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[http-skzhyuns]

two in the morning [l.dh]

lee haechan, angst warnings: mentions of anxiety, negligence on one’s health genre: angst, comfort  words: idk... short?? lol  note: idk anymore, i know it’s been an awfully long time since i wrote in this blog haha, things are hard. i hope everyone is doing well tho, stay safe.

—

“hyuck... are you awake?” you whispered in the dark. you’re met with silence. “‘kay” you whispered to yourself before going back to your room and proceeded to shifting in the bed... again.

however, after tossing and turning for the past thirty minutes, you decided to get a glass of warm milk before trying to fall asleep again.

you quietly walked to the kitchen and had a glimpsed of donghyuck sprawled on the sofa bed in the living room, his right leg dangling off the sofa.

you smiled to yourself at the sight before going back to your business and stealthily opening the fridge, turning on the microwave and setting the timer on. it was quite the task, knowing how much of a light sleeper hyuck can be.

after pressing the start button, you found yourself zoning out again. it’s the same situation. you would zone out during the last few weeks because you have a lot on your mind — mainly about your work though. it’s been a stressing scenario you find yourself being in these past few days.

frankly speaking, you almost collapsed in relief by the time friday came, and today is the first day of the weekend. there were so many things to do with your work and today, you’re supposed to be relaxing, according to donghyuck. but, you found it hard to do so when your work and home life seems to be mixing up due to the current set-up. hyuck warned you about your developing bad eating habits of missing meals and not checking the time. 

you sighed before getting startled by the sound of the microwave. you settled in the bar stool, quietly drinking your glass of milk while lost in thought again.

the events following your little midnight mission was a blur, you vaguely remember finishing your glass before setting down on the sink and going back to your room, making sure that you’re not making noise loud enough to wake donghyuck. after all, he was also tired from his work. 

unfortunately, you found out your mission failed as soon as you heard a faint knock on your door. it startled you for a second, a couple of terrifying scenarios running through your head. however, haechan’s sleepy voice drifted through the cracks of your door, and you found your body relaxing, feeling at home already at the voice of haechan’s voice alone. 

“come in, it’s open,” you whispered back, sitting up and leaning back on your headboard.

“was it you i heard a few seconds ago, in the kitchen?” he asked.

you nodded shyly, letting out a soft chuckle. “did i wake you? i’m so sorry.” 

“nah, it’s fine. i thought it was a ghost or something, for a moment there,” he sleepily laughed, before walking to your bed and landing by your feet.  

you shook your head at his antics, “come here already.” you pat the space next to you. he groaned as he crawled up to the space beside you before dropping his head on your lap. you unconsciously dragged your hand to his soft hair, absentmindedly running your fingers through it and you heard him sigh in relief upon doing so. 

“i missed you this week, how are you?” he sleepily asked. your smile dropped and was replaced with a frown.  “i was here the whole time, hyuck.” 

“i know, but i barely see you. i told you, please ease up on the strict deadlines you’re setting on yourself,” he lightly lectured, voice muffled by your skin. 

“...” donghyuck was met with silence which prompted him to look up and back to your face.  “... what’s wrong?” he asked, seeing how the emotions change based on your facial expressions. “... you know i can’t. i have to constantly make sure that i bring out the best and present the best in the company,” the quiet reply made haechan sit up, scooting closer to you. he looked at you intently, his eyes holding warmth and comfort.  “... i know, okay? of course, you have to do your job. all i’m saying is that you don’t have to feel like your worth depends on your work performance, love.” he caressed your cheek, seeing the beginning of pooling tears in your eyes. “you don’t have to beat yourself up every single time that something goes wrong, you don’t think i see you?” he continued. you played your fingers, fidgeting and trying to stop your sobs from coming out.  “-- sometimes, i would peek inside your office, and i would see you slumped forward. sometimes, i see you breaking down in tears when it becomes too much. i hate seeing you like that because i feel like the stress is eating you,” he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead before resting his own and looked straight to your eyes. 

“... i grew up feeling like my achievements is the basis of my worth, it’s not that easy,” you peered at him. finally losing to the onslaught of tears and emotions, you found yourself crying and sobbing into his chest.  “i know, that’s why i’m here aren’t i? i’ll be here to remind you how precious you are, as a person, time and time again. always.” 

[http-skzhyuns]

desperation | part five

♡Genre(s): some fluff, a tiny bit of angst, mutual pining, fake dating au, high school au, exes to lovers au

♡Pairings: hwang hyunjin x reader, han jisung x hwang yeji

♡Word count: 2.6k

♡Warnings: cursing, slightly suggestive at the end

♡Synopsis: after your failed attempt at confessing to Jisung, and his revelation that he was already seeing someone, you decide to fake date Hwang Hyunjin, your ex boyfriend, the brother of the girl Jisung likes, and also the person that Jisung hates most. Everything seems to go according to plan, until you realized that maybe your past feelings for Hyunjin were never gone.

