i-am-a-fraud

[i-am-a-fraud]

Jojo characters as weird things I do

I am autistic just so this will make some sense

Giorno

When taking somone anywhere he goes the longest most confusing was possible just so they won't rember how to get home or back to that place. (I can't explain it)

Is never lost, you could drop him in the middle on nowhere and he would find his way home

Ghiacco

Gets so angry that there whole body is just a ticking time bomb

Gets so frustrated over doing a physical movement or something that requires thinking that he starts crying angrily.

Listens to the small intrusive thoughts like "dump all of those markers on the floor" then gets angry because there are now markers everywhere

Hates when other people drive especially when road conditions are bad

Narancia

Listens to the same God dam song over and over again. To the point where everyone else knows it word for word. They hate it

Gets excited when he finds a remix of that song or sped up version.

Mista

Says he is going to put a cap in someone's ass all the time

Always hungry or not hungry at all. (In a "healthy" not ed way)

Hates certain words and numbers (number 4 obviously)

[i-am-a-fraud]

[i-am-a-fraud]

idk if you write for dick knubbler but if you do how about dick knubbler impressing his crush and asking them out/how would he act on a date with his s/o? i just like him :]

Ohhhhhh I am an avid fan of Dick Knubbler. He is precious. I know he’s shady. And I know he’s problematic. But like. So’s 95.9% of this show so… @ me if you want lol let’s have a discussion.

Ok so Dick is a “player”. I put that in quotes because He thinks he’s good at picking up girls. But in reality he’s sexist and petty if ever turned down by any gender. Dick hires call girls because normally if he gets a crush or likes someone he gets turned down and doesn’t take that rejection well.

But because of this. He is a little like Murderface in the face that he expects rejection at this point in his life. He’s gotten help for his anger, mostly so he can keep his cushy job at Mordhaus. So when he genuinely asks his crush out he’s already gone through the process of accepting rejection. Especially because his process to ask someone out is “Hey baby, *wraps arm around them* you and me are going to dinner tonight.” If his crush were to accept him. He would probably do that thing where he’d stare at them. Blankly. Like “I’m sorry. Can you please repeat that because I feel like my brain shut off for a few moments.” When his crush confirmed that “yeah I’ll date you.” He’d probably just grin at them. Because he knew he had a feeling about that one. They were special.

On the date he’d keep his arm wrapped tightly around his partner’s waist. He’d want to be sure everyone knew they were his. He was a jealous man. If anyone so much as glanced at his partner he’d threaten them within an inch of their life. But his partner kept him grounded. He had somethings to fight for now. He had a good job and a partner to keep. He’d whisk them across the dining hall. Leading them to their table he’d ignore the waiter. That told him that he didn’t make reservations. Telling the waiter to fuck off or else he’d order wine and food for him and his partner. He’d talk about himself for a while before switching 180. Wanting to know nothing but everything about his partner. He’d play with their hands and play footsie with them as the wine came and they ate. He’d tell them that he’d been watching them. Before embarrassedly switching gears and saying that it was a good thing and that it was because he cared for them. He’d walk them out to their cab or car after the date. He wouldn’t take them home not yet at least. He was a gentleman after all. They’d kiss as he’d help them into the car and before he closed the door, they set up another date for the following night.

[i-am-a-fraud]

[i-am-a-fraud]

Dick Knubbler Headcanons

this is a shitty ass Dick Knubbler x reader because I am down bad i am sorry if i don't write exactly how he talks or get his character a little wrong.

Non Relationship:

Probably has a bunch of siblings and is one of the oldest out of them (does Knubblers personal life get revealed?)

Probably likes Gwen Stefani like listens to sweet escape while driving all the time.

I don't know much more. not right now.

Relationship:

Not the type to cheat, can he really? most people would be weirded out by he eyes, or lack of eyes

At first he might have the sluts that come around Dethklok on his lap but after he really gets to know you all he wants is you on his lap

If you sit on his lap looking all pretty and shit without even trying his is obsessed, forgets what he is doing and everything.

Complement his eyes and he will marry you on the spot

Please tell him his eyes are pretty

Loves PDA specially in public, he wants everyone to know your his and wants to show you off to the world.

Your beautiful or handsome he wants EVERYONE to know your his

He is amazed every day that he got with someone like you

Will want to be with you 24/7 but not in an annoying clingy way unless you like that

Acts hurt if you ask to be alone but won't make you feel bad

NSFW under the cut

It is average but skinny I think but it gets the job done

He is skinny and kinda tall and lengthy with no muscle

No chest hair or anything, he doesn't shave it he just doesn't grow it.

I think he keeps it natural down there

Isn't really that kinky, but if you have something you want to try he is down as long as he's not hurting you or you hurting him

I think he likes missionary and reverse cowgirl

Probably has a thing for having a hand on your tits or chest.

sorry this is so short I just wanted to write a little summthin summthin for my baby girl.

