iamnotaduckyet - Tumblr blog

[iamnotaduckyet]

rip to this wasn’t this a fun time

[iamnotaduckyet]

does this exist

[iamnotaduckyet]

kinda wild that i actually grew out of this :/ gotta keep in touch with reality nowadays

[iamnotaduckyet]

[iamnotaduckyet]

hey <3

[iamnotaduckyet]

who is ariana grande’s battle advisor? -> #thevoice

[iamnotaduckyet]

does rping still exist im tryna escape the real world shit is stupid as hell

[iamnotaduckyet]

i wish i didnt grow out of this what the fuck!!! i wish i had time to rp lol

[iamnotaduckyet]

imagine getting to enjoy life and rp <3 cant

[iamnotaduckyet]

its def time for me to start focusing my energy into rping a little bit more again ♡

[iamnotaduckyet]

omg hi sorry i’ve only been here when ive been in bad places LMAO im better now my therapist straightened my sad ass out and got me into some groups and my surgery is hopefully actually fucking happening this week. im gonna do a giant recap of my life in this post because i neeeeeeeeeed a place to vent because what the fuck has my life been 

tw for death, family death, cancer, medical talk, surgical talk, anxiety, bipolar disorder, coronavirus, and eating disorders

LITERALLY WHAAAAT THIS SHITS BEEN CRAZY

hi i left my boyfriend in july i assume y’all are caught up on that. so. 

fast forward to college! sixth college semester! should be ready to rock and roll! i was! but corona sucks and online classes sucks and untreated bipolar disorder sucks and insane anxiety disorder sucks. i was getting sick, i wasnt able to eat because i got sick whenever i did so i just... quit eating bc it hurt so bad. it wasnt going too hot for me. i was failing all 16 credits (lol) and soooo fuckin far behind. anyway then my dad died october 7th which was awful and horrific and i had no notice i left for work and he was fine and then i came home and he was gone and it was fucking awful. he had lukemia for three years, which we knew of, but it was in remission until the week before he died. he had one chance, an experimental chemo, which killed him after one dose. my chest hurts every day and i miss my fucking dad. fast forward to october 22nd, i’ve lost 25 pounds since my dad died, i havent been able to eat for a solid week at this point, and now anorexia is on my chart and the only reason it seemed that i couldnt eat was just.. grief and anxiety. so i got sent to psych. fun. they told me i need a therapist and nausea medication. anyway the week after that i still wasnt eating but i got exposed to covid so i got the fucking coronavirus (IN MY OWN HOUSE) (ugh im so mad about this i have been so careful and good this whole time, i wash my hands until they bleed and wear my mask and make others wear their masks and social distance and isolate myself from my family YET I STILL AM THE ONE WHO GOT IT!!!!!!!) anyway that fucking sucked and my inability to eat just got a lot worse, i had gone like a week without even being able to keep water down so i got sent to the er and they finally figured out that i either have gallbladder problems or ibs... just my luck. i have fucking both. ibs has no cure and the only way to fix a gallbladder problem is to just take it out. so i get to have surgery this wek to have that taken out, but i still get to live with ibs the rest of my life so... whats the fucking point lmao. im repulsed by food now because it took three months for me to get any fucking care and now my bodys just used to food making it sick so this is fucking great! did i mention my dads birthday is christmas? i also hit a deer and am failing classes and doing poorly at work and im exhausted and constantly irriated and anxious always i have like three panic attacks a day now i am not even a functional human being whos getting food and water let alone being able to take medication and just calm down and i havent gone a day without being high in months thats kind of concerning lol bye 

[iamnotaduckyet]

now i need a surgery my life is fun here is where i go to vent sorry about that im miserable and i have no where else lol hi guys

[iamnotaduckyet]

im literally just posting here because i need a place to vent but all in october and november my father died, i was in the hospital, THEN i got covid, an extremely terrifying situation happened on my college campus and i :) am :) suffering :) not to mention my dads birthday was christmas and now im bitter about a holiday that i used to love and i hate it and i want to love christmas again and have it be associated with good things

[iamnotaduckyet]

DEV PATEL Lion (2016) dir Garth Davis

[iamnotaduckyet]

arianagrande: happy VMA Day :)

[iamnotaduckyet]

this is an ugly mobile post but hi im morgan im 20 years old and i really really really want some more discord 1x1’s!! im flexible im down to clown like this and i will come to u for plots i have a ton of muse

[iamnotaduckyet]

hi i would literally give anything in the world for someone to use cris calenda against me in a discord 1x1 i love that mans anyway if ur willing pls like this and i will come to u mwah