honeyraven

[honeyraven]

Sir please I’m just trying to get my evening power supply. Why do you act like you know what happened to me today!!

Girls/Guys/TheyThems…. Why did I dream that Zayne had relations with another woman and I ran away and cried about it and Sylus comforted me. I have got to stop playing this game. (I literally bought a jade bracelet yesterday because it reminded me of Zayne)

[honeyraven]

When I opened the game to do my dailys guess who was in the café.

GO AWAY CHEATER

Girls/Guys/TheyThems…. Why did I dream that Zayne had relations with another woman and I ran away and cried about it and Sylus comforted me. I have got to stop playing this game. (I literally bought a jade bracelet yesterday because it reminded me of Zayne)

[honeyraven]

Illustration by Sophie Lucido Johnson

[honeyraven]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[honeyraven]

my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight

[honeyraven]

all public transport should be free unconditionally and I'm TIREDDD of pretending this is a radical idea

[honeyraven]

btw if you’re fat and your partner doesn’t love you wholeheartedly, if they’re attracted to you “despite” your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, you’re allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you don’t have to settle i fucking promise.

[honeyraven]

image i am in love with

[honeyraven]

today was single handedly the best day of my life. i caught a cop stealing from the store i work at

[honeyraven]

Girls/Guys/TheyThems…. Why did I dream that Zayne had relations with another woman and I ran away and cried about it and Sylus comforted me. I have got to stop playing this game. (I literally bought a jade bracelet yesterday because it reminded me of Zayne)

[honeyraven]

Well those are allllmost done

[honeyraven]

save a cow ride a boy or what um save a uh ride a horse no its save a uhh guys who we saving

[honeyraven]

Feeding the Neighbors Masterlist

Meet Caleb...

The aerospace engineer major who canoodles as a private chef on his downtime. His favorite past time is experimenting with new flavors and picking your brain as the residential food scientist, aspiring recipe developer.

Meet Sylus...

The nepo baby of a huge offshore tech conglomerate no one knows the name of. His favorite past time is keeping a clean tight ship during monthly supper clubs (and annoying you). Somehow keeps everyone fed when they're one step away from death's door.

Meet Zayne...

The med student growing increasingly worried about everyone's lack of balanced meals (especially Xavier's, who subsists off of instant ramen and meat skewers). Occasionally cares for underclassmen at the university clinic and is often relegated to revive the most wasted (or sick) residents in the apartment complex.

Meet Xavier...

The English Lit major who dedicates an entire room towards anthropological texts dating back to the Sumerian Era. An absolute atrocity in the kitchen (banned for life). Some speculate those texts should really be preserved in a museum somewhere...

Meet Rafayel...

The walking artistic catastrophe who permanently has paint embedded under his nails. Others have tried to recommend mani pedi services, only for his immaculate cuticles to be stained by a homemade pigment he's sourced abroad. Becomes the sushi master who hosts weekly sushi nights (don't worry, he hasn't killed anyone from lead or cadmium poisoning yet).

Apt 1 : Sylus | Caleb

Caleb | Prelude

Apt 2: Zayne | Xavier

Apt 3: Rafayel

Apt 4: You

coming soon...

[honeyraven]

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

[honeyraven]

While making dinner tonight, I very very fleetingly, but very seriously and legitimately thought “I should watch Goncharov tonight”

And then I Remembered.

[honeyraven]

[honeyraven]