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IUA-4 : The Unregistered Blackburn II

The Blackburn II was a military aircraft that became decommissioned back in 1931.

Somehow a seemingly brand new instance of the model was found just sitting in the middle of the cafeteria.

The mysteriousness of how a newly manufactured aircraft using an almost century old design exists today is offset by the burning question of how such a thing materialised itself in seemly the only big enough space to house it within an underground facility with the highest level of secrecy especially since it would have to be fully complete before somehow getting through passages that are far too narrow to allow it to stand in let alone squeeze around every tight corner.

As such the cafeteria has been converted into an impromptu confinement enclosure until further notice and measures will be put in place to replace the temporary barriers placed at the exits with more permanent and substantial defences even if the item has been inspected and has been noted to be completely devoid of fuel or ammo not in the sense that it has been spent but rather that it is still yet to contain such things.

After informing the air force of its existence we were told that all aircraft as manufactured have been accounted for leaving the aircraft's sudden appearance a complete mystery.

After being asked about the index number of the craft no such thing could be found anywhere on the item meaning that this craft is possibly yet to have a designation or at least has never flown on any official record.

Analysis of the engine suggests the former as there doesn't seem to be any level of wear on any of the parts inside.

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IUA-3 : The Electric Pea

So there's like this pea like i dunno a garden pea or a chick pea or something and it's like electric right and like ooh spooky the pea is full of energy so we locked it up right and then it got all mad at us and made all the computers go stupid and stuff and like this is a meme right this stuff's not real right this IUA stuff is a load of nonsense.

I've seen this meme online before because there was this art project and they said it was dangerous or something.

These guys are having a laugh.

Like they can hide an underground facility right here in the heart of New York.

What a load off hoo-ha.

Sorry fellas but your security stinks.

Me and the boys from MIT were able to break in in less than 5 minutes.

You're a joke.

April Fools and Happy Easter you dang clowns.

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IUA-2 and The Record Filing Error

I would like to apologise and express my deep disappoint with our record holding staff for the error that was found today.

It seems the identifier of IUA-2 was used on more than one item resulting is two sets of records that became confused with one another.

To rectify this the records were separated out and given their own new index numbers.

The earlier of the two sets of records now goes by the index IUA-767807 and the later by IUA-35.

The latter index recently became available after the previous IUA-35 item became declassified information.

I intend not to see a repeat of the actions of our record staff in future and I assure you i will take steps to ensure all such problems are dealt with in a highly efficient manner.

Here at IUA [link][/link] is our number one concern.

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IUA-1 : The Stick Figure

IUA-1 is a black almost opaque gelatinous humanoid figure who's body segments are narrow and cylindrical with uniform breadth throughout except for the "hands", "feet" and other extremities which taper to a point much like an animal's tail.

In this way it much resembles a childish drawing of a stick figure however its head is a single vertical shaft with a tapering shaft protruding forwards from the centre to for a kind of proboscis and two long tapering rods at the top of its head that curve backwards due to their weight giving the resemblance of horns though as they gelatinous they seem more like ears in the way they sway as IUA-1 moves around.

IUA-1 wears an orange jumpsuit with a white inner lining though the top part is unzipped and tied around the waist to act as a belt probably the pants would never hold by themselves to IUA-1's narrow frame.

IUA-1 was found wandering around aimlessly within the New York state IUA facility having seemingly lost its way and it calmly approached security staff tapping an officer gently on the shoulder to get their attention.

The officer took one look, immediately ran back into a corner and called for his partner who likewise turned around and saw IUA-1 and equally ran into the corner to meet up with the other officer.

IUA-1 attempted to communicate with the officers telling them to calm down using body language and gestures but was seemingly unable to communicate verbally.

The officers ordered commands to IUA-1 but IUA-1 seemed confused and tried to express that.

After a bit of back and forth that went nowhere the officers resorted to showing IUA-1 what to do using hand gestures to which IUA-1 was able to communicate that they understood.

The officers lead IUA-1 to a containment room where it patiently waited for the science staff's arrival.

Communicating with IUA-1 through a large glass window an in-house linguist first tried to use various forms of sign language in an attempt to find a language which IUA-1 understood but this just resulted in IUA-1's confusion.

Next they tried verbal communication using various common languages but equally IUA-1 seemed not to understand this at all.

By this point some rudimentary form of communication had been established by using commonly understood human body language and gestures but that was seemingly all we'd be able to use here.

The linguist suggested giving IUA-1 some writing tools to see if it would help them better understand so a touch tablet device was given to IUA-1 so that staff may be able to communicate with it.

IUA-1 immediately started trying to surpass the lock features on the tablet but was unable to get past the devices security thus showing that IUA-1 has a rather advanced level of technical intelligence which might explain how they were able slip by our security systems.

The linguist began communicating using drawings asking how IUA-1 had entered the facility by drawing IUA-1 entering the facility and a rudimentary drawing of a confused human face.

