idhruven

[idhruven]

From Wishing to Winning: Harnessing the Mighty Force - the Payoff will be worth it! ⏳

Have you ever felt like you're constantly battling against unseen forces? Like no matter how hard you try, you're just treading water? The truth is, we all face challenges and setbacks. But what if I told you that you have the power to turn these obstacles into opportunities for growth?

From the moment you take your first breath, you enter the arena of life, a constant struggle between good and evil. The minute you were born, you got involved in the war between darkness and light, between negative and positive, between evil and good, between tyranny and democracy, between weeds and human activity! I mean, the war is on. If democracy sleeps, guess who never sleeps? Tyranny. In the absence of light, guess what’s automatic? Darkness. If good does not arouse itself and become active, guess what moves in? Evil. It’s a war. A mental war! A physical war. A financial war! Between enterprise and ease. Between accomplishment and failure! It’s a war. That’s why there’s an Old Testament phrase that gives the best advice for human activity when it says six days labor, one day rest! Now, I’m sure we’ve taken that to mean don’t work all seven days, take one off. Here’s what it also means. Only take one off or you’re liable to lose the war! Enterprise is better than ease. If you rest too long, the jungle overtakes the village! Now, here’s the good news about the war between good and evil. Evil is no match for good, but good must be active!

Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Once I understood this, this altered the course of my life! Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. And here’s the big one. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills! You don’t need less problems. You simply need more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge! Wish for more wisdom. Accept the challenge because you can’t grow without a challenge. You can’t get rich without a challenge! You can’t fly without gravity. You have to understand the challenge. But that’s the key, is to now develop wisdom to overcome the challenge! Don’t wish for less challenge, but more wisdom. And then here’s one more philosophy to help change your life forever. You can do the most remarkable things no matter what happens! Humans can do the most remarkable things no matter what happens. Philosophies that changed my life!

Get stronger. You can develop the muscle! You can develop the courage muscle. You can develop the inspiration muscle! You can develop the dedication muscle. You can get stronger! There isn’t anybody that can’t get stronger. Next time we meet, I may not even recognize you. How strong you’re gonna be able to become in language, in style, in personality, the ability to cope, the ability to handle with anything that happens, no matter what happens! Get better. We can all get better! I’ve gotten better. First interview I gave, I stood up. My mind sat back down. But here’s the secret to my success. I stood up and did it again! And I did it again and I did it again all those many months ago. I did it when I was scared! And I did it when I didn’t want to. And I did it when I was ill! And I did it when it didn’t work well. And I did it when they didn’t appreciate it! And I did it a lot of times when I didn’t know much what I was doing. I just did it anyway! I got better. I got better day by day and week by week and month by month, and I’m asking you to do the same thing until you can develop a long arm and a long reach, until you can develop influence that won’t quit! Touch people next year you couldn’t touch this year. Touch people now you couldn’t touch before! Conduct a meeting now you couldn’t conduct before. Heart and soul now mixed in there that wasn’t there, missing before! I’m asking all of us to get better in spite of the winters, in spite of the downturn, the money downturn, the social downturn, the personal downturn, whatever it is. Just get stronger! Get better. The key is not to wish for a better winter. The key is to wish for more strength, more wisdom, more courage, get better, get wiser, get stronger!

Forming and refining your personal philosophy of life is a process that never ends. It started way back when you were a child! The schools you attended, your parents, your experiences – all of these factors have played a role in developing your philosophy. Your personal philosophy is the major factor of your destiny! I used to think that circumstances ordered my life. If someone would have remarked to me when I was twenty-one, “Mr. Shah, you’re not doing well – you are behind on your promises to your family. You live in America and have every reason to do well, yet things are going badly. What is wrong here?” It would not have occurred to me to blame my philosophy. I found it much easier to blame the government, to blame the VISA status, to blame the tax problem. I used to say taxes are too high. The top tax rate when my grandfather started paying taxes back in India was ninety-seven percent! Back then, when your income reached a certain level, all the money you earned beyond that was taxed at ninety-seven percent. Now the top rate in USA is half that, and people are still saying that taxes are too high. But if they’ve decreased so substantially, how can they be too high? I threw all my old excuses away. It seems that some people have found them, though! And they’ve picked them up, dusted them off, and they’re using the excuses themselves. I used to blame the traffic, the weather… all sorts of circumstances. I found it easier to blame the company than to blame myself. I used to say, “If this is all they pay, how do they expect me to do well?” I figured that my future was going to be tied to what was going around me – the economy, the VISA, interest rates, retail prices. I had a limitless supply of things to blame until my mentor taught me where the problem really resided – in my own personal philosophy. 

