hphmbang2020

[hphmbang2020]

Hphm Bang

So here is my part of the Hphm Bang organized by @hphmbang2020​

The other part of the bang was written by @ravenclaw-craftsgirl​ so go check her out :)

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OmQMNct39U5-4I_Hnqn70h8e1MmAQI2PLsyQeDM7Nhg/edit?usp=sharing

So sorry to @allieisblue and @hphmbang2020 for such a long delay!

Unfortunately, I forgot to pay my internet bill and they shut off my services. But, I now have internet and can post my part of the Bang. I hope you enjoy!

[hphmbang2020]

The Moon is Brighter By Your Side

Story by @nuttydelphox

Companion art by @slytherinliththorne

My half of the @hphmbang2020 done with slytherinliththorne! You can find her half here!

Prompt: Chiara once lost a friend to her lycanthropy and had avoided contact with people since then. But the unexpected friendship with Jae Kim changes it all.

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The night was still in the Hufflepuff dorms where Chiara slept. The only movement was her own tossing and turning. Her breathing was short as if she were being chased. When her eyes flew open and she sat bolt upright she found that the sun was beginning to rise.

Sunrise…

Chiara let out a sigh. The night was over, and with that her nightmares. At least for now. She lays back down and stares at the canopy of her bed, thinking to herself.

The nightmares came every night recently. They pop up every now and then to remind her of her past, and what she has been doomed to. They were always the same. A bright smile that twists into a look of horror the second the sun goes down.

Chiara shook the thoughts out of her head. No use dwelling on them now. She slowly and quietly gets out of bed and dresses, trying not to wake her dormmates. Without a sound she slips out of the dorm and out of the Hufflepuff Common Room.

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[hphmbang2020]

HPHM Bang 2020

Art by @nuttydelphox

Story by @cokebottlesanddenim

Words: 4,300

Our entry for the @hphmbang2020! The prompt was “Jae’s mother is having some trouble making ends meet, so he goes to Liz to ask about Unicorn hair.”

The Magizoologist and the Merchant

Despite it being close to finals, the library was remarkably empty, as most students had opted to take their studying outside to enjoy the rare bought of perfect sunshine that was gracing the Hogwarts grounds. It was also remarkably silent, Jae noted to himself. Aside from the occasional flutter of turning paper or the haughty scoff of the librarian, it was quiet enough to hear a pin drop in the room. Jae would have personally preferred more noise coverage, but could also appreciate the mitigated risk of potential eavesdroppers. It wasn’t like he could ever have both options anyways.

In the back corner of the room, he saw his target, hunched over a tome bigger than her head, round glasses glinting in the bright sunlight that streamed in through the high windows. She was alone at her table, save for the piles of books that surrounded her like a makeshift fort while she worked away. Liz Tuttle was notoriously recluse, and although Jae had anticipated that she would be alone, it had been hard enough finding her in the first place. If he hadn’t known she would be here, he wouldn’t have bothered to come to the library at all.

Doing his best to seem innocuous, Jae slunk between the bookstacks, deftly dodging between the shelves to avoid Madam Pince’s attention. He slid wordlessly into the seat opposite Liz at her table, and she looked up with a start.

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[hphmbang2020]

You ever wonder how Duncan Ashe died? And what happened that night? You’re about to find out. Special thanks to @angrynar for teaming up with me for the @hphmbang2020! Hope you guys enjoy <3

Late. It was very late. It had been hours since he last rested and he wasn’t even remotely done. Duncan Ashe groaned and peeled his face off his book, feeling a sharp crack as he etched his head to the left. Rubbing at the dull ache that shot from his neck to his shoulder and fingertips, Duncan squinted at the spinning words in his notes, trying to force himself to stay awake. His head seemed to pound.

There was no time to rest.

He needed this done, and an Erumpent potion required all his attention.

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[hphmbang2020]

The Moon is Brighter By Your Side

This is my part for the @hphmbang2020​. I had so much fun drawing this, it was really a challenge. @nuttydelphox​ wrote the other part for this bang so go read it!!!

Prompt: Chiara once lost a friend to her lycanthropy and had avoided contact with people since then. But the unexpected friendship with Jae Kim changes it all. 

[hphmbang2020]

The Great Dragon Rescue

This is the bang @montdiarts​ and I worked on together! The lovely comic art belongs to @montdiarts​ while the writing belongs to myself. @hphmbang2020​

———————

“Are you sure about this, Charlie?”

Barnaby’s voice echoed down the cracked stone halls weathered with age as the boys traveled by torchlight down the seldom used corridor. He gripped his wand tightly in a fist, green eyes shifting behind to ensure they weren’t followed.

