan you last the next ten years?â
âI think I can manage, what else?â
âI think you already know the answer to that.â
He lowered his eyes to your lips before they flicked back up to yours. You nodded heart practically in your throat.
All the years you noticed his lips really were soft and moist. Surprisingly, his lips werenât sweet. You traced your fingers up his chest wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him close. You felt as though you were floating, your head becoming mush feeling Satoruâs hands grip your waist, hands shaking.
You couldnât tell for sure whoâs it was but, you were positive his heart was racing too.
Funnily enough the weather cleared up a bit later, giving the both of you time to dry off. You walked hand in hand swinging your arms back and forth.
âSooo, when did you know how you felt about me?â
You pressed your hand to your chin looking up to the sky in thought.
âHuhâŚIâm pretty sure that year we did fireworks, I was shivering with Suguruâs button up when I said I was fine you still gave me your jacket anyway. Iâd never felt so warm.â
The waves softly crash pushing and pulling from the sand as it sets up another domino effect.
âMine was when Shoko told me you had a date before she left.â
You shoved him with a free hand the other interlocked with his still.
âI knew it! Youâre such a jerk.â
âI was jealous,â Satoru pouted, âI told you Iâd do better.â
You laughed, âI know Ru, and I love you for that.â
Satoruâs ears burns red but he lays his head on top of yours anyway, murmuring the same thing over and over again.
âI love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.â
Words that distract you from feeling your first ever love letter slipping from your fingers. The paper floating amongst a breeze leaving with unanswered questions.
âââââââââââââââ
If the ending wasnât clear im sorry i wasnât sure how to execute it??? Like I kinda hate it lmfao might fix it some other time but basically:
It takes place after the KFC breakup pretty much and Gojo and Geto also talk about you. Geto mentions to Gojo that after dealing with him he should go find you since he spilled the beans in his letter for you and im not sure if i made it clear when they were all hanging out but Geto was also crushing on you a little letter bloopers were:
âAll these years it was obvious to me and Shoko that he loved you, everytime he saw you heâd gotten worse at hiding it. Since I can no longer be there this is my last âgoodâ deed. Please let my poor friend have the opportunity to confess.â
âI know the next time we meet will be as enemies, but tell me if youâd known would I have stood a chance?â
I really REALLY wanted to write the firework scene but it already took me a MONTH to stop procrastinating and type everything and I felt like I was yapping a lot so I didnât and I really want to add it but I know me and itâd be ANOTHER month đđđž pray for me bro..
It wouldâve consisted of Geto being more obvious he likes you by giving you his button up and Gojo sees you a little later like 𤨠ânow I KNOW im not seeing what im seeing rnâ practically tucking you in his jacket lmaooo and shoko going feed up with both their shit.
See? Look at me yapping away what I MEANT to say was Id been reading this story on here called Intrinsic Warmth (if you are here instead of there I need you to click off and go find it because it is a MASTERPIECE sending me through the 57 states of grief ohmygod itâs so good I love the way they write Gojo so much heâs so đŠ and Heibi(you) đŠđŠđŠđŠ I could yell from the rooftops) what was I sayingâŚOH so basically thatdesklamp (the author) inspired this pretty much Intrinsic Warmthâs chapters take place one day a year so I tried to have my story move in only the same setting. You hate the beach but learn to tolerate it. You tolerate Gojo but somehow learn to love him.
Please read Intrinsic Warmth I really need someone to talk to about it đď¸ đď¸.
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The Long Goodbye
Iâve also got this on AO3 and Wattpad uhhh I donât use tumblr often I donât think Iâve ever written anything on here since I made the account? If you wanna teach me anything thatâd be niceâŚ
Character deaths warning this is Dazai youâre reading about + Beast Light Novel spoilers.
"Osamu, why do you always seem like you're going somewhere?" You murmured to the man laying on your chest.
