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We'll say hello again (Nevermind the chasm between us) 16

Seeing her twin the first thing in the morning did brighten her mood but the way Amar kept on bouncing on his feet was not a good idea.

"Get up, come on, come, come on!" He cheers over her as Gauri buries herself under her blanket once more, trying and failing to ignore her brother. "It's Mahashivratri, come on, we'll be late for pooja!"

Gauri throws the blankets off of herself and sits up, glaring grumpily at Amar. "I despise you," she says and Amar laughs because he knows it's a lie.

She manages to throw him out of her room and call for her handmaid to help her with her hair, throwing a sparse greeting at Yamuna at the door before she locks her brother out. Gauri huffs as she chooses her saree, a soft pink saree with pale golden hand block prints. It's one that she customised for herself, as a birthday gift for herself. Spoiling herself is a good thing, if done once in a while.

She's taken to draping her saree in a way that lets her move more freely, ready for a possible attack at any time. She doesn't trust her safety in the halls of the palace, not with Vijay here. A part of her heart throbs at the idea of a what if, a thought that probes at her mind like a needle. (What if she would be married to him?)

(She would rather live the life of a widow.)

Strapping Bhairav's dagger to her calf is a habit by now, and so is the hidden small knife in her waistband, hidden behind her pallu. She feels ridiculous, like she's going for war in her own home, as she steps out of her room, as ready as she'll ever be.

She isn't ready enough.

Gauri's breath leaves her chest in a fell swoop as her eyes fall on Bhairav, who is wearing that periwinkle tunic she's made for him. It looks perfect on him. He looks half a god, suitable to his name. Long hair left to the wind, a chandan tilak on his forehead and eyes unwavering as he looks at her, and only her. The tunic drapes over his shoulders like a physical caress, the embroidery on his collar stark against the blue. It fits him perfectly, looking comfortable in movement and yet emphasises his lean torso.

Gauri feels a spark of something primal in her chest and throat as she sees him wearing something she made and gave him. The urge to make another tunic for him rises, the need to make him a new wardrobe so he only wears what she makes for him.

The storm rising in her chest is hard to control but Gauri pushes it backwards forcefully when his eyes stray from her form, downward to his hands. Gauri tries to keep track of his gaze but it is hard, because as his neck moves, she sees the last letter of his name embroidered on the back of the kurta in her stitches. In red. (Red that matches her alta.)

Bhairav clears his throat hesitantly and looks back at her, reluctance in his sharp eyes. Gauri raises her eyebrows with a smile. Bhairav wets his lips for a moment before he speaks. "Shubh Mahashivratri, my princess. I hope you do not mind but I have stepped out of my bounds and dared—" He doesn't complete his sentence and raises his hand between them, a jasmine flower gajra in hand.

It's the two of them in the corridor, and Gauri feels the eyes of the Sun on them as she smiles wider in sheer giddiness. She's never worn a gajra before. She's always wanted to, but there's always a rush or something else and she always forgets to ask for a gajra to any of her handmaids.

"Of course, I do not mind, Bhairav," she says, sounding exhilarated to herself. She turns on her heels and looks over her shoulder. "Would you, please—?"

Bhairav looks like he's about to stutter something about his boundaries, so Gauri gives him a pleading look before turning her face away, leaving the decision in his hands. She knows she can't force an act of friendship and she needs to trust him to act on his wishes.

She doesn't hear him move until he's behind her, the smell of jasmine, chandan, and something earthy hitting her like a drug. Gauri stays still and her eyes close on their own when she feels Bhairav's fingers lightly brush away her hair from behind her ears. She feels her ears heat up and opens her eyes as he's putting the gajra in the small braided section of her hair that meets together at the back of her head.

Gauri's eyes fall on the stone floor, and with the sunlight falling in, she sees their shadows on the floor. They appear merged.

After seven more heartbeats, Bhairav finally stills. His fingers adjust the gajra for the last time and linger in her free hair for a breath, grazing the cascade of her hair for a moment before pulling away.

Gauri turns around to face him and beams at him, even as she feels a flush crawl up her neck. "Thank you, Bhairav."

He bows his head to her and steps back, the smell of chandan lingering like a caress between the two of them. "Anything for you, my princess."

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Amar is as insufferable as ever as he groans when they see each other. "Why are you so late?" He almost whines as soon as she is in earshot.

Gauri raises an eyebrow at him and looks around pointedly. Vijay, a couple of more soldiers, Amar, Katappa, Bhalla, Veeraraj, Bhairav, and Gauri. Even Maa or uncle aren't here.

"It takes time and dedication to maintain the elegance that Mahadev only gave to only one of you." Bhalla says, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Gauri is momentarily scared for her gajra, but she relaxes instantly under Bhalla's arm, as she's been doing for years.

Vijay gives him a side-eyed look. "Yes, because He wanted the other one to come on Mahashivratri at the time!"

"Oh, then, would you mind fetching the rest of the royal family and the royal priest?" Gauri asks, her hackles raised with the way Vijay spoke between the siblings.

"I'm sorry, do I look like your pet guard dog? He's standing behind you." Vijay snidely replies, eyeing Bhairav with disdain. Amar senses the tension and moves closer, towards Gauri.

Gauri knows how loyal and how fierce Bhairav is. Comparing him to a guard dog is not wrong. However. However. However.