♡Taglist: @leggomylino @skz-c1ty @soleilsuhh @mincat-supremacy @unexceptional-h @skzooo @unbothered-soul @zenzedana @starry-paris @jaerisdiction @thonkingdeepo @briannasthings @justbored48 @changbinscypher @http-hyxnjxn @neverstaynever @geniejunn @crispy-chan @ninjaleeknow @mooni-a-multi @oh-my-sparkle @apricotly @itsallaboutclassic @hyunjun-jpeg @pimpnameyannie @glitteryskzstraykidsdream @ssswwwatiny @thegracerammy @ijeekies @twnklbb @itsyaapollochild

♡Unable to tag: @straytannies @yunho-leeknow @kxxhanii @pinkandwhitefrostedanmlcrks @jihyuni

♡If you wish to be added to my taglist, just send an ask or a DM <333

♡Note: i wrote this in one sitting while listening to the coconut mall song from mario kart for the past TWO HOURS i’m gonna go insane this song is starting to annoy me lmao. there will also probably be some grammar and spelling mistakes :/ (again)

♡previous/masterlist/next♡

———-

“Dude, you actually got the BTS meal? I thought you were kidding.”

“I never kid about McDonald’s.”

Hyunjin chuckled at the reply, munching on a fry as you sat at his desk, grabbing yourself a chicken nugget. You looked around Hyunjin’s room, the same posters and pictures hung up on the walls surrounding you. The only difference were the LED lights that were now hung up along the line of the ceiling. Now, they were placed on white, which hurt your eyes if you looked at them for too long.

“Okay, so I was thinking we could do face masks, and I also brought…” you trailed off, digging through your backpack. Hyunjin looked at you curiously, his head tilted to the side, his mouth full of chicken nuggets and the taste of cajun sauce. 

“Nail polish!” you exclaimed, triumphantly showcasing the tiny bottles in your hand. “I only brought a couple though,” you continued with a small frown. 

“Well what colors do you have?” Hyunjin asked, after swallowing his food with a sip of sweet tea. “Well, I brought black because I thought you would wanna wear that one the most, but just in case, I also brought purple, pink, blue, and red!”

“So which one do you wanna do?”

“Why’re you asking me, you’re the one that’s supposed to pick.”

“You’re the artist, pick whichever one you want,” he shrugged. 

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[http-skzhyuns]

can you do angst for changbin and y/n please? maybe fluff at the end. thank youuu :D

hiya anon!!! sorry i didn’t see this earlier, but your request is posted. thank you for making this request :> stay safe!

[http-skzhyuns]

apologies | changbin - angst

requested, changbin x y/n [angst + fluff] 

word count: 1.8k+  warnings: explicit description of anxiety, breakdowns — please tell me if i forgot to add anything in the warnings.  a/n: to the one who requested, i’m not sure how long ago you made the request bec i rarely check my tumblr. i’m so sorry but here it is. :) i haven’t written in so long. thank you for making the request. also, i think i got carried away with the angst, i hope the short fluff at the end was what you’re looking for. :< i didn’t proofread this and before we start, just wanna thank u all for the 100 followers!! stay safe :) start. 

you could see the stars shining from where you are sat, moving in a new country with an entirely different culture has made you anxious. but this, the view in your apartment is your favorite. it’s enough to take away the need to fiddle with your hands and to unconsciously tap your feet whenever you get the chance. the autumn breeze is cold but it’s bearable, nonetheless, you find yourself wrapping your cardigan tightly around your torso, trying to soak in the extra warmth that the fabric can provide.  a sudden shrill of ringtone startled you away from your lingering thoughts. smiling at the nickname displayed in your screen, you swiped to answer the call.  “y/n! hello baby,” changbin’s face appeared in your screen, smiling widely at you. you chuckled at his overt enthusiasm, “hello there, love.”  “are you settled in? do you need anything?” your smile faltered for a few seconds but changbin didn’t seem to notice. “nothing, love. i’m all good. don’t worry.”  “i’m sorry i can’t drop by there tonight,” you can hear the rustle on his end and the muted screams of jisung in the background.  “got stuck on a melody?” you asked softly. there’s a long sigh on his end before he answered, “yeah. it’s not working out as smoothly as we expected.”  “don’t worry about it, bin. i’m fine here, i’m good for a few days so you don’t need to worry about me. just do your thing, it’ll come to you, guys. give it time, i just know it’s going to be a great song once it’s done,” you attempted to lift his spirits up, but you genuinely believe it’s going to work out in the end.  your words were met with silence, concern started to grow until you hear him clear his throat. 

“... i love you,” he whispered. you smiled, “i love you too, now, go back there. don’t forget to get some rest even just for a bit, tell the boys the same thing too, okay? have a good night, binnie.” you saw him nod, a sign that he heard you, he waved and you waved goodnight.  the screen turned black signaling that the call ended. you sighed, putting your phone down beside you before pulling your legs up to your chest before resting your arms around them.  “it’s okay, he’ll be home soon.”

day four, no signs of activity. you begrudgingly dragged yourself out of the bed. another work day, another day to make sure you don’t get in other people’s way. you sipped from your cup of coffee while checking your phone for any message from changbin.

“good morning, y/n.”

it was simple, straightforward and you shook off the crawling feeling on your skin. it’s okay.

you texted back a good morning before picking your things up to actually get ready for the day.

“y/n! come over here,” your supervisor called. you resisted the urge to curl your fingers into your palm, digging into the skin as you nervously walked over to her desk.

