i-rate-horse-games

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hello! sorry if you answered this already but do you like the horse girl game and ALSO do you agree with me that the biggest flaw is that they're just girls with horse ears and not centaurs (which are clearly much cooler and horsey)

If it was up to me every Umamusume would look like Yuuma from UmaPri

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happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!

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[i-rate-horse-games]

Since I'm playing Uma Musume I watch videos about it, which means I get recommended Uma Musume videos, then I get recommended videos about the actual irl horses, then I get recommended videos about horseracing in general, and then I get recommended this

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rating horse life for DS

this game is similar to the PC version with its structure. you wake up, feed your horse, and decide how to spend your time until the day's over. in contrast to the PC version, your horse's well-being stats decrease overnight, so the passing of time means something! also, you now have to train your horse each new move before you can compete in tournaments. some other minor differences between the DS and PC versions are that you no longer have a supportive best friend, and there's no longer any plot happening out on the trail rides. the resident mean girl is still convinced you're cheating every time you win anything, but now she's also trying to flirt with the handsome general store guy. the biggest difference is the controls

this is horse osu

the game is played entirely by tapping and following circles as they appear on the screen

screenshot from helena's horsegaming world because my 3DS battery swelled up and my replacement battery wouldn't charge! :D

at the start of the game, you simply Spawn Into the World, but it does ask if you're a girl or a boy. you customize your horse by answering Mr Clean's questions, without seeing your horse. then you witness a cutscene in which your newborn horse stands up for probably the first time ever! but it's a 3D rotating perspective cutscene and the top screen is showing a static image of the barn roof, so the top half of the room is spinning with the camera. and then you see a Two Years Later screen. why couldn't you have spawned in two years later?? they put in a whole cutscene even though you'll never again see a foal in the entire game. wow !

this game uses the DS mic to pick up your whistles and calls for your horse, but i discovered entirely by accident that it also accepts loud meows. somewhat unusual in horse games, the horse's mane falls neatly on Both sides of the neck instead of one, and both sides flop in synchrony like the glorious marine flatworm. the very first day that you meet the horse, you are already learning how to canter and jump, but considering that both you and the horse were born specifically for this moment, it makes sense.

i named my horse Spider after the australian word for rootbeer floats & thus got this excellent picture of Mr Clean

the penalty for messing up in training is not being able to skip through Mr Clean telling you to pull yourself together, which i think is an excellent example of a drawback that is annoying but not detrimental enough to make you want to quit

every time you tell your horse to start walking, the player really swings their legs out & then you hear a THWACK and a Neighgihg! so i can't say im a fan of that

there's a lot of variety in the music !! you can even unlock different musics to select to listen to while you're on a trail ride. and when you're on trail rides, the top screen shows this cool little perspective of the tree canopy overhead!

that's from helena again shout out helena

overall, this game is pretty fun! there's enough variety in the activities to play it for about 30 minutes every day without getting bored. any longer than that and the repetition starts to get to you. if it weren't targeted towards kids it would be so cool if by the time you're at the expert levels, you're playing full on osu maps. it doesn't get that hard, but it's not easy! here's some screenshots of the game's guide that somebody scanned and uploaded to the horse game database

there's slightly less in the game than the PC version, but i had more fun playing this than gallop and ride, so i'm rating it 2 and a half stars!

★★✬☆☆

thanks for reading! & please send hopes and dreams to my poor 9 year old original 3DS

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rating red dead online

this game is really, really good. upon first appearances, this is a cowboy violence game in the 'horses are vehicles' category. however, unlike tears of the kingdom and skyrim, your horse is absolutely integral to the game. sure, you could just walk everywhere, but it would take way too long, and if anyone attacks you you're a sitting duck. having a horse is so critical that if somehow you lose all your horses, you can still whistle for the Last Resort poor quality horse. horses aren't The Focus of the game, but they're right alongside you the whole time.

the horseback riding mechanics are the best i've ever seen! when your bond with your horse is maxed out, you can not only do the dressage sideways walk thing, but you can drift around corners and rear in place. the movement tops Alicia Online! and the falling mechanics are equally incredible. if you ride too fast in the woods, a low branch can smack your player clean off your horse! if your horse runs into something and comes to a sudden stop, your player's momentum keeps going and you get thrown off! it's so smooth! it's incredible! the transitions between the different gaits are also so natural!