[i-am-a-fraud]

drunken skunk

Characters: Toki Wartooth x Reader

Words: 2500+ holy FUCK 

A/N: hey i written in uhh 1000 years and i just binged metalocolypse on hbomax which apparently unlocked something in me. this fic takes place immediately following fertilityklok because I’ve had a weird amount of experience talking to men who want but for some reason can’t/don’t have children and watching Toki worry about it gave me feelings i just wanted someone to kiss him and tell him he was okay:( so he turned down the woman in the ep, went home and fucked, wakes up and doesn’t actually feel that much better so drinking, smoking, not being understood by his bandmates, leads to going somewhere else to drink, and that’s where we are. i also like the idea that the band members have slutted around so often that even blitz drunk, they’d still be quick and nimble in the sack 

Keep reading

[i-am-a-fraud]

Dethklok as funny things I have done

Don't tell my dad I've done these things I will be killed. My mom don't care.

These are things I have done with my friends, and by myself, and with siblings

Don't do these things

Was standing behind an abandoned flower mill. Friend got mad at me and picked up brick and went to throw it at my head, but threw it at the smoke tower instead.

I said "good job you just ruined history!"

Pickles is the one that got mad

Murderface is the one that he got mad at

Took bikes down a steep hill that goes into the river with tons of trees. I ran into a tree freind went into the river

Toki ran into the tree

skwisgaar went into the river

It was a dare

Broke into a barn with trucks in it, sister wanted to break trucks window to get a fire extinguisher. I threw a axe at the window and shattered it

Murderface wanted the fire extinguisher

Nathan broke the window

Took fire extinguishers to the river and sprayed each other with it. One of us got sprayed in the mouth and threw themselves into the river in the middle of winter the other one was spraying people I threw the extinguisher into the river got it out after.

(Turns out it tastes bad, isn't white it's yellow)

Toki got sprayed in the mouth

Nathan throw it into the river

Murderface was spraying people

Dragged a diva into the woods to our mud pit and fourced them to walk across the planks over the pit they fell in

Everyone dragged skwisgaar into the woods

Tied cousin to a tree in the woods right before dark, left, waited till dark to go get her, made wild animal noises behind her for a little bit

Toki was tied to the tree

Everyone else was in it to scare toki

Broke into a barn that had cult activities in it at night. Got attacked by a bat, another person fell down the stairs running from the bat. The other person was crying

Murderface got attacked by the bat

Pickles fell down the stairs

Toki was crying

Sister foursed me to get high thought Michelle Jackson was in my closet started crying historically

Pickles is the sister

Toki was fourced to get high

Yeah, don't do these things they are wrong and mean but funny. It isn't nice.

Also let me know if you want more

[i-am-a-fraud]

Hi hello, I am sosisoso sorry to brother you. If its alright and not much work, may I request literally anything you want to write about Murderface. sososos sorry if this makes zero sense, im nervous

Omg your so sweet! Your not bothering me at all!!!!

I will do a random fic with many parts

Sound good?

William murderface fic

He thinks he's a hot shot

He knows he's not

But he still wants people to see him as more than a bass player and as William Murderface

Being a bass player is hard, you have talent but no one sees it or really trys to see it.

If you praise him on his bass playing skills he is about ready to marry you on the spot

If you Play bass too he will be more than happy to give you tips and help you out

Well I say that but because he is a dickhead he might call you a poser 💀

He probably thinks he knows what you like (for anything really) but he is wrong he just says you like whatever he likes. Not in a mean way but in a way that says he wants you bad fr fr

I think once you get past Mr. Motherfucker as I would call it he really is a good boyfriend. And he will do anything you ask of him

Rember when he said "put a Dimond bracelet around your /you know/ and say DIVE FOR IT" Yeah that's nothing what he is actually like.

He is actually really sweet and kind but he is kinda a asshole infront of others but not mean

If that makes sense

Definitely makes up harmful lies, like how much you do it or whatever but if you tell him to stop he will.

But he will brag about how great his partner is to EVERYONE EVERTHING AND ANYTHING

I am a firm believer that he doesn't cheat

He has some self control

Type of guy to say something like "if I cheat I will cut my nuts off" or something stupid like that

If you like metal music great if you don't? And fourse him to listen to Gewn Stefanie (idk if that's how you spell it)

Shit might hit the fan but he will learn to except it, you even might catch him listening to it alone!

He is head over heels for you his is all about you ALL THE TIME!

When he gets drunk

A: he will be more clingy and sweet infront of others

B: Not remember that he scored someone as cool and beautiful as you and flirt

If you remind him that you're his partner, he will be a mess and all teary-eyed. Or something. I don't know

I feel like it is a lie that he is tall its the boots he wears, I can't register in my brain that he us taller than Me.

I think he is like 5'5

You can ignore that if you want

Has an normal shoe size for a guy.

He does some "silly" shit

Like the time they all tried to suck their own thang a langs

Probably has tryed to do your hair and ended up ripping some out or making it worse and creating knots.

I am sorry this took so long and is so short, I wish I had a good excuse like I fell off a cliff or something, but I was just depressed.

I am also sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes

[i-am-a-fraud]

A bunch of Pickleses ✌

this sketchbook page is Very Gender

[i-am-a-fraud]

A doodle request i took too far :^)

[i-am-a-fraud]

roses are red the ocean is teal

[i-am-a-fraud]

local punk and his big-tittied goth boyfriend want your lunch money. 

[i-am-a-fraud]

aww dickface is such a cute metalocalypse ship 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

dickface:

[i-am-a-fraud]

I know I know I know I'm a fan fic

But does anyone write dick knubbler

I am thirsty for him!

Please!

[i-am-a-fraud]

Tbh always wanted to have a go at drawing Dick Knubbler bc I like his design

[i-am-a-fraud]