Bisexuality is not the same for everyone. Some people like one gender more than the other, some equally, some in different ways. The point is, if someone says they’re bi, they’re bi. Respect that.
respect to all my depressed kids who brushed their teeth and removed their makeup before going to bed tonight, i’m proud of you, be kind to yourself, you deserve it
Imposter syndrome is the idea that you’ve succeeded at something by luck rather than skill or hard work. Do you find yourself responding to compliments with things like “oh god, I tricked them into thinking that I’m good” or “it was a complete accident that I did that well” or “everyone here is so much better than me, I never know what I’m doing”? Sounds like you have imposter syndrome. Well good news: the first step to dealing with imposter syndrome is recognising that you have it!
The second step is recognising that your put-down thoughts are irrational, and learning to reframe your thoughts to avoid a negative feedback loop. As you can imagine, this is the hard bit. But nothing is impossible, and here are some ideas to help you beat the beast:
One person can lie to you to make you feel better. It’s unlikely that twenty will. So if many people are saying things like “you speak well!” or “you write really well!”, chances are, you’re actually doing well!
Certain people might fudge the truth to make you feel better, especially in the beginning of your journey, but you can work out who’s going to fudge, and who’s going to be honest. A teacher, for example, is going to tell it to you straight. Your native friends, depending on what sort of person they are, are likely to tell it how it is too. Listen to these people!
Recognise the progress you’ve made. Read something you wrote months, or even years ago; it might make you cringe, but you should be able to spot your mistakes and fix them! That means you really have put the work in to improve! Maybe listen to a podcast you used not to be able to understand and see how much better your comprehension is!
Talk to someone who knows what it’s like. Someone who’s taught themselves a language to C1/C2 will know how it feels to make that journey, and may have felt the same as you, and they will be a good judge of where you stand and be able to talk some sense into you!
It’s okay to make mistakes; no one’s perfect! Just because you messed up a verb conjugation one time, or forgot a word you thought you knew, doesn’t mean everything’s been a lie! Humans forget things, and different situations can stress you out in different ways, making you trip up in a way you hadn’t anticipated. That’s okay!
See if you can get any third-person accounts. I recently had a German lesson, where the person who went in after me came back and told me that the German teacher had been talking about how good my accent was. The teacher had no reason to mention this to the other student, so they must have been genuinely a bit impressed!
Have you moved out of your comfort zone and feel uncomfortable, making you think you’ve faked it all? But you just moved out of your comfort zone! No wonder you feel uncomfortable! The fact that you’ve had to push yourself just means that you’re succeeding and need to explore more territory!
Find concrete proof. Did you get a good grade on a piece of work you handed in? Do you have a certificate that says what level you’re at? These are objective views of your skill!
Recognise that you’ve put a lot of work in to get where you are. Even if it wasn’t consistent or high level, you can’t learn a language for 3 years and not be putting any work in. So you’re going to move forwards, even if you’re only studying 5 minutes a day on average!
No one knows what they’re doing, and everyone thinks they’re going slower than everyone else. Do you know how many people on my Physics course thought they were the idiot of the group? I’d get people who were getting 80s on all their work coming to me and saying they felt like they weren’t doing well enough! Give yourself a break- you’re doing well!
i think one of the things that makes queer eye so special to me is that like. ok with a lot of makeover shows you see there’s this idea that style is this one size fits all thing but it’s just. not. i just love that the guys on queer eye really seem to take personal taste and style into account and elevate what the people already like and turn it into something that actually looks great rather than just being like ‘but this is what’s POPULAR you should wear THIS’ and in the process force people to wear something/do something/live somewhere that makes them uncomfortable