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Self-made computer lock screen wallpaper😆

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Derek Fowlds about NH

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【Riddle】 (YPM S1E5 A Real Partnership)

Bernard: Sir Humphrey, can I just mention one thing?

Sir Humphrey: Yes, Bernard?

Bernard: There has been movements.

Sir Humphrey: On what subject?

Bernard: On a subject on which the Civil Service hoped there would be no movement.

Sir Humphrey: The Civil Service generally hopes there will be no movement on any subject!

Bernard: Uh, yes Sir Humphrey. But what I mean is, it's in relation to a subject that is normally wholly and exclusively within the control of the Civil Service that developments have developed.

Sir Humphrey: You are speaking in riddles, Bernard!

Bernard: Oh, thank you.

Sir Humphrey: That was NOT a compliment, Bernard! Make yourself clear, please.

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【Punchline】 (YPM S1E5)

Sir Humphrey: You see, Prime Minister, the problem is that low morale will inevitably lead to the danger of a strike. Now think of the effect of a strike of the computermen on the social services. Furthermore, we are already experiencing difficulties in recruitment.

Hacker: I thought you had 10 applicants for every vacancy.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but the applicants are of a very low quality, with very few First Class degrees. Most of them have Lower Seconds.

Hacker: I got a Third.

Bernard: Oh, that's all right for Prime Minister. Sir Humphrey is talking about Civil Servants.

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【Long Sentence 005】 (YPM S1E4)

Hacker: Sir Humphrey, to what do we owe this pleasure?

Sir Humphrey: Prime minister, I must protest in the strongest possible terms, my profound opposition to a newly instituted practice which imposes severe and intolerable restrictions upon the ingress and egress of senior members of the hierarchy and which will in all probability, should the current deplorable innovation be perpetuated, precipitate a constriction of the channels of communication and culminate in the condition of organisational atrophy and administrative paralysis which will render effectively impossible the coherent and coordinated discharge of the fucntion of government within Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

Hacker: You mean you've lost your key?

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【Long sentence 004】 (YPM S1E4)

Hacker: It could make some sense if everything were to be transferred to the Treasury…if you think you could do part of Humphrey's job.

Sir Frank: Oh…Yes, that could make a lot of sense.

Hacker: But if, as you say, he's not overstretched…

Sir Frank: Ah. When I say "not overstretched", I was of course talking in the sense of total, cumulative loading taken globally, rather than in respect of certain individual and essentially anomalous responsibilities which are not, logically speaking, consonant or harmonious with the broad spectrum of intermeshing and separable functions and could indeed be said to place an ecessive burden on the office when considered in relation to the comparatively exiguous advantages of their overall centralisation.

Hacker: You COULD do part of Humphrey's job!

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【Long Sentence 003】 (YPM S1E4)

PM: It's only a waiting room.

Sir Humphrey: Not only a waiting room. A vital square on the board.

PM: People can wait in the lobby or in the staterooms.

Sir Humphrey: Some people. But some people must wait where other people cannot see the people waiting. And people who arrive before other people must wait where they cannot see other people who arrive after them being admitted before them. And people who come in from outside must wait where they cannot see the people from inside coming to tell you what the people from outside want to see you about. And people who arrive when you are with people they're not supposed to know you have seen must wait somewhere until the people who're not supposed to have seen you have seen you.

Hacker: Sounds like an entire Whitehall farce going out there.

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【Long sentence 002】 (YPM S1E3)

Hacker: What's the trouble?

Sir Humphrey: Your anti-smoking legislation.

Hacker: What about it?

Sir Humphrey: Notwithstanding the fact that your proposal could conceivably encompass certain concomitant benefits of marginal and peripheral revelance, there is a countervailing consideration of infinitely superior magnitude, with the consequence that the taint and stigma of your former associations and diversions could irredeemably and irretrievably invalidate your position and culminate in public revelations and recriminations of a profoundly embarrassing and ultimately indefensible character.

Hacker: Perhaps I can have a precis of that.

Sir Humphrey: There's nicotine on your hands.

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【Long sentence】 (YPM S1E2)

Sir Humphrey: May I suggest a compromise?

Hacker: What?

Sir Humphrey: Well, it's clear that the committee's agreed that your new policy is a really excellent plan, but in view of some of the doubts being expressed, may I propose that after careful consideration, the considered view of the committee was that while it considered the proposal met with broad approval in principle, some of the principles were sufficiently fundamental in principle, and some of the considerations so complex and finely balanced in practice that in principle was proposed that the sensible and prudent pratice would be to submit the proposal for more detailed consideration, then stress on the essential continuity of the new proposal with existing principles and the principle of the principal arguments which the proposer proposes and propounds for their approval…in principle.

Hacker: What?

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【Tongue Twister】 (YPM S1E1)

Hacker: I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.

Sir Humphrey: But it's a deterrent!

Hacker: It's a bluff! I probably wouldn't use it.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but they dont' know that you probably wouldn't.

Hacker: They probably do.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn't but they can't certainly know.

Hacker: They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn't.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they don't certainly know that although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would!