“I saw it myself, Barnaby, a real life dragon egg,” the red-headed boy hissed back. He picked his way around the corner bending left, unbothered enough to forgo looking down the other adjoining halls. As far as he was concerned, that was what Barnaby tagged along for.

When he’d first stumbled upon the egg, it had been fate. It started with a prodding dream to study for his OWL’s, and after waking up covered in a fresh sheen of sweat, he had set to work scouring Hogwarts for the best place to study between classes without anyone finding him. That, of course, meant going where he wasn’t supposed to. 

Charlie sniffed out nearly every inch of the expansive castle, resulting in the common practice of people and creatures chasing him from newly acquired positions. He dared not tell Barnaby his previous run-in with Hagrid’s puppy.

As far as the Slytherin knew, this was a top secret mission to save a dragon’s egg from great peril. Loneliness. 

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[hphmbang2020]

Reverse Bang 2020!

Here is my submition to @hphmbang2020​ ‘s reverse bang! I had a lot of fun :D

Go check out @thewasp1995​ ‘s amazing (and very intense-) work right here! I personally enjoy it quite a lot, be warned however, it gets violent at some point.

“Better luck next time”

WARNING! Blood and death under here!

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[hphmbang2020]

Better Luck Next Time

My submission for the @hphmbang2020! It was definitely intense to write. So @nikyiscreepy I really hope you like it!

Fair warning, this gets pretty violent. 

Penny Haywood considered herself a fairly happy person- upbeat, engaging, and always ready to lend a hug or helping hand when someone required it. “A bright little ball of sunshine you are” her dad would often say. While some would suggest it was disingenuous (“No one’s that happy,” Merula would often sass behind her back) the thirteen year old Hufflepuff had come to be proud of the fact she embodied the traits of her house: hard work, loyalty, and above all, kindness.

Though only in third year, it was no secret to anyone how well liked she was. Adventuring with David Grant certainly played a factor in that equation. Though the sibling of an ex-student once thought to be mad, the bravery displayed earned the mutual respect and liking of the student body. But her accomplishments stood out in her own right. Among other things she was a brilliant potioneer, so talented in the subject that even the perpetually miserable Professor Snape tolerated her presence. The kindly demeanor exhibited daily created a sense of trust among her peers that they could tell her anything. So while she enjoyed gossip, none of it carried any malicious intent. Another factor was involved, one unspoken of mostly but certainly whispered by many of the boys in her year: Penny Haywood was extraordinarily beautiful, the radiant personally only matched by soft, shiny blonde hair and bright blue eyes that sparkled like sapphires in a fountain. To the untrained eye or those who did not know her, the young Hufflepuff was the envy of just about everyone in Hogwarts.

However, even the brightest angels have inner demons. Some unexpected.

It happened rather suddenly at the end of a standard Herbology class. It was a lovely September day, the kind one aches for during the harsh winter of the Scottish Highlands, and Professor Sprout was instructing the class on Valerian root. Though not always the best at managing plants as many of her house peers were, this class held particular interest to Penny as Valerian was a common ingredient in many potions. As head of Hufflepuff, the young teen hoped that Sprout might allow her to take home some spare leaves, something that had often occurred in the past. As a result, she remained on her best behavior.

“Gather round, everyone!” Sprout called out. “Too much water on the Valerian root will kill it within moments. I will demonstrate the proper amount to use. Miss Haywood, will you fetch me that pail on the shelf?”

Practically bouncing with joy, the Hufflepuff did as told with gusto. Approaching the closet where the pails were kept she could overhear Tonks discussing a possible prank with David on Madam Pince, the latter of whom seemed skeptical.

“Which of these plants do you think would work best for bothering a certain, irritable librarian?”

“Tonks, just how many detentions do you plan on getting this year?”

Those two, she thought with a silent laugh while simultaneously opening the closet door.

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Hello! So besides painting for this bang, I’ve also written for it!! A Drunken Exchange, from @anatomicallycorrectshrimp.

This is their post. The artwork is,,, *chef’s kiss* very nice.

Once again, thank you @hphmbang2020 for making this happen.

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Hello!! This is my art piece that I did to the story of @danceworshipper.  Here is their post for the story. It’s amazing, go read it pls!!

This is all thanks to @hphmbang2020, so thank you for giving us this opportunity!

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My entry for the @hphmbang2020! “The first dragon rider”, I worked alongside @whatwouldvalerydo 💛💛💛

There’s a mini animation and I included the whole piece too. Hope you like it ^^

[hphmbang2020]

HPHM BANG 2020

And woohoo, October 1 is here, so why not kick it off with a BANG? Okay, that joke’s been used already–but hey I got a writing work here. And it’s paired with gorgeous artwork done by @swissgirlfromnowhere - I’ll put up a link to the artwork once it’s up! This was really challenging and yet still a lot of fun to write, so I’m really grateful to have signed up for this cool event.

