hummus-whore

[hummus-whore]

are you ever in a bad mood and mistakenly flatten all human experience

[hummus-whore]

anders like "i need ingredients for a . potion. that will split me and justice from each other. even though i said it was impossible before without me dying. forget about that i lied. will you help me find the ingredients. ok thanks the first one i need is nitroglycerin"

[hummus-whore]

Every time I open my inbox I see that ask where an anon tried to call me the f slur but misspelt it horribly and I laugh every time. I don’t have the heart to delete it

[hummus-whore]

playing poker with my friend and he lays down a straight flush but it has two kings so i tell him that’s wrong but it’s pride month and the gay flush is allowed during this month

[hummus-whore]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

[hummus-whore]

[hummus-whore]

alt-j / cinnamon toast crunch advertisements / simone weil / cinnamon toast crunch advertisements / frank bidart

[hummus-whore]

[hummus-whore]

Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

[hummus-whore]

cant stop thinking about this this was sooo crazyyyyy

[hummus-whore]

My mom left an eviction notice for the carpenter bees burrowing into our porch

[hummus-whore]

can you guys stop making posts that i materially agree with but that are worded in ways i find too disagreeable to be reblogged. it rankles

[hummus-whore]

[hummus-whore]

boob window showing off the gaping hole in my chest

[hummus-whore]

[hummus-whore]

gadzooks! my game? It be'eth changed!

[hummus-whore]

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