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"Any time , Bobby. I'll do my best to be here when I can and you need me." he spoke and nodded. "Yes you do. " he let a bit go of him. "That's no problem, we can just sit together and quiet and judge people" he judged as he sat down next to him. The joke was, of course, that the gym had only both of them, and that this was the gym at the institute so it was indeed empty.

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The joke pulled Bobby's mouth into a small smile. He settled to silence and put his head against Jean-Paul's shoulder. He closed his eyes, and just allowed himself to be for a moment. He knew he was safe, and immensly tired. Just being like this helped him ground himself and eventually he was able to stand up and continue a small and rather light end of training session with his gym buddy. Until they left the gym and went their seperate ways for a hot shower.

"Any time , Bobby. I'll do my best to be here when I can and you need me." he spoke and nodded. "Yes you do. " he let a bit go of him. "That's no problem, we can just sit together and quiet and judge people" he judged as he sat down next to him. The joke was, of course, that the gym had only both of them, and that this was the gym at the institute so it was indeed empty.

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Bobby: I was thinking , next week ? Bobby: I put my finger on wednesday Bobby: so Wednesday !

Rogue : oh, that's not happening, no chickening out of this one <3 Rogue : i bet Jean will be able to get you sorted soon Rogue : just let me know when so i can close up the office for the day

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Bobby : Yeah Bobby: I don't know, I haven't spoken to Jean yet , but soon Bobby: otherwise I'll chicken out of it Bobby: aaaaaaah

Rogue : really?? Rogue : Bobby that's amazing Rogue : do you know when you're gonna do it?

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Bobby : I'm going to do it Bobby : The Jean thing

Rogue : hey yourself, sugar Rogue : what's up?

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Texts to Rogue

Bobby : hey you

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Bobby tried to inhale and exhale. He closed his eyes and reflected on Jean-Paul's words. He saw the scene in front of him, clear as day. They were outside of the institute, he was on the roof, thinking about things... and there was Jean-Paul, telling him he could fly..and he did. Be gentle with yourself, that was hard. He did not like to feel shame, and yet he was so ashamed, of what they made him do, of what he had done. He thought that if he could prove to the world that he was strong, it could all go away...but there was the lie. He couldn't make it go away. The harm had been done, had healed, and some of the scars, the scar tissue, caused this , the pain...physical as emotional. He hugged JP back again. "Thank you...for being here." he whispered into the other man's ear. "I guess...I have a phone call to make." he added. "But...I'll just sit here for a little longer, if that's all the same to you"

"cheat? " he asked , finguring quite easily what he was going to say (shhh). "And what's wrong with cheating a bit, Bobby? " he paused and let a hand go on his back. "There is no shame in it. You thought you couldn't fly, because you said you were creating ice to glide in the clouds, that's still flying to me ...allow yourself to feel proud, no one is going to think less of you because you decided to heal. " he explained. "It is always better than working yourself out to death...you know you would have hurt yourself if I wasn't here. Please Bobby, be gentle with yourself."

[icebobbles]

Robert Drake - 32 - Mutant Alpha/Omega - Accountant

Current :

No one knows he's gay beside Rogue

Suffers from severe PTSD he is seeking help for

lives with rogue and is her accountant

low contact with his parents

Once upon a time

Born to a Jewish mother an irish-catholic father, Bobby first discovered his abilities at a young age when he found himself unable to stop feeling cold and shivering. Only years later would he reveal his true nature, when saving his date from a school bully who was out to attack them. Sadly this only brought fear and for his own protection, the local sheriff brought Bobby into custody. The story made it to Charles Xavier who sent Scott to recruit Bobby. After turning him down, Bobby and Scott were however cornered by a mob and would have been hanged if it weren’t for the Professor using his abilities. Grateful for the saving, Bobby enrolled. He secretly yearned to be like Scott.

He eventually became an X-men, one of the younger members. Despite his self-conscious self, his lighthearted approach to disaster often eased tensions among his teammates and open the most recluse young mutants at the school. Using his skills and knowledge to teach younger mutants, he spent most of his time on school grounds, jumping into action whenever needed, until New York and the Inhuman war.

It was mostly the inaction decided on the mutants part that made him leave the team. On his way to the airport, he had an encounter with Johnny who thought he was the one who attacked him thinking he was someone else. Even if he missed his flight after that, he did make it to Los Angeles, where he attended the UCLA until recently. He came back to the academy even if he is still debating on resuming his role as X-men.

Bobby was forever changed after his time in Zemo’s captivity. He had been freed, thanks to Kitty’s ingenuity but he felt a sense of survivor’s guilt after he was free and she wasn’t. He helped to track them down and bring her home. Like Kurt, he tried to help her after her ordeal, but still has his own demons to deal with. Like the rest of the X-Men, he signed and seems to be doing much better, even if he’s hiding his own trauma from everyone else.

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The hug only registred when he smelled Jean-Paul's cologne , and while he wanted to fight it at first because , well the other mutant was not really , he had never thought that someone like him would be so kind to him, he just let it go, knowing that he could trust at least Jean-Paul's words about him being safe with him. He licked his lips. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was as far as he could go. There wasn't just emotional damage, there was some physical too. Jean's words came back to him. "Maybe ...Jean....offered to...fix me...but...I have not given an answer yet...I just feel like...like it's a ..." he couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence.

