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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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"you sound smart" that's because i've spent years doing academic writing to the point that it's my default cadence plus or minus the use of profanity as a tone indicator
"you sound stupid" that's because i'm dumb as fuck
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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interesting fact i have titanium in my spine
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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Muslims misreading the Barbie posters might be the funniest thing I’ve seen today
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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I love baseball
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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two men can have straight sex with each other. if they’re homophobic enough.
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 4 hours
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Unique vintage male names, companion to this post:
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There are less of them because people seemed to be less creative with naming their sons. Not sure why.
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 8 hours
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ITS CALLED GLEEKING AND ITS REALLY EASY. Touch the bottom of your tongue to the roof of your mouth and flick it forward. Might take a few times to get the hang of.
Hey you know that really disturbing thing where you yawn and your salivary gland shoots a concentrated spray of saliva out of one of its horrid nozzles like you’re a venom spitting snake for some godawful reason
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 8 hours
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just asked my professor if he wants to feature on a song LMFAO
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 8 hours
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Dear professor this assignment did not nourish my fundamentally curious soul so i did not do it No penalty full 100 points please Goodbye!
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 8 hours
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people need to realise that a poor little meow meow must be a character who has committed atrocities you cannot poor little meow meow a good guy that’s not how this works
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 9 hours
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love this type of post
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 9 hours
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Average color of US states based on satellite imaging.
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 9 hours
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oh my god
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 9 hours
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you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 9 hours
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you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker
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i-am-the-myrmidon · 9 hours
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you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker
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