"Belladonna," His laugh vibrated against you warming the heart he pressed his ear against. "I'm not going anywhere."Â
"I know you Dazai, maybe you're not going anywhere but you're planning something." You frowned raising an eyebrow at him, "And you know how much I hate that nickname cut it out."Â
A calloused hand slipped from under you, Dazai slide his body above yours before resting his hand on your cheek. Dipping his head and gently kissing the curve of your neck softly. A contrast to the rough hand grazing over your burning ears.Â
"Love, forgive me..sometimes I feel as though you'll be the death of me." Dazai cold breath brought chills amongst your spine. "Even outsmarting me in my own game, you know I love it when you call me my name."Â
"Osamu."Â
"That's better." Before resting his weight against you once more. A comfortable silence trickled in, staring at the ceiling you slipped your hands in his hair massaging his scalp as he controlled his breathing.Â
"What are you planning?"Â
Dazai grinned up at you. "Well right now I'm planning to cuddle with you for an hour or so then maybe seduceâ"
You sat up bending his body uncomfortably above you, he rolled off to an empty side of the bed.Â
"Seriously Dazai, I'm trying to have a conversation with you." You furrowed your eyebrows at the steel case beside you, he made you curious. He sighed through his nose and faced the ceiling.Â
"Like I said earlier, I'm not going anywhere or planning anything. Can we go back to what we were doing?"Â
He was changing the subject, but this had been something you wanted to discuss for awhile now.Â
"Dazai, why have I never been to your job? Actually, why won't you let me?"
"I never want to see you there." He still wouldn't look at you.Â
"Where do you work?"Â
He didn't respond. You pressed your lips together as you stared at him. You wanted him to tell you the truth, you gave him chances, hints, nudges. Now you were pushing.Â
"The Port Mafia, (Y/n) I work at the Port Mafia." You said for him. He stilled turning to look at you with wide eyes.Â
"What...what did you just say?"Â
"Did you expect me to never see a wanted poster with your name on it? Or see the news? Are your bandages on too tight?" Sarcasm poured from you, you didn't want to be cross with him, but if you want to hide something don't do a piss poor job at it.Â
Dazai pushed off the bed. He felt around for his deep brown rich coat and shoes.Â
"What are you doing?" You stood following him.
"I have to go."
"We're not done talking."
"I'm done...I'm done talking."Â
"You're kidding." You breathed out as he approached the door.Â
"You face countless threats everyday risking your life, but you're a coward when it comes to me?"Â
His back faced you as he held the doorknob with an internal struggle. He shut his eyes seeing something he never wanted to see again.Â
"Yes (Y/n), goodnight."
He slipped away leaving only a quiet click of the door. Presenting him with what you knew meant Dazai had more plans to arrange. He only hoped you wouldn't be there when the time came.Â
You hadn't heard from him in days and it was getting on your nerves. You only wanted to talk, to understand, to calm your nerves. There'd been more fights breaking out within Yokohama since your last conversation.Â
You didn't even know if he was alive.Â
You were bristling as you stood in front of the large building. You really meant to calm your nerves but you just weren't able to brush aside your curiosities.Â
Suited up men and women stood outside the building as you walked toward the doors. One of them to your surprise held the door open for you.Â
"Thank you."
"Enjoy your trip Mrs. Dazai."
The door shut behind you as heat rushed to your face.Â
"Mrs?" You mused as your brain finished. You continued to the receptionists desk as the image of that fool pranced around your mind. A small grin rested on your face seeing him jump around room to room, person to person with your picture.Â
'Look at my wife!'Â
Asking for your 'husband' you made your way to his office. During the elevator ride up you thought about what it would be like to actually marry the man. Your days always filled with adventure.Â
The doors opened to a long empty corridor. You heard only the sound of your shoes and the fabric on your thighs rubbing together.Â
You stared out at the beautiful day taking in how warm and sunny it was. Maybe you'd bully him into taking you on a date.Â
Dazai always had a reason for his actions, maybe you pushed too far. You couldn't wait to see his face to say you loved him and you were sorry. Sliding your hands in your pockets a smile spread across your face and your heart sung.Â
But then you saw him.
"Osa...Osa!"
You tried to breathe, make your voice stronger.Â
You weren't sure where your mind went as the scream built in your throat. At first you hadn't realized...but then his bandage unraveled and his deep brown eyes met yours for a moment a second and you could've sworn you felt your heart burst as he fell. A tucked away thought that you'd always feared finally came true.Â
You wrote for days.Â
Blueprints. Drafts. Editing. More drafts. Copies. Then finalized your work onto a page.Â
When you awoke in your new world you were certain your days of hurt would be over. All you had to do was find him. So you searched and stumbled upon a coffee shop.Â
You slipped above the stairs without alerting anyone.Â
Your heart responded to familiar laughter, it made you walk faster brushing past someone.
"Hey!" A distraction you ignored and pushed forward throwing open doors.
"You're not suppose to be in hereâ" You could faintly feel their hand try to grab you by the arm.Â
"What the hell? Hey!"
You finally threw open the door he stood behind. A room in disarray, paperwork fluttering around him and his tan coat as the sunset in the distance. Although you were facing his back you could tell he was grinning at the chaos around him.Â
Seeing him again wedged your heart in your throat. Your voice once again faltered, his name fell from your lips as a whisper. It felt like too long since you'd last saw him, nearly moments ago you were cooped up in your room writing to see him again.Â
Momentary bliss was destroyed when arms scooped you up pulling you into a frenzy.Â
"I've been calling for you throughout the hallway! You can't be up here." Blonde hair floated into your vision as you struggled against him thrusting your body forward and hanging onto the door frame.Â
"Dazai you suicidal bastard when I get my hands on youâ"
Osamu's head snapped toward the sound of your voice, the smile he dawned earlier slipping as he recognized you. He'd barely been able to piece together your name in his brain as distant memories of your lives together haunted him.Â
You reached for the wooden beam above the doorframe hoisting your body for your legs momentum and throwing them back to land into Kunikida's gut. Weakening his grip you slipped from his arms releasing the beam and stormed up to the glowing man before you.Â
Without wasting time you pulled his body close grabbing him by his collar. The tan coat felt different on his body compared to his darker attire.Â
And his eyes. God, his eyes. You'd never seen both before one had always been enough. But being here seeing light simmering in his deep brown eyes unravelled something in you. You were happy to see him, it finally brought you peace, yet you were also pissed beyond words you couldn't find.Â
While you sat in your home writing you hadn't prepared what you'd say to him. You hadn't even thought about the raw emotions you'd have spilling out, the tears you failed to fight.Â
Seeing you like this broke him, he hadn't planned to find you againÂ
"You said you weren't going anywhere, you swore! You never lie Dazai at least not to me! Why? Why? Why?!"
Dazai had loved you many times, but he wasn't sure how he messed up so badly. Well he did, he just refused to believe it. This wasn't his first time writing in the book, but this was his first time seeing your heartbreak. In every timeline he'd created for you he never lived long enough to see the aftermath. He'd never even gotten to the level of being with you, thinking staying afar would be safer, smarter.
Although he countlessly told himself this he always got closer, intertwining himself in your life. Despite his ability Osamu was still human, and humans made mistakes. He couldn't help it, he desperately missed you in his world. He hadn't held you in years, kissed you, heard you, all he'd been able to do was place flowers on your grave.
Only hearing his own voice, holding himself, missing your touch.Â
Osamu had met you years before his mafia life. You'd survived in the slums together by outsmarting and stealing from on goers. Today you managed to pickpocket the wrong one.Â
"I don't feel too fondly about little pests as yourselves touching me. Unless of course it were my dear Elise." He spoke calmly without a care in the world as he brought a foot down hard onto your abdomen. Your body salivated from the pain allowing you to cough up only that. He dug his heel into you as he grabbed Dazai by the throat.Â
"Now which one of you insects has it?"Â
You squirmed under the weight as Dazai observed keeping his one eyed gaze hard.Â
"Well boy?" Mori tore his eyes from Dazai to you as you writhed beneath him.Â
"Doesn't seem like your friend can take much moreâ" Mori looked back only to quickly release the dangling boy. He narrowly missed a golden metallic butterfly. Quick on his feet Dazai swooped low kicking the man off you. You scrambled toward him both of you bolting out the bright lit alleyway.