there's lots of different types and colors of horses, but you have to level up your Cowboy Rank to unlock them, so you spend a lot of time with the lower ranked horses before advancing up to your dream horse. there's no horse breeding. different horses have different stats.

there are horse races, but they often involve other objectives as well, like shooting targets and things, so there's not a lot of emphasis on just plain racing for speed. i think this is nice.

the quest where you steal your very own horse involves working alongside another random player, which means me and my buddy failed the quest four times and then i stole the horse closest to me without realizing i was choosing the horse i would be riding for the next 15 ranks. i named her Whoopsies. here's my second horse, Conk Crate Babey!

i couldn't get steam to take in-game screenshots and the print screen function apparently isn't capable of capturing all the colors of the sky, so it turned into this weird blur! it looks way better than that in game, i promise!

one thing that is massively better than the horse physics in Tears of the Kingdom is that the Horses Can Swim!!!

they don't even throw you off or anything! they just transition from wading to swimming! i spent like four hours trying to get my horse onto a boat in tears of the kingdom, so this is huge.

you can get horse insurance, and apparently insured horses heal on their own and don’t need the revive potion, and no horses will permanently die, but I think maybe that means no horse that youve taken to the stable and registered as your own horse will die, because there have been some side quest horses that didn’t make it.

you can tame and ride around any horses you find. you can even cut loose and tame horses that are hitched to wagons! you can even tame multiple horses and ask them all to follow you! but if a horse is 'wild', then you can't bond with it or saddle it.

the horses will also frequently raise their tails and poop on screen. never ever seen that in a horse game before

the ‘online’ part can be rough at times. everybody approaches the cowboy violence game with their own perspective on what’s the most fun way to play. for some that means peace and cooperation, and for others that means chaos and putting a dead animal on my horse before killing it and then reviving it in front of me. but you do have options! you can change your settings so that you have a much easier time surviving and avoiding player violence, or so that you have an easier time being violent. if you're killed by another player, you have the option to parley and be immune to their attacks in exchange for not attacking them. apparently it’s worse if you play as a female character, which sucks, but I did not do that so I cant say how that is. in all the missions i played, it seemed like half of the players were playing as women! I think that not knowing if the players around you are friendly or brutal really adds to the cowboy immersive experience! but if it’s really not for you, there’s a way to play in servers that are more abandoned, so it’s just you and the NPCs. there Is killing and shooting and blood and guts in the game regardless though

the environment that you ride in is absolutely beautiful! it's rough and edgy, but it's still colorful, unlike Skyrim. you're in frontier America, and you can find areas that are like the Pacific NorthWest and hear elk bugles, and you can also find the plains. and other places, but those were my favorites. the bug sound effects and nature ambient sounds are really really good, making this game an excellent Going Outside simulator.

there are multiple communities that organize group trail riding events in this game! The Rift Trails is one that puts a big focus on making it inclusive and safe for everyone, and they just did a bunch of pride events!

if you want to ride around a beautiful land while picking up odd jobs to pay for horse treats, this is a great game for you! if you want to ride around a beautiful land while becoming the most heinous outlaw to ever have lived, this is a great game for you! if you wanna be a cowboy. well. i digress

my favorite thing about this game is just how incredibly free you are to do anything you want! the ONLY things that i have tried to do and found that i could not do are 1. get my horse onto the train (was VERY happy to discover i could climb onto the train in the first place!!!) (WHILE it's in motion!!!) and 2. stab a quest guy to death when he specifically needed to be shot so he could survive on the brink of death and give a speech. but we were out of ammo. and had been retrying that quest for over an hour . so . that one kind of sucked

my Only complaints about this game are that sometimes the rockstar servers just don't connect and you get kicked off, and that it's so big that i could not play it until my laptop broke and i got a Gaming Laptop. look at this

thats so many gigabytes but i think these things are sort of Normal for games of this caliber. Par for the Course, if you will excuse the use of golf references

i'm rating red dead online five stars!!!!

