hsvhippie

[hsvhippie]

We found lots of different places that offer parts of the process of overcoming the herpes stigma, but couldn’t find anything that clearly showed people how to get back on their feet. We hope this helps give you some ideas for getting to a place where you can own your status and live a completely normal life.

Don’t waste time, start making changes today.

Please let us know what you think.

Source: www.GoTruster.com

[hsvhippie]

HERPBLR Holiday Cards

Last year, around this time a member of the herpblr community started a holiday card exchange. They rounded up addresses from some herpblrs and we sent cards to each other.

I remember being so thrilled to get cards. I didn’t feel alone. I don’t remember the person who started this was, but if you see this post, I think we should do it again!

If you would like to participate, reblog and let me know! I’ll gather everyone’s addresses in a few weeks and send out a mass email of where to send the cards.

I was so excited to take part and I found the cute penguin glittery card. It made me so happy.

Spread the word and happy holidays :)

[hsvhippie]

Here I am almost a year later.

It took two complete days to settle from the shock and accept that I have herpes. I think I kept on this blog for maybe a month, because I was waiting to have an emotional relapse of some sort.

I haven’t cried about my herpes since the night I found out. I don’t feel sorry for myself, and most days I don’t even think about the fact that I’m positive.

Since April, I’ve had maybe 3 or 4 more outbreaks. My second OB was fairly painful, but nothing compared to the first. It lasted maybe three days and then I was back to normal. I take Lysine pills if I start to feel a tingle and I believe it helps to keep them at bay. I’ve gotten a few bumps here and there. I just apply ointment and I’m done.

I ended up telling a few more of my friends and they were very understanding. Crazy enough, 6 months later, one of those beautiful friends called to tell me she just found out she had it as well. I told her the first thing my (GHSV2+) friend told me “You’re not a piece of shit”.

I hope everyone who develops herpes hears those words. You. Are. Not. A. Piece. Of. Shit. You’re absolutely still the beautiful, amazing, wonderful person you always were. The first 24-48 hours are probably the worst. But once you do your research, dig into all the information you can find, and especially if you’ve found the herpblr community, you’re absolutely going to be just fine.

[hsvhippie]

The only 100%, foolproof “safe sex” there is, is no sex whatsoever. So to find yourself “smarter” or “better” than someone with an STD is downright cracked, sex shaming egotism.

(via herpesandhappy)

[hsvhippie]

The Ugly Side of Stigma: A Basic Bro’s Message to a Girl with Herpes. 

Today we received the most disturbing message we’ve seen since starting Truster to end the herpes (HSV) stigma. We’re posting with the hope you’ll share it to help elevate the conversation about stigma that needs to happen in our medically advanced society.

The text we received was from a friend in San Francisco that has herpes (HSV) and the bravery to disclose it on her public dating profiles. This takes remarkable courage because of the stigma and the ignorant people that fuel it.  

We were discussing her experience broadcasting the diagnosis on mainstream dating sites, when she paused the conversation, showed us the above unsolicited message she received back in April on a well-known dating service.

Note: We censored Basic Bro’s pic because we don’t personally attack people on the internet.

Ignoring the obvious critique of human behavior in the digital dating realm, we want to make two points about the herpes stigma inspired by this act of ignorance.

1. People that mock herpes don’t do the math.

If having herpes was a game in Vegas they would bet every single time that they had it. That’s because 80% of humans on Earth have some type of herpes (HSV). 1 in 5 people in the U.S. have it “down there”. Most people don’t know they have herpes because (a) they don’t have symptoms and/or (b) they have not been tested. The standard STD test does not usually include HSV because the only downside for the majority of people that test positive is the social stigma.

Yes, you need skin-to-skin contact to get herpes. Yes, having HSV-1 or HSV-2 means you can pass it to someone below the belt even without showing symptoms. And yes, condoms only reduce the chance of getting herpes 30-50%. The best way to avoid confusion with a partner is to talk about sexual health openly because herpes really isn’t a big deal.

We’re guessing Basic Bro doesn’t know the facts, and this is the crux of our first point. Stigma exists where information and understanding do not. To eliminate the stigma, we need to have conversations that embrace people’s situation rather than fearing health issues because fear drives the problem underground.  

2. Perpetuating the stigma hurts us all.

Stigma obviously hurts the people on the receiving end because they are forced to constantly think about their personal plight and social standing. Stigma can lead to depression, self loathing, and anxiety. By targeting someone that is so publicly vulnerable our Basic Bro revealed how sadly insecure and weak he is despite what he sees in the mirror. Stopping the stigma protects vulnerable people by disarming the Basic Bro’s of the world, it’s the right thing to do.

The less obvious impact of stigma is potentially the more damaging to all of us. It’s that in a rapidly advancing society, where the world is more connected every day, there’s no room for crippling societal norms that force great people to waste energy on personal struggles.

As a global society, we need people tackling hard problems and finding solutions that benefit us all. Stigma oppresses people and stifles their ability to contribute to the society that shuns them. A perfect example is the damaging affect gender, race, and sexual orientation stigmas have had and continue to have on the world. Stigma holds us all back by limiting the lives of some of our most capable people.

We’re are now speaking about stigma in general, but breaking down the herpes stigma is a great first step in the larger mission to stopping stigma around public health issues like depression, STDs, and addiction.  

