iambutterfly00

[iambutterfly00]

If you can pinch it, you can lose it.

[iambutterfly00]

Do it for every time you cried over your body

Do it for every time you hated what you saw in the mirror

Do it for the “after” photo

Do it so you stop being jealous of other girls

Do it so you can raise your hands above your head and not care if your belly is showing

Do it so you can wear anything you want and still look good

Do it so you stop comparing your body to girls who don’t even know you exist

Do it so compliments stop feeling like lies

Do it so you can sit down in jeans without holding your breath

Do it for the joy of existing without guilt

Do it for yourself

stop being lazy

just do it, for ana..

[iambutterfly00]

Headaches are worth the result.

Hunger aches are worth the result.

Dizziness is worth the result.

[iambutterfly00]

dream body..

[iambutterfly00]

food noise is loud. but the sound of you complaining about how fat you are and how much you wanna lose weight is a LOT louder. choose your "loud".

[iambutterfly00]

Im starting this diet tomorrow and will do it for a week before I start fasting again. Four days of binging is killing me.

Oh but instead of two potatoes I’m only gonna have 1.

If anyone wants to join lmk we can be moots

[iambutterfly00]

I really tried to have a party.

My wedding.

Growing up, parties for me have always been lots of food, lots of people… and lots of pain.

The day before our birthdays my sisters and I joked were always “the worst day ever”. Cleaning, yelling, cooking, never good enough. Never good enough. Never good enough.

My mom would wait until everything was PERFECT before feeding us. Sometimes I’d be dizzy while I cleaned trying to get everything done so we could stop to eat.

But eating was only a reward for everything being done and perfect.

If you ate all of the work would stop. And then nothing would be good.

My wedding was so much stress already. I promised myself my wedding day would be a sacred memory that I couldn’t taint with running into the house to purge or nibbling on tiny bites of my huge expensive meal.

But my mother was unhappy.

My sister was unhappy.

My best friend was unhappy.

Everyone is unhappy when I’m not anxious or when I eat. It’s just a pattern that’s happened forever. And it just happened again.

On the small occasion when I have a gathering and I don’t eat, everything is fine. Everything is PERFECT.

Eating makes me imperfect. Maybe if I’m small and delicate I won’t be so big and making everyone unhappy.

[iambutterfly00]

Three-four days of eating a ton cause of my wedding… ughhhhh

Tomorrow I’m gonna start slow with a low intake and then I’ll fast the next day and lock back in. I wanna get to under 120 so I can get a tattoo 😝

[iambutterfly00]

B/c with the new pants I found at goodwill

[iambutterfly00]

i dislike it a lot when ppl say “i’m new to this can u tell me how to lose…” like this isn’t a fun little diet u can get in on it’s a disorder

[iambutterfly00]

Ughhhh I b/p harder than I ever have before right before work. My jaw is tight now and i feel more hungry because of it (which is also making me happy cause that means I emptied out pretty good lmao)

Fasting will be hard but I got this. That craving is out of my system from the past week so I should be good until rehearsal on Friday

[iambutterfly00]

Yeah see idk why I b/p just now but I did. WTF is wrong with me.

My fast has become only 54 hours now

[iambutterfly00]

I don’t know if I am gonna be able to pull this off but I gotta. Fasting until my rehearsal dinner hopefully. 🤞

Allowing myself ONE cup of coffee a day and the rest is water and Coke Zero. If I get dizzy or too weak to do wedding prep I’ll let myself have half a meal replacement shake (80) but that’s it. I know that technically breaks the fast but if I pretend it doesn’t it will help me not b1ng3. Anyone wanna fast with me?

[iambutterfly00]

Had to break my new fast only 18 hours in cause I was gonna pass out at work and as affirming as that would be I don’t wanna get caught. 240 cal salad down and started a 24 hour “easy” fast to start out after a b/p. Yip yip

[iambutterfly00]

Pvrging harm reduction masterpost (from someone who’s had severe bul1m14 for 3 years, and who wishes they’d gotten this advice)

I get asked a lot and see posts asking for “tips” around pvrging.

I absolutely do not condone it. It’s a horrendously dangerous, unpleasant, and addictive behavior, and often a slippery slope to full-swing bul1m14 (and trust me, that is not something you want, for the sake of your wallet and sanity).

