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just a little higher, my king!

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It's so funny that Luo Binghe asks for love advice and Mobei is the first to pipe up with "beat him three times a day"

which definitely got all the other demons in the room thinking: "and how's that working out for you Lord Desperate To Get Fucked By Your Servant"

Only to get shocked when Shang Qinghua advises Junshang to "be pathetic"

Like imagine watching your colleague fail to land a date with his assistant for forever only for the assistant to reveal he's being trying to land a date with your colleague this whole time

They're so stupid

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I like to think the concept of Mobei Jun enjoying Shang Qinghua’s verbal rants ISN’T because MBJ isn’t thinking anything himself but is in fact Overthinking Everything. This man has been under constant threat from nearby sources his entire life. It’s probably pretty nice to hear this little hamster man beside him say all of his worries out loud and others that maybe he hadn’t considered yet and then Immediately find a way to counteract them.

Like first of all, the beautiful feeling of someone else ALSO being like ‘okay well maybe the fucking chandelier has been sabotaged to fall at the exact right time, has anyone planned for that??’ because MBJ’s been thinking it but one must also consider the optics of being a demon going around just attacking light sources, especially since he’s already destroyed three of them today, and being seen as afraid in general is Not a Great Look for survival and maintaining power.

But then SQH KEEPS talking and it’s all ‘and maybe it will explode in a poisonous gas that there’s only one antidote for god it’s a good thing cucumber-bro remembered that plotline and we were able to grab the Special Antidote Plant before this became a fucking issue for me to deal with on top of seating arrangements’ and MBJ hadn’t even considered the poisonous gas angle yet but that’s what he keeps this human around for. Validation and immediate escalation all tied up with Results. You can’t even say SQH is hyper cautious either because literally every time he starts mumbling about some insanely complicated potential sabotage it happens like five minutes later.

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From Writer To Concubine (WIP)

I don't know if I'm ever going to finish this, so I've decided to post what I've written so far. My first MoShang fic!

Summary: In which Shang Qinghua is forced to wear drag by demon scammers.

Honestly, when Shang Qinghua realized he had been reborn into a fictional world, he was excited. There wasn’t much to do as a newborn baby, so he spent his time wondering what kind of world he had been born into. Maybe it was one of those sci-fi fantasy mashups where cultivators rode mecha-swords and had robot servants? That… didn’t seem likely. Perhaps he had been born the son of a powerful and wealthy emperor? Nope. Definitely not. His parents wore plain-looking robes and often talked about how little profit their shop was making. Either way, he had hoped that whatever world he had been transported to at least allowed him to live comfortably. He did, for a bit; he had an easy enough childhood, (although he very quickly learned that some shady business practices were the only thing keeping his parent’s shop afloat.) and life in his small village was decent. Until a very fateful day. Shang Qinghua had just turned 14 when his parents were having their usual talk about his future. “Don’t you want him to take over the shop?” His mother asked. “He can do better than that, our son is smart.” His father may have sounded proud, but Shang Qinghua knew that this was some sort of scheme he was putting on. “Isn’t that right?” His father patted his back, “You’ll get a good job so you can take care of your poor old parents.” There it was. When it came to his father it was always about money and profit. Shang Qinghua shrugged, giving a fake smile. “Of course I will!” He wouldn’t. Obviously he wouldn’t let his parents die or fall horribly ill, but he hated the idea of having his father leech off whatever success he managed to scrounge up. “Ah, that reminds me.” His father suddenly said. “Cang Qiong sect is accepting new disciples.” Shang Qinghua froze. Okay, maybe he should’ve expected this. He was named Shang Qinghua for goodness sake! But he had assumed it was a coincidence, that name could easily be a common one in this world! He laughed nervously. “I don’t think I’m smart enough for such a prestigious sect-” “Huh? What did you say? We’ll visit tomorrow.” His father said, shutting down any further conversation. That day, Shang Qinghua realized he had been born into his own gimmicky stallion novel.

