horsegirlalexkralie

[horsegirlalexkralie]

Butchguy tim and genderweird lexi, try THAT ON for size

you understand me . exactly what I'm talking about

[horsegirlalexkralie]

His best looks no question

[horsegirlalexkralie]

алекс скажи чиииззз

[horsegirlalexkralie]

jay, humming to himself as he works in their safehouse: yk it really is nice to have something to do again i love a good puzzle

alex, thinking he's doing the crossword or something: haha yeah i know just what you mean

walks by like ten minutes later and jay's hunched over a shredded letter painstakingly piecing it back together so he can decode the entire thing (will need to be decoded a second time) (this makes him laugh) and slowly y y transcribe it back into his notepad to reveal some of the most personal and grisly threats alex has ever seen put to paper

[horsegirlalexkralie]

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

[horsegirlalexkralie]

hihihi!!! guy who likes your asoue au way too much here [can i give myself an alias?? can i call myself dandelion in your askbox if i send enough asks about this???]

i love your writing snippets i love. your characterizations so much they all feel so much like. themselves its painful and i love them.

the jam interaction is so. great jay is so jay i. dont know how to describe him hes jay i love him and tim is so awkward in that really tim. way also dont get me started on the stumble in that last bit of dialogue i am. so NORMAL about it also it hurts in a really?? reverse nostalgic way??? im not great with words but. reading it is like grieving in advance its painful but. really good!!!! like i know bad and horrible things will happen to them i know. there might be a series of unfortunate events maybe. i dont know there might be

thinking about the typewriter case. a lot. also thinking about alex and his comments that would be insulting enough to warrant a reaction if they. were said to anyone with more social awareness or care than jay has. also thinking about how fucking agonizing it is that an actual child has to think about the. stability of their safety enough to even consider. bludgeoning someone nonetheless what theyd be able to carry around inconspicuously enough to. do so at any point in time

its not a bad thing to protect yourself but its a bad thing to be a pre-teen to early teenager and have to worry about. or better yet prepare for. the possibility of having to kill so you can live. ow!!!!

the funeral thing hurts even. more. my personal interp is seeing how a relationship has crumbled and really cant be mended at least. not in the same way it was left in not in the same shape. it will never be the same. they will never look at each other as they did it will. never be right in the same way it. was because the past is the past and the past is dead and you cannot. bring back the dead

how does one grieve someone. who stands right in front of them?

also that entire screenshot is full of writing that is so. so so so similar to the vibes that. the books gave off youre incredibly talented at. capturing that vibe and essence

again thank you for writing these theyre. so good i hope this ask isnt too super off base im. really tired but woaw!!!! have the bestest day may you be. full of motivation and thoughts. about this au

AA HI !! welcome back thank u so much

aaa this made me so happy tyty i literally read asoue as i was first learning to read LOL and i think handler influenced my style more than anyone it is such a compliment that u think i captured the books' vibe At All

the pre-grieving. yeah. its something i think abt in regards to writing jay at all in everything hes always going to die. dead in your memory. idk if u read atwq but i definitely put him in the dashiell qwerty role on purpose esp to young tim he's a bright spot in a very miserable part of his life that is not going to last very long but that he'll think about all the time for years to come. after he's gone, in a way that feels permanent; and jay's gone, in a way that is. jam needs their own emotional reunion at some point i think jay would be really genuinely trying to get tim to accept that you can fix things from the inside/vfd works for the greater good even if the adults around them failed them. and tim is so violently betrayed that him and alex kept it secret that jay was alive. from him. just because he isn't in with the right team anymore - isn't that what jay used to say? whether someone did the right thing mattered more than their allegiances? and jay asks him, softly, if he thinks he's been doing the right thing.

they used to sit and read together. for hours if jay didn't have anyone coming in to check things out. alex called him a brilliant educator, a respected community member, and his lip twisted to finish with beloved volunteer firefighter.

