hotchy-poo

[hotchy-poo]

Five Minutes

a/n: This is my literal first ever piece of fanfiction I've ever written so bare with me please, any and all feedback I would love. This is based off of season 3 episode 20 Lo-Fi.

Summary: The final moments of a terrorism case and too many close calls leaves the reader more shaken than usual.

GN!reader x BAU!Team, some slight Hotch x Reader, maybe Morgan x Reader if you look hard enough.

Word Count: 1.7k

cw: some swearing, discussions of death and explosions

You can hear your heart thudding in your chest, it feels like your ears are ringing but you can still clearly hear the sounds of the shoes and boots you and most of your team were wearing. Dave and Hotch had pieced it together that the profile your team had been putting together was wrong, it wasn't a trio or duo of serial killers, it was a home grown terrorism attack, and it was going to take place in a hospital in downtown New York. The hospital you and your team are currently in. Almost your entire attention is being put towards sweeping the parking lot searching for the terrorist ambulance driver.

The rest of your brain was occupied with two thoughts. 1. Where the hell is Derek Morgan and 2. That surveillance video of Kate Joyner's SUV blowing up, sending her and Hotch flying. He's behind you now, you can hear the change in his gait, his limp from the shrapnel cutting its way into his leg. You also know his face is scratched to hell and his ear is bleeding. Part of you wishes he would have sat this out due to his injuries but everyone knows he's allergic to taking care of himself.

Turning the corner, gun in hand, finger on trigger, you shake those last two thoughts from your head. All focus needs to be on this current situation. Reid nods towards the elevator and you see the dead special service agents lying there covered in blood. One of their legs in the way of the door preventing it from closing all the way.

Your attention is then drawn to a man who is sitting on the concrete floor with his legs crossed. A phone in one hand and a knife in the other. The team surrounds him, guns raised and ready. You notice his EMS uniform and know this is one of the UnSubs, the master bomber. You also notice the lack of ambulance with a bomb that would decimate this hospital and surrounding buildings. The bomber decides he won't be arrested and uses the knife to end his life, proving that he would kill and be killed for his cause.

A faint explosion is heard far in the distance as Hotch calls in that the hospital is secure. The tension could be felt in everyone's chest as they turned their heads to the sound, making eye contact with others, panic visible in their expressions. Reids phone rings and he immediately answers, only a second passing before his whole body sags with relief as he hears Morgans voice on the other side letting him know he is ok and the bomb exploded in a safe location away from the city and its residents. Relief fills your chest as you realize everyone is safe and that another case has come to an end. And while it may not have been the ending anyone wanted, it was over and you looked forward to leaving this experience in the past.

You had barely gotten enough sleep in your hotel room, expecting to have passed out from exhaustion from the events of the case, but you found yourself thinking of all of the what ifs. What if Morgan hadn't of gotten to a safe location in the ambulance, or what if he hadn't gotten out in time, what if Garcia couldn't have jammed the cell towers like she did, what if Hotch had been closer to the SUV or even inside of it. Tossing and turning all night left you quieter than usual in the morning and it was not unnoticed by your team.

Reid, Morgan, Garcia, Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi said their goodbyes and see you laters to you and Hotch outside the federal building. You offered to make the drive with the injured man and Morgan was more than happy to let you as he wanted to lay down on the flight and drink his Cristal. Keys in hand you and Hotch begin the walk to the black SUV you would be driving, subconsciously you brace for some sort of impact as you approach the vehicle and before you can try to play it off Hotchner is suddenly standing in front of you with a concerned look in his eye.

"Everything ok Agent L/N?" he asks raising his eyebrow.

You brush him off trying to step around him "yeah of course I'm fine." Hotch shuffles his feet and prevents you from walking away. "I'm just not super excited for the long drive Hotch, I'm good."

You hope that that was enough to sway him and you think is has as he lets you step around him. Just as you reach for the cars handle to throw your bag in the back, you feel his hand grasp your elbow and turn you to face him.