Thanks to @hphmbang2020 for this–now let’s get things going!

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PROMPT: Faced with attending Hogwarts on her own, having no friends and being a Werewolf, Chiara has problems to adjust to her life as a Hogwarts student and find her way to happiness. But everything changes after she meets a cute little cub from the Forbidden Forest and gets more than she bargained for.

WORD COUNT: 3566

Here’s the artwork!

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LIGHT IN THE DARK

The glow of the flames rising high from the torches did nothing to light the darkness shrouded over the werewolf’s past.

Chiara Lobosca let out a slow, silent exhale, fists clenched at her sides. Hesitation slowed her steps, held her back in the throng of first-year students that surrounded her–the students all eagerly chattering in excitement as they followed their Prefect, Jane Court, to the Hufflepuff Common Room. Any typical kid her age right now would eagerly extend their hand to make a new friend, but she was not like the typical kid her age–not anymore.

Each of them were unaware of what she had been through. It was best to keep it that way.

It was not like she was scared of her own past. With parents that cared so much for her despite her recent afflictions, she felt like she could release her hold on the security blankets wrapped so tightly around her just a little. Still, the memory of her first and only friend learning of this secret and screaming in sheer terror at it when she realized her mistake upon seeing her transformation kept rising in her mind. The sight of what she became, when not the sweet shy girl in the day, led to the shadow forever cast over her head like an indestructible veil.

Knock, knock, knock-knock-knock. The sounds of her Prefect rapping her knuckles on a round wooden door caught her off-guard, but she managed to stop herself before she tripped over her feet. That was when she realized–tonight was the full moon. There was no way she could stay in her dormitory tonight without anyone knowing her secret.

The minute her Prefect dismissed everyone, she departed from the common room at high speed, dodging past the older students making their way into the common room and dashing out into the corridors. With what little strength she had in her conscious effort to distance herself, she wrenched the door open and sprinted across the grounds towards the forest. Her strides never faltered, feet pounding hard on the grass and breathing quickly through her mouth. As she reached the border treeline, she glanced back at the castle, distant lights from the windows twinkling like the stars in the sky.

Then her blue eyes widened as they soon met the luminescent glow of the full moon; her mind blanked, and she knew no more.

—

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[hphmbang2020]

HPHM BANG 2020

I took part in the @hphmbang2020 and drew a prompt with Chiara!

@lins-hogwarts-mystery wrote the fic to which this drawing belongs! You can find it here, find out what the story behind the drawing is and check it out!

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Okay I can't wait any longer so I'm posting this now. This is my writing piece for @hphmbang2020 and the art by @mervinamoonishere will be linked when it gets posted! The prompt was about how much better Rowan deserved. I'm on mobile, so I sincerely apologize for the lack of a "read more" (5,035 words)

Not Your Sacrifice

Rowan Khanna stands at the edge of the universe, staring out into the abyss. Her eyes are bright, shining with the light of the stars, but dull and sad inside. She stares at something she can't see, something impossibly far away. There's a pain in her chest that won't go away. She doesn't know how to alleviate it. Right now, all she can think of is her memories of the living world that haunt her, all the things she left unsaid. Hands shaking, Rowan takes a breath and begins to speak, though no one is around to hear her.

"Uh, hey. Merlin, how do I even start this? I'm pretty sure you can't hear me now, but I wish I could have said something before I got hit. Or at all. It happened so fast, didn't it? I'm not even sure when the moment I died was. At least it didn't hurt; not that I can remember. I didn't feel anything, but I saw it coming. It was rather pretty, actually, being surrounded by such a bright green."

She chuckles sadly, pressing a hand to her chest. Though there had been no pain, Rowan flinches. Sometimes that moment is all she can see, all she can hear. Just the green, and the sound of crackling power. She doesn't want to cry, not right now, not yet. After refocusing her mind, Rowan speaks again.

"Are you okay? I guess not. I wish you hadn't had to watch. Really, I wish it had never happened. Jumping in front of Ben wasn't even a choice, I don't think. I just moved, and then I was here. I suppose this is Heaven? No one has said. It seems like Heaven with how beautiful it all is. The gardens are mind blowing here. I landed in a garden, and then my grandfather found me and brought me to his and my Grandma's tree farm. They have tree farms here, can you imagine that? Anything you could ever want in the entire universe, right here where you can have it."

