hoydeetoydee

[hoydeetoydee]

cant wait for when i become a real person

[hoydeetoydee]

i can't stop watching this it;s making me sick. that car is like an animal to me. i need to hand-feed it and play fetch with it. clawing at my monitor

[hoydeetoydee]

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

[hoydeetoydee]

[hoydeetoydee]

"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

[hoydeetoydee]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[hoydeetoydee]

i just did the BOFA thing to my mum and she goes “that’s very rude” and I said “i’m sorry, i meant it as a parody” and she said “of what?” then i said “a parod-eez nuts” and i heard my dad laugh from the other room

[hoydeetoydee]

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

[hoydeetoydee]

*opens the oven after preheating to 400*

[hoydeetoydee]

[hoydeetoydee]

[hoydeetoydee]

it's kinda wild that it took the mcelroy brothers 13 years and 678 episodes to drop their "our great great uncle was the chief purser on the titanic" lore. if i were them i would never stop talking about that.

[hoydeetoydee]

some favorites

[hoydeetoydee]

[hoydeetoydee]

Anyone else only in their 20s but feel like they are running out of time to get their life together??