jay's lack of offense at alex's lack of tact is honestly the thing that's gonna end up sticking them together like magnets to me. and all their associates dying by the time they're young adults. by the time of that typewriter case conversation i think alex has had attempts made on his life before whether or not he's actually had to get violent it is most definitely on his mind. the kralies had a tunnel under their house and were probably involved in one of the earlier smaller schisms and he's not popular at headquarters anyway for being a prick. he's very well-read and knows it. has been told if he doesn't learn to shut up he'll get killed before he gets sold for ransom.

internalized all this very normally. starts carrying a gun bc he feels normal. jay makes sure to point this out when they see each other again and ends up with it shoved somewhere reckless and against proper firearms handling training. (they took that class together, though alex didn't notice him at the time.)

it's uncomfortably easy after he comes back to fall back into their old patterns of speaking, for alex to enjoy his company until he remembers and is hit with how surreal it all is, how wrong it feels, to have finally almost gotten himself to accept jay wasn't ever going to walk back into his life and have it happen anyway. he keeps remembering the weight of jay's coffin on his shoulder. keeps wondering what was in there, if it was someone else's corpse, if it was simply weighted to make him feel like his heart was sinking out of his body and he would never be happy again.

(years later, jay will admit he heard alex's speech from inside the box, that the closed casket had been requested by the dead man himself "because i didn't think i could hold my breath that long," and he'd laid in the dark with an oxygen mask wearing his best suit. had almost died for real, because he'd been too afraid to coordinate with an associate to help dig him back out, and alex bites him until his teeth leave imprints and makes him promise to tell him, if he ever needs to die again. is too afraid to demand the other thing.)

aa tysm for sending asks abt this au i love talking abt it so much i will hopefully have some more actual writing to share soon

[horsegirlalexkralie]

Commissioning a sculpture of your lifelong enemy you're in love with in a stabbing position. So you can place yourself against his blade whenever you wish. Only half the blade is there so you can pretend the rest is in your heart.

[horsegirlalexkralie]

hi i dont really. interact with your posts because im scared but. i read them a lot and im a huge asoue fan and. i am absolutely tearing up your asoue au posts with my teeth please. write more please write so much more i will consume all of it that au is something i didnt know i needed. but i am now its biggest fan if gerard of horsegirlalexkralie fame's asoue au has one fan then im there if gerard of horsegirlalexkralie fame's asoue au has no fans then i am DEAD but yeah i love. what youve got going on here i need it in my very being to change me as a person in psychologically horrifying and vaguely homoerotic ways

AAA THANK YOU

u have no idea how much this means omg i have been literally thinking abt them all day. for some reason it has me in a chokehold

wrote some pre-timeskip jay interactions to get a feel for them .. alex finds him absolutely so goddamn annoying but over the course of whatever investigation theyre conducting he does at least come to respect him as a volunteer and is uhm. just so normal about him "dying". tim has split off by then but he also definitely attends the funeral from a distance ..

also wrote a bit of jaylex reunion. this will get workshopped i just Had to get it out theyre working the same trail at this point and are some of the only volunteers from their circle of friends still fighting the good fight so they end up together more often than not. fighting constantly. alex getting him alone and just suddenly lunging for him and pulling his pantleg up and laugh-crying to see he has had the tattoo this whole time and there was no reason to suspect him then but now - now it's back to blind trust again bc tim's walking around with the same mark collecting information for their enemies.

i had the thought that maybe instead of utilizing the entire kit tim has just altered a mask at some point.. perhaps to wear to a party.. and wears it when he needs to be anonymous years later. maybe knocks the absolute wind out of alex down the barrel of a gun when he asks him where he got that thing and tim asks if he really doesn't remember the ball. bc alex did remember. and that lends to kind of a funny brim dynamic to me bc brian enjoys the whole process of disguise he still wanted to be an actor in this au and hes constantly bugging tim abt not putting any effort in.

