icameassceneasicould2 - Tumblr blog

[icameassceneasicould2]

[icameassceneasicould2]

Lay on my back like a $5 hooker

[icameassceneasicould2]

Can I submit my face? :p

You sure can! :) Thank you for the submission ^.^

[icameassceneasicould2]

I've changed so much in the last 6 years, it's insane.

[icameassceneasicould2]

I feel so much better now. Conquering the darkness.

[icameassceneasicould2]

Trying to justify that my life is worthwhile.

How can a day be ruined by something so stupid? There's got to be something wrong with me.

[icameassceneasicould2]

Last night was the closest I've been to suicide in a long time. I'm sick, and I need help.

Please save me.

[icameassceneasicould2]

The overwhelming screams of suicide are taking over. I just can't take it anymore.

[icameassceneasicould2]

I forgot how good it feels to starve, it's a soft internal pain. They say no pain no gain, and this really is no different. I want to be thin. I want to die.

[icameassceneasicould2]

How the fuck am I in a relationship with a guy who barely makes an effort to talk to me? I'm even more lonely than ever.

[icameassceneasicould2]

Wanting to kill yourself. Is that addictive? The thoughts, the feelings, the way you end up crying for help?

[icameassceneasicould2]

My life's supposed to be okay, I have a boyfriend, I'm working a job I love, yet it's still there. I want nothing more than for my life to end. Why? Because at the end of the day, despite who I've spent time with, or what I've done, I feel worthless. Why? Because I'm not the best, and I simply can't grasp that. Why try, when you can't be the best. I'm alright, mediocre, but nothing more than that.

[icameassceneasicould2]

It seems like the only answer.

[icameassceneasicould2]

Am I beautiful enough yet?

[icameassceneasicould2]

There's one person on this planet who I wish would talk to me right now, except he's probably forgotten about me, like a discarded wrapper. That's all I am, just discarded waste.

[icameassceneasicould2]

I'm never going to feel happiness again, am I?

[icameassceneasicould2]

I've never felt this alone. It feels like the only answer left, how can I live this life, so alone, so isolated, with nobody to care for me, nobody to love me or hold me when I feel like this. I don't know if I'll ever experience this feeling of being loved by someone. I've been so close, it's cruel, and it just gets snatched away from me. Is this going to happen to me for my entire life? Am I going to suffer alone? I don't care if I become the most famous boom op, or the most successful person on the planet. What use would all this success be, if I have nobody to share it with. I can work out and have the most beautiful body, but if nobody is going to fall in love with me and who I am, it's all waste. That's a real shame, it really is.