      ⬥

Or maybe not…? Shang Qinghua was now an outer disciple of An Ding peak, and he had spent every single day dreading his inevitable meeting with Mobei Jun. Except, it hadn’t happened yet. Surely it was supposed to happen by now? He never specified an exact age that the OG Shang Qinghua had met and began working for Mobei Jun, but he was now an adult and he had not seen hide nor hair of the ice demon. As he loaded up a wagon with heavy crates he felt some hope swell in his chest. This must be an alternative version of PIDW where Shang Qinghua never meets Mobei Jun and gets to live out his days doing boring yet mildly fulfilling work at An Ding! He thought. He lifted another crate from the pile the other disciples had left for him. They were probably at some inn drinking again. 

“Lazy bastards.” He mumbled under his breath. They might want to slack off, but he had things to do back home! He thought about the new novel he had bought with his meager savings. It was a new one from an author he quite enjoyed. Due to the novel’s… uh.. content however, he wasn’t able to bring it on this mission. He sighed, wiping his forehead with the back of his arm as he debated whether to take a break or finish loading up the last few crates. 

“Excuse me, young miss…” A voice trawled behind him. Miss…? He turned around, but before he could see the owner of the strange voice, he was out cold. 

“....wh…… mean?....”

“.....left?!...” 

“What do you mean you lost the concubine?!!” 

Shang Qinghua was roused from his sleep by a frankly whiny sounding voice. He tried to gather his bearings. He was somewhere dark, his arms and legs bound. He could also feel that some sort of rag had been shoved into his mouth. The voices outside sounded close. 

“It wasn’t my fault! How was I supposed to know she could pick locks?!” This voice was much closer to him than the other one. 

“Elder Frost Tooth is going to have our heads for this.” A third, alluring voice hissed. 

“Don’t worry! I found a replacement!”

There was some shuffling before Shang Qinghua was blinded by a bright light. When his eyes adjusted, he realized that he was in a wooden cage with three demons standing outside of it. He recognized the fox-headed demon standing closest to him as the owner of the strange voice, the one who knocked him out. A second darker-colored fox demon stood further away, peeking out from behind a tall humanoid demon covered in scales. That one must’ve been the leader, he deduced. Said demon leaned forward, squinting at Shang Qinghua. 

“That’s a man.” They said with barely repressed rage. 

“It is?!” The fox demon squeaked, scrambling around to look into the cage. The scaled demon then grabbed the fox demon by the ear, dragging him close. They whispered something to him and he squeaked out a response Shang Qinghua couldn’t hear. All three demons began speaking in hushed whispers, seemingly arguing about something. He took this time to plan his escape route. He didn’t have his sword with him, but the restraints felt loose enough to wiggle out of. 

The demons suddenly broke apart from their huddle, interrupting his wiggling. 

“W-we can work with this..” The darker fox demon wrung his hands nervously, “Great master Silver Scale is quite accomplished with makeup after all.” 

The scaled demon made a thoughtful, haughty noise. “That is true.” If Shang Qinghua could’ve let out an exacerbated sigh, he would’ve. The arrogant, lofty types always annoyed him. So much so that he barely registered what the demons were talking about until the lighter fox demon giggled devilishly. 

“Don’t worry young master, we’ll turn you into the most beautiful mistress!” 

Wait, what? 

Shang Qinghua’s muffled protests went unheard as the demons dragged him out of the cage towards a fancy-looking chest overflowing with finery. 

And so, Great Master Airplane was dressed in demon drag. Expensive jewels weighed on his neck and he could barely walk in the long dress he had been forced into. The demons had even painted some blue scales on his face. They were currently trudging through snow towards some sort of large building. The surroundings looked familiar, but he couldn’t figure out exactly where he remembered them from. As they reached the front of the building he noticed that it was actually some sort of palace. 

Ice… Palace..? 

Oh no. 

Shang Qinghua made a run for it. There was no way he was about to walk into Mobei Jun’s palace dressed like a sultry temptress! Fate was not kind to him, however, as his feet slipped on a patch of ice. The scaled demon hoisted him up by his arm. 

