hoyo-enjoyer

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“eldritch horror beyond your comprehension” and it’s just a generic monster with tentacles and eyes

[hoyo-enjoyer]

everyone say thank you hideo kojima

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who keeps breaking into my freezer and replacing the trays full of little water with ice cubes

[hoyo-enjoyer]

I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

[hoyo-enjoyer]

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

[hoyo-enjoyer]

"I'm just a swirl" -ice cream cone who uses TikTok

[hoyo-enjoyer]

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

[hoyo-enjoyer]

[hoyo-enjoyer]

plush

[hoyo-enjoyer]

there's something incestuous about seasoning tofu with soy sauce

[hoyo-enjoyer]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

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i didnt know you were allowed to do things for the sake of wanting to do things. i thought you were just supposed to keep that locked inside your ribcage and let it rot you inside out until youre limping around as the desiccated corpse of who you could have been

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i get high & start actn like joe biden

[hoyo-enjoyer]

every single person who reblogs this

every

single

person

will get “doot doot" in their ask box

[hoyo-enjoyer]

"you gotta play with the cards you're dealt" WRONG. i play pot of greed which lets me draw two additional cards from my deck

[hoyo-enjoyer]

Tired of your baby girl being seen as a genderless imp? Afraid strangers might not recognize your sexless proto-human as the soft femme heartbreaker she is? Well now you can glue some shit on her head! That’s right, just glue some gender conformity right onto her unclosed fontanelle! Say goodbye to awkwardly explaining that no, despite her bald head, your androgynous poop machine is actually a demure coquette! Glue your fucking baby today!