A brilliant smile forms on her face. It falls just as quickly.

"Anything except living people like you. You're what I miss most of all. People always said that the suffering ended once you died but... you're suffering, and that makes me suffer."

Her voice is growing tighter. Rowan grips her arms, never looking away from the person she can't see. Her nails dig into her skin, but leave no marks behind.

"Sometimes I can see you all, just little glimpses of what's going on. The 'Circle of Khanna' huh? Sounds a lot more impressive than it should. I believe in you, of course! I didn't mean that in a bad way. It's just rather funny to imagine a powerful group of witches and wizards named after me. Is that my legacy? I died so you all could become great? Rowan Khanna, the girl that got murdered. I - "

Her arms drop.

"I don't like that. That's not who I wanted to be. I wanted to be the youngest professor at Hogwarts. I wanted to travel with my friends and learn as much as I could. I wanted to live, really live. Now I don't get to. I don't just want to be the girl who died. Anything else; I could have been anyone else! Why was I such a failure? I didn't do anything I wanted. I didn't even get to be a prefect. Don't blame yourself, though. Please. Don't be more upset. You deserve to live your life and be happy. You do so much for everyone. You've saved lives. You've done so many amazing things."

Rowan sniffs. Now, instead of sad, she looks as though she hates herself.

"Why didn't I try to stop Rakepick? I had plenty of time. I had my wand. I could have stunned her. Anything but die, which was arguably the least logical action. High stress situations, I suppose. You never know what you'd actually do, and apparently my solution was to jump in front of Ben and die instead of doing anything that would have made sense. Even being a coward and doing nothing might have been better. Is that selfish? To wish that I had let Ben die? I don't like it here. I don't want to be here!"

Rowan screams in frustration. There's nothing around her, but her yell echoes anyway. Tears are falling from her eyes, and she blinks fiercely, still not taking her eyes off of her first friend. Her best friend. Rowan's chest heaves with every forced breath, and a look of desperation grows on her face.

"I know so many spells. I could have stunned her, hexed her, set her on fire, frozen her, blinded her, even just confused her with some random flowers. I could have helped. I could have prevented all of this. Not you. You did everything you could. I'm the one who was lacking. I always dreamed of a situation like this, where I could swoop in and be a hero and maybe then I'd matter a little, but when it happened I didn't even think about using my stupid wand."

Her wand materializes before her eyes from the nothing, and she angrily grabs it and snaps it in half. She can't use it from here. When she throws the pieces away, they fuse back together and vanish. It only serves to make her more upset.

"Everything is perfect here. Nothing ever goes wrong. You can't break anything, or hurt anyone. I cut myself while trimming branches and I didn't even feel it. No blood, no scar, nothing. Is that supposed to be a good thing? Can anything even be good if there isn't anything bad to compare it to? Or are we supposed to compare all this good with all the bad we went through in our lives?"

Rowan finally looks away. She rips her glasses off and wipes at her eyes, though the tears keep coming. Her chest shudders now as she tries to control her breathing so she can keep talking. The grief is overpowering her, threatening to consume her, so she tries to cheer herself up.

"It really is beautiful here. I shouldn't be complaining. There's so much space for trees, and they never wither or get sick. All the bowtruckles are easier to get along with. They seem to trust everyone. There are even dragons here! Friendly dragons that don't want to fry me up and eat me. I got to ride a Chinese Fireball around. She took me up to the nebulas and I could almost touch the stars. It felt like a dream, and it still does. None of this feels real. It's too perfect. I guess that's how it's supposed to be, right? No more suffering, unless you're me, still mourning the loss of my own life."

The tears start again no matter how hard Rowan tries to stop them. She looks down, fidgeting with her hands for a moment, and then looks back up almost hesitantly. Within a second she looks back down. There's something she needs to know, but is afraid to ask.

"Why did you leave me?"

It's a change of subject, from beautiful star dragons to ended friendships, but by the pained look on Rowan's face, she's been thinking about it the whole time. She keeps her eyes down, glasses still clutched tightly in one hand.

"I thought I was a good friend. What did I do wrong? Why did you stop hanging out with me? We used to do everything together. What happened? Was it me? Did you just outgrow me?"

Rowan sobs loudly.

"Was I too much of a coward?"

She hits the ground with a thud, sprawled out with her legs in different directions and her back at an odd angle. It can't be comfortable, but she doesn't move from the position. She's too exhausted.

"I gave up on the vaults. I couldn't handle it. Even though Ben used to be a coward, he kept trying. That was it, wasn't it? I was too scared, so you left me behind. You didn't tell me anything because you thought it would keep me safer and I was too weak to handle it. Right?"