“y/n, did you check this over before you submitted?” she started and you can feel a thousand scenarios running through your head and you find yourself picking it all apart, wondering if you really did check it over or there’s a lapse in your memory.

after careful consideration, you answered, “yes, ma’am.” she sighed, before carefully pulling you over. she showed her file before patiently pointing out the mistakes in the report you turned over.

there’s a momentary relief that coursed through you after you closed the door to her office. you find yourself dragging your feet as you walk back to your desk.

“tough day?” your co-worker asked when he noticed the sluggish movement you’ve been making.

you sheepishly shook your head, “i’m alright.” he looked at you for a second longer before nodding to himself.

when the night time comes, you absentmindedly hid your shoes inside the cabinet by the door of your apartment. you briefly glanced at your window to see that the sky is pitch dark and devoid of the shining stars you love so much.

another sigh. 10PM. a groan left your mouth.

you covered your face with your hands, roughly running them through your hair out of frustration.

the sound of keys started growing louder before your door opened. in comes, seo changbin, walking in with his backpack, clad in a black hoodie and a sweatpants. however, you remained seated in the small couch.

“y/n? are you home?” he asked. you grunted in reply but you doubt he would have heard it.

“there you are, i missed you,” he went for a hug but you narrowly dodged his attempt.

his brows furrowed in confusion, “hey? you’re okay?”

you nodded, looking down before standing up and going straight to the bathroom.

there’s a heaviness in the air, changbin isn’t sure what it is and what’s wrong. he was so sure you were okay. you were okay through your messages for the past few days.

whatever it is, he’ll let you come to him when you’re ready. and so, he got started on making dinner. he was about to put the food into a plate and set the table when he heard a hard thud from the bathroom, followed by clanking of several things — what he assumed to be toiletries on your counter.

rushing over, he quickly turned off the stove and went to knock on your door.

“y/n? baby?” nobody answered. he knocked for the second time, more insistent.

“y/n? is everything okay?” silence filled the space… until he heard a faint rustling on the other side and the soft click of the door met his ears.

the sight of you nearly broke him to pieces. for some reason, he didn’t notice how off you’ve been feeling the last few days because you were so good at maintaining your composure in front of other people.

but, you, standing there in front of him. your shoulders hunched while you’re covered by your bathrobe— there’s a sense of emptiness in your eyes. his eyes flicked back in forth between you and the mess behind you— just as he guessed, your toiletries clattered on the floor.

“i’m sorry,” you apologized, looking at him straight in the eye.

changbin inhaled sharply, wondering what’s the reason for your apologies. “what happened? were you hurt?” he asked, gently coaxing you into his arms.

you buried your head in his chest, tightly clinging onto his shirt as the first sob tore through your throat. changbin can feel the rising panic in him because he can’t still pinpoint the reason and the situation that just took place in the bathroom. despite all this, he tightened his arms around you, keeping you enclosed in his body as he run his hands through your damp hair.

“what’s wrong? why are you sorry?” he asked, calmly. the second sob came followed by a third, until you’re full-on weeping in his arms, softly muttering a series of “i’m sorry”.

after a while, you whispered,“i’ll clean it up, i’m fine now. thank you.” you loosened your grip on his hoodie but he tightened his hold on you. “come here,” he said and pulled you to the adjacent kitchen area. he made you sit on a stool before looking straight in your eye.

“you’re not okay…” he whispered. “i can see that you’re not okay. so please, quit telling yourself that you are. i’m here, aren’t i? what’s wrong?” there’s warmth in his eyes and you feel an onslaught of tears for the second time today, just by the sight of it.

“i-“ you stuttered. “i’m s—“ changbin held his finger up, shushing you. “don’t apologize. if you’re apologizing for not being okay. please, i don’t want to hear it, love. you don’t have to apologize for that.” you fiddled with your hands in nervousness.

“…there’s a lot…” you breathed in, trying to work through the tears and the anxiety, “there’s so many things happening, so many people to get accustomed to…” you faltered, trying to smile at him to ease the heaviness of your words. “it’s so hard,” you looked down, finally allowing the tears to copiously fall.

in the years you’ve been together, changbin have always admired you for being able to hold down your fort. you were calm and grounded, even at the most toughest times. but he knows, deep down the ‘strength’ was something that you developed because of expectation. because people expected you to be strong and they needed you to be.

changbin placed his hands on your cheeks, making you lift your head up to him before placing a lingering kiss on your forehead.

“stop,” he smiled at you. “it’s okay to stop being strong, you know? it’s okay to stop taking the weight of everything and telling yourself that you can take it.” you shook your head, ready to disagree.

“it wasn’t a good week, there’s a lot of things going wrong, i wasn’t adjusting as well as i thought i would. i turned in an incorrect report today,” you babbled, spilling everything that happened for the past few days you didn’t get to see him.

“…i’m just so tired,” you looked at him, frowning from the heaviness in your chest.

“… and that’s okay,” he whispered. “baby, it’s okay to let things go. there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you can’t take it, that you’re not okay.”

“but, i didn’t want to be a burden…” you whispered. and for the second time that night, changbin felt his heart constrict at the words that left your mouth.

“baby, you’re not a burden. don’t ever think that you are,” he firmly replied, prompting you to look him in the eye, making sure you understand what he’s saying. you nodded and he smiled, satisfied before peppering your face with kisses.