IUA-1 communicated back at a rather rapid pace drawing out that they had entered via the sewers after wandering through a wooded area and travelling up through the waste pipe exit it found there.

IUA-1 explained that they were shy about their nudity when around other humanoid figures and so had taken a jumpsuit from the sewer worker's offices.

In the process they learned that humans dislike the smell of the sewers though IUA-1 didn't feel the same about it thus on arrival to the facility they showered themselves before exploring further.

This confused IUA staff as IUA-1 had only said that they had used normal soap to clean and the smell should have at least clung to the jumpsuit even if IUA-1 had cleaned it like they said.

Trying to ask about this aspect proved difficult to communicate so IUA staff just decided to let it slip for now and instead turn their questioning more towards IUA-1's origin but it was at this point that IUA-1's drawings started to become more abstract and hard to understand so the staff instead asked IUA-1 about what they are to which IUA-1 compared itself to a flatworm.

Attempts were made to probe deeper into the make-up of IUA-1 but IUA-1 didn't seem to understand concepts such as biology, chemical make-up or atoms.

Staff asked IUA-1 if there were more like itself and IUA-1 through illustrations of recursion showed that there were at least tens of thousands of them that were currently living on the planet Earth and that they also inhabited a seemingly endless tunnel network that's entrances could be found all over the planet though IUA-1 in particular had originally found their way to Earth using the cave networks within Minnesota though due to their narrow frame and gelatinous structure they were able to slip through cracks that ran for miles that are far too narrow for human exploration.

At this point IUA-1 requested a bath of water to sleep in and IUA staff approved this request and told IUA-1 to wait for it.

IUA-1 then took the initiative in attempting to communicate back trying to teach basic part of its own written language by drawing symbols next to objects much like how a child would learn a language.

Unfortunately it wasn't very helpful as repeating the same symbol with certain objects much like a picture book might use the letter a for both apple and arm for example didn't exactly work when in IUA-1's native language the words that began with the same letter didn't line up with the same pattern of any known human language.

Instead staff told IUA-1 to write the word out in full and IUA-1 complied with this request.

They first started with words that relate to cave features and then moved on to plant and animal life.

Linguists noted everything down but unfortunately other than the exact examples IUA-1 had given nobody was able to decipher the language later other than how onomatopes form which shows that despite being mute IUA-1 was fully able to hear sounds.

IUA-1 was given a large bathtub full of cold water as requested with IUA staff making sure to give them a sealed body of water rather than anything connected to the pipes which they theorised IUA-1 might use to escape through.

IUA-1 seemed very happy with the bath and told staff not to look while they undressed and bathed.

IUA staff turned off the lights outside of the confinement room so that the large window would appear as a mirror to IUA-1 and watched as IUA-1 stripped and curled up asleep at the bottom of the bath.

The staff was glad that IUA-1 didn't understand that they were still being watched as they really didn't know what IUA-1 was capable of and thought it best to keep it under surveillance.

IUA-1 slept for an entire 56 hours before waking up rather quickly and getting dressed.

IUA staff by this point had stopped checking up on IUA-1 physically and though they were alerted by motion detecting cameras that IUA-1 was up and moving they were in no rush to go meet with it.

IUA-1 became bored and started doodling on the tablet in its room.

These drawings were more simplistic than normal and seemed to depict IUA-1 fighting a similar looking creature to itself though it lacked the horns on its head.

IUA-1 had written onomatopes for explosive sounds every time IUA-1 delivered a kick or a punch.

it seemed to depict a creature like IUA-1 but with something different between the legs being captured by the hornless one and IUA-1 saving the other horned creature and then entangling itself with them.

When IUA-1 heard IUA staff approaching they quickly erased the images but the entire process had already been recorded on IUA servers.

When asked about the drawings IUA-1 looked embarrassed and told IUA staff not to look at it.

The linguist said it was too late for that but they'd be sure not to let the other staff see this being a lie but one that would allow for future communication.

The linguist asked about the two different creatures that IUA-1 had depicted in their story and IUA-1 explained that the one that resembled itself was one that it had deep feelings for as it hugged itself gleefully and that the one without the horns didn't really exist and was considered in its culture to be a kind of generic evil.

IUA-1 then started expressing feelings that amounted to homesickness and asked to be let out of their enclosure.

IUA staff said that they could be let out soon after IUA-1 helped them with a few tests.

IUA-1 seemed suspicious at this response but agreed to do so anyway.

Testers entered IUA-1's enclosure and started performing tests aimed to discover exactly what IUA-1 was made of.

It wasn't long before IUA-1 refused to comply flattening down against the back of its head by using one hand and pointing at the testing staff with the other.

It's unclear what this gesture meant but it seems to be some sort of accusation or curse word.

Testers expressed concerns about IUA-1's behaviour as they were worried that IUA-1 may turn violent if testing was allowed to proceed so security staff were sent to IUA-1's enclosure to ensure IUA-1 complied with the testing.

