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i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

[howdoyousayavocado]

It's always

"When will fanfic writers update their stories?"

And never

"Does this fanfic writer have adequate enrichment to engage in writing behaviours?"

Fanfiction writers (Scriptor fictus) are intelligent animals who need plenty of enrichment as well as encouragement! If they're stuck in poor conditions (e.g. have studies, work, have to actually write to have something written) then they require the proper enrichment to engage in more healthy behaviours, like writing. Remember, due to poor breeding and socialisation, over half of all fanfic writers suffer from low self confidence and executive dysfunction so take care of them!

Give your fanfic writers proper care. Fanfiction writers are a life long commitment.

[howdoyousayavocado]

I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!

Marcus stopped abruptly in the middle of the grass. A woman in a blue dress was already sitting on the Crisis Bench. He didn’t recognize the dress. She looked up from where she was sitting.

“Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands. “I didn’t think anyone would be over here.” He didn’t think he remembered an introduction to anyone in that dress. It was a memorable sort of a dress. “I believe I ran into your mother inside?” he ventured, because he ran into so many mothers.

“She’s not here,” she said, which was not what he wanted to hear and which he absolutely could not handle at the moment.

“Right,” he said, trying to recover, pretending as if he’d just remembered something. “Your father–”

“We haven’t met,” she interrupted. “I’m not anyone.”

“Oh thank god,” he said, abandoning propriety to collapse onto the bench, dropping his head between his knees. “Thank you.”

“Too many people?” she said sympathetically.

“I’m really bad with faces,” he admitted.

“A lot of people are,” she assured him.

He dragged his hands down his face. “I just confused a Duke with a waiter.”

She bit her lip. “As long as you aren’t rude to waiters, you should be fine,” she said.

“I wasn’t rude,” he said. “I’m never rude. It would have been better if I was rude.” He buried his face in his hands. “I tipped him,” he said, anguished, muffled by his palms. Why had he been dressed like a waiter?

She burst out laughing, loud and with her head tipped back, overwhelming the empty garden. He separated his fingers to stare at her.

“Sorry,” she hiccuped, which immediately descended back into snorts. She laughed like she was hunting for truffles.

“Thanks,” he said, though he almost did feel better. “I’m feeling very supported in my time of need.”

“There’s only one thing you can do,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes, trying to dab at them to not destroy her makeup. Reflexively, he offered her a handkerchief, which she accepted. “You have to flee the country. It’s the only way.” She checked the handkerchief for signs of smeared eyeliner. “Leave your family. Change your name. Get a new family. Never tell them your dark secret.”

“I think my old family might notice if I got a new family,” he said, now resting his chin in his hands, elbows balanced on his knees.

“That’s why you have to burn your house down,” she said matter-of-factly, now holding his handkerchief in a neat fold in her lap. “Just burn the whole thing. Everything but your favorite hat. You leave the hat on top of the ashes for your family to find. ‘This must be him’ they’ll say. 'He would never have left his favorite hat’. It’s the perfect crime. Once it’s done, you become a pig farmer. Anyone comes around asking questions, you feed them to the pigs.”

“You seem like you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” he observed. “How are your pigs?”

She looked him over sidelong. “Hungry,” she said primly.

Keep reading

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Help

I know this is a long shot, but I read a short story about Cinderella and prince charming having a conversation about being face blind. Anyone happen to have it saved somewhere?

[howdoyousayavocado]

What are your thoughts on gender neutral parenting?