"I'm going to give you a hug okay? If it bothers you, just push me away." he stated and slowly put him into his arms and held him steady. "I know you are working on it, for almost 4 years now , but clearly , you've come to the end of what you can do to heal. " he spoke. "Maybe it is time you let someone pull you to the finish line ? "

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Bobby sighed and looked away. " It makes me so tired afterwards that I can fall asleep. But to this extend I haven't done in quite a few months ...I suppose it's because it nears the anniversary of...it" he admitted.

"That you did, to the point of fainting." Jean-Paul agreed, and he felt himself a bit more calm and relieved to see Bobby regain control. "You said again, I take it it happens more often than not when you're alone ?" he asked.

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There was no point in fighting anything. So he trusted and just let go , he focused on a point in front of him and focused on the touch Jean-Paul was providing. He nodded at the question and took the bottle. Little sips, it felt good, the fresh sugary taste. That was the thing with falling down, once you landed, that's when everything became always too much. "I pushed it too far again" he admitted after a while of silence or so he felt. And there it was, a sigh of relief , relief that it was passing, that he didn't feel that dizzy anymore or out of focus with reality.

"Shh, you're fine, just focus on getting your heartrate down." he replied. "You're alright, you're with me, you're safe, it will pass, just give it time ." He held him stable , held him safe , grounding him as much as he could with small hand mouvements. In this state of daze, he just wanted to prevent an episode or a trauma response. "Here, have some gatorade" he offered, gabbing it really in the blink of an eye.

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The other mutant was quicker than him. The feeling of bliss was one of in and out , ponctuated by burst of feeling extremely dizzy. He was holding onto Jean-Paul's arm , trying as much as he could to regain control of his body. He obeyed the command and focused on his voice and his breathing, it was so fast, he felt the overworking of his muscle pulsing , his mouth was dry. It reminded him of - no - the ice baths - he shuddered and shook his head. "I'm....I'm sorry." he whispered not feeling grounded or out of this state of extreme fatigue.

Jean-Paul was quick to see the life quit Bobby's eyes and came closer to give him support. "Hey, hey, easy, easy, you're okay, you're okay, I've got you." he whispered while getting him safely on the ground and kept him against him. He could hear the frequency of his heart, racing so much . He had not been careful enough , he could have prevented this all together. He wanted to believe that Bobby was fine, enough ... but Bobby was sneaky when it came to how he escaped his reality.

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continued from (x)

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"The prospect of getting ice cream , makes it indeed less scary. " he agreed with a small smile. Rogue was making the world better for him for sure, a better place to be, less scary , far more stable. It felt at times unfair, cause he felt like he couldn't be her yellow person most days. "I wonder what the healed version of myself will look like ... will I be an asshole like Logan ... or a martyr like all the Avengers."

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"I'm not done with my training session yet, but I'll stretch afterwards for sure" he replied and chucked down a good amount of water.

Logan cocked an eyebrow at the question and glanced at the weights. "Depends. Stretch and I'll think 'bout it." He played along, concerned by this idiot but seeming less serious than just before.

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"I'm pretty sure I reached that point of no return several time in my life already. " He stated and winced when he sat up on the bench. Okay, he felt a bit lightheaded, that wasn't good. Yet he loved the feeling of falling at the same time. He felt the blood pumping, he felt almost like he could take on anything or nothing. He in fact did not realize he was passing out a bit.

Jean-Paul was not dumb yet only showed it through a raised eyebrow. "Well that's what gym buddies are for. Just don't injure yourself over something stupid, that would be bad for your reputation" he tried to spin it with some humor.

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Bobby seemed to snap out of something and pushed up with a last exhale to put the bars back into their spot. "Already? " it seemed like he was missing some time. He sat up and downed some water and took the towel to get the sweat out of the way. The seriousness in Logan's voice was not lost on him, but he just wanted to think that it was his teacher voice, always better to lie to one self. "Can I get the A+ now , professor? " he joked to try to diffuse the tension.

Logan was bad at those kinds of things, asking for news, showing interest. He cared for his family, of course, but making the first move was almost a miracle for the old man. Hopefully, Ro was helping him with that kind of stuff, that was how he ended up there. He frowned when he got closer to Bobby, hearing his heartbeat and sensing his body struggle. "That's enough kid." He ordered with a serious tone.

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"I'm not sure I can do anything with that status, Storm ." Bobby stated , so defeated by this set back. He was torn between so many emotions. "I'm not sure I am in control of what will feel that missing piece... " he admitted in a long sigh and sat back up. He was looking in front of him, far away to fight back tears. "I just wish I could at least take some rest, I'm so exhausted , I was prepared to do this , I was so ready to find closure with my testamony and rest...but...now ... maybe I am strong, but even strong people need to...fonction on a very human basis. "

Ororo let him speak his peace. She felt for him. She really did. The room grew colder and she felt the shiver before it moved down her spine. Once his face fell into his hands and he spoke his peace, Ororo moved to sit beside him. As much as she wanted to reach out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, she felt that the touch may do more harm than good. “You were robbed, Bobby, and I wish I could give back that part of yourself that you are missing. But if I have learned anything, it’s that the emptiness from that missing piece, you can fill with something new. Something stronger. And Bobby, you are so strong. Stronger than most people who endured what you did. You are not a victim. You’re a survivor.”