As security forces entered the room IUA-1 panicked and started looking for an exit trying to keep their distance from security staff.

Eventually they realised there was no escape and seemed to calm down then they turned to face the exit and squatted down.

Security took this as a sign of submission but as they advanced further into the room IUA-1 charged at them dodgy left and right to avoid being shot and slipped through the crowd knocking a couple of officers off their feet in the process.

IUA-1 ran down the corridor and turned the corner faster than security officers had time to react so now it was up to camera operators to track IUA-1's movements.

IUA-1 started running through the facility in a random pattern and it became obvious that they had completely lost their way.

Eventually getting stuck in the currently empty cafeteria they could hear security forces approaching on all sides so they sat in the middle of the room appearing to beg to no-one but just then the escapee from the first addendum appeared before them and IUA-1 leaped into their arms and hugged them before the pair of them vanished.

From this we can conclude that our old friend was known to them and this is just my opinion but it almost seems like he's some sort of leader figure to them that i would equate to being a god in their eyes as it seems to me that IUA-1 exaggerated begging is not that dissimilar to the way in which some people pray.

I'm not saying that I personally believe that our old friend is a god of sorts but maybe they somehow encountered IUA-1's people and were able to convince them of it.

Of course this being the first time our old friend has appeared since the events of their escape it has caused staff to unwittingly speak their name and this has resulted in the loss of certain staff members including the linguist who communicated with IUA-1 earlier.

The linguist's behaviour since IUA-1's escape had become increasingly unusual and it appears as though despite all communications between them and IUA-1 being on record there was some information they were holding from us which maybe they as a linguist were able to gleam from events which other IUA staff were unable to.

Sadly, whatever it was they understood has been lost to us since their departure as no other linguists that have been brought in since have been able to read anything new from the records of the events.

Of course, for their own safety the appearance of the previously escaped item and its interaction with IUA-1 has been removed from any footage that is not kept with the highest level of secrecy.

I think myself lucky to be allowed to see the original ending to the security tapes something that is no doubt the product of my ability to explain situations in a way that reveals as little information as possible while still being informative.

And I hope that from here on in my placement in this company will go from strength to strength.

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IUA-0 : The Espionage Tool Craftsman

Claiming to be from a secret organisation that's tasked with protecting the world from threats IUA-0 has the ability to produce intricate mechanical devices each resembling ordinary household items but hiding a special function designed for combat, recording, sabotage, subterfuge and escape.

Given an item of ordinary composition and few pieces of scrap they can modify it into such items.

They were able to build projectile weaponry into writing equipment, grappling hook devices into wrist watches, and even put a communicator into a pair of glasses.

IUA-0 refuses to use their abilities on any item that would look out of place in a normal setting, but their abilities extend beyond handheld items into items of clothing, transport and even furniture.

They explained that they had worked with IUA-7 before but when probed further it appears that some other item had taken the moniker of IUA-7 rather than revealing their true identity leading to IUA-0's otherwise accurate recounting of events to be put under some scrutiny.

Whoever this item was they appeared to IUA-0 as human showing no signs of any traits beyond human ability.

IUA-0 did provide a registered identity for this item but official records show that the item was deceased even though IUA-0 was adamant that they were still alive and that even our infallible records had been tampered with.

Such a thing would be impossible and is a ridiculous concept to begin with, but soon after researching the registered identity IUA-0 was found to be missing from their containment with seemingly no method of escape.

Though they alluded to being on friendly terms with our friend from the first addendum they admitted to being employed in a rival cause and just like ourselves seek to take out the pest due to their meddling in IUA-0's mysterious organisation.

Unlike other escaped items i do not believe IUA-0's escape was done by our old friend but probably from the mysterious misidentified item that IUA-0 mentioned earlier, possibly triggered by our own investigation into their identity.

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The first IUA addendum

Listed before the first entry in the IUA itinerary is an article labelled addendum though it does not state which item it relates to.

We can surmise from its contents that it is in fact referring to an item that has seemed to interfere with every other item that the IUA has ever recorded and even items not on record or even known to the IUA as yet.

Attempts to digitise the addendum have been met with failure as any attempt to describe its contents to any method outside of the document result in the evidence being erased from the medium including the human mind though this only applies to the listener and not the speaker as the speaker's source of information is the document itself.

The document refuses to be given its own numeric index as does the item it describes except for a single-syllable common name which should not be spoken out loud.

For the sake of ensuring that this document is not also erased all i can say is that speaking the name aloud will result in consequences that will directly interfere with the IUA's current plan of action.

If via methods outside of the document you make contact with the item it describes please do not listen to what it has to say.

Though it may seem like it means you well it also wishes to disrupt the IUA's current operations and that could have severe negative effects for everyone.

At the IUA [link][/link] is our number one concern and failing to comply with these instructions will result in your immediate termination as a member of the faculty.