hystericalend

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eyes don't lie

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you ever think about how suho never told sieun that beomseok tampered with his motorcycle. about when sieun asked what was wrong with his leg, suho smiled and said, "It's nothing. don't worry about it," and never told him that beomseok almost got him killed. about how as sieun kept trying to reach out to beomseok and reconnect, suho watched on knowing that beomseok hated him enough to want him dead, but stayed silent and let sieun try because he knew beomseok still meant something to sieun.

cause im thinking about it. a lot.

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I got restless.

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guardian angel 💫

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shse as childhood friends

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is this not how the scene went?

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thinking about that final scene in weak hero class 2 again and it’s just... wrecking me. the way suho looks at sieun—so casual, so soft, like no time has passed at all. like they’re just picking up a conversation from yesterday. there’s no anger, no grief in his voice, just quiet warmth as he asks about sieun’s friends. and it’s such a simple question, but it matters. it means something. because suho knows sieun. knows how alone he used to be. how hard it was for him to let people in.

and then sieun—god—he says yes. yes, those are my friends (in his own way, of course). and suho smiles. like really smiles. not because he thinks it’s about him, but because he’s genuinely happy that sieun wasn’t alone while he was unconscious. because the boy he once stood beside, fought beside, nearly died beside, actually found someone else to hold him up when he couldn’t do it anymore. suho missed so much, lost so much—but in that moment, you can see the relief settle in his eyes. like maybe the world didn’t completely fall apart in his absence.

meanwhile sieun is just barely holding it together. his eyes are glassy, lips trembling at the edges, and you know he’s been carrying so much—grief, guilt, rage, loneliness—all of it, knotted up and buried beneath that dead-eyed stare he’s worn all season. and now suho’s awake. suho’s alive. and sieun doesn’t have to hold it all by himself anymore.

and then it happens. he smiles. not the bitter kind. not the tight, polite kind. a real one. full and genuine and so achingly familiar. the same smile he only ever gave suho in class 1—pure and light and a little boyish, like he forgot for a second that the world hurt. and in that one look, you remember exactly who he used to be. who he still is, somewhere under all the blood and bruises and loss.

it’s such a short scene but it says everything. they found each other again. maybe broken. maybe changed. but not beyond reach. never beyond reach.

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continuing my sieun having an all-girl friend group in university hc ,,,, none of the girls in his friend group are romantically interested in sieun but they are VERY interested in who he is romantically interested in, so he's constantly being pestered abt what his type is or if he's dating anyone or if he finds that girl pretty or, sieun-ah she totally smiled at you, ask for her number!!

at first he mostly ignores them but finally he can't take it anymore and just goes "stop. i'm already dating someone." that ofc IMMEDIATELY backfires bc they all refuse to let it go and want all the details of his "mystery girlfriend" that he's been hiding from them. sieun tries to put it off but eventually their relentlessness makes him cave so he just, pulls out his phone and shows them.

all the girls eagerly crowd around his phone only for the person on the screen not to be a pretty girl, but to be? a boy? he looks around their age. long dark hair, arrogant smile, one eye squeezed shut in a flirtatious wink at the camera. he's hot, really hot, actually (damn), but ?? who is that?

sieun totally straight-faced just says, "my boyfriend. ahn suho."

it takes the girls all of 2 seconds to adjust to the fact that sieun essentially just came out to them and immediately jump to protective friend mode. they demand a time for them to meet this “ahn suho” bc they simply must to determine whether this man is worthy of their dear sieun-ie. (he is.)

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everyone has their own hcs abt suho's sexuality but to me that is a Gay Man. the fact he doesn't stereotypically present as queer makes it even more fun bc he is the most violent homosexual on the planet. he is foaming at the mouth for the male form that boy wants DICK. why do you think he started doing a contact sport it was so he could TOUCH MEN!

but in a bit more seriousness, suho who's known he was sexually attracted to men since he was like 13 and comfortable with that fact but not realising he could also be ROMANTICALLY attracted to men until he met sieun. bc yeah this boy is super cute and id be down if he was down but oh now im saving his ass from these bullies and oh even though he's grumpy it seems like he actually cares about me and, you- you brought me soup that i mentioned? hey, why are you smiling. hey. hey now wait a minute.

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and if i say i don't think suho and sieun are soulmates. if i say that they found each other DESPITE the universe trying to tear them apart because the universe only gave them forty days before suho went into a coma. the universe had sieun move further away and gave him new friends, had him build a life untethered, without suho in it. sieun had the physical and emotional distance he needed to move on if he wanted and by the end of s2, he also has the maturity and peace that if he had chosen to, if he had let the universe have its way, he could have decided that suho was his past. he could've believed his friends when they said it wasn't his fault, focused on his future, and moved on.

but sieun says fuck the universe.

he visits suho in his hospital room and pours out his heart in text messages suho might never read. he dreams of him, sees him in his new friends, thinks of his voice and his words to give himself courage when he faces enemies that are far stronger than the kids at byuksan ever were. he NEVER forgets him. always, suho-ya, when will you wake up? suho-ya i'm sorry i fought again.

suho-yah. i'm still waiting.

the universe sends him a phone call telling him suho's holding on by a thread, a truck which doesn't brake in time, puts sieun in a coma, and still sieun says no. i have to go back to suho. he wakes up, and suho's name is the first word from his mouth, he drags himself to suho's room in his own hospital gown and apologises for being late because it's not a question of whether he'll come back to him. there will always be a next visit.

and then finally the fighting is over. finally sieun is at moderate levels of peace, and he still visits. he's still waiting, still thinking of him, a stubborn, immovable object. and the universe, the tired old universe, goes:

fine. you win.

suho and sieun aren't soulmates who were always meant to be, they're two, ferociously loyal kids who love each other so much they were willing to fight tooth and nail to stay in each other's lives no matter WHAT the universe had to say about it. there's no red string of fate tying them together, no predestined meeting or beautiful twist of fate, just their own, blood-soaked hands reaching for each other and stubbornly refusing to let go. they slip, they stumble and fall, but the other is always just a few steps ahead, waiting.

not soulmates. the universe didn't decide they would be together. they did.

