hungryseas - Tumblr blog

[hungryseas]

gonna be real for a minute. how do you kiss someone for LESS than twenty minutes

[hungryseas]

no but you know what would be nice? experiencing the kind of happiness that doesn’t turn out to be a lesson that I have to mourn over for at least 3 months

[hungryseas]

Before you, I had never known love that did not want to own and control me. I'm sorry I fought your affection. I'm sorry I made you prove what I should already know.

[hungryseas]

11.22.23

[hungryseas]

i am a perfectly nonchalant person. except on days where i crave love. then i choke up and go insane and begin howling at the moon

[hungryseas]

there is a deep pathological sadness and loneliness you just can’t shake off that comes from having a traumatic childhood and broken family which I still haven’t come to terms with

[hungryseas]

[hungryseas]

an angel that’s an animal

[hungryseas]

think it's a deep consolation to know that spiders dream, that monkeys tease predators, that dolphins have accents, that lions can be scared silly by a lone mongoose, that otters hold hands, and ants bury their dead. that there isn't their life and our life. nor your life and my life. that it's just one teetering and endless thread and all of us, all of us, are entangled w it as deep as entanglement goes. v neat i think.

[hungryseas]

actually only you need to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting... yeah its not happening to anyone else. everyone else just gets to let the soft animals of their bodies love what they love. yeah... your bad huh?

[hungryseas]

First your body belongs to your mother, because she made you

Then your body belongs to God, because He wants credit too

My body is not mine and I am making it smaller and smaller.

When I was a kid I never decorated my room, it was a prison cell. "You live in my house. Be grateful for the roof over your head." I was homesick for a home I never had. I wanted to run away and change my name and change my face and change time.

I once cut off all my hair just to prove it was mine. With every lock I lost, I felt free, like flying.

Your body belongs to strangers. They will frown and stare and tell you how pretty you would be if you grew out your hair. 

My body is not my own and I don't recognize my face in the mirror. Who is this changeling wearing my mother's face and staring through me with my father's eyes? I want to be friends with it, but it is not friends with me. Why do you hold yourself that way?

Your body belongs to lovers. They know you better than you know yourself. I am shocked to discover my body was made for more than brutality, but it's still breaking. I still can't help but flinch.

My body is not mine, it's borrowed, but is mine to care for. I pick it up and wash and feed it, make sure it gets what it needs. My hair is getting long again, but it's dyed my favorite color. I'm starting to feel like me.

[hungryseas]

The intimacy of turning any task into a two person job

[hungryseas]

Love like a pinky promise

Love like playing pretend

Like magic is something we make together

The way little kids believe in forever

It's real if we make it real

[hungryseas]

I left the key to my heart

where I hoped you would find it

Under the welcome mat by the door

Except I never locked the door behind you

Except you never shut it all the way

And I left it like that,

Ajar

[hungryseas]

i don't know how to

describe this emptiness

using any word other than heavy;

i don't know how that

still doesn't make any sense.

-mars

[hungryseas]

It hurts as much as it makes my heart sing

I'm trying so hard to believe

I deserve this love

[hungryseas]

my heart is heavy, but only because it is so full