There's no answer. Rowan's friend can't hear her. With a huff, Rowan sits up, the effort making her wince. Her face is wet and red and blotchy, and she's squinting - she dropped her glasses when she lay down. She doesn't look for them.

"You should have told me so I wouldn't have to find out for myself."

The dark anger in Rowan's voice is far different from the sad anger it held previously. Her friend's betrayal - could it even be called that? - really hurt her.

"This is your fault. It's not, and I know it's not, but it's your damn fault. You're the one who stopped talking to me. You're the one who left me so far behind I had to run to keep up! I tried! I tried so hard to be the best friend I could be, and what did I get? Dead. I got dead. I hate you!"

Rowan falls silent, and flops back down. The rage has dissipated. Her next words come out barely audible.

"I don't hate you. I shouldn't have said that. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I miss you so much and I shouldn't, because you didn't love me. Not in the end. You loved everyone else; you loved everyone useful. All you could focus on was those vaults, and so anyone who wasn't helping you didn't matter. I didn't matter. All I did was follow you around like a puppy. Was I annoying? Were you too nice to tell me to go away? Were we really friends in the end?"

A pause.

"I noticed you kept the spare pair of glasses I had in my bedside drawer. There's a few more things in my trunk that I'd like you to have, if you ever find the time to go through it. If you even want to. My old watch is in there, a few things from Diagon Alley, and a few pictures. There's one of me and you from the beginning of fifth year, and one of us and our friends at the Celestial Ball. I think there's also one of me and Fuzzclaw in there. My parents already have a copy of that one. It's from the day he was born, I'm pretty sure. We had already decided we were going to keep one kitten, and as soon as I picked him up for the first time he snuggled right into me and that was that. I was only seven, so I thought I was super special that a newborn kitten already liked me that much. Merlin, I didn't even get a decade with him. Never would have guessed that I'd die first. You never expect that kind of thing. You always think you'll outlive your pets, your parents. My parents are miserable, you know. I've seen even less of them than I have of you, but they're not doing well. I can't blame them. I never told them much about the vaults. I didn't want them to worry."

Another pause, a longer one. Rowan is lost in thought for a while, looking thoughtful at first, and then even a little angry.

"Was that it? You didn't want me to worry? Too bad. I already knew too much. Even if I didn't know a single thing about the vaults I would have been worried about you. You don't get enough sleep. You say you do, but I don't believe you. I doubt you eat enough. You run yourself dry with homework and the vaults and every little problem anyone has. It's okay to make sure you're okay. As much as I miss you, I hope I don't see you again for a really long time, because if I do, I'll have to smack you for not putting yourself first. Just say no! Just say 'sorry not right now, I'm tired.' Stop wearing yourself thin! You're not helping anyone by hurting yourself like this."

Rowan reaches out, her hand easily finding her glasses, almost as if they were right beside her the whole time. They weren't. As Rowan sits up, she refocuses her eyes out in the distance. If she tries hard enough she can almost see her friend again. Almost.

"Put yourself first, but you need to take down R. If that's the last thing I can ask from you, avenge me. You need to make me worth it. It's selfish of me to say, because going through this might ruin you, but I know you can stop Rakepick. I know you can end R's reign once and for all. You and all our friends. I've seen the things you can do with friends by your side. Taking down this cabal should be nothing."

Rowan snorts.

"Maybe not nothing. But I believe in you either way. You're incredible, and you have Bill Weasley on your side. Is it just me, or is he only getting cooler the older he gets? I still sometimes can't believe that I got to be somewhat friends with him."

A small smile appears on Rowan's face. Her eyes glaze over a bit, no longer focused on her far away friend. Instead, they become focused on a memory.

"Remember when Bill told Emily off at the Celestial Ball and then came over to talk to me? I'm so glad you convinced me to go. It would have been fun even without Bill, but really it was only because of you. You always made me feel better about myself. You were right; I would have regretted not going. I didn't want to make a fool of myself, but if I didn't go I wouldn't have those memories or be a part of those inside jokes. I would have felt even more left out then I already did."

The smile drops.

"Dammit, I really don't want to start crying again."

A little meow comes from behind Rowan. She whips around and sees a large, fluffy grey cat staring up at her. Rowan's smile comes back through her tears, and she reaches out for the cat to come closer.

"Toebean!"

The cat perks up at the name and leaps onto Rowan's lap. Rowan strokes the cat's fur as it purrs.

"You're another someone I didn't think I'd see so soon."

Rowan looks back up toward her friend again.

"This is Fuzzclaw's mother. She was one of the most affectionate cats I've ever seen. She'd always come into my room when I was crying and sit on my lap like this."