You huffed and puffed as you leant over, your lungs and body screaming for air.Â
"Let's stay away from that area for awhile." Dazai murmured just as out of breath as you were.Â
"You don't have to tell me twice..who even was that guy? I mean who strangles kids!?" Despite being in the wrong yourself he could've defended himself some other way. There's no need to go murdering children.Â
"You ignored me only to not know who we were stealing from?" Dazai was as pissed as a fifteen year old could be.Â
"I didn't hear you! He looked like an easy mark!"Â
"(Y/n), you're the easy mark! His wanted posters are literally everywhere he's from the Port!"Â
You ignored the remark he made given your mistake it was justified.Â
"Then why didn't you let me take him on? The mafia sucks and you know how my ability works I could've won easy."Â
Dazai opened and closed his mouth completely clamping his mouth shut at his reasoning being ridiculous. He couldn't even lie, not to you, never.Â
"Because."
"Becauseee?" You annoyingly nudged at his feet. Dazai turned away from you leaving his bandaged side to your sight.Â
"Osamu? Because what?"Â
This was the truth even if it was partial.Â
"Because...dumb old guys focus more on hurting you than me, so it leaves a clear opening to land a hit."
You stared at him void of any emotion.
"What?" He still refused to look at you, but he felt your stare.
"That didn't answer my question."Â
Startled he looked at you with red flush on his face and brown eyes bubbling with panic. A funny contrast compared to his usual teasing and stoic personality.Â
"I'm suppose toâ Iâyou!" Dazai placed his hands on his face and let out a muffled scream.Â
"Do you know what the Mafia is?" Dazai drug his hands across his face as you gave an answer. In his eyes you saw that something wasn't right.Â
Barely a second later Dazai had shot toward you crashing your bodies together onto the dirt. As your head hit the ground a giant syringe stuck into the spot Dazai had been.Â
"If you're curious, I could show you the definition." You looked in horror as the man you robbed earlier approached you.Â
Osamu held you close with a scowl on his face dissipating his earlier fluttering emotions.Â
"Join me and maybe I'll spare you the punishment of trying to embarrass me."
A rumbling filled the heated room from the bees residing in it. You opened a window to clear the suffocating feeling. You didn't know how Dazai wore that dark long trench coat when you work together. He should've been hot enough with the bandages on.Â
Pulling away from the window you decided to check on your colony's productivity. Lazily stepping toward an angry bee covered corpse you dug into his mouth to retrieve a blood filled honeycomb. Your signature. Your eyes lingered over your work that you'd brutally honed for three years. Crystals gleamed within each hexagonal shape indicating the sweetness.Â
Your sights peered over to Dazai who'd been using the torture method on the aspiring new port mafia's boss. In other words a fake using the actual Port's name in vain. Dazai had still been punching the man and you wondered if he'd ever be done.Â
"I'm bored Osamu."Â
His dark brown eyes met yours a deep void that barely clung to light.Â
"Then come over here and finish him off."Â
He pulled away as you approached him shaking off the blood on his fist and wiping the rest on his coat. Rolling your eyes you yanked open the boss' mouth and placed the honeycomb made from his deceased partner and placed it. You patted the gang members head to hush him.Â
"Be a good boy and don't spit it out. The bees will follow wherever the comb is."
The boss teared up, maybe from pain, maybe from remorse, or from enjoying the sweet treat you left. You didn't really care. The job was done.Â
"Don't take us sparing you as a change of heart, we just need you alive for the papers, m'kay sport?"
