i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all - Tumblr blog

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

Does anyone else think Min's father is eventually going to get so angry that he does something to land himself in jail?

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

GUESS WHAT IT IS BABY. CHAPTER 10. OF MY FIC. i've set a precedent for how long these things have to be now, jesus fucking christ.

this one's an emotional doozy. trust me.

if you haven't read my fic go do that :)

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

are you telling me americans have stores that open up SPECIFICALLY for halloween and just. dont exist any other time of the year. you people are insane

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

i don't think youtubers should be allowed to advertise online therapy or credit cards or prescription hair loss treatments. can you sell me a candy bar or something

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

a quick “why is my life so bad” checklist

how’s your sleep schedule

have you eaten or drank anything besides sugar and caffeine

how long have you been sitting in one spot

have you gone out in public recently

have you taken a shower/brushed your teeth/groomed yourself properly

have you spent time doing an activity that doesn’t involve a screen

etc

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

Happy Labor Day. Today I learned about probably the first strike to happen IN SPACE.

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

happy Labor Day

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

You may be good, but are you "fucked a man so hard he created genre re-defining art so incredible that it has reached across multiple mediums and impacted them for generations to come" good?

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

I need a badge that says "Nothing happened, I'm just disabled" to wear when I use my braces or other disability aids. Maybe abled people would stop asking me about it then.

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

Things That Hurt When You Have Fibromyalgia That Should Not Hurt:

Blood pressure cuffs when doctors take your blood pressure.

A simple poke from someone else, especially on the tender points

Tripping over something - only mildly, not a bad trip. I trip over things and it hurts like a Bitch.

If I accidentally graze my arm or my body against a wall a bit or something, it also hurts like a Bitch. Again, I'm not talking about badly, I'm not being pushed into a wall or something.

Standing. Just for a few seconds. I actually don't know for sure if this is really a part of my fibromyalgia or actually normal for everyone. But it really fucking hurts to stand for even a few seconds.

Walking for even just an hour hurts. And the longer I walk, the worse it hurts.

The simple act of. Cooking. It hurts to hold the pots/pans, especially with one hand. I can't really lift pans/pots because I'm weak, but also it just Hurts. It hurts to mix things in the pots/pans.

(Others can feel free to add on).

Common Descriptions Of Pain When You Have Fibromyalgia:

Feeling like your whole body is bruised, or some parts of your body.

"Feels like I was in a car crash"

Stiffness, throbbing, aching, soreness, tenderness, fatigue. Your body feels exhausted, and not even necessarily that YOU feel tired, but your body feels tired.

"Feels like being stabbed with a knife"

"Like someone has taken a hammer and hammered all over my body"

"Like I'm hungover"

"Like I ran a marathon"

"Like perpetually having the flu", "Like you have a fever constantly"

“It feels like I’ve been carrying two huge buckets of water that I can’t put down.”

"Like I did a full body workout"

(Amongst many other descriptions)

Common Habits I've Developed Throughout My Life As A Result Of Having Fibromyalgia:

Constantly leaning against walls and frequently switching which foot I'm leaning on more.

Asking people if they wanted to sit down, or if they wanted a chair to sit down somewhere, because I thought they were in pain too. Them declining and me thinking "but doesn't it hurt to stand?? You've been standing for like 15 minutes, aren't you in pain??" They are not.

Constantly sitting down, and/or wanting to sit down, wishing I had a place to sit down.

Not really a habit, but I always end up freaking out a bit when I worry that I've hurt someone. I realized that I would constantly apologize to my girlfriend because I thought I hurt her accidentally (very mild things I mean, I'm not saying I fucking punch him or some shit lmfao), only for her to be confused and say that it didn't hurt. It takes conscious effort to remember that what hurts me does not hurt most other people without fibromyalgia or a different chronic pain condition.

I've had fibromyalgia for pretty much my entire life.

I believed that these things were normal for everyone.

I would look at people and watch how they'd do things like simply lifting up a box or the ways people talk about walking for hours just for fun and just not understand why they were doing it because that hurts?

Growing up, when my brother would ""lightly"" punch me, or my dad would poke me, etc., it always hurt really bad, and my brother shamed me (my brother was severely abusive in many ways, yes) and would go "oh my God, please, you're being dramatic, I didn't even punch you/poke you hard at all." I truly don't think he WAS punching me that hard, I just had fibromyalgia so it hurt like twenty times worse (I'm not excusing his behavior, by the way, I'm just explaining that things that would hurt somebody with fibromyalgia wouldn't hurt most other people without it).

I grew up constantly wishing that I could float so that I didn't have to walk or stand.

I was always aware that I had certain spots around my body that felt much more painful than other parts of my body, such as the sides of my arms, my hips, etc. I also just figured this was how it is for everyone.

If you relate to anything this post, I definitely suggest seeing a rheumatologist or a neurologist (I was diagnosed by a rheumatologist) and finding out the cause of your pain.

None of these things are "normal."

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

[i-want-it-all-or-nothing-at-all]

The mind numbing anger of chronic fatigue is getting irritable because you're so fucking tired but you really feel like you SHOULDNT BE.

You SHOULD be able to sit at a desk and do work. You SHOULD be able to just watch a freaking YouTube video. You SHOULD be able to just eat fucking lunch.

But you can't. Because your eyes are closing and it's like temporary death is taking you.