Toebean adjusts on Rowan's lap to be able to look up at her. Rowan wipes at her eyes again and rubs Toebean's stomach, something most cats would never let anyone do. Rowan smiles sadly again.

"Such a good kitty. I was nine years old the last time I saw you, wasn't I? You were the first family member I ever lost. I remember sobbing under the blankets every night for months, wishing you would come back to me and cuddle me again. Every single time I was ever sad I'd think of you. Fuzzclaw was wonderful, but he never quite understood me like you do."

Wiping her eyes isn't helping at this point. Rowan's getting choked up again, alternating looking at Toebean and her friend in the distance.

"Turns out dying yourself hurts just as much."

Toebean meows louder, pawing gently at her owner. Rowan sobs and leans down, hiding her face in Toebean's fur. Now Rowan's voice is muffled when she speaks.

"Did you feel like this? Did you miss us like I miss my friends? My family? Did it hurt to leave us behind, or were you happy here with all the other cats and all the food you could ever eat?"

Another sob. Rowan sits up straighter, and Toebean meows disapprovingly.

"I know. I know you want me to stop crying."

Rowan sniffs.

"I want me to stop crying, too."

Toebean leans into Rowan's chest, looking as sad as a cat possibly can.

"I just miss them so much. And I can't stop thinking about how I'll never be able to be anything. I'll never get to be Head Girl, or the youngest professor at Hogwarts. I might get to learn everything there ever was to know, but I won't get to do it with my friends. I'll never get to help them achieve their dreams, or help them through their hardships. I'll never get to attend their weddings, or go on a tour across Europe with them. I'm nothing now. They'll all forget me someday. They were already starting to before I died. I did get to spend a little time with my best friend though, right before. It was so nice. It felt like the old days, where it was just the two of us against the world. You would have loved them, Toebean, all of them. I have so many stories to tell you, like that one time my best friend cast the tickling charm on this nasty girl Merula in first year. I almost laughed as hard as she did, and I didn't even get hit! Merula did end up getting nicer throughout the years, even if only slightly. And then there were all of my actual friends, like Penny and Barnaby. Penny was really good at potions, and she knew all the Hogwarts gossip, which would have been a bad thing if she wasn't so nice. Barnaby seemed pretty stupid, but once you got to know him he was one of the sweetest people ever. I used to help him out with his homework sometimes, and he always thanked me so genuinely. Ben I'm not sure I ever really liked, which is ironic because he's the one I jumped in front of. He was cowardly at first, but he still always helped out when he could. He started acting weird though, and I didn't trust him. It turned out he was being controlled by someone, but I still thought something was wrong. I guess he won me over in the end. Oh, and I was sort of friends with Bill Weasley! He was the coolest boy in school. He was smart and powerful and really, really tall. He was a couple years older than all of us - I'm not actually sure why he spent so much time with kids that much younger than him, but I'm not complaining. Maybe he did it for his brother, Charlie. Although Bill joined our friend group before Charlie did... I don't know. He's a Cursebreaker now. Rakepick got him that job."

Rowan's face hardens at the mention of her murderer.

"If there's only one person I could ever wish death upon, it would be her. Rakepick was our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor during his last year, my fifth year. She came to the school the year before that because Dumbledore wanted her to deal with the vaults and not us, although she immediately got a few of my friends involved, which got the rest of us involved too. I wasn't there when this happened, but she took a bunch of them into one of the Cursed Vaults and then left them there to die. She hit Merula with the Cruciatus Curse, and probably would have killed them all if my best friend hadn't through Garroting Gas at her. No one expected her to be a member of R, not even Professor Dumbledore. We thought she was working against R, and that even if we didn't like her we could trust her. I didn't trust her, though. I thought she was a bad influence. Turns out I was right."

A little smugness appears on Rowan's face, although she grows more serious again quickly.

"After she disappeared we decided that we couldn't let her get to the last vault first. She was willing to murder children, so if the treasure of the vaults was anything to do with power, we couldn't risk her getting her hands on it. We tried everything we could to stay one step ahead, which was difficult considering we had no clue what R was up to. And then..."

Rowan trails off and gulps. Toebean looks up at her almost encouragingly.