“the next time you start feeling like this, can you please tell me? i want to know so i can help, in whatever way i can, okay? don’t take it on to yourself and try to sweep it under a rug.” you nodded and he went for another hug before letting you go, “go and get changed. you’re practically dry now. i’ll pick up your things in the bathroom,” you looked at him grateful for his help and comfort.

“have i ever told you how much i love you?” you softly asked. he smiled, “not enough times today, i think.”

“we have to rectify that, don’t we?” you joked.

“yeah, because i need my love to be reciprocated or else, i won’t give you the food i cooked,” he let out a boisterous laugh.

“… binnie, i love you. thank you,” you walked over to his place, pulling him for a kiss.

“always here for you, baby. i love you too. now go get changed, the food’s cold,” he went for another chaste kiss before waving you away.

[http-skzhyuns]

i’m gonna start writing again, ☕️.

[http-skzhyuns]

Scarred

Genre: Angst,

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, depression, suicidal behaviour/attempt, drugs, alcohol, cursing

Request: No

Member: Chan

“Oh shit,” you giggle to yourself as you wobble precariously on the edge of a railway line, your heavy booted feet skidding against the wet metal. Biting your lip, you hop to the other side of the train track, adrenaline being the only thing your numb body can feel as you continue your dangerous journey down the track.

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[http-skzhyuns]

stray kids’ reactions to their s/o having a bad relationship with their parents ↠ all members

genre: reaction, angst, hurt/comfort word count: 3k warnings: brief descriptions or mentions of verbal/emotional/physical abuse, emotional manipulation, dysfunctional family relationships, alcoholism, swearing request: yes a/n: to the one who requested this: i hope that, if you have a dysfunctional or abusive relationship with your parents, you’re able to leave the environment safely. or, that the behavior changes or stops soon. make sure that you have somewhere safe you can go and at least one other person you can talk to and who can help you. be safe, darling!

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

↠↞

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[http-skzhyuns]

i don't know if this weird but can i request a bangchan x reader scenario while she's having a very awful period pain? maybe fluff with a teeny winnie of angst. if it's appropriate for you. thank you in advanced xx - 🍰 anon

hello 🍰 anon!! i’m so sorry it took so long but i finally posted your request not sure if it fits what you’re looking for but i hope it did kwwhbejejw stay safe and a have a great day/evening!! :))

[http-skzhyuns]

