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[howtolegalbasic]

Today is the rest day of your life

congratulations on finishing all four sundays, 2017 bar examination takers! here are 10 fun post-bar exam activities you can do:

sleep

stack all of your review material in one pile and take a photograph with it for your memories or timehop

watch a movie in a cinema (unfortunately you’ve missed thor: ragnarok, the best superhero movie in 2017 that used immigrant song by led zeppelin)

sleep hard

apologize to every person you were an asshole to during the bar review months, because you thought your being an asshole was justified because you were stressed or anxious or afraid or tired or whatever, and THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT EXAM IN YOUR LIFE, SO MOVE BITCH GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!! but it turns out you just alienated people who had their own equally-important shit going on, and not even the bar exam should be an excuse to be a complete monster, because hey guess what, the bar review period is not some sort of bubble where nothing else matters and you shouldn’t suffer the consequences of you being an asshole to other people :)))))))))))) :)

go on vacation, because once you're a lawyer, vacation time is just about as attainable as work-life balance

get a job?? maybe???? (you may need to seriously rethink your CV)

not discuss the bar questions anymore unless you are a masochist or a tool or a member of the up law center committee for suggested answers to the bar examination

sleep hard (with a vengeance)

realize that the agony of taking the bar is compounded by the agony of waiting for the results, paying attention to each and every rumor regarding the release of the results, putting up with people’s annoying jokes about the results, the results generally, it’s only slightly uphill from here tbh

[howtolegalbasic]

A legal holiday gift guide (2017 edition)

this holiday season, the best gift you can give to the lawyer in your life is to not ask them for legal advice.

is a lawyer coming to your holiday gathering? please, restrain yourself from pulling them aside to ask about your inheritance/your SO’s inheritance/tax evasion avoidance/the annoying thing someone else did and how you can sue them and win big cash/a crime you are--let's be real--not going to commit

but how do i not ask for legal advice?? you may be wondering. how can i stop myself from consulting a lawyer on my burning legal problems during a festive occasion??

fear not, citizen!!! here’s a tasty sampler of handy tips you can easily follow:

- don’t start any sentence with any variation of “kasi, attorney, eto yung nangyari” or “may problema kasi ako, attorney” - don’t tell a long anecdote thinly-disguised as a bar problem (5%) and expect the lawyer to solve it with a chunk of lechon/fruit salad/christmas ham/black forest cake/rice in their mouth - don’t shove a bunch of papers in the lawyer’s hands so they can have some “light reading” of your family’s convoluted sales transactions while they wait for their turn at the videoke

but!! you object. i ask my doctor-friends during parties about my various bodily functions and they don’t seem to mind.

first of all, you shouldn’t be doing this to your doctor-friends, either. second of all, you shouldn’t be doing this to your doctor-friends, either. third of all, one of these days your doctor-friend will compare the pus from your pimple to the maja blanca, and you will never eat maja blanca again.

BUT!! you insist with great force. I NEED LEGAL ADVICE AND SOMEHOW I CAN ONLY GET IT FROM A LAWYER-ACQUAINTANCE DURING A PARTY WHILE EVERYONE IS ENJOYING NOT HAVING TO GO TO WORK EVEN FOR ONE NIGHT!!!

in which case, sign a retainer agreement with a lawyer who’ll put up with your 24/7 365 days a year pestering in exchange for billable hours, AND DON’T ASK FOR LEGAL ADVICE DURING A PARTY (OR ANY OTHER SOCIAL OCCASIONS, E.G., WEDDINGS, BAPTISMS, FUNERALS, REUNIONS, HOMECOMINGS, HOUSEWARMINGS, FESTIVALS, SPORTING EVENTS, BLOCK SCREENINGS, CANDLE-LIGHTINGS, TREE-PLANTINGS, MASS PROTESTS, CONCERTS, VIGILS, BRUNCHES, PRAYER RALLIES, TOURNAMENTS, PUB CRAWLS, QUIZ NIGHTS, TEAM-BUILDING SEMINARS, SHINDIGS, HOEDOWNS, CAROUSING, ETC ETC)

the second-best holiday gift you can give the lawyer in your life is also to not message them on social media about your legal problems for the rest of both of your days.

other things which may or may not be good gifts for lawyers you know:

1. a fountain pen in my experience, fountain pen nerds are very particular about their pens, their inks, etc etc. give up trying to surprise them, and just ask them flat-out what pen or ink or etc etc they want.

this also goes for highlighters, for the law students in your life. law students can be unreasonable over highlighters, don't get them started. however if you somehow know what exactly highlighter the lawyer in your life likes, buy them a box of it. maybe two boxes, if you think it'll earn you one (1) voucher for one (1) free legal advice, like sm advantage points but for dicks.

2. a book don’t buy legal books. most legal books in the local market are textbooks. would you buy an engineer a random engineering textbook? no, you wouldn’t (least of all because engineering textbooks are extortionately expensive). unless, of course, the lawyer puts the title of the legal book in their wishlist, perhaps because they’re too lazy or busy to go to rex/central/up law center.

a fun book to give a lawyer is strunk and white’s elements of style. this book can form part of their desk reference bookshelf and will never be read!!!

3. a usb stick somehow nearly all lawyers i know don’t have a usb device at hand when they need one.

lawyers: do not accept usb sticks that are not in their original tamper-proof packaging. definitely do not stick an unknown usb device into your work computer!!!

4. the appropriate power cable for their mobile device somehow nearly all lawyers i know don’t have a micro usb/usb-c/lightning cable at hand when they need one.

5. something the lawyer really likes which is not at all related to law

6. anything because it’s the thought that counts, am i right???? except for novelty lawyer items like humorous t-shirts or keychains or random jingle-jangle THROW YOURSELF AND YOUR """"HUMOUROUS"""" GIFT INTO A BIN

7. don’t give lawyers in government service anything that they (a) may need to declare in their SALN; and (b) violates presidential decree no. 46 or republic act no. 6713. this is not a gift which may or may not be good to give a lawyer, but it is a handy protip you may wish to know.

HAPPY GIFT-GIVING (2017)!!!