"I wasn't as involved as I should have been. I still don't know everything that was going on, but I was getting really worried. It was so rare to see anyone with any hope anymore. I followed Ben, Merula, and my best friend into the Forbidden Forest one night. They didn't want me there, either to keep me safe or just because they thought I would get in the way. No one ever told me anything at that point. I used to help all the time, you know? They'd ask me about curses or secret codes, and I'd do what I could. But in sixth year they never talked to me. That's why I followed them. I felt left out and I just wanted to help. I didn't actually follow them, I guess. They left long before me, but after a little while I couldn't help myself. I knew they were in danger and I just had to go make sure they were alright. They weren't. Rakepick was there, and it was really cold for some reason. I think there might have been dementors there. That would explain the cold and the heavy feeling of dread. Rakepick was attacking the three of them - Ben, Merula, and my best friend - and she said something about my best friend owing her a life, and then she tried to kill Ben. And I ran..."

Toebean gives a sad meow.

"And now I'm here, because I acted on impulse instead of doing something smart. I was watching for a little bit. I could have stopped her! I could have done something to throw her off so they could get the upper hand! Why didn't I help? Why was I so stupid?"

The tears start again as Rowan shudders. She heaves so hard she almost throws up, and Toebean jumps off her lap to avoid it.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She's not talking to her cat.

"I'm sorry, okay? I never wanted this. I just wanted to help, and now I can't even say your name because I'm afraid I'm going to go off the deep end even more than I already have. I'm a damn coward."

Her mind has gone back to second year when she said she'd never go to another vault. It may have been the right decision at the time, but she regrets it so much it causes a physical pain in her chest. Rowan thinks it may be her biggest regret in her whole life.

"I know I let you down. I know. I'm sorry. I was scared. I know you think I'm a worthless coward. I know you like your other friends more than me. I know! I just wish you had lied about it! That you had pretended you still loved me and needed me! I know I was annoying! I know I wasn't as useful as everyone else! I know! I keep saying the same things over and over again and I know that I am but you're not hearing me!"

Rowan is screaming. Toebean sits a short distance away, watching.

"You never listened! You never listened to me and now you never will! It didn't matter if I was right or not, because you wouldn't listen! You should have left it alone! Let the adults deal! I know they were incapable but at least you would have been safe and then I wouldn't have had to die! I don't care who else would have gotten hurt as long as you and I were okay! I'm a terrible person, alright? I just wanted us to be okay."

Her voice cracks on the last word and she stops screaming, panting. She shoves her hand in her hair and pulls. She scratches at her arms and claws at her chest. Nothing hurts her. She can't make her blood flow, can't leave a mark. Even launching herself out of a tall tree didn't hurt, which Rowan discovered - had it been yesterday? She can't remember. It's so infuriating.

"I want to go back."

It's a whisper, a miserable whisper.

"Let me start over. Let me be better. Even if keeping you safe means I'll have to make you hate me, I'll do it. Just let me start over."

Nothing happens. No god responds, no all powerful force resets time. Rowan is dead, and she can't go back no matter how much she wants to.

"I hate Rakepick for doing this. I hate Dumbledore for not stopping her. I hate Mad Eye Moody for not preparing you better. I hate your brother for getting you into this mess. I hate you for dragging me into it with you. I hate you so much but I don't actually hate you and that hurts more than hating everyone else does."

Toebean slowly creeps back over. Rowan sniffs and reaches out slightly.

"I'm not going to freak out again. Not right now."

Taking that as permission, Toebean settles back onto Rowan's lap. Rowan's right hand goes back into her cat's fur, her left fixing her glasses on her face. They stay silent for a long time, although time doesn't really matter anymore. It might be days they sit there, staring out into nothing, or it might only be seconds. Neither of them could say for sure. All Rowan does is stare, absently stroking Toebean's fur, and the cat simply lies there and offers silent support. Rowan's face shifts with her train of thought sometimes, but she doesn't speak aloud until the silence fully unnerves her.

"Do you think Grandpa knows where we are? Is he worried?"

Toebean doesn't answer.

"Do you think he and Grandma even care? How long does it take until you become numb to the living world? They don't react at all when I mention Mum and Dad. You'd think they would want to know what they've been up to, but they don't. They're perfectly content to be here and let the living world be as it is. How long did that take? For them to let go? Will I ever reach that point?"

Still, Toebean doesn't answer. Probably because she's a cat and cannot speak. Even without an answer, Rowan continues on.

"I guess I should be grateful I'm not a ghost like Duncan. He constantly seems miserable, from what I've heard, and he'll never be able to pass on. He'll never see anyone he loves ever again. At least I'll be here with my family and friends in the very end. No matter how far away that is. I miss them, but I hope it takes a long time. They all deserve to live and be happy."

Rowan sighs.

"I guess I didn't."

The silence stretches on again. No one is around to tell Rowan just how much she did deserve to live and be happy. That out of everyone, she deserved to live her life the most. No one is there to remind her just how much she means to everyone, and how much they miss her, and because no one can tell her, she doesn't believe it. She cries again, and again, but she doesn't let go. She just keeps trying to send her message out.

