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*James and Regulus skipping stones on lake*

James: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Regulus, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

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schrödinger's flirting. i mean it as much as you do

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I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

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I am right about things you have never even heard of.

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Embarrassed myself a few days ago and since then I've been periodically going like this

Ignore the part where he gets naked that's not part of it.

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[VISIBLY ABOUT TO START GNAWING MY OWN LEG OFF] no yeah haha i love change :)

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when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

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i want to- *remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health* kill someone else

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bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

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ughhh fine *experiences emotional growth*

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fuuuuck that is my circus. are those…? yep… those are my monkeys….. goddammit.

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here's the thing. whenever u say "eat the rich" the rich automatically make a sad lil face :( :( :( and go "well that's not very nice. what if we turned around and said eat the poor, huh? that wouldn't make you feel very good, would it?" which is. an insane statement to make. because baby, honey, sweetheart. you are eating the poor. every goddamn day you are eating the poor. and worst of all. you aren't even fucking hungry.