hurtedandtiredmoon - Tumblr blog

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

This is how I originally wrote it. One of those that starts as a poem and then begs to be a song. I posted a fragment of this on tumblr a while back, but here’s the initial piece in its entirety 🤍

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

Halsey performing at Sziget Festival in Budapest, Hungary on August 8th, 2024.

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

when i die, i won't have time to spend my money, but i hope that you still love me

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

People being mean to Halsey is the weirdest thing ever like thinking about what she is going through and some people still feel the need to say shitty things.. I can't comprehend how someone could be like that...

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

TAEMIN - The 5th Mini Album ‘ETERNAL‘ Trailer: Motion ver. [X]

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

Lucky promotional shoot

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

katniss and peeta's reaction on the train going to their first games

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

HALSEY - LUCKY (2024)

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

People listing reasons why Peeta is traumatized:

“He had to go through the Hunger Games twice, his mother was abusive, he got hijack-“

Me:

“You forget that he saw Haymitch naked.”

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

The truth is that I am learning a lesson right now. And this experience is too familiar. Aside from the few remaining friends and family I have in my life, there was another portion of people who reacted to my sickness in two different ways. The first decided it was too heavy and they didn’t even wanna touch it and they disappeared. The second was angry with me that I was too sick to TAKE from anymore so they were cruel to me instead. I was SO lonely. I went to treatment alone. So many times. I sat there wishing I would talk to someone or tell someone or ask for help. I just can’t help but feel like that’s happening all over again here, in this part of my life. I dedicated 12 years of my life to connecting with people and helping them. Thousands of people told me I “saved their life” and then I returned to those same people only to hear that they don’t care that I almost lost mine. What a reveal. I can’t explain in words the misery and suffering of those years. Hating myself and blaming myself for “ruining everything”. I worked so hard to be here and I had to stop because of something against my will. And now I’m back. And I know you don’t like the song and that’s okay because you don’t have to like everything I make. That’s not why I make it. I made it to tell my story. But what I can’t get past is the disconnect. You know what I learned yesterday? I learned that only 1% of my active fans have even bothered to listen to the song. But the conversation about me is SO loud and SO wicked and it’s coming from a MUCH larger percentage than that. So right now there’s millions of people who call themselves my fans who are just ripping into me, and barely any of them have even bothered to check out the song. It’s not about the music, it’s about me as a concept and as a projection for some of my fans to rip to shreds. But it’s not about the music anymore. And I can’t do this if it’s not about the music anymore. I’m too weak, I’m too fucking tired, and you’re right. I’m not who I used to be. I’m different now. Because I went through a life altering experience that almost killed me, and killed off some parts of me instead. I really thought returning to the thing I love would make me feel better but it doesn’t at all. And I’m SO sorry to those of you who are so kind and supportive and lovely and incredible and I wish I could hug you and thank you. But this is a mess. It’s a fucking mess. I’m gonna keep moving forward because I worked too hard on this album to walk away. But once it’s all said and done it might be said and done. I hope things get better and I can enjoy sharing this album with those of you who are left 🤍

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

My own fans are hands down meaner to me than any other people on the planet. Not speaking for all of you, of course. But it used to be just a minority that were awful to me and now it seems like a majority have only stuck around to chime in occasionally with their opinion of how much they hate me or how awful I am. it’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen. I don’t know man. I almost lost my life. I am not gonna do anything that doesn’t make me happy anymore. I can’t spiritually afford it.

When I got sick all I could think about was getting better so I could come back and be a part of THIS again, but I don’t even know what *this* is anymore and I want to crawl in a hole and I regret coming back.

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

PEETA

A quick sketch of our beloved boy 🧡

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

Anyway. I’m on my way to a PET scan. And uploading lucky stripped. Because this is the insane irony my life has become.

I’m a person. Not a character in a music video.

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

Shut up, this is so sad

me towards the end of the lucky video: oh that’s so beautiful, it’s ending with them meeting their younger self and making peace with their future :’)

the actual ending: your younger self is dead. you can never return to that little girl but you will spend your life wishing you could. you killed her to become what you are. why are you crying?

[hurtedandtiredmoon]

I'm so lucky ⭐

[hurtedandtiredmoon]