He had the nerve to cry.Â
The both of you turned away, Dazai slipped an arm around your waist as you left the building.Â
"Fucking Port Mafia wannabe."Â
The walk most of the way back was long..for Dazai at least.��
"Dammit Chuuya's right you are a waste of bandages!"Â
Dazai avoided looking at you, which was easy for him.Â
"I didn't do anything wrong!" He whined denying your complaints.Â
"Nothing wrong? You dropped me!" You pushed the lanky eighteen year old onto the grass. You hadn't expected him to pull you down with him. You shrieked as you tumbled down the hill with him. Your limbs intermingled with Dazai's as well as your laughter.Â
"I don't scream like that!" You snickered.Â
Dazai mimicked you once more sending both of you into fits of laughter.Â
"Stop!" You laughed harder to the point were it hurt to even breathe.Â
"It's exactly how you sound!" Tears flooded Dazai's eyes as he held his stomach. It hurt from the laughter so did his heart as he watched you.Â
Hair a mess, clothes tussled and blood stained from earliers fight. His heart caught in his throat from how beautiful he found you in the nightlight. He sat up fast feeling dizzy.Â
You continued to laugh until you realized you'd been laughing alone. You breathed out, "Osamu?"Â
He'd sat up and looked toward the sky. You could barely see his face. Following his lead you also sat up leaning your body against his.Â
"Belladonna." He turned toward you leaning closer making your face burn.Â
"Is something wrong?" You whispered.
"It's just will you..." Dazai's face shyly lowered to your shoulder, "will you do a double suicide with me?"
Your rising blood pressure rose higher switching from nervousness to anger. You thought he'd been asking you something different. As playfully as you could you shoved him off you.
"No idiot and stop calling me by that stupid flower!"Â
He looked at you with puppy eyes.
"So you won't kill yourself with me?"Â
"Is there a bandaged squeezing your brain? No!" You stood up even more pissed as you blinked back tears. It frustrates you more that you were upset about this. Every time it felt like he was toying with you.Â
"How about I go finish the report and I see you tomorrow Dazai? It's late and I just want to knock this out."Â
"Why the formalities (Y/n)? Did I make you upset?" Dazai joined you standing, towering over you with a smirk. You turned away from him fighting hot tears and a tightness in your chest.Â
"I'm gonna head back."
You peeled away from him miserably trudging up the grassy hill. Dazai followed behind you hands in his coat pockets. Walking ahead gave you time to cool and brush off negative thoughts.Â
"(Y/n)?"
You paused in your steps taking a breath in before turning to him. He stood paces away from you hands now at his sides fidgeting as he balled them up.Â
"Is something wrong?"Â
A simple question. Simple enough to make the floodgates pour. Enough to have Dazai bolting toward you.Â
A few droplets wiped away bloody grim off your face. Dazai's calloused hand held your cheek, his thumb smeared stray tears as he whispered. The street light above you flickered on and the sight of him, the proximity made your chest hurt.Â
"Hey, what's wrong?"
You slapped the hand away.Â
"You're what's wrong! I don't get you! I justâ"
You buried your face in your hands with a sigh. You felt small in this moment, vulnerable.Â
"You're so frustrating look Iâ" You slide your hands off your face. Looking him in the eye you started over.Â
"I like you a lot. I don't understand if you like me back because you're always teasing me. Getting my hopes up and then stepping all over them like some game! It's irritating just give me a hint anything!"
He'd clumsily crashed his lips into yours having zero prior experience besides his pillow. He wished Chuuya had taken up his offer on practicing because God was he nervous. You were soft and bittersweet against his lips despite how rigid you were.Â
'Fuck, wait.'
Dazai pulled away from you. He shouldn't have done that this wasn't some fairy tale this was real life. Yet when he opened his eyes he saw yours shut tight, face flushed and hands squeezing at your uniform.Â
You peeked an eye open with a pout on your face.Â
"Why'd you stop?"Â
That night something you'd always cherish was the way his eyes shimmered. Pupils blown out wide and a bright light creeping through his eye while he stared at you with a wide grin.Â
"You're stiff as a wall."
You'd blush harder if you could.Â
"You're awful you know that, Dazai?"
"Osamu." He leaned closer to your face.
"What?"Â
"When you're happy, mad, or angry even with me call my name. We've known each other for too long, but it's alright we'll have more than enough time to practice."
You tried his name again, it felt differently with your newfound relationship.