“Where are you going, sister?” They hissed and a nearby group of demons gave the two of them a confused look. “Uh, she’s just nervous.” They assured the demons with a forced smile. 

That smile dropped as they turned back to Shang Qinghua. “Don’t mess this up for us, or I’ll spill your guts.” he flinched as they growled into his ear.  

The palace was practically overflowing with demons carrying fine foods and exotic riches. It must’ve been some sort of tribute day. He had remembered writing about something similar in PIDW: a day where demons from all over had showered Luo Binghe in jewels, weapons, and more importantly, beautiful women. Unfortunately for Shang Qinghua, he was not a beautiful woman. 

“Won’t the Mobei Jun kill us once he finds out our concubine is a man?” The lighter fox demon whispered to Silver Scale as he glanced around nervously. 

“That’s why we’ll take the dowry and be gone long before he finds out.” They then turned their gaze towards Shang Qinghua, a sly smirk on their face. “Quite unfortunate for you.” 

Fuck you, Silver Scale. I hope your tail falls off and never grows back! Shang Qinghua silently cussed out the demon. 

They were approaching the front of the line when Shang Qinghua paused. Mobei Jun was more breath-taking than Shang Qinghua could’ve ever imagined. He lounged on his throne, handsome face propped up by a strong arm. He looked bored as he accepted gift after gift. Before he knew it, Shang Qinghua’s group was at the front. Silver Scale gave him one last glare before pushing him into a bow. 

“Your Highness,” They greeted, “Our gift is most divine: a concubine to add to your harem.”

Mobei Jun has a harem? Shang Qinghua felt a pang of some bad feeling. 

Silver Scale continued, “She is of the finest bloodline the Northern Skink clan has to offer. Sure to produce only the finest heirs.” 

Talking about me like I’m a broodmare, how dare you! I created this world! Shang Qinghua’s internal tantrum prevented him from seeing the slight interest Mobei Jun showed as he leaned slightly forward. 

“However, she does not come without a price; Our clan requests a small dowry.” Silver Scale finished their spiel, the room feeling icily tense as everyone awaited Mobei Jun’s answer. 

This is where he kills us all for asking him to pay for a gift. Shang Qinghua began silently praying. Maybe next time he’d end up in a world that he didn’t write. 

“I accept.” Mobei Jun said. 

What? …What?!

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moshang au. cumplane best friends. mobei jun shen yuan’s second brother. do we understand each other

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Would love to see magical girl AU Shang Qinghua eventually figure out how to transform back… only he gets a magical girl outfit in “human” form (and maybe hamster ears)

this is for his crimes against women

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I need to know... What does Mobei Jun think of SQH's magical girl transformation????

Shang Qinghua is: a) an incredibly powerful magical conduit, b) a relentlessly clever advisor, and c) his most stalwart ally. And now he has a scantily clad humanoid form??? Someone just granted every single one of MBJ's dreams and he will be putting in THE EFFORT to stake his claim and keep any potential rivals FAR AWAY

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Modern Moshang chaos:

Mobei-Jun is convinced Shen Yuan is Shang Qinghua’s sugar daddy. Mobei-Jun desperately wants to date and fuck his assistant/secretary (SQH just does most tasks under him there isn’t even an official role anymore).

But his obstacles is this elusive ‘Peerless Cucumber’ or Shen Yuan.

Mobei-Jun first met Shang Qinghua at college where they were roommates. Shang Qinghua was not someone who could pay for such a prestigious college, even with half his education paid off by a scholarship. Mobei-Jun wasn’t one to pry, but Shang Qinghua wasn’t one to stay quiet. He eventually learned of the internet ‘friend’ who paid for half of Qinghua’s college tuition.

He is the same friend who almost single handedly paid for Shang Qinghua’s rent during his gap year where he was writing.

Mobei-Jun has not met Shen Yuan, but he needs him out of the picture. Now. Only he should be supporting Qinghua so majorly.