request | bang chan scenario

  bang chan scenario | unedited  words: 1200+ genre: fluff with a dash of angst warnings: swear words, ig.  requested by:  🍰 anon!!! | thank you, anon! sorry it took a VERY VERY long time to write this. i hope it justified your request haha a/n: i still take requests, my asks are always open. :]   you glared intently at your blank notebook.  you’ve staring at it for the past thirty minutes trying to figure out the best way to write down your notes; the flow of information and adding a small visualization here and there are the key points in making an effective note taking process for you. alas, you’re having no such luck. you winced when you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen. your period just started, in fact, you almost forgot about it amidst all the chaos of adjusting with the current situation of the world. forgetting means not being prepared. hence, your necessities rack are empty. this raises a new bout of frustration that you aren’t sure you know how to deal with. you ended up lightly hitting your forehead on the table when you leaned down to rest your head. damn mood swings and menstrual cramps. you muttered under your breath. the table vibrated when your phone rang, creating an uncomfortable sensation. chan ♡ y/n, are you free today? you groaned, knowing full well you’re not going to be a good host if he comes over. to: chan ♡ i’m sorry, bub. rain check? chan ♡ u ok? is there something wrong? his message brought a smile to your face and gave temporary relief until you felt another sharp pain which prompted you to groan out loud. to: chan ♡ i’m okay. i think... i’m sorry :((( you feel like absolute shit and you wanted to see chan so badly but you don’t want him to see you like this nor do you want him to put up with your unreasonable mood changes today. chan ♡ i think i understand what’s going on. can i come over? i won’t if you really don’t want me to. to: chan ♡ ... please do. i miss your hugs. might need a dozen of them... or a hundred tight hugs. chan ♡ see you soon. wait for me. you put down your phone and bask on the feeling of the cool wooden table against your forehead. this sucks. before you know it, chan is gently rousing you awake. donned in his black hoodie and sweatpants, his dimpled smile stood out the most. “come on, bub. your back’s probably killing you after that nap and well, you get back aches when you’re on your period...” he trailed off, lost in his train of thought. you stretched for a bit before wrapping your arms around his shoulders and linking your fingers behind his head. now trapped in your arms, chan’s smile never faltered instead, it grew wider. you pecked him on the cheek. “how did you know i’m on my period?” you asked him. “uh... well? i keep track of it?” he trailed off. you just stared at him blankly. “uhm... not so much as keeping track of it, i just remembered that you have your period around the third week. you seemed off so i figured that must’ve been it.” “no need to explain yourself. i’m just really really glad you’re here. i apologize in advance for anything unreasonable that i might do today though,” you whispered, nuzzling your head on the juncture between his head and shoulders. his chest moved when he chuckled. “i bought you some things. i put the pads i bought on your rack and there’s ice cream on the fridge. how are you feeling?” “honestly? like shit. but, everything’s better since you’re here.” chan coaxed you into standing. “come on, let’s move from here. it’s uncomfortable.” all is well, well, as well as it can go considering how shitty you’re feeling, until you stood up and remembered what you’re grumbling about a few minutes ago. true to chan’s prediction, your back is flaring and screaming for you to lay it on a comfortable mattress. your menstrual cramps are back with a vengeance and you’re not sure whether you’re about to pass out from the pain or is it the end for you. chan looked at you worriedly. “you’re pale as a ghost, y/n. is this normal? do you need to go see a doctor?” you weakly waved him off, “i’m fine. it happens sometimes, i haven’t had a bad menstrual cramps like this in a while.” “come on, i’ll carry you instead. hold on to me, okay?” you only nodded in reply, resting your head tiredly on his shoulder. you felt your body sink into your bed mattress. that feels better, you thought to yourself. “you’re an angel, christopher,” you thanked him. he waved it off, telling you he’ll be at the kitchen. his voiced faded in the background as you fall back into a comfortable sleep. hours later, you found yourself alone in your bedroom. looking at your bedside table, the clock read five in the afternoon. feeling a tad bit better, you decided to get up to roam around and look for chan. it only took about ten steps before you realized your judgment was wrong all along. before you know it, a wave of dizziness washed over you and your eyesight blurred for a long minute. you can make out the outline of chan’s figure as he popped in your doorway. chan immediately runs to your side when he saw you stagger. it was a great timing for him to decide on checking up on you right in this moment or else he would probably find you on the floor. “woah there. take it easy. why don’t you sit down, babe?” he ushered you to your desk chair which is nearest to you. “sorry. i felt better so i thought i’d walk around.” “how are you feeling?” “i don’t even have a word to describe it.” “want me to get a hot compress bag for you?” “yes please.” after a few minutes, chan came back with his arms full. he brought the compress bag, some snacks and drinks. you looked at him confused. “... where’s your laptop? we’re watching a movie,” he answered your silent question. you pointed at your table. you watched chan adoringly as he sets up your laptop for your movie night. when he went back to your side on your bed. you immediately snuggled up to his side and he put his arms around you. “i brought you a ton of sandwiches.” you gratefully accepted it and munched on it while peacefully enjoying the movie. three movies after and you found yourself using chan’s lap as a pillow while his back rests on your headboard. you’ve also shed quite a few tears over movie scenes you don’t usually cry over. “thank you, chan. i know i might be quite a handful today.” “shut up. i like taking care of you. you don’t give me enough chances to pamper you like this,” he smiled before bending down to kiss your forehead. “but, you’re tired from your schedules,” you said. “doesn’t matter. you need my help and i’ll be glad to lend a helping hand.” you gestured for him to lean down again and when he did, you gently kissed him. “you’re not as scary as you made it out to be when you’re on your period,” he joked. “you’re just lucky,” you retorted. chan laughed and his hands gently caressed your cheek before running his fingers through your hair in a repeated ministration.

[http-skzhyuns]

cr*cc fic + unedited | the mischief brothers come to gate-crash  a/n: i haven’t been writing bc this pandemic made me pretty unstable. this has been sitting in my drafts for months. i still take suggestions and requests in my asks, writing time might take longer though. if anybody wants to talk, i’m also up for it haha. i hope everyone is doing well. stay safe xx you looked at donghyuck, dead in the eye. he returned your gaze, the mischief swirling in his orbs. there is a safe distance between the both of you -- with you behind the kitchen counter and him, trying to shield himself from any of your incoming attacks with the chairs in the dining area.

yangyang stood not too far away, a broom in his hand, ready to fight for his life if need be.

it’s a picture that perfectly depicts the chaos that is currently happening inside your apartment.

yangyang and donghyuck decided to randomly crash into their next-door neighbor’s house. to your surprise, they busted into your home while skipping and humming to themselves. this prompts you to stare at their figure at the doorway, mid-shoving popcorn and wearing your pajama ensemble of ratty t-shirts and sweatpants.

while it was definitely a surprise visit, it wasn’t the reason for the current situation.

the three of you were mindlessly fighting over who gets to eat the last fry. it was no surprise that the food delivery was wiped out in an hour. however, there is one last tiny fry in the box.

“i get to have it! i paid for it!” you helplessly yelled.

“no, we’re younger than you. your kind heart must give it to us as a form of taking care of us, isn’t that right, yangyang?” hyuck appealed to the youngest.

you knew it, you should’ve known it from that moment you heard them snickering to themselves and whispering back and forth as if they’re conspiring together.

hell, you should’ve known it with all the time you spent with them as their neighbor. donghyuck and yangyang agreeing into something is simply put... a recipe for incoming disaster.

you know, at this point, it doesn’t even matter at all if you cried and bawled your eyes out in front of them. after all, they split the small fry into two and shared it.

hence, the growing anger that is brewing in the air. mostly, it comes from you but the mischief brothers are fueling it.

“y/n! give up already! we enjoyed the treat!” yangyang screamed from the doorway.

you switched your deadly gaze to him, quietly watching him.

