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Alex Horne wins a Legend of Lockdown Chortle Award

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Series 16 Outtakes

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Can you tell me a bit about how you actually put the tasks together?

The Sarah O'Connell Show interview

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Taskmaster Mythos

aka why yes, I’ve watched this show more than once

Alex stays busy by doing Greg’s laundry, watering his plants, and cleaning his legs

Every Christmas Greg and Alex play “Conceal the Pineapple”

Greg occasionally lets Alex wash his clothes in the washing machine

Alex loves his wife and Greg equally

Greg told Alex to shave off his beard and then to grow it back because he didn’t like it

Sitting next to Greg makes Alex feel safe

Greg would be Alex’s cutest thing

Greg took Alex camping and kept getting him to feel what was in his sleeping bag

When they’re at home Alex is only allowed to move around like a snake

Greg makes Alex clean himself like a massive cat

Greg had Alex on a No Solids or Liquids diet for four months

Every morning for an hour and against his will, Greg lets Alex take the dry skin off his feet and gives him a cuddle

Alex’s father was a muffin man

Alex brushes his teeth with Primula Cheese

Alex has a chest tattoo that reads: “When a bird is in a tree and the tree is chopped down, the woodsman has moved the bird”

Alex isn’t allowed a catch phrase

Alex misses his children

Greg loves to see Alex physically punished

Alex’s children call him “Little Alex Horne” and call Greg “daddy”

Alex kisses Greg’s portrait every day while wearing his little trilby

It’s feasible that watching Greg sleep would make Alex sexually aroused

Alex got a sudoku grid tattooed on his tummy, as Greg asked

Alex genuinely wishes he was Greg’s son

Alex sometimes wishes he could distill Greg and pop him in a little bottle around his neck

Alex is always mentally preparing Greg’s next meal

According to Alex, his most exciting thing beginning with “G” is Greg’s special spot

Alex usually wears pink underwear

It takes Alex 12 minutes and 51 seconds to prepare Greg’s bed in the evening

It takes 9 minutes and 34 seconds for Alex to wake Greg with his little kisses

Greg makes Alex tie himself up before going to bed and unties him in the morning

Greg has shown Alex all of his see-through clothes

Alex has exactly 30% fewer bones than the average person

Alex comes to work with his sandwiches cut into fingers because he thinks they “taste better”

It takes Alex 19 minutes and 32 seconds to fully clean Greg

Greg’s bedtime routine involves three aubergines

Naked, Alex looks like a weird ill monkey

Seeing Alex genuinely distressed gives Greg a weird happy feeling in his tummy

Greg gave Alex a phone a couple of months back and all he did was download 600 pictures of muscular women

Alex once told Greg that at some point nearly every day he cries

Fishnet stockings make Alex sexually aroused

Alex agrees that Greg is a handsome man

Much like a Roman emperor, Greg has bathed in asses’ milk and had vigorous sexual liaisons with his personal assistant

Alex collects teapots that look like cottages

Alex likes gentle films, gentle music, and to be held by big strong arms

Statistics are Alex’s foreplay and spreadsheets his post-coital cigarette

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alexpocalypse rainbow

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Frankie Boyle and Ivo Graham in TASKMASTER: Series 15

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gregs off menu may be the perfect podcast episode

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stop getting so obsessed with fictional dudes like get real. start downloading millions of images of real men with families

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Alex in the teddy bear pile is a commentary on how he is one of greg's toys

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Greg's absolutely adorable when he gets embarrassed reading out his intro

S16E03 outtake & S17E04

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all the information is on the task

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In the Bleak Midwinter

Merry Christmas everybody!

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principle once again has proven itself with john robins

its kindof crazy how bulletproof the taskmaster format is in the way it can make me like anyone. i came into s15 with a slight bias/dislike of frankie boyle after casually browsing his wikipedia controversy stem but i came out of it with him as my second favorite contestent after mae

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Alex: Do you find, Jenny, when you meet Greg you're still surprised by how tall he is, even though you've met him many times? Jenny: Yeah, and I go into sort of hysterical girlish giggling thing... Alex: So do I! Jenny: There's something that happens when Greg's... He's terribly charismatic. And I sort of end up going [giggles]. Alex: Yeah.

Alex Horne on Taskmaster: The People's Podcast [x]

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(id: a photo of the comedian David Mitchell on Would I Lie To You, looking off-camera with a slightly unhappy expression. A tumblr post by sul1engirl has been overlaid, reading "oh you hate me? you see my big beautiful sad brown eyes and you're gonna hate me?")

thank you for the photo, @littlealexhorne!

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yall dont understand how badly i need him,,, i NEEED HIM