What makes us different than dogs and birds and cats and spiders and alligators? What makes us different than all other life forms? It’s the ability to think, the ability to use our mind, the ability to process ideas and not just operate by instinct. It’s the ability to form our own personal philosophy! In the winter, geese can only fly South. Human beings are not like geese! We can fly South if we want, but we can also turn around, go North, go East, go West – we can determine the entire process of our own life. We do that by the way we think. We do that by exercising our mind. We do that by processing ideas and coming up with a better philosophy, a better strategy for our life! We can set goals for the future and formulate plans to achieve those goals. All this comes from developing our philosophy! A philosophy helps us to process our options. Is it possible to take the raw material we’ve all been given and turn it into something spectacular and unique that no other person can do? The answer is YES. But you cannot even see all these options, let alone know what to do with them, unless you start using your mind to come up with ideas to strengthen your philosophy. That is a major challenge of life!

Each person’s personal philosophy is like the set of a sail. If you want to trim a better sail, you don’t need a better economy. If you blame the economy and the marketplace, the schools and the teachers, the sermons and the preachers, the company and its policy, what else is there? When some people get through with their blame list, there’s nothing left to blame but themselves. It is a colossal mistake to blame the only things you’ve got to work with! You know you can’t change the seasons; you’ve got to take them as they come. What can you change to make your life work better? You must start with your philosophy. Once I got rid of all my old excuses and started examining the real problem – my personal philosophy – my life exploded into change. My bank account changed immediately. My income changed immediately! My whole life instantly took on a new look. The early results from making these philosophical changes felt so good that I never stopped the process from that day forward. Once you set a better sail by refining your philosophy, your whole life’s direction can start to change from that day forward. You don’t have to wait until tomorrow! You don’t have to wait until next month. You don’t have to wait until conditions are perfect! You can start this whole process immediately. I recommend it!

Let’s suppose that you have been hard at work for developing a strong philosophy. You know exactly what you want to accomplish in life! You know you want to get a good education, have a successful career, make some profitable investments, raise a family, and have your children turn out well. You may even know how you want to go about achieving these objectives! You may have it all planned out in great detail. All that is very important! All that is very good. But is it enough? I’m afraid not. Let’s also suppose that there’s a vast, hugely powerful force that nobody can withstand, and this immense force is always active and in furious motion. It never rests! It’s like slowly flowing river that can eventually carve the Grand Canyon out of solid rock. But that comparison doesn’t really do it justice! The force I’m talking about is much more formidable than any river, ocean, glacier, or other natural phenomenon. In trying to achieve your life’s goals, would you prefer to fight against this great force that has the odds overwhelmingly in its favor, or would you rather enlist this great power for your cause and make the inevitable work for you instead of against you? Take your time before answering. Think it over. 

By the way, the great power I’m talking about is Time. Time is the mightiest force in the world – even the Universe! Of course, the answer to the question I posed is very obvious. Why would you ever choose to fight time when you could have time on your side? Who wouldn’t want to harness the great river of time that flows through all of life? Why wouldn’t you want to use the power of time to generate power in every area of your existence, to turn the turbines of your hopes and dreams, to charge your every aspiration with lightning bolts of electricity? There is only one way to make time work for you, not against you – Patience.

There’s a type of person who undertakes every activity out of the desire to achieve a goal. He prepares food to eat, not just for the fun of being in the kitchen! He starts a business to make money. He exercises to get in shape! I’m sure some of these people are very successful, and they are certainly highly organized. But a person with a truly refined philosophy sees success as an adventure, not as a point with an estimated time of arrival! The latter approach is impatient thinking. Impatient thinking can lead a person into some very big mistakes! When you are always looking somewhere else – whether it’s down the road, up toward the top of the mountain, or off toward the left field fence where you’re hoping to hit that grand slam home run – you often miss what’s under your very own nose! You never know when you’re going to come across a book or article that will provide a piece of information that can transform your life. One thing is certain, however – the book you don’t read isn’t going to help! And it’s the same with meeting people. You never know who is going to be able to teach you exactly what you need to know! Even if you don’t need to know it now, you might need to know it at some point in the future. That might not be for fifteen years… but it just might be in fifteen minutes, too. 