"You know" he begins "it's ok to be upset, what we all just went through in the past couple of days was hard and damaging, and its ok to feel conflicted, or sad, or angry." He moves his head trying to make eye contact with you but your eyes are firmly placed on the sidewalk. Knowing that if you try to explain what it is that you are feeling it might all come out as word vomit and your emotions might get the best of you.

"I'm good Hotch" you respond still not making eye contact "let's just go." You pull your arm out of his grasp before throwing yours and his bag in the back seat. Shutting the door you go to walk to the drivers side when Hotch calls your name.

"Y/N." Him saying your name doesn't leave room for you to walk away. You slowly turn to face him and you see his lips in a straight line and his eyebrows furrowed. He starts to walk towards you, his limp so prevalent and you can't keep it together anymore. Your eyes fill with tears threatening to spill over and you know that if you start to cry you won't be able to stop.

Hotch gently grabs your shoulder and sighs as he asks you again if you're ok and you can't keep your emotions and tears at bay any longer. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you try to speak.

"It's just... this case was so much... we thought we had it figured out and that we could catch them but they were always a step ahead of us" The tears keep rolling and you can't stop talking even if you wanted too. A sob breaks out of your mouth and you drop your head as your body shakes with your cries. "All I can think about is the what ifs, all I can see is that surveillance video of you being BLOWN up Hotch" You're aware that your voice is much louder than it needs to be and Hotch's ear rings and aches but he acts like it doesn't bother him. "You got flung across a street Hotch! Derek climbed into a goddamn ambulance with an explosive that would have decimated three blocks of this city at least!" Your breathing is erratic, chest falling and raising quickly. You're using your hands very expressively and Hotch grabs both of your arms to try and slow you down.

"I need you to breathe Y/N" he says but you're not listening.

"I thought you had died when I saw that video!" you sob. " And you weren't answering your phone!"

"I left it behind, I forgot about it" He responds "I didn't mean to I'm sorry" his voice is quiet and gentle.

"And then once we were in the hospital Derek took off like a madman and when the ambulance blew up I thought he was in it!" You are still almost yelling, the tears have not slowed at all, in fact they may have sped up. You keep rambling about how you thought you had lost Hotch and then how you thought you had lost Derek. Starting to stumble over your words you stop talking and just start to sob, pulling your hands up over your face.

Suddenly you're pulled into Hotch's chest, one arm wraps around the middle of your back securing you to him, and the other goes to the back of your head. You can his thumb moving on your back trying to calm you. You know your tears are staining his clothes but you can't seem to care, you also wouldn't be able to escape his hug even if you wanted to.

He holds you as you cry, not caring that you are on a busy sidewalk, ignoring peering eyes. His only concern right now is you.

"I know that this case was a lot Y/N" he begins "this case demanded a lot of us, and we were put into dangerous situations. But I'm ok" He moves his hands to grab the sides of your face and pull your head up so that you can look at each other. "Derek and I are ok, some healing time is necessary but we're alive and well."

Your cries have stopped and now you're just left with a runny nose. Sniffling you take a step out of the embrace allowing his hands to fall back to his sides. You let out a singular breathy laugh and wipe your face with your hands.

"You're right" you agree with him, Derek and Hotch are alive and that is what matters the most. "I'm still gonna kick Derek's ass for what he did."

Hotch exhales through his nose and cracks a small smile "why don't we start driving back to Quantico L/N, its a long journey ahead of us."

You nod and climb into the drivers seat of the car, immediately refusing his offer to drive. Turning the key in the ignition and plugging in the offices address into the GPS, you take one deep breath and let it out slowly as you turn on the blinker and pull out into traffic.

The car is silent for a few minutes before you decide to break it

"Hotch?" you ask. He turns his head to you, prompting you to continue, "promise me you won't tell the others that I just cried in your arms for a minute in the middle of down town New York?" You glance over at him and you see a small smirk form on his face.

"I would never" he responds. I also won't say that it was five minutes not one he thinks to himself.

a/n ok im kinda proud of this, and i hope i can articulate myself well enough, literally just watched this episode for the first time and i cried. if it sucks or you have any tips for me to write better please let me know! I really hope you enjoy it and I hope i get to make more fics hehe