★★★★★

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tumblr is letting me see my inbox again! thanks to everyone who added games to the list !! it's slow going until the horse game hyperfocus hits again but it Will Happen Eventually

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Horse Life 3 ✮ 2010

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Fuck TERFs (Thats the Name of the Horse

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horses made me transgender

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How much money have you spent on horse games by now

so far i have spent $42.24 usd total on 7 steam sale horse games which averages out to $6 per game. of these games, so far i have only rated emerald valley ranch, which my computer could barely run. everything else on the rated list i played for free, not including the prices of the consoles i already had

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Ecos: La Brea? Access costs 80 robux but it will be free once it leaves early access and it has a playble horsie

anon when i looked this game up i got so excited i teared up 10/10 thank you for submitting

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Free horse game suggestion: Tales of Rein Ravine?

for some reason this game gets caught in the safe search filter of startpage

[i-rate-horse-games]

rating Gallop and Ride for Wii

in Gallop and Ride, grandpa left you another decrepit ranch in the will. it’s up to you to get it up and running again, using your earnings from training foals as well as from winning little cross-country races in the neighborhood. you take good care of your horse(s) while you slowly rebuild all of the facilities and areas on your property.

i have no nostalgia for this game, and i’m sure i would have perceived it much differently had i played it in 2008. especially since that was before i had ever had a horse phase. back then i was still into cheetahs. just want to put that out there because there is a lot of love for this game.

the game begins with your grandma speaking with no subtitles, which surprised me and caught me off guard and because of this i have no idea what he said, but it was probably about the state of the ranch. in the character creator, the outfits for Girl and Boy are very different, and all the Boy outfits have no swag whatsoever. there are three skin tones and this one is the darkest one.(???) the girl hairstyles do allow pixie cuts so at least there’s that. in the face of gender segregation at least you can be sorta punk. i picked this girl outfit because it’s red and black like shadow tha hedgehogg. 

i was pleasantly surprised that after making my little guy, we were just popped into the world with free will, able to go wherever. this is the first time i’ve seen this top-down sort of perspective in a horse game, and i was strongly reminded of disco elysium at first.

this game reminds me of when i was about 10 years old and determined to write a bestselling novel about me taking riding lessons. my friends tried to tell me that it wouldn’t work because every riding lesson would be pretty much the same and the book would be really boring, but i stubbornly pressed on until i reread my masterpiece and realized that it was indeed boring. much like that experience, this game is about all the nitty gritty parts of ranch management. every morning, you roll out of bed and pick a few carrots from the back garden. then you jog down to the stables and feed your horses. this involves walking to the grain storage, filling a bucket, carrying the bucket over to the stall (you walk slower when carrying heavy things), and pouring it into the feeding trough. it does let you fill all the troughs with one bucket instead of having to walk back and forth to the grain dispenser, so that’s a nice little small mercy. maybe you muck out the stalls while you’re over there. (for this chore, you just click on the pitchfork and it tells you how many minutes it will take you. i think 6 or 9 minutes to muck out two stalls is pretty generous) then you’re out dashing to the foal training pen, where you’ve got two clients to train. this is your main source of income, and every mistake you make shaves ten dollars off your reward. you try to bribe the foals into being good with your carrots. with that done, you run back to your stable and brush your horses and pick their hooves.

the hoof picking minigame is satisfying, like a powerwash simulator, but the way the hoof just sprouts from the ground like a fungus really got me at first. maybe you’ve got the hose station unlocked now, so maybe you’ll hose off your horses next. that’ll clean your horses faster, but it lowers their trust, so you gotta brush them afterwards anyway. by now it’s about 11:30am. you saddle a horse and go for a ride. probably you should groom your horse after you ride all afternoon, but your person automatically quits everything and goes to bed at 6:00pm, so unless you've got a good grasp on time despite your ability to play at 2x speed, it's less risky to aim for grooming before and after.