A patient man is always richer than an impatient one, even if the patient man has less money. What do I mean by that statement? Well, riches and wealth can take other forms besides dollars and cents. In what sense is the patient man richer? The answer is actually very simple. A patient man is always richer than the impatient one because the patient man can always afford to wait! The patient man is never desperate. The patient man has time to spare, while the man in a hurry is always on the verge of bankruptcy as far as time is concerned! In any situation you can think of, impatience is a source of weakness and fear, while patience represents substance and strength. And here’s another reason why patience gives the person who has it an incalculable advantage over those who don’t have it – it gives him deeper insight into himself and others, which is a mark of philosophical refinement. If you can only see the short term, if you think only in terms of the here and now, then you are stuck in one place! You can’t judge distances. You live in a world that’s flat and two-dimensional. In other words, the impatient person lacks all sense of perspective! Perspective lets you measure your current plans against things that have already occurred and against your desires and aspirations for the future. Then and now, here and there, near and far, need and know, watch and wait – these are the dual optics that allow the patient man to see in stereo. The near-sighted person sees only the present; the fantasizer sees only an imaginary future and, more likely than not, trips over his mistakes trying to get there. Patience enables you to see the big picture! It helps you to make the most of today while building a better tomorrow. For that reason, it’s one of the most valuable equities of all, one that you should make every effort to acquire. The payoff will be worth it!

- Dhruven Mihir Shah

[idhruven]

Customer and Company - a magical thing! 🏢

It’s a great story! I had a trip to Irvine last month and I put myself up at the Marriott Hotel there - which is a lovely hotel. And one of the reasons it’s lovely is not simply because of the fancy beds - any hotel can buy a fancy bed - it’s because of the people who work there. That when you roam the halls, and somebody says “Hello!”, you get a distinct feeling that they wanted to say, “Hello!” and not that they were told to say “Hello!” You know, we’re highly attuned social animals. We can tell the difference! It’s like people can tell the difference whether they’re forced to give good service or they want to give good service. Anyways, they happen to have a Starbucks in the lobby and so, one afternoon, I went and bought myself a cup of coffee! And the barista working that day was a young girl named Phoeboe. Phoeboe was funny! She was engaging and charming and I enjoyed buying a cup of coffee from her. I stood there for far too long just to buy a cup of coffee because I enjoyed talking to Phoeboe! 

And so, as is my nature, I asked Phoeboe, “Do you like your job?”, and without skipping a beat, Phoeboe said, “I love my job!” 

Now, in my line of work, that’s significant. Because *like* is rational - I *like* the people, I *like* the challenge, I get paid well, I *like* my job. Love is emotional! It’s a higher order connection - “Do you love your wife?”, “I *like* her a lot!” It’s different! It’s a different standard and not the same, right? 

So, Phoeboe said. “I love my job!” 

And, immediately, my ears perk up! This girl has an emotional connection to her job. 

So, I followed up and I said, “Can you tell me specifically, what Marriott is doing that you would say to me you love your job?” 

And again, without skipping a beat, Phoeboe said, “Throughout the day, managers would walk past me, and ask me how I am doing. They asked me if there’s anything that I need to do to make my job better. Anything they could do for me. Not just my manager, any manager!” 

And then she said, “I also work at a different hotel. And there the managers walk around and just catch us when we’re doing things wrong. There they’re always overbearing and trying to make sure that I make my numbers. There they’re just trying to drive performance!” 

She says, “There I just keep my head below the radar. I just want to get through the day and collect my paycheck.” 

And then she said something magical. 

She said, “Only at the Marriott, do I feel I can be myself!” 

So, think about that for a second. This is the exact same human being and yet the level of performance will be completely different, right? In two different jobs, and yet our experience of her will be profoundly different, not because of her, but because of the leadership environment in which she works. In one experience it will be amazing, and in one it will be terrible, right? 

And so often, and I hear this all the time, leaders ask, you know, “How do I get the most out of my people?” Well, people aren’t a towel, you don’t wring them out and squeeze them! “How do I get the most out of them?” - it’s a flawed question when it comes to leadership. The correct question is - “How do I create an environment in which my people can work at their natural best?” That’s called leadership. And the Marriott has figured that out! It’s by giving her agency, by giving her control to do the job the way she wants to do it, and checking in to make sure the leadership isn't there to do her job for her or to overly control but to offer guidelines, but also offer support. And the same goes for any profession! 