Only she can do that. Because she appreciates and approves the fierceness he has, the growl he has, the sheer capacity of destruction he has. Because she knows his loyalty, she knows she is his North and she is his law. Because he is her protection, he is her health and he is backbone. Someone to adore and protect— that is the relationship of a guard dog and its master. That is the relationship of Bhairav and Gauri, with reciprocation. He protects and adores her, and she does the same for him. He may be likened to a guard dog, but by her only. She may be likened to a guard dog, but by him only.

Gauri feels Bhairav step forward behind her, closing their distance, and she smirks, letting her canines show. "You should be glad that Bhairav has better manners than your guards. At least, mine is loyal to a fault, Mahoday. Do you want Bhairav to teach them some loyalty? I assure you, he won't mind."

As expected, Vijay turns his head sharply at his soldiers and Gauri feels cold satisfaction thrum in her ears.

So easy to manipulate. So easy, in fact, even Amar could have done it.

Before he can say anything else, the guards around them announce the arrival of Maa and Bhalla removes his hand from her, straightening up beside her. Amar and Bhairav remain at their respective positions.

"Don't play with fire, Gauri." Bhalla says, eyes towards his parents. "We can't forget our diplomacy."

Gauri keeps her eyes at her uncle and aunt too. "And he can't forget his station. I refrain from being arrogant, brother, but I will not stand for insults against me or mine. He is barely refraining from disrespecting me in a way that will be treason. We all know the punishment for treason."

Maa comes to them with a smile on her face that dims a bit when she sees the looks on their faces. "What happened?"

"Vijay spoke insultingly about Bhairavrath. Gauri implied that he has disloyal guards." Bhalla says, always clinical and logical. That's what she admires about him. He isn't biased with his emotions.

Gauri looks at Shivagami with an unrepentent look. Shivagami shakes her head minutely and purses her lips. "I know what you think, but behave yourself, Gauri. You are a princess. You cannot be accused of being mannerless. If you want retribution, do it discreetly."

"This is discreet, Maa," Gauri says, knowing that her aunt is right,"Being non discreet would be that I'd take his tongue with my dagger for the tone alone."

Maa sighs and turns to Amar, draping an arm around him. "At least tell me your tone was good enough." Gauri nods at her innocently, but something itches at her.

Amar is Maa's favourite. Bhalla is uncle's favourite. Who favours Gauri?

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Bijjaldev pushes Gauri to do her pooja with Vijay. He almost dwarfs her in height alone, let alone his age. Gauri has half a mind to accidentally injure Vijay's knee so he can't kneel or sit in front of the shivaling with her. Thankfully, Mahadev is on her side.

Vijay doesn't know how to do the pooja. He does the abhisek, from a different vessel than her, closes his eyes, prays for a moment and leaves. Gauri is astonished at his behaviour but uses it to her advantage and looks at Maa, asking silent permission to let her complete her pooja. Maa smiles at her indulgingly and nods.

"Not him, Mahadev," she prays softly in her thoughts after completing her pooja. "Do not make me miserable. Because if I am tied to him, he will come to you. I shall not bear living alone for too long. I want to be loved and cared for. Let me be loved."

She opens her eyes and begins to walk out of the temple, where Amar and Bhairav are standing at the doorway. Amar forwards a hand to her and she easily grasps it following his lead with her head held high.

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Amar squeezes her hand tightly as they move towards the centre of the temple, struggling with the crowd, even with their security. It's a tight fit, and the temple is decorated in all white flowers, their fragrance soothing and colour blinding, especially as the moonlight catches on them.

The day had been spent normally, but the evening is even brighter in Mahishmati as the whole state echoes the bhajans and chants of Mahadev and Mata Parvati. The evening aarti is even more beautiful and chaotic.

Gauri wishes she could tie her hair up in a bun but she's not touched her hair since the morning— since the moment Bhairav out in the gajra. It stays in her hair, snug and still fragrant. She's not even changed, since the morning.

Gauri keeps Amar ahead of her and Bhalla behind her as they all move, Bhairav and Veeraraj on either side of her. Maa and uncle lead the group, Vijay at the tailend. Her heart is hammering in her chest as she feels sweat clam up on her palms. She organised all this, and as it happens, she's afraid of anything that will go wrong.

Gauri keeps her spine straight and face neutral as they attend the aarti and let's herself smile as she's distributing prasaad to the nobles in the temple.

Just as she's beginning to think that everything has gone well, she turns away from Vijay to go back to Amar, she hears Vijay speak.

"May I have the attention of everyone?" He asks, and doesn't stop for long before banging his hand on a nearby empty platter to grab the attention of the nobles around them. Her heart starts to beat faster and she feels her smile freeze on her face, shoulders turning rigid. She feels the heat of panic spread in her chest and arms.

"In the attention of Mahadev and on this auspicious day of Mahashivratri, I announce my proposal to court Gauraangi Devi."

The empty thaali of prasaad stays in her hand and Gauri remembers another plate, years ago, that she used to make another egoistic man bleed.

The need for blood rises.

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Tagging: @alhad-maharani @vijayasena @voidsteffy @nerdreader @allizzprobablynotwell

I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger!!!!! But abhi I need to let gauri plot for a while lmfao. See y'all soon!

#desiblr #suffer ye suhana nahi #desi tumblr #bahubali

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