http-chris

[http-chris]

i’m le.arning so many rules toda📝y

[http-chris]

GOG is taking a stand against payment processors caving to fundamentalist religious groups and is offering a bunch of "banned" games for free. (via Ashley Lynch on bsky)

[http-chris]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[http-chris]

most notable times of being hit on by customers:

guy who tried to impress me with card tricks and failed every single one of them

old man who attempted to get my number when his wife walked away and slipped me his email address ending with “@ aol.com” when i said i don’t do that

cute gay couple that came back to tell me i was cute and then called the shop to ask me out

older professor who i talked to about folklore and told me he dressed as a wizard for recitals saying “this is really embarrassing but umm.. i’d love to get to know you more..” and gave me a receipt with his email address on it

dude in his 40s asking me on a movie date and me saying yes but then he kept starting text conversations with “ahoi hoi”

military guy who said it’d be hot if i killed him with a baseball bat

most notable time a customer did not ask me out:

a man who i knew had a wife and children getting really flustered and saying “um. ive been, uh.. idk if you remember me but um. i come in here a lot and ive uhhh haha umm ive been wanting to ask you for a couple weeks now.. um. have you read the green lantern issue i recommended??????”

[http-chris]

My super cool AU where the soul gains a voice after enabling mic settings, and it and Kris spend the rest of the chapter cussing each other out.

[http-chris]

[http-chris]

Driving around my town trying to find one single burger just one burger or a hot dog but Unfortunately everythings just rubble and twisted scaffolding upstretched and rotting and theres shit on fire and a big black ass sky

[http-chris]

Repost on this account lol

lalllalalala

[http-chris]

Usually south park's relevancy feels very fake and surface level to me, but it's really something how trump and his base are actually, visibly much more enraged by this than they've been about any other criticism, any other show, any other enemy I've seen in the entire near-decade of his political career. Fucking South Park got to them more than the combined effort of a million other comedians, journalists, parodies, academic criticisms or protest efforts. Like it's BAD. Like they want the creators in prison and want to consider this a hate crime.

[http-chris]

bonus ver

[http-chris]

never forget what they took from us.

[http-chris]

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

[http-chris]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[http-chris]

We could've been friends way before

[http-chris]

The Cage is Broken

And the Girl found Love

[http-chris]

[http-chris]

truly from the bottom of my heart i hate the level of enshittification etsy has reached because it's still the best place to buy patterns for my hobby and every time i go scrolling through endless ai-generated bullshit to finally dig up a human-designed pattern i like, i'm hit with a deluge of 'popular!! 563 people are looking at this right now!! it's in 134632 baskets!! you must buy immediately!!!' it's a pdf file. it's a fucking pdf file. do you get off on trying to give people fomo over a fucking pdf file. fuck off. get diarrhea forever.