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came on here to change my profile picture to sieun covered in blood and my bio's "nurse they let her out again" to "NURSE!! THEY LET HER OUT AGAIN!" because i felt there wasn't enough urgency in the projection of my insanity. do you feel it now? do you feel it? hey! hey, HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING

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!!!! THIS. suho who strongly believes in justice and holds to the motto of "don't cross the line" suddenly very content to ignore the line entirely and enact revenge (not justice!) when it comes to sieun because his love for him suspends his morals. sieun who kept his head down and only hit back once provoked, choosing to further his pain and the violence to hunt down everyone who put suho in that coma because he was completely out of his mind with grief. now that they're back together again i pray for anyone who tries to mess with either of them because the track record is NOT pretty.

A lot of people seem to think Sieun's and Suho's relationship is just sweet and lovey dovey and nice, and completely miss the darker, violent side of their connection. For hurting Sieun, Suho breaks Yeongbin's hand like nothing and sits there completely unbothered while that boy cries in pain at his feet. For hurting Suho, Sieun smashes Wooyoung's ankle with a dumbbell and leaves him screaming on the floor, utterly uncaring. Both are capable of great violence and are deeply obsessed with each other to the point of unleashing it on others with no fucks given.

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could quite literally write an essay about this shot right here it has got to be one of my favorite from the series altogether. The way we linger on Suho's face, how they're both looking to Sieun, it's so good. it's not even an I told you so moment to me it's like look at what's happened to us, what would you have me do? it's insaneeeeee

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i have a million sieun in university hcs but one my favourites is that he gets adopted by a group of girls as their token male friend because he Looks Like That and they all think he's the cutest thing ever and are obsessed with him and sieun just goes along with it bc this is nicer then boys being idiots n beating him up ig

like it starts off as sort of begrudging.. very youngyi in s1 where he's not happy abt being with her at first but he also doesn't push her away but then the more he spends time with them and they eat lunch with him in the cafeteria and they study with him at study hall and bring him little snacks in the morning with a "always working so hard sieun-ie! eat well :))" he gradually realises oh. these girls are my FRIENDS. I like them. If anyone fucks with these girls I'll kill them. (outwardly there is 0 difference he's still as straightfaced and grumpy as ever)

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this is so self indulgent BUT picture sieun letting his hair grow out a little after they graduate. suho's woken up, he's busy with uni, he has friends and they take up so much of his damn time that he just forgets to cut his hair?

one day the group is hanging out all together and baku is like damn sieun ur hair is so long and it's not until it's being said out loud that sieun reaches up to touch it and realises that it really is long. hair curling around his nape hanging over his eyes to brush his cheeks kind of long. parting in the middle to reveal his forehead and curtain bang around his eyes kind of long.

huh. he should probably get it cut.

but then suho yells and is like NOOOO BAKU WHY WOULD U SAY SOMETHING NOW HE'LL GO CUT IT!! and sieun is like??? am i not supposed to cut it? and suho just goes, you look so cute with long hair :(( don't cut it... for me? please?

and oh! ok. sieun is not prepared for how that makes his heart do a weird, stuttering in his chest kind of thing. cool.

doing his best to ignore his heart, he keeps a straightface and deadpans: ill cut it if i want to.

a few days later sieun finally gets a spare minute to step foot into a salon and when he's seated in the chair and they ask him what he wants he opens his mouth to say short please but then he thinks of the way suho pouted and hesitates.

then he goes, "what do you think will look good?"

and the hairdresser is like oh? you want me to decide how to do your hair? and in a rare moment of impulsivity he doubles down and thinks fuck it.

"sure. whatever you think."

some dark brown hair dye and careful shaping later, and we get sieun but with hair like THIS

like?? just imagine him suho's reaction to this. bro is already feral for sieun i think seeing him like that would actually drive him insane.

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not yet dating shse where suho knows the passcode to sieun's door lock and comes and goes whenever he pleases.. sometimes sieun will get home from uni and there's a whole meal cooked for him on the table still warm but suho isn't there, he's just left a sticky note that says eat well <3

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thinking abt sieun studying everything he can about suho's condition and filling SEVERAL notebooks cover to cover with suho's symptoms, scope of abilities, progress. he painstakingly draws diagrams and step by step instructions of the muscle rehabilitation exercises suho's physiotherapist gives him so he can guide him through it when he forgets. he pulls aside nurses at the hospital to take notes on the medication suho's taking, his calorie intake, his BMI and rate of muscle mass regeneration. he stays up late reading case study after case study of long-term coma patients and how well they recovered after waking up. sieun who isn't studying medicine but gets mistaken for it all the time bc even in the uni study halls he's watching some sort of medical video on head trauma and its effect on cognition.

just !! give me sieun who uses studying and knowledge as a coping mechanism because he hates feeling so powerless when it comes to suho's health