Basic Bro is clearly sorting out his own issues, but his actions are a vicious reminder of how socially accepted stigmas hurt everyone. Health issues are or will become a reality for every one of us at some point in our lives, so to stigmatize any issue is short sided and ignorant.

Together we can and will stop stigma.  

Author’s note: We understand this article is prime for comments about - vegas + herpes, downplaying disease, fringe herpes horror stories, herpes jokes, #gymlife bros, and of course antisemitism/racism/homophobia because well, it’s the internet. Try to avoid falling into the “basic” category and keep it constructive or say nothing if you aren’t creative enough to contribute to conversation. Thank you for sharing.

[hsvhippie]

ok but if youre gonna support the idea of removing negative people and ending relationships that one no longer benefits from, you must also be willing and open to understanding why someone may do just that to you

[hsvhippie]

In their feminine form, STIs are what you get for sleeping around. But in their masculine form, STIs are what you get for sleeping with the wrong kind of women.

Sarit Luban, How STI Stigma Perpetuates Slut-Shaming

This article is everything I have needed to read for three years, and these two sentences cut me to the core.

(via brosandprose)

[hsvhippie]

Student loans are like herpes, the never go away and most of the people you meet have it.

[hsvhippie]

Breathe. You’re a mess. You don’t know what you want for dinner tonight and you don’t know who you are sometimes. It’s okay to lose yourself. It’s okay to be lost. Breathe.

note to self (via psych-facts)

[hsvhippie]

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.

Robert Holden (via quotemadness)

[hsvhippie]

honestly the best feeling ever is realizing you’re not sad anymore over something you thought you would never get over

[hsvhippie]

I contracted herpes two years ago. It’s not a big deal. The paranoia and panic around it is very unnecessary.

Ella Dawson (via stylelikeu)

[hsvhippie]

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

[hsvhippie]

3am

It’s 3am, I have herpes, and I’m still in love with my life.

I never knew I could have it this good.

[hsvhippie]

Hey Big Siblings and potential Big Siblings

I currently have a request specifically for a male Big Sibling. Currently there are not a lot of male Big Siblings signed up, and the ones that are signed up are currently matched up already. 

Are there any guys out there with HSV who would like to be a mentor for another guy who is new-ish to HSV? Or any male Big Siblings who wouldn’t mind taking on a second little sibling?

The list I currently have set up to match up people doesn’t have preferences for gender, but it does make sense that some people may feel more comfortable talking to someone of the same gender when discussing something that may affect their genitalia. If anybody has a preference like this when signing up, please let me know when you sign up and I’ll do my best to accommodate you.

[hsvhippie]

Four

-Sunday April 17th, 2016 On day two I told both of my best friends that I was hsv+. They both took it very well. We’ve been three best friends since we were four, so we don’t keep any secrets and are really big on encouraging each other to do whatever makes us happiest. We’re always saying things like, “be a slut, do whatever you want” and just basically encouraging and empowering each other in our personal sexual explorations and adventures. They agreed that it sucked, but were happy seeing how positive I was about it. They asked their own questions and realized it really wasn’t so bad. I’m quick to laugh at things to help make it all easier, so afterwards I spilled something and said “FUCK, I’m clumsy AND I have herpes” and we had a good laugh about how casual I want it to be. And I don’t want to make myself the butt of the joke, but I’m doing things that I know will work for me to make the conversation easier for everyone to bring up. To let them know that I’m okay with them having any questions and being okay talking about it whenever.

Afterwards I saw my guy friend who I’ve known for almost ten years. He’s GHSV2+. I’ve known for a while now, I think it’s been around 5 years for him. Something about it broke my heart though. I explained to him how it’s been easy for me to get over it, and how I want to talk about it and break the stigma, and make it an acceptable conversation for anyone. He told me he admired my gust about the whole situation, and how every. single. time he has had an unsuccessful disclosure. He told me stories of girls freaking out and being bitter about drinking off of him and that he hadn’t even slept with them and they just have a bad reaction every time. It’s sad because I haven’t been on tumblr long, but just searching the tags, I haven’t noticed many men involved in this community. And I think it is easier for women because I feel like men typically don’t mind so much. But for men and lesbians (and bisexuals/trans/whatever you identify with/everyone), I feel like I would expect women to not take it well. One of the first things he told me when I called him the night of my diagnosis was “no matter what, you’re not a piece of shit, I battled with that for a long time.” and that was the thing that made me keep doing research. Because he’s right. It doesn’t make you a piece of shit and it breaks my heart to know people are battling with that. All you lovely ladies, but all you beautiful, wonderful men too! I just feel like at this point it’s my mission to inform as many women as possible. My friend is an incredible guy and he deserves love and I need every man and woman to know that.

(sidenote: I would never seriously call a girl a slut. I don’t care who you are, you should be free to have sex however and whenever you want, no stipulation, as long as you’re being careful and doing the right things. And also I don’t mean to offend anyone’s identity/who they choose to date. I just want everyone to be happy and healthy and continue being lovely and have an amazing sex life because you all deserve it!)

[hsvhippie]

Shout out to the people living with an STD/STI

You are not gross or a slut or unloveable. You are beautiful, strong, valid and very much loved.

Stop the fucking stigma! 👊🏻