“thank you for the fries,” donghyuck goaded with his smug smile. you ended up sprinting to him first.

he bolted out of your way, laughing hysterically which heightens your ire. “yangyang, get ready. she’s coming after you,” hyuck warned before hiding somewhere within the vicinity.

you stared at yangyang and his random weapon of choice. “don’t come any closer, this is your favorite broom, isn’t it? you don’t want it to break or something,” he said.

“dude, i don’t have a favorite broom,” you stopped in front of him, looking at him ridiculously. 

“oh really? guess i’m wrong then,” he threw the broom before darting out of your sight.

“y/n, this is why i keep telling you to stop sitting on the sofa all the time. i heard your joints creaking earlier,” hyuck said, whether it’s a taunt or a word of advice you aren’t sure. 

“damn, i hate you two. i swear, i’ll never let you in this house ever again.” you huffed, before plopping down in the sofa, pressing on the play button.

“come out already! the movie’s resuming!” you yelled and no sooner than later, the two emerged, smiling.

you rolled your eyes at them, “this is why ten complains to me sometimes.”

“eh? it’s not like hyung’s entirely innocent. kun-hyung and taeyong-hyung are about to lose their minds whenever we’re in the same room as him,” yangyang retorted.

you laughed, “i feel sorry for them. tell them, if they need any help, i’ll come running for them. must have been tough.” you shook your head. 

“hey! we’re not that bad,” hyuck said, mock offended.

you just sent the both of them a deadpan look.

“yeah, i guess there’s this one time i knocked over the clothing rack and it fell apart...”

the three of you continued to watch the movie in silence.

three movies finished and yangyang began rummaging through your refrigerator.

“hey, y/n? there’s fries in your fridge...”

you and donghyuck turned to look at him and saw him holding up a bag of uncooked fries.

“oh.”

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i genuinely miss writing and talking -- overall, just being in here

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[01] — you leave comments on ten’s live

unedited.

“ten, please notice me” you clicked send, while grinning ear to ear.

you’re in his room while he does his live in the living room. he’s been online for the past 30 minutes, and you have been watching it ever since you received the notification on your phone. you decided to leave comments, just for fun, knowing fully well that he probably won’t be able to read it given the onslaught of comments from everyone. none of his fans are aware of your account though, since you barely use this one and you’ve only use it to post outdoor photos.

“ten, you look great!” you pressed send again, giggling to yourself.

“how are you doing, ten??”

You can see ten as he fumbles around in the living room. at the moment, he’s playing with leon and louis. you can see how he scrunched his brows in frustration when both cats refused to listen to him. you suppressed your laughter for fear that it might leaked through the walls and be heard through his own live.

ten adores the cats, you can go as far as saying he loved them more than he loves you. probably

“louis and leon are cute and are such good boys, lol” you typed.

“TEN! i love you.”

however, a few minutes after you sent the last comment, ten spoke. he was saying goodbye as he ended the live, asking for everyone to take care of themselves. you stare at the home page of your own account. lost in your thought, you didn’t even noticed when ten barged into the room and throwing himself to the bed.

“you think i didn’t see your comments?” he asked, his voice muffled by his comforter.

you hummed, scrolling through your phone again.

“you sent quite a lot,” he lifted his head up before grinning at you.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“yeah, just wanna say, i love you too.” he replied, before planting his face back to his bed.

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w-what should i write about?

[http-skzhyuns]

a lee haechan drabble; fluff intertwining your fingers for the first time a/n: pretty much cliché but I’m here for some soft hyuck fic, it’s unedited tho. if there’s any request you want me to write, the asks are open all the time :]  

--

your eyes anxiously wandered around your surroundings, checking whether there’s anybody looking. finding no one, you breathed a sigh of relief. after all, it’s only been a few days since you started dating lee haechan, the son of a big-shot CEO and also, the guy that almost all girls in your school fawned over.

in the short time you’ve known him, you’ve come to realize how much he hates the attention. he would plaster a smile in front of the crowd but he would exhale in exasperation as soon as he’s out of sight.

currently, the two of you are huddled in the corner of a dilapidated shed at the back of the school. it’s dingy and definitely messy – there’s a pile of fallen leaves and overgrown grass, even the short bench you’re sitting on seemed on the verge of falling apart. but, it’s haechan’s safe haven and he trusted you enough to share it with you.

“you okay?” you asked him, unconsciously fidgeting at the awkward atmosphere.

he smiled at you wearily, gone are the cheeky smiles and outgoing energy, as if the moment he stepped into the area, it seeped out of him and into the soil you’re stepping on.

“yes, i am. just tired, i was up all night studying and just don’t have the energy to put up with huge crowd of strangers today,” he said, the wall behind him creaking as he leaned against it.

“i wish i could help you though, i mean, i don’t know how but i hope there’s anything i can do,” you sighed, frustrated at the circumstances.

your relationship hasn’t been made public yet. that’s why, the both of you are settling on this kind of meetings in a quiet, secluded place.

“it’s fine, i kinda like this peaceful atmosphere,” he said, smiling at you. it was enough to dissolve the awkwardness in the air.

“… perhaps, there’s something that i could do,” he pondered, his lips curving into the handsome smirk you’ve grown to like.

confused, you almost froze when you felt his warm hand touching your palm. his warmth spreading through your hand as he gently intertwined your hands – the warmth spread from palm onto yours and through your fingertips. you stared at your now tightly clasped hands, flustered by the sudden move.

haechan held your gaze, looking at you and watching your reaction, his smile seemingly cemented to his features. he quickly took his phone out of his pocket with his unoccupied hand, hastily capturing a photo of your clasped hands before smiling at you cheekily.

“can i post this?” the child-like attitude resurfacing right in front of you. you gaped at him in surprise.

“you know, you’re basically announcing the relationship if you post that, don’t you?” you asked him surprised. you’re not against the thought, you don’t really mind. although, it’ll definitely garner various reactions from the people around you.

“y/n, that’s the purpose!” he sighed exasperatedly, as if you’re dumb for even saying that.

“lee haechan, you’re insufferable!” you clicked your tongue, your eyes turning into slits after his comment. however, you both busted out in laughter after a few seconds. the warmth of his hands remains, it’s presence making itself known to you by calming you down.

[http-skzhyuns]

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To all my black followers and friends, stay safe.

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be there | skz b.c

a bang chan scenario; heavy angst/fluff warnings: anxiety/panic, depressive themes, mild swearing, mentions of self-hatred, implication of self-harm words: 2k+

a/n: please tell me if there’s something i forgot in the warnings. this is unedited, i haven’t been feeling great for a while now, so i guess, this one is more of a self-indulgent/pep-talk fic or smth. if you have any request or would like to interact, my asks are open :) please remember that if you needed someone to talk to, i’m willing to listen. x 

―

you’ve been spending your whole week inside your apartment. most times, you allow the time to pass by laying on your bed, staring at nothing, or sleeping. you lost count of how many times your phone has rung in the last few days ― you barely even look at it anymore, except for the times you have enough energy to at least tell one person that you’re doing okay and that there’s nothing to worry about.

except, they all knew it’s a lie.

your phone has about 50 notifications from calls and messages you got from the members, your family, and friends. your heart is shattering knowing you’ve put them in great distress by making them worry about you ― hell, if you could just pick up the right amount of energy to communicate and let them in, you’d do so in a heartbeat, just to set their heart and mind at peace.

but, it’s been a long withstanding war between you and your mind when it comes to letting people in and seeing you weak. chan pointed this out to you long before you even entered the relationship, but you just can’t easily put your guard down, especially not when you’ve had it up for years.

your eyes zoomed into the little succulent placed on the corner of your room. it was given to you by chan when you celebrated your birthday last year. since then, it has made its presence known in your room, giving it a bit more personality and magnifying the air of calmness in your little nook. your chest tightened at the memory; you miss chan, you have been mentally beating yourself up since this episode started because all you wanted to do right now is to have chan by your side and have his arms wrapped around you, but your barriers renders you unable to do so.

lost in your thoughts, you didn’t even notice it when tears suddenly started dripping from your cheek… one… two... until it continuously flowed. your body felt weak, as your week flashed in your mind — the memory appears like a reel behind your lids. how you pretended to be cheerful in your workplace only to come home and be welcomed by the familiar emptiness as soon as you get home. you felt your body crashing on the floor as your chest began tightening. there’s not much room for air in your lungs but the floor is wide enough to fill up with your unrelenting tears.

if only i did things differently, surely, something must have changed? you thought to yourself.

stupid, so fucking stupid.

at this point, even you have no idea what you’re chiding yourself for. your brain will dig up all your memories, even the smallest, inconsequential things that you did — no matter how old it was. you bit your lip trying to reign in your cries, your hands crawled upwards and towards your scalp, tearing through it and locking your hair strands into a tight grip.

your clothes seems to be one of those bad decisions right now; the pair of shorts and ratty t-shirt allows your skin to be in your line of sight. the scars that marred your skin — on usual days, are faded and doesn’t bear any hold over you, for you have learned to accept them after a long warring within yourself. but, in times like this, they’re glaring reminder of everything you wish you haven’t done and a long line of insecurities.

looking down at the faded jagged lines, your eyes from your tears and at last, an anguished cry teared through your throat. fuck, i’m so sorry.

please, you whispered quietly into the empty room.

a loud, incessant ring pierced through your bedroom, making you flinch as it brought you back to reality.

your eyes wildly scanned the room, looking for the source of the sound. even the ringtone was unfamiliar, but as it continuously rang, you realized it was your work phone haphazardly tucked in one of your table drawers. moving sluggishly, you crawled your way near the drawer to get the phone. trying to compose yourself before picking the call up, knowing it’s probably a call from the office, you tried to stabilize your breathing. but, you were shocked to find chan’s name in the caller i.d.

this time, you picked up his call. you didn’t even bother hiding the fact that you were crying. as soon as his soft voice echoed through the speaker, you began to sob.

“y/n? hey? what’s wrong?” chan tried to keep his voice calm.

the ceiling looks empty, you thought to yourself as you tilt your head upward, “i’m sorry.”

chan felt like he was knocked out of air when he heard you apologize brokenly over the phone.