…Maybe he’ll throw Luo Binghe at the guy. Maybe the distraction will get both pests out of his hair for long enough to finally bag Qinghua.

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Shang Qinghua dies protecting Mobei Jun before the plot is completed, leading to a System error.

In order to reset the world and try again, the System turns Mobei Jun into User03, sending him back in time with the mission to protect Shang Qinghua.

Nothing could possibly go wrong with this!

Check out 'are you wi-fi? because I'm feeling a connection' by @darlingestenemy based on this little idea for the @moshangevents Reverse Minibang Event!! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

–Individual and Uncensored Pieces under the Cut–

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“Should we stop them?”

“Let’s wait… one more incense time.”

“Yes– Understood.”

Prompt for sandypadandyy on bluesky! For them, here I offer Husbands being distracted by their fighting drenched spouses.

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you know how some people sleep with guns or knives under their pillows for protection? KEEP YOUR KNIGHT IN YOUR BED INSTEAD!! FOR SAFETY REASONS!! THAT'S YOUR LIVING WEAPON!!!! #mylivingweapon

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Goodbye Hamsghua.... we will all remember you 👋

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40x21 ZoSan

Zoro goes back in time and falls in love with young Sanji again. He couldn’t help it. Throwback to the moment his eyes fell on Sanji at Baratie, it was love at first sight.

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I think Airplane accidentally made the Heavenly Demons incestuous.

I think it was an accident not in the sense that Airplane wouldn't potentially do it on purpose, but that he just didn't think too hard about the elements he was smashing together in this aspect of the backstory, and it'd probably occur to him if he did think about it a bit more, but he didn't get there before he lost his notes. And then after that point he was selling out so even if he subsequently thought too hard about it, he wouldn't have brought it up because much like the thing with demons eating human flesh, Heavenly Demons being hugely inbred would probably not go over well with his majority readership.

But like. Bro created this bloodline of demons whose powers tend to breed true, and yet despite the fact that they've ostensibly lived among demonkind and even ruled them for generations, they've basically died out? Also despite being incredibly powerful? There are like three total left in the world, one of whom seems to be purely Heavenly Demon in terms of ancestry, the other two being 50/50 hybrids?

The only other Heavenly Demon we hear about is Zhuzhi Lang's mom, with an implication that her and Tianlang Jun's parents just had the two kids -- one boy and one girl. No info on where those parents came from either. No other Heavenly Demon branches or notable bloodlines that seem to exist or have recently died out.

Like I'm not saying there's DEFINITELY a Targaryen situation going on with the Heavenly Demons, but... there was definitely a Targaryen situation going on with the Heavenly Demons.

But again I do think this was accidental. It's the sort of thing that happens in people's fantasy world-building all the time. Airplane wasn't thinking about the implications, he was thinking about things like giving the protagonist a cool secret bloodline, making that bloodline both rare and powerful, and so on. Which wouldn't have mattered except that then this became part of an actual world, where things have to function and make sense as well as matching the token descriptions offered.

Mostly I don't think this would have much impact on the wider story except to let Tianlang Jun offer some inappropriate commentary on the whole shizunfucker situation. Like someone eventually makes a comment about it being kind of incestuous that Luo Binghe is with Shen Qingqiu and TLJ is just like, yeah funny thing about that actually.

Also this adds an interesting layer to TLJ and his sister's backstory. They were supposed to marry each other. Instead she ran off with a snake (literally) and he eventually hooked up with a human. Both of them tried to get so far away from the arranged incestuous sibling marriage that they developed a thing for interspecies romance instead.

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WAIT WAIT WAIT in cumplane’s endless PVP style friendship there is absolutely a moment when Shen Qingqiu plays a “new composition” on his guqin and Shang Qinghua reaches a level of fury that no one could have possibly expected from him and all of the Peak Lords/gathered disciples are actually pretty upset with him because Shen Qingqiu was clearly very proud of this new song and how dare he react like that.

Meanwhile Shang Qinghua just got Rick Rolled for the first time in decades and suddenly understands how Cucumber Bro got so angry he fucking died.