"I miss you."

Rowan was an incredible friend. She cared more than she let on, and she worried so much. She loved her friends with all she had, and it left her dead in a moment of impulse. Could she have stopped Rakepick, at least for a second? Yes, of course she could have, but what she did do shows just how big her heart is. Even if she and Ben never fully repaired their friendship, she still was so horrified at the thought of him dying that she jumped in front of him. She could have just run away, but instead, her fear driven impulse was to protect, and that means something. Rowan deserved better, so much better. She was not a throwaway friend. She was smart, brave, loyal, and ambitious. She could have fit perfectly in any house. If only she had lived, she could have done incredible things that no one else could have ever dreamed of. Like everyone, she had her bad moments. Her trust, once lost, was hard to earn back. She let anger get the best of her sometimes, and fear. Rowan was human. Humans are not perfect, but Rowan Khanna was closer than most. Rowan was wasted potential in every way, and no one should ever forgive the people who did this to her. Rowan Khanna will not be remembered as the girl who died, but rather the most incredible friend we've ever had. As we prepare to face R and fight this final battle, we must remember her and all she's worked for. We're doing this for her. It's the least we can do to repay her.

I miss you, Rowan. I wish I could tell you how much I miss you, and how much I love you. We'll win this fight for you, and no one will ever forget you. I promise I never will. Love, your best friend forever and ever.

Rowan's best friend can't sleep. It's not an unusual thing these days, but tonight it seems even more impossible. If they try hard enough, they can almost see her again, hear her voice. She's watching over them; they know she's watching. They'll make her proud.

"I miss you."

The two of them said it at the same time, but they'll never know that. Even so, saying it brings a small amount of comfort.

"I miss you so much."

There, in bed, in the dark, with a silencing charm around them and with the curtains drawn, Rowan's friend finally breaks down and weeps.

[hphmbang2020]

A Drunken Exchange

“Between all their spinning around they should be retching all over the place with all that alcohol in them, and after the first few times you would think they would be more careful not to fly into each other and hitting themselves bad, like quidditch injuries made by Rath bad. But no. They’re undeterred. And Badeea thinks there should be less trees in the training grounds. There’s already so few of them and yet, they still get constantly stuck on them. And the impulse needed to get them unstuck just sends them rocketing to the nearest castle wall. The very hard stone, uneven, dangerous castle walls. She should be getting paid for this.”

-

A collab me and @mervinamoonishere did for @hphmbang2020! It was a lot of fun and the accompanying fic they did is linked above!! It came out swimmingly :^D

[hphmbang2020]

Comfort In The Night

My part of the HPHM 2020 Bang! The art was done by @lunasilvermore​ ! 

@hphmbang2020​

Prompt: After Talbott is woken by a nightmare, the Ravenclaw boys try to distract him while coming up with a way to ease his nights.

Words: 4,077

Characters: Talbott Winger, Andre Egwu, Rowan Khanna, Ismelda Murk

After five straight hours of studying, Rowan’s head felt like it had been smashed a few dozen times by a stray bludger. His hand passed across his eyes as he rubbed them tiredly, knees pulled up into his chest as he stared blankly at the book in front of him. The Eradication Spell, page 334 of the Standard Book of Spells - grade five. Beside him were four other books stacked atop his bed. Advanced Potion Making, A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration, Numerology and Grammatica and A History of Magic. 

So much research. So much studying. But he had to do this… if he was ever going to become a Hogwarts Professor - the youngest Hogwarts Professor - he was going to have to do his very best. 

Rowan dragged his tired fingers down his face and turned to the other two boys in the room. “Does anyone remember the Transfiguration formula? To figure out the intended transfiguration difficulty?" 

Talbott lifted his head. "It’s wand power multiplied by concentration over viscosity times the weight of the object. And then that’s multiplied by the unknown variable.”

It wasn’t surprising to Rowan that Talbott know such a formula like the back of his hand. He was a master at transfiguration. “Thanks,” he breathed out, writing the formula quickly into his notes. T=w*c / v*a x Z

Andre yawned and fell backwards into his bed. It was littered with spare pieces of fabric that hung from the banisters and over the edges of his mattress. “Do you think passing your O.W.Ls is necessary to qualify as a designer?” He muttered under his breath.

“Probably not,” Rowan purred. “But it’s a good idea to have them under your belt anyways, in case it doesn’t work out for you.”

“Come on, Rowan, don’t say that! You know designing is my dream!”

Talbott snorted. “Three years ago, you said Quidditch was your calling.”

“I suppose fashion just called a little louder.”

“Whatever you say.”

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