This is the question I have next up. I have 30 minutes before I need to be on the Farm making kettle korn after a long, hot day yesterday of landscaping for a little side money. So here is goes My parents raised me in a sort of gender neutral way.. without awareness of it. This we the late 60's and early 70's. I still was praised for being "pretty in a dress" and told to smile because "I have such a pretty one". My mom wanted me to get perms and she always, always said when I was leaving to go anywhere, "don't be loud." (As a youngster I was very loud and outgoing. I tamed a bit as I got older, pretended I was shy so I didn't have to hide being a lesbian so hard.. just stay in the background.) But they also encouraged me to play with whatever I loved, to run around out side “GO OUTSIDE!!”, to be very independent, often riding my horses for hours without contact. They gave me chores from helping in the kitchen to cleaning the garage. They didn’t quell my passion for being rough and tumble AT HOME... in public mom tried a little harder to get me to settle and be more passive. They mostly let me dress in what I wanted except for fancy occasions like weddings and out to dinner with Uncle Jerry from Chicago. They did not force gendered things on me all the time for two main reasons. My sister (who is straight) was very independent and head strong. She did what she wanted and they figured I would too. AND my siblings were 17, 20 and 23 years OLDER than me. They were tired. They were over it. So they didn’t fight me on what I liked. (And dad was HAPPY to have help on the acreage since they moved there on my behalf to get horses and let me be more wild). When I told my mom, at 12, I wanted to be a boy she told me I did not (colorful description of why not... and not flattering to the male body) then said "what do you really want". I wanted to do what boys did. So she said "do it.. talk to your father". I did. He had been bypassing me in favor of the neighbor boys on manual labor since I was 9. He thought I was not interested. From then on, chainsaw, mowing, (not just the easy parts) hay, oil changes, and such. When he was dying he told me to take his belt, "good leather last you a life time and you pass it to your kids" and he made sure I got his "wedding suit". A brown 1970's 3 piece JC Penny suit that he wore for every "suit" occasion since he retired in the late 80's. He said I would look good in it. Mom was way more into making sure I followed the rules of my sex and the gender society applied to that. She was concerned I would not fit in, would have a hard time, or be bullied for not conforming to the expectations of females. Women=feminine. Which is odd considering she played softball, was known to be very bold and outspoken (there are stories worth telling there). She bowled, always worked full time and managed the financials of the house. She shared cooking with dad. Her worry came from a mom knowing her kid was different and if she could lesson that "oddity" she could protect me. OF course.. a butch in a dress is still a butch and everyone who can see knows it. So gender neutral parenting. It is a great theory. It should be a thing. When I say gender I mean the set of stereotypes and societal expectations placed on us because of our sex. The engrained response to gender is little girls get pink and teddy bears and little boys get blue and trucks. Most parents don't even realize (there have been studies) that they do it. They tell a little girl in boys clothes "you are so strong and tough" and a little boy in a dress "aren't you just precious and pretty... boys will love you". They are using visually gendered clues to determine the sex and therefore the gender and ROLES this child is supposed to abide by. Not just abide by but thrive on. Praise for following the rules. And kids figure that out very quickly. Little girls stop trying "hard or dirty" tasks and little boys stop being tender with a doll or each other because they don't earn praise for those behaviors. Unfortunately no matter how perfectly neutral a parent (or family) is the world exists. Day care, the park, grandparents, cousins and on and on also affect this child's view of themselves in the world. Gender Neutral purity can be dangerous. You child will get into the real world and be hit with reality. We are expected to follow certain rules based on our sex and not doing so can cause issues at school, jobs, summer camps etc if that child does not have an idea about what is happening. Gender awareness parenting is much more important once the child is past the stage of being only with mom and dad. Actively speaking to your son about the benefits of dolls (sesame street has a short clip about this and IT IS STILL amazing). Speaking to your daughter about what she loves and encouraging that. If a little girl loves pink and dolls GO FOR IT> Parenting is NOT and never should be a political statement. DO NOT use your chld to prove your wokeness on gender. If your little boy likes motorcycles and buzz cuts don’t make him grow long hair and ride a pink bike because “color is not gendered” Kids should be encouraged to love and pursue what they love not what their parents want or think they shouldwant  in order to make a statement. I am going to repeat that. Kids should never be a statement of their parent’s political wokeness. Kids are people.. they deserve to love what they are passionate about. THAT Is the core idea behind gender neutral parenting.  You can’t send your kid, unarmed and unaware in to a world still very flush with gendered jobs, clothes, actions, hobbies etc based on their sex and expect them to just blindly power through. Actively educating kids to understand gender expectations and empowering them to do as they please is parenting at it’s finest. A child kept in the dark about the reality of the bad effects gender roles has on each one of us can be dangerous. They need to be actively involved in making decisions to keep themselves safe, to understand why gender exists and to let them choose when and where to push back.

[howdoyousayavocado]

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A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

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[howdoyousayavocado]

i made pride lothcat stickers!

get em here!