And when we can create a trusting team, teams in which people feel trusted and trusting, what will happen is it makes them feel safe enough to raise their hand and say, “I made a mistake!” or “I’m having trouble at home and it’s affecting my work.” or “You promoted me to a position where I don’t know what I’m doing and I need more training.” or “I need help!” or “I’m scared.” If we do not have trusting teams, what we have is a group of people who show up to work every single day lying, hiding, and faking. They hide all of the mistakes for fear of getting in trouble! They won’t admit that they don’t know what they’re doing for fear that they’ll be humiliated. They’re certainly not going to say that they’re scared or they need help for fear that it will somehow reduce their value inside the organization. And eventually, things will compound and break!

···

We’ve seen what happens. I know you’ve seen the news a few years ago when United Airlines dragged one of their customers off the plane with a broken nose, broken teeth, and a concussion! I feel sorry for every person who works on that plane. I feel sorry for the crew because every single one of them knew that it was the wrong thing to do. And yet none of them intervened because they feared getting in trouble or breaking the rules more than doing the right thing! This was not an anomaly. This did not happen overnight! It was not that crew. It was the culture in which the crew works! I had an experience many years before that started to show the evidence. I was waiting to board a United Airlines plane on a business trip, and I witnessed a scene play out in front of me where one of the passengers attempted to board the plane before their group number was called, which, as we all know, is a serious crime! And that’s exactly how the gate agent treated her. 

“Step aside, ma’am! I haven’t called your group yet. Please step aside, and wait till I call your group!” is how he talked to a paying customer. 

So, I spoke up! 

I said, “Why do you have to talk to us that way? Why can’t you talk to us like we’re human beings?” 

All he revealed to me is that he was more concerned about himself than he was about his customer. It’s that his leaders don't trust him to do the job for which he has been trained to do. He has no agency or control over the job that he does. And guess who suffers? Customer and Company. The reason we like flying Southwest Airlines or Emirates or any of these other airlines is not because they have some magical formula to hire the best people! But the people who work there feel like they have agency, that they have the power to do their job the way they’ve been trained to do it and make the right decisions. And guess who benefits - Customer and Company. They feel that we trust them and they trust us back! That is the responsibility of leaders. Leadership is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of those in our charge! And they will offer us their best ideas. They will take risks! They will solve problems. They will work together. It’s a magical thing! 💛



-Dhruven Mihir Shah

[idhruven]

Stress gives us access to our hearts! ♥️ 

In the past year, have you experienced relatively little stress? How about a moderate amount of stress? Who’s experienced a lot of stress? Yeah? Me too! I’m currently studying health psychology, and my mission is to help people be healthier and happier. But I fear that something we’ve been told is doing more harm, than good, and it has to do with stress. For years, we’ve been told, that stress makes us sick! It increases the risk of everything from the common cold to cardiovascular disease. Basically, I’ve turned stress into the enemy! But I’ve changed my mind about stress, and today, I want to change yours.

Okay! Some bad news first. People who experienced a lot of stress in the previous year had a larger increased risk of dying! But that was only true for the people who also believed that stress is harmful to your health. People who experience a lot of stress but did not view stress as harmful were no more likely to die! In fact, they had the lowest risk of dying, including people who had relatively little stress. This freaked me out! Here, we’ve been spending so much energy telling people stress is bad for your health. So, this got me wondering: Can changing how you think about stress make you healthier? And here the science says yes! When you change your mind about stress, you can change your body’s response to stress. 

When we are probably a little stressed out, our heart might be pounding, we might be breathing faster, maybe breaking out into a sweat. And normally, we interpret these physical changes as anxiety or signs that we aren’t coping well with the pressure. But what if you viewed them instead as signs that your body was energized, was preparing you to meet this challenge? If we rethink our stress response as helpful. That pounding heart is preparing you for action. If you’re breathing faster, it’s no problem! It’s getting more oxygen to your brain. And people who learned to view the stress response as helpful, well, they are less stressed out, less anxious, and more confident, but the most fascinating finding to me is how their physical stress response changes. Now, in a typical stress response, your heart rate goes up, and your blood vessels constrict! And this is one of the reasons that chronic stress is sometimes associated with cardiovascular disease. It’s not really healthy to be in this state all the time! But when people view their stress response as helpful, their blood vessels stay relaxed. Their heart is still pounding, but this is a much healthier cardiovascular profile! It actually looks a lot like what happens in moments of joy and courage. Over a lifetime of stressful experiences, this one biological change could be the difference between a stress-induced heart attack at age 50 and living well into your 90s! And this is really what the new science of stress reveals, that how you think about stress matters. So, my goal as a student of health psychology has changed. I no longer want to get rid of your stress. I want to make you better at stress! And we just did a little intervention. If at the beginning of this blog, you answered ‘Yes’ or nodded to a lot of stress in the last year, we could’ve saved your life, because hopefully the next time your heart is pounding from stress, you’re going to remember this blog and you’re going to think to yourself, this is my body helping me rise to this challenge. And when you view stress in that way, your body believes you, and your stress response becomes healthier. 