brian and jay were friendly before brian found out he was involved with vfd and had a blood running cold smiling at him moment and committed himself to stalking him when he joins up as the schism's building. maybe stalked him a little too hard. alex too. horny creepy telegrams at their safehouses. lashing out with bitterness and betrayal thats so pointed it makes his disguise useless. goading tim into lighting fires with him, trying to scare young people away from pursuing volunteer work. moves back to his hometown for a bit and tries to cozy up to the inhumane society or whatever's left of them and steals their codes and equipment. posts up and makes himself a spooky story for a while and haunts tim into coming with him. i think alex would blame tim for jay's death automatically bc obviously the other side did it and it would hang over all of their interactions. bc to tim he really is dead bc brian can't find anything and it's driving him a little crazy.

post jay reappearing i think alex would be . a lot more ashamed and skittish every time they run into each other until tim finally catches a glimpse of him and loses it on alex this time, because they used to be on the same side - that was child abuse, you can't hold a grudge against me for leaving it, you can't keep jay being alive a fucking secret he was my actual friend - honestly ive thought abt tim getting kidnapped for a time when theyre young or smthn but his chaperone keeping it from everyone bc it was a hostage exchange or something else questionable that indicates how little vfd actually values child volunteers so tim pulls away and leaves as soon as there's an opportunity. god i had a whole rant in mind where tim just absolutely goes off on him finally after years of trying to bite his tongue and not be a dick as kids. bc he's been raised in it same as alex they've had a completely improper education does he think anyone who's ever left has been able to find work? has had any choice but to join up with other ex-members, whether they agreed with their beliefs or not?

i'll come back when i think of more thank u so much for calling i needed to get all that out

[horsegirlalexkralie]

i love you

I LOVE YOU <33333333

[horsegirlalexkralie]

being tortured with visions of the asoue au even tho i know no one gafs a fuck abt it

[horsegirlalexkralie]

brian sends jaylex coded telegrams as often as he can. and disguises himself when he goes out but kind of badly its just a longer mustache and glasses maybe. the telegrams are just full of threats that are vaguely horny in nature. pre-schism jamlex attended a masquerade ball together and jay was a bug of some kind and tim asked them both to dance and only realized alex was alex after someone told him. alex doesnt find out until tim brings it up years later over the scene of some kind of crime and has to stop himself from literally shooting him bc he still thinks back on that night and sighs dreamily. but he needs answers. (from the boy from the ball... who made him feel so beautiful..... but thats not him anymore youve both changed)

[insane person voice] mh asoue au

[horsegirlalexkralie]

i dont think i have the steam to write the beast i want in my heart so an overview i might return to:

tim and alex are chosen volunteers at young ages (snicket ages) bc their parents were in the organization/were killed early in their lives. they came up pre-schism in a fairly orderly if unfocused era of the volunteer fire department and were tattooed pretty young.

somehow (meddling from their enemies- the schism is brewing and vfd has accrued enough scorned ex-members at this point to have beef with the wrights and kralies and try to get their sons off the path of firefighting) they both end up in the middle of nowhere with another undercover volunteer who did not complete training with them ?

jay is a year or two older (15/16 to their 13/14) and has been apprenticing in this area and immediately strikes up a friendship with tim/picks up on his rivalry with alex- they came up in the organization at the same time and tim hates the way he speaks and the books he reads and his stupid handsome face

jay works as a volunteer library assistant and makes sure to wink when he says it to tim. wears newsboy caps and sweatervests and carries a film camera everywhere. hes trying to be a detective or a journalist he hasnt decided which. hes a little flippant abt discussing vfd business in public but uses enough code its really incomprehensible to anyone who doesnt Know. to people that do, though...

alex thinks hes a menace and a double-agent and insists on seeing his tattoo very early on which just makes jay bristle and try to argue a librarian was someone who should be trusted, regardless of their membership in some secret club, as if he hadn't been dropping acronyms and pointing out the sequences of bells in the play he'd "happened" to set at alex's table- probably ends up pinning him down to check some time after the timeskip and laughing bc now it means nothing.

why havent i brought up brian? whatever theyre all hanging around this area for gets his family killed. he's involved to some degree or his parents are (maybe theyre secret firestarters) and he ends up fully dragged into it when his house burns down and he starts chasing any lead possible to find out why.

he's one of alex's only real pals in the area. his chaperone is extra neglectful and alex ends up eating with him in the coffee shop in town more often than not, and getting him to show him around. picking his brains for leads on the case.

after the schism when they're all adults brian tries to put the pieces together. understands that the volunteer fire department is the reason he is an orphan. understands that there is an organization taking shape that opposes them. buys a book of matches and a disguise kit and pledges his allegiance to villainy, thinking only of the kid with the glasses who promised him he was a noble person, that no harm would come to brian while he was here.

