i-am-not-mothman

[i-am-not-mothman]

trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

[i-am-not-mothman]

rb to give the previous person a fucking break because life aint life-ing the way its supposed to life and it fucking sucks.

[i-am-not-mothman]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[i-am-not-mothman]

[i-am-not-mothman]

[i-am-not-mothman]

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

[i-am-not-mothman]

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

[i-am-not-mothman]

The biggest cause of decreasing numbers in wizard populations isn’t magical mishaps or wizard duels, and it’s especially not old age, since some wizards manage immortality through their arcane knowledge. No, the true wizard-killer is falling for the irresistible urge to polymorph yourself into just a li'l guy of a creature and walk into the woods, never to be seen again. Forgo society and fuck off into the woods for the rest of time. Oh how nice it would be to just be a li'l guy...

[i-am-not-mothman]

Yes.

[i-am-not-mothman]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[i-am-not-mothman]

[i-am-not-mothman]

[i-am-not-mothman]

ok so here's the thing

[i-am-not-mothman]

flat fuck friday

[i-am-not-mothman]

Watching all my mutuals reblog each other is like watching an ant colony share the potato chip I dropped on the ground

[i-am-not-mothman]

This is the standard winged nightjar and it has one singular stupidly big feather on each wing... if you even care.

[i-am-not-mothman]

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying