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last christmas man me a sand but the very next day man car door hook hand

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My dream for the election is that it’s definitive. I want a 2012-style Election Day where everyone built it up beforehand to possibly be close but then the results start rolling in and it was like “Oh, nevermind. It’s obviously Obama. Everyone go to bed.”

I just want voters to put a stake right through the heart of Trumpism so that it crumbles to ash before our eyes. That’s the dream.

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happy november 5th to these two. godspeed wherever they are now

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I have a lot of respect for the guy who did the study about wolves, the one that came up with "alpha wolves". Because normally when you fuck up science, it just causes some delays and occasional pop-sci nonsense.

Dude fucked up science so badly he invented an entire new genre of pornography. I can only dream of being so influential.

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far from prudish but just got blazed porn of someone's pussy spread out so hard and up close like it's a map of the polish-lithuanian commonwealth and I'm king and grand duke sigismund II augustus inspecting his lands to plot defense against the swedes

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I was literally saying to my therapist, “I think the core of my intimacy issues is—” and then the internet went out and our zoom call crashed. I left her on a real cliff hanger

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I’ve been trying to leave Rome for a few weeks now, but all their roads have this weird design flaw

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when i tell you i had an aneurysm

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oh buddy it’s only monday monday

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YOURE 30???????

yeah I mean i've been posting on tumblr since 2011, I'm part of the geriatric tumblrinas

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Happy indigenous peoples day!

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#not jack having a mouthful of her tiddy #king of self restraint