(he really did say that, all too serious, eyes gleaming fiercely as he nodded and brought his fist down on the table. he was tiny, shaking with the intensity of it, and as brian peers down the lens of his telescope he thinks he can see the shadow of that boy in his bastard face now. he ought to shoot him with the dart.)

jay ends up sticking hard to the cause while tim slowly becomes more and more disillusioned with everything he's experienced, rolls his pants up to stare at his ankle and wonder- how did that fire start? his parents had told him as long as he could remember not to be afraid if someone came to take him away, only to ask the coded question he'd been taught and wait for the correct response. to cover his ears, and tell himself the world was quiet here.

they grow apart over the years, with alex and jay working from opposite sides of the map to track the firestarters they feel responsible for, telling themselves it's penance, it's their duty, jay with a horrible nagging guilt about being the older volunteer, the role model, and letting him down. tim smokes now, he's seen it, tosses his butts carelessly and carries a tiny bottle of kerosene in his back pocket. has torn up a novel to use for kindling; sunk to his knees, afterward, watching it burn, burying his face in his hands.

jaylex collides eventually in some kind of comic espionage situation- crammed into the same closet for eavesdropping, stuck on the same cab ride bc they both used aliases, etc - and bitch and annoy each other into hatesex that turns into pillowtalking abt their backstory until they spool out why exactly theyve ended up here

brim see each other frequently on jobs and snip at each other - brian knows him as 'alex's friend' however true that is and picks on him for being a goody-two-shoes firefighter still and accuses him of being a traitor in front of higher-ups (who do not care)

jay is on full lemony snicket faked his death shit btw so alex also grabs him by the tie and shakes him by the shoulders when they meet up again bc it was smthn that rippled all through vfd. alex knew. alex mourned him. here he is inside this comically large vase that's still only sized for one adult man. alex is going to kill him for real. wtf.

they combine their stalking/searching efforts and end up with a full string pin bulletin board and live in the tunnels together and idk there is a reunion at the end where things are sort of answered. maybe. maybe jay just gets shot over a misunderstanding

[insane person voice] mh asoue au

[horsegirlalexkralie]

today for the gone girl au i am thinking about tims dawning horror with himself as he realizes he does in fact really want to stay independent of threats or media appearance

AAA YES NO EXACTLY

this is the crux of it to me the slow realization that he is flattered, does see the intimacy in it, is so, so thankful this beautiful intelligent woman saw through him and gave him a second chance - sees the mercy in freeing him from things with jay, the grace to make him a hero in the end, the way she saw his apology, saw his regret and believed it. he's so fucking grateful she took him back in the end it almost cancels out the boiling rage of her almost sending him to the fucking gallows.

they have a lot of crazy sex about it in the months that follow. her diary entries were made-up but the things they do after she returns couldve sold the same story even better.

[horsegirlalexkralie]

[insane person voice] mh asoue au

[horsegirlalexkralie]

first date idea we punch eachother

[horsegirlalexkralie]

watching gone girl again. good time to send me asks if you were into that

[horsegirlalexkralie]

Will you elaborate on what inspired the different relationship dynamics in your mermaid lighthouse keepers jamlex fic?

!!! aa !!! i did not see this until now but aa i loved writing that fic >_<

honestly the timlex stuff was mostly influenced by being in a ldr... the fear of letting go of someone/the possessiveness of knowing you only have a limited time on both of their ends' but mostly tim's.. i didnt realize until i re-read but its definitely heavily inspired by my actual relationship situation... jays pov on it was definitely drawing from real life times ive been interested in couples but also just generally his natural curiousity extended to a kinky extreme...... hes one of those autistic people i think thinks of himself as Slightly Inhuman anyway so it felt like a natural shift