Now, I said I have over a long time of demonizing stress to redeem myself from. I want to tell you about one of the most under-appreciated aspects of the stress response, and the idea is this – Stress makes you Social! To understand this side of stress, we need to talk about a hormone – Oxytocin, and I know oxytocin has already gotten as much hype as a hormone can get. It even has its own cute nickname – The Cuddle Hormone, because it’s released when you hug someone. But this is a very small part of what oxytocin is involved in. Oxytocin is a neuro-hormone. It fine-tunes your brain’s social instincts! It primes you to do things that strengthen close relationships. Oxytocin makes you crave physical contact with your friends and family! It enhances your empathy. It even makes you more willing to help and support the people you care about. Some people have even suggested we should snort oxytocin… to become more compassionate and caring. But here’s what most people don’t understand about oxytocin. It’s a stress hormone! Your pituitary gland pumps this stuff out as part of the stress response. It’s as much a part of your stress response as the adrenaline that makes your heart pound! And when oxytocin is released in the stress response, it’s motivating you to seek support. Your biological stress response is nudging you to tell someone how you feel, instead of bottling it up! Your stress response wants to make sure you notice when someone else in your life is struggling so that you can support each other. When life is difficult, your stress response wants you to be surrounded by people who care about you. Okay, so how is knowing this side of stress going to make you healthier? Well, oxytocin doesn’t only act on your brain. It also acts on your body, and one of its main roles in your body is to protect your cardiovascular system from the effects of stress. It’s a natural anti-inflammatory! It also helps your blood vessels stay relaxed during stress. But my favorite effect on the body is actually on the heart! Your heart has receptors for this hormone, and oxytocin helps heart cells regenerate and heal from any stress-induced damage. This stress hormone strengthens your heart! And the cool thing is that all these physical benefits of oxytocin are enhanced by social contact and social support. So, when you reach out to others under stress, either to seek support or to help someone else, you release more of this hormone, your stress response becomes healthier, and you actually recover faster from stress! I find this amazing, that your stress response has a built-in mechanism for stress resilience, and that mechanism is human connection. 

Now, one more bad news first – for every major stressful life experience, like financial difficulties, or family crisis, it increases the risk of dying. But – and I hope you’re expecting a ‘but’ by now – but that isn't true for everyone! People who spent time caring for others showed absolutely no stress-related increase in dying. Zero! Caring created resilience. And so, we see once again that the harmful effects of stress on your health are not inevitable! How you think and how you act can transform your experience of stress. When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage! And when you choose to connect with others under stress, you can create resilience. 

Now, I wouldn’t necessarily ask for more stressful experiences in my life, but this science has given me a whole new appreciation for stress. Stress gives us access to our hearts! The compassionate heart that finds joy and meaning in connecting with others, and yes, your pounding physical heart, working so hard to give you strength and energy. And when you choose to view stress in this way, you’re not just getting better at stress, you’re actually making a pretty profound statement. You’re saying that you can trust yourself to handle life’s challenges. And you’re remembering that you don’t have to face them alone!

-Dhruven Mihir Shah

[idhruven]

#ShaneriForever💛 || #Krabs🦀

A Love Letter to Heaven:

"It was that day that I realized, no matter how many strangers I meet, no matter how many people I surround myself with, there's always going to be a void. There's always going to be a gap that you left! No matter how many times I cried my heart out, there would always be pain. Not because you left, but because your presence was short lived! You went so soon. You went even before I could make you proud! You left even before I could tell about all my dreams and the things that kept me alive! I look at the old photos and all the pain starts all over again. I wish I could tell you one more time that you were the light that illuminated my path, you were the hero who rescued me from my own demons but the reality remains the same, you cannot love someone back to life! But then you remember the memories that filled your heart with happiness, you remember the person who's gone, for all the good things they did for you. And instead of feeling agony, you feel proud! So, instead of crying over you, I'll be proud that I knew you, that you were a part of me and no matter who comes in, I'll always love you. You'll be in my heart, right here! Right here! Right here! Right here!"

A Reply from Heaven:

"Yahin Hoon Mai! Yahin Hoon Mai! I'm right here!" 💛

[idhruven]

#ShaneriForever💛 (Trailer) || #Krabs🦀