However, I do acknowledge that that doesn’t get in the way of the urge to do it. It certainly didn’t for me. That’s not how 3ds work. Being told how dangerous and horrible something is often is just more enticing. I know people are going to try it regardless. And frankly, I’d much rather focus on tips to stay safe over just telling you “don’t do it” like a Christian parent preaching abstinence. Harm reduction is king, especially on a platform like 3dblr.

So, here is a list of things to help you stay safe.

1. I feel like I should reiterate this again- if you at all can, don’t start. It’s not the c4ls-be-gone magic spell it might seem to be. Starting is what ended my r3str1ct1v3 phase. I thought it’d just be a last resort for when I ate too much. Fast forward to now, it’s been 3 years since my first time and I consume a good 6k+ c4ls every single day, have g4ined a ton of w3ight, feel like shit all the time, have no control around food, am constantly broke, have done things that would make people gag, and have all the risk with no reward. Ultimately, you will not l0se w3ight with pvrging. It gets harder and less effective the longer you do it. While the “you can only get rid of 50%” you often hear is a myth, being bul1m1c destroys your control, and eating maintenance in addition to whatever c4ls you didn’t manage to pvrge will inevitably lead to w3ight gain over time. It simply isn’t worth it.

2. DO NOT USE FOREIGN OBJECTS. It is legitimately so dangerous. Massive choking hazard and generally terrible for your throat. If you can’t get a response with your fingers, don’t do it. I promise, getting rid of some chicken nuggets is not worth getting a plastic fork lodged down your throat and almost dying. (Yes, I am speaking from experience)

3. Some people are simply incapable of inducing v0m1t1ng. It’s more common than is talked about and is completely normal. Frankly, if you have urges to pvrge and find that you can’t do it, consider it a sign.

4. Do not brush your teeth directly after. This is because the bristles of your toothbrush will rub the acid into your enamel, increasing the chances of decay.

5. Baking soda is magic. Swish about a teaspoon with some water in your mouth to neutralize the acid. Swallowing some (significantly less- about 1/4 to 1/2 tsp) is also an easy remedy for acid reflux. Get checked and have your teeth cleaned at the dentist’s regularly- if damage starts occurring, you can catch and mitigate it early.

6. Maintain good dental health as much as you can. Continue to brush and floss regularly. Keep in mind, however, that you can’t avoid tooth decay forever. It’s inevitable with long-term pvrging.

7. One of the biggest risks is electrolyte deficiencies. You often hear of people dying from cardiac arrest. This is because thr0wing up depletes your potassium, which helps with muscle contraction. Your heart is a muscle. If it’s unable to contract, it will fail. After pvrging, replenish your electrolytes. Coconut water, Gatorade, pedialyte, anything that contains the nutrients you just got rid of.

8. Also remember to stay normally hydrated. Even just drinking water is better than nothing. pvrging dehydrates you.

9. DO NOT FLUSH. It’s one of the most dangerous games you can play.

10. Try and eat something safe after the fact, especially if you’re having symptoms of low blood sugar (shaking, dizziness, sweating, a rapid heartbeat). This can be easier said than done but it’s crucial to getting back to normal. Something easy on your stomach with some c4rbs is ideal- toast, rice cakes, crackers, etc.

11. Avoid hot showers or baths or exercising directly after. You will lose more water through sweating. Wash your hands and face- especially around your chin and mouth, pvrge-induced acne is a real thing- and rest for a while.

12. Warm drinks or cold foods like popsicles or ice cream are very soothing on the throat. Throat coat tea and hot chocolate are quite nice. The former may be best if your stomach isn’t feeling well.

13. You will bloat like crazy whenever you eat if you pvrge long term. It’s hell on your digestive tract in general. It’s one of my biggest struggles and pet peeves. Honestly, you can only really wait for it to go away. Remember that it will with time, and do something to distract yourself from it. Some things that in my experience have made it less severe are to eat at a reasonable pace, chew your food thoroughly, and sip drinks rather than chugging them.

14. L4x4t1v3s absolutely aren’t worth it. You don’t really get rid of anything and it’s a fast track to dependency and being horrifically constipated whenever you don’t use them. Stay away. If you must, opt for natural remedies like teas, fiber-rich foods, chia seeds, etc.

15. If you take medication, wait several hours before pvrging. It obviously won’t work if you just get rid of it.

Feel free to reblog this with any advice of your own. I hope this helps some of you; stay safe out there.

[iambutterfly00]

my name is Al Coholic

[iambutterfly00]

I AM 1.4 POUNDS AWAY FROM MY FIRST GW GUYS