the motion controls for riding are very strenuous because to go faster you gotta flick the nunchuck and wii remote like you’re slapping the reins on their neck, except raising the nunchuck or the wii are how you turn left or right, so you always end up off-course afterwards and you’re constantly correcting that and trying to get the horse straightened out before you get to the jump. the instructions for the motion control are just in a text box that pops up once with a wall of text and then pictures, so it took me a very long time to figure out how to slow down. however, the game does let you turn on button controls, and then you can just ride around normal style and it goes from stressful to relaxing to slow and boring very quickly. on a real trail ride you have the motion from being on the horse to keep you entertained, but for this game you’re just sitting on the couch staring at the TV as your horse progresses towards the next landmark. not as bad as horse isle 3, though.

there’s racecourses to challenge in the field, but your horse has to have a certain level of EXP to actually challenge them during the two days of the week that the races are running, so you do spend a lot of time just . going over the same logs, trying to level up faster. the little tasklist will tell you “it’s a wednesday! challenge the Windmill race!” and you’ll ride all the way over to the windmill and it will say “your horse isn’t experienced enough to challenge this race yet!” so why did it bother to tell you to try it? just to make you suffer? the game also doesn't tell you what the two bars on the bottom left actually mean unless you hover the wii pointer over it. which you probably wouldn’t do when using motion controls, as the wii remote is being used as a rein.

and now, dear reader, i must beef about the motion controls for training foals. much like riding, the only instructions are in diagram and text form. in other wii games, these diagrams are often animated to demonstrate exactly what motion is being asked of you. not in this one. please imagine, if you will, leading a foal around you in a circle. you must ask it to come closer in order to not fail the assignment and not be paid. you cannot. the foal shakes its head. it will not come closer. you give it a carrot, wondering if that’s the issue. it’s not. you’ve already got two strikes and with a third one, you’ll lose another client. you must get the foal farther from you now. but no matter how hard you swing the wii remote, the foal hears “go left!” and shakes its head at you, thinking you’re asking it to go faster. you fail yet again. it’s the fifth time in a row. there’s no tutorial foal to practice on. every job is timed.

finally, through a stroke of sheer luck, you discover that the motion control for getting the foal closer to you is not pulling the remote towards you. it’s throwing something backwards over your shoulder. the control for getting the foal farther away is not pushing the remote out, it’s throwing something to the ground. that was all it was. you can earn an income now. your head is in your hands. 

i almost gave up much earlier because of that foal training minigame. it reminded me of why wii remotes have safety straps. i went online trying to figure things out and the majority of the questions submitted to a forum in 2010 were asking how to train foals. however, i’ve now gotten to a point where the only thing to do is to earn money through that foal game so i can build the horse physical therapy center, which should boost my ranch’s rating up to 2 stars and let me start working on the 2 star facilities and continue working towards making my ranch ready for people to come pay me for trail rides. i have no will to continue. the foals… they have dulled my sparkle…

there’s definitely a lot more to unlock in this place, but it takes me a full hour to progress only 3 or 4 repetitive days, so it’s just not for me. if you like the sorts of games where your hard work pays off with expansions and a nicer and nicer base of operations, you’ll probably love this game! it’s smooth and polished and has lovely animations. also, you can buy a horse named Stripper.

it does have pretty jazzy music, but there’s very little music variety if any, just the same loop. i didn’t notice any great nature ambiance outside. the outside was very pretty, but also very big and it took my horse a lot of time and energy to traverse it. i complained a lot about the motion controls, but really they're the only challenging part of the game and everything else is just a test of patience and endurance. the frustration helps to break up the monotony.

to me, it has the same repetitiveness as Let’s Ride Friends Forever, and it’s less interesting than Emerald Valley Ranch, so i’m rating it 2 stars and putting it right between those two.

★★☆☆☆

with this game rated, i no longer have any horse games in progress! i’m free! wait. wait no i forgot about unicorn tails. unicorn tails is probably next, but feel free to suggest more horse games for the list! thanks for reading!

[i-rate-horse-games]

My memory is very fuzzy so I don't think this will be easy to find but there's a specific horse game I'm looking for. It started as one of those browser breeding sims with fantasy elements and the developer was making a sequel/remake in 3D that was way more complex and they posted progress on their tumblr. Is anybody able to recognize this? It was not SSO or Horse Islands.

hello! is it virtual horse ranch?

the vhr tumblr hasn't been active since 2015 but the vhr3D page's last update was in 2019!

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