“no…no… you don’t have to be sorry, okay?” he whispered softly, his voice raspy with emotions as he anxiously paced around his studio, looking for his wallet, jacket and his car keys.

he knew there is something wrong the moment you dropped contact from almost everyone last week. he knew from experience that you prefer being left to your own devices until you feel okay enough to acknowledge it. but, even if you refused to let his visit you for long periods of time, he would still come knocking at your door from time to time or blow up your phone until he knows that you’re okay.

this was the very first phone call that you initiated after a week and you were crying, it was enough to bring alarm to chan.

his whole body felt cold, jittery even but he tried to calm himself down so he can safely drive to your place. he kept the phone call going, connecting the call in his car so he can talk to you while driving.

“i.. just… i don’t know, chan,” you whispered raggedly into the phone, the tears never stopping. your head began pounding not too long ago and your body felt tired. but, the tightness in your chest never eased, it’s just there, making you grow uncomfortable as each minute pass by.

“it was just a bunch of stupid decisions i made, but somehow, it still haunts me to this day,” you breathed, choking towards the end of your words. as you closed your eyes, you can almost remember how it felt, the familiar rush you felt — it was never the good kind, and it always fuels your self-hatred after every single line.

the walls and ceilings looks emptier than ever. you clutched  your shirt tightly in your fist, willing the tightening in your chest to ease and the memories to fade along with it.

while his voices appeared calm and gentle to your ears, his insides are on a turmoil, wanting nothing more than to be by your side this instant. he is scared out of his wits, he is terrified of the scene he might see when he reached your apartment. but, at the moment, the fact that you’re still on the line is enough to lessen his fear and nerves.

“baby, listen to me, alright?” his inquiry is met with silence, “y/n, baby, are you listening?” he tried one more time, his voice cracking from its calm façade.

your sobs and low hum was enough of a reply to him, so he decided to continue. “you don’t have to be sorry, okay? your scars are a reminder of a battle that you won and you’ll continue to win.” he trailed off, swallowing back his tears as he nears your place.

“just stay on the line… please… just until the pain subsides,” you whispered into the phone. shirt remaining clutched tightly in your fist with your breathing slightly labored.

he inhaled sharply, “of course, baby. just answer one question for me, okay?” when you replied with a quiet ‘yes’, he continued talking. “you’re not hurt?” there’s a silence between the both of you.

“…i think, i feel empty enough that it hurts.”

“okay,” he breathed in sharply. “okay, wait for me. i’ll be there, baby. for now, I want you to breathe through your nose. follow my counting, okay?” he parked his car before running through your building, being mindful not to alert you of the change in his breathing so he can assist you better during the breathing exercise.

“I’m right outside, okay? it’s okay. you’re doing great, baby,” he assured you before you heard the sound of your door opening and closing and there stood chan looking restless as his eyes frantically look over your body and around it, looking for any sign that you’re hurt. you heard a him dropping the call as your eyes raked over his features, as if it’s making sure that chan is not a figment of your imagination.

finding no sign of you being hurt, he began approaching you, he can’t help the way his heart clenched as he fought his own nerves. you both know it’s not physical pain that you need to be worried about right now. his arms slowly cradled you in a hug as he sank to his knees beside you. once again, your sobs echoed in the room as you desperately clung to him — both feeling relieved and scared; relieved, as you felt the familiar warmth and smell the scent of chan; scared, because this gaping hole you felt inside of you seems bigger than you’ve ever known.

his fingers went to your hair, gently stroking to offer you some comfort and kissing the top of your head.

“you’re doing great, y/n. you’re strong. this isn’t bigger than you. YOU are bigger than this, and if i have to run all the way here or call you every day just to remind you that, i’d do it in a heartbeat.”

chan moved the both of you to your bed. with your head placed on his chest, he continued his ministrations on your hair.

“… when i look at myself, i remember all the things i did in the past and hate myself for it,” you quietly whispered, staring at his shirt.

“…sometimes, when the self-hatred are fostered in my system, it makes me want to cut ties with everyone i love because i feel like i’m bound to hurt or disappoint them at one point,” you continued, occasionally clutching on to his shirt before letting it go.

“i know, i know i’ll always have you and everyone to count on. i know you’re willing to lend me that strength, chan. but, it’s been so long since i last did that, this is all i’ve ever known.”

chan’s hand slowed to a stop before he used both of his arms to hug you. “i know it’s hard for you and i know you’re trying your hardest to change that. but, we’ll be here to help you find your footing. hell, i don’t care how long it takes, progress doesn’t need to have a timeline, y/n.”

“… as long as you keep trying to move forward, that’s all that matters. your past? you’ve grown from that, haven’t you?” he said, his voice tickling your ears. you hugged him tighter, forcing your eyes shut as you try to will your tears away.

“i’m tired of crying,” you whispered.

“it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to let it out. it’s okay to lean on somebody,”

“-- i love you, i’ll always be here for you, okay? you don’t have to shoulder all of this on your own,” he said, kissing the top of your head. you looked up before placing a kiss on his cheek, the kiss lasting a little longer than usual peck. chan knew what the kiss meant – it was you acknowledging him and being grateful for him.

“i’ll pick myself up again,” you whispered, albeit unsure but when you felt chan squeezing your hand in assurance, your anxiety eased and the gaping felt like it shrunk. not by a lot, but enough to let the warmth of the person beside you to seep in. 

“i’ll be there to lend you hand, if you needed one,” and it was enough for you. back to square one, huh? you thought to yourself. maybe not, just a small mishap during the journey, i guess.