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There’s something off with this Mew…

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TODAY ON TERRIBLE TEXTBOOK FINDS

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Another incorrect quote from @sharkyg  This one made me chuckle X’D 

[howdoyousayavocado]

My dash did a thing and it made me laugh 😂

[howdoyousayavocado]

[howdoyousayavocado]

Katara’s Time

It had been a long time since Katara had thought about the ancient fortuneteller that she and her husband had met nearly a century ago. But she had never forgotten the words Aunt Wu had said; You will have your third great-grandchild before quietly passing away in your sleep. At fourteen she hadn’t given these words much thought but now at the age of one-hundred it was all she could think about.

She was the last of her friends to go. Her brother had been the first. It had been a warriors death like he had always wanted, protecting Republic City from its first invasion that had become a common occurrence to Katara over years. She didn’t think she could survive the pain that his death had brought her, until she experienced it four more times.

Next was her husband. After saving the world, building a city and raising their three children it was easy to forget that the avatar wasn’t invincible, especially since he’d brought up Bumi and lived to tell the tale. But although scars fade they never truly go away including ones forever scorched into his back that she healed herself. It’s better this way he told her as injuries that no child should ever have obtained finally caught up to his health. He died happily knowing that this time he was leaving the world in time of peace instead of a war. It had been over thirty years since his death yet she missed him more with everyday. Often she would find herself looking at the new avatar, smiling to herself when she recognised her late husband inside her.

Toph was too stubborn to die. She fought to the last agonising breathe but eventually the calling of the spirits was too much for even her and she passed away slowly, her two daughters by her side with family feuds long forgotten. At her funeral Katara was finally allowed to tell her niece the secret shed kept hidden for nearly sixty years. Last to leave was The Fire Lord himself. At ninety-eight he had been the last person alive during the one hundred year war, besides herself. Except for herself there was now no one left to tell the story of their adventures first hand. They were now officially part of history. She could still remember the day he invaded her village. It was impossible to think back then that somehow this man would become one of her greatest friends. The two had spent a lot of time together in their later years, both needing friendship after the deaths of their spouses. It difficult to imagine life without The Fire Lord but she knew that Izumi would do him proud.

————————————

“It’s a girl!” Katara cried happily as she birthed her eldest grandchild’s youngest daughter. Jinora smiled an exhausted but joyous smile as she was passed life she helped create. Kai wrapped his arms gently around his wife while their other two children Pema II and Gyatso peered curiously at their new baby sister.

Suddenly the small room became crowded with people as everyone that Katara had grown to call family entered. Her son and his wife rushed towards their daughter with loving open arms, frantically checking that both she and her baby were alright. Tenzin placed a comforting hand on Kai’s shoulder having finally forgiving him getting his daughter pregnant at eighteen making his son-in-law glow with acceptance. Ikki, Meelo and Rohan came next, their tattoos shining brightly against their skin. They gave her encouraging looks before moving aside to let their honorary older sister see. Korra bended the elements in a small ring around the baby’s head making her eyes widen in awe. Asami laughed gently at her wife’s antics whilst their son Hiroshi stood unimpressed besides them. Suyin and her children entered next having officially become part of the family. They lovingly presented their cousin with a showering of gifts and Sokka II looked confused from Opal’s arms at the sight of another baby. Kya tried unsuccessfully to coax Lin inside who stubbornly stood outside with Mako and Wu who despite having two children of their own where still terrified at the sight of babies. Katara sat down with a sigh as the healing chamber became too crowed, not that she’d have it any other way. She knew she could never tire of seeing the way a family comes together at the birth of a baby. “What you gonna call her?” Hiroshi asked from where he was standing next to Pema II making the young girl blush. Jinora shared a look with her husband before turning to look bashfully at her grandmother. “Katara.” She said hopefully. At her age Katara thought she was too old to be shocked but at these words she found her eyes widen. But at her granddaughter’s regretful look her eyes eyes softened into a smile.

“I’m honoured.” She said suddenly feeling a great weight had passed through her. “Are you alright Mum?” Bumi said coming over to her. “Maybe you should lie down.” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been delivering babies since I was twelve years old, it’s going to take more than that to tire me out.” Despite her words she retired to her room thinking of the adventure known as her life. It hadn’t been easy and their where parts she’d rather forget but hearing the cry of the newest member of family made everything worth it. She went to sleep to the sound of her families’ cries of joy and Aunt Wu’s prophecy.

She awoke to welcoming tone of her husbands voice.

[howdoyousayavocado]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[howdoyousayavocado]

CW: animal death

People have asked for more interactions between Life and Death. Life is bringing so much color into my comics haha <3