identity-thief-impersonator

[identity-thief-impersonator]

when I was a teenager and a young adult I really didn't understand a lot of things about racism particularly anti-black racism. so I read books written by black people about it. I recommend this method to anyone who is tempted to make their lack of understanding the responsibility of the group that they do not understand

[identity-thief-impersonator]

[identity-thief-impersonator]

baking vids like this make me die laughing every time like I know what will happen before the video finishes but it's just so funny to me

[identity-thief-impersonator]

im largely insulated from the dogshit posts i see people complaining about so I have to intuit the shape of them through whatever vague snide remarks I suddenly see an influx of, like a really shitty version of platos cave or something

[identity-thief-impersonator]

someone stole my beloved block of ice and left behind a slick, cold puddle as a calling card. count your days soggy bandit

[identity-thief-impersonator]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[identity-thief-impersonator]

all animals have a place in the ecosystem and that includes humans and im sick of encountering edgelords who say the earth would be better off if we were wiped out. you wanna mess things up for every species that has adapted to live alongside us? as far as i can tell our existance is pretty intertwined with the world we live in, and caring about animals should include caring about humans because we're also animals. so we should probably focus on doing good with the resources we have instead of fantasizing about a big nuclear reset button. you sound like a pokémon villain.

[identity-thief-impersonator]

older gentleman just gave me a lecture on how when I decide it’s time to find a wife I need to buy myself a pair of loud colorful socks and sit around with my legs crossed to show my ankles and women will flock to me

[identity-thief-impersonator]

i’m le.arning so many rules toda📝y

[identity-thief-impersonator]

I don’t understand why people who cannot accept any moral grayness or complexity decide to join fandoms for the most emotionally complex stories and then try to shame everyone there who actually is able to understand the material.

[identity-thief-impersonator]

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

[identity-thief-impersonator]

my husband has this image saved for whenever i grow distant

[identity-thief-impersonator]

i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire

[identity-thief-impersonator]

Wave in Backlight - Peter Witt

German , b. 1966 -

Oil on canvas, 80 x 80 cm.

[identity-thief-impersonator]

“He would not fucking say that” except its the badly written source material so he did, in fact, say that

[identity-thief-impersonator]

[identity-thief-impersonator]

the idea of a 24 tb hard drive is terrifying you're telling me I could put a magnet in the right place and commit an act on par with burning the library of alexandria