"Osamu."
"Good, now we can practice those kissing skills."Â
You knocked him upside the pole.
"See you at the base, while you're up there plan a date for us tomorrow. We're taking the day off."
You weren't going to make it. You knew that even with Dazai blasting his way through members it was obvious.Â
Your focus had been occupied with more than enough between taking fire and bringing swarms over the men. Although you were busy your instinct had you peek at Dazai. You were right, it was a shame that he'd always been your weakness. Two members had eyes on him both taking fire as he returned shots. A third member crept behind him. Without a clear shot you leapt out of cover sure you'd gotten everyone.Â
"Osamu! Watch out!" You fired two shots into the members skull and they fell.
Dazai turned toward the sudden disturbance as he hid behind his cover. As he ducked away to reload he'd seen you get shot three times in the chest. To his horror he'd seen his targets change their aim to you. In response to this the bees you deployed were further angered planning new hives in the two remaining.Â
Dazai rushed over dropping to your body in a heartbeat. Pulling off his jacket he pressed it onto you to stop the bleeding wound. The fabric didn't help. You were choking. Gargling up words as you bled out.Â
"(Y/n)..no hey..look at me, look at me."
You saw the panic in his eyes, but remained calm. Everything was fine, he was safe.Â
Blood filled your mouth and pooled out of it as you struggled to speak. You reached for his face cupping the bandages instead of flesh.Â
"O...s...a? Os...am....u?" Your body seized still from the pain grabbing a hold of the bandages and pulled. If your heart hadn't been broken already the organ broke at the sight of both his eyes. As you saw yourself dying you watched that light you loved fade alongside you. Tears rushed to your eyes as Dazai turned to a creak at the door.Â
A file of members barged in. You could see Dazai scream as he fired at them. Despite how close he was you could no longer hear his screaming nor the ricochet of the guns.Â
But you could feel his tears on your body as he fought for you as you quickly drifted to a permanent slumber.Â
Soon after Dazai quit the mafia. There was no longer any point to continue protecting you.Â
He'd already failed.
Years passed.Â
He'd turned 19.Â
        Then 20,
          Then 21,
             Than 22 without you.Â
And every year he found himself feeling eighteen again for four years. Cold and alone missing you.Â
Until he found it. The very thing Fyodor had destroyed the world with.Â
The Book.Â
He shaped and molded worlds for you to live in. Worlds where he could see you happy. A world where he could see you safe. Never again hungry scraping up dirt in the slums. He could never put you through that again. Dazai originally wrote to see you from a distance and then he left.Â
The first time he'd done so he came back to this world without you again feeling empty. He picked up a pen again to see you then disappeared.Â
But then he bumped into you, his mistake really he shouldn't have gotten too close. Months of seeing you from afar had him craving for more, but touching you gave him butterflies. A sudden thrill he'd missed for yearsâhe caught himself before the rollercoaster of emotions went any further and once again disappeared.Â
Now?Â
Being away from you for so long made him restless.Â
So he created a world where he could fall in love with you all over again. Every world he'd made he'd kept everything that built your personality, especially you're cleverness. The very thing that led you worlds to his, something he hadn't even planned.Â
The only two aware of it should still be in that book.Â
Akutagawa and Atsushi.Â
So how?
"Osamu!" You pulled him worlds away back to his own and he breathed.Â
"You have nothing to say? Since you're so quiet I'll say what I've got on my mind bastard."Â
You opened your mouth to yell at him, but he'd shut you up with a kiss.Â
And he was eighteen with you again. Having his first kiss under a dim flickering streetlight, stealing bread from bakeries, taking out targets, going on dates. He was forever eighteen every time he kissed you.Â
But this time was special because he was eighteen and his life finally moved forward.Â
Bonus: Kunikida grumbling as he picks up and reorganizes the papers surrounding the two of you.Â
Extra bonus: You're absolutely terrified of Atsushi he's literally known in your world for being a murderer?? Since he's a cat and cats are scared of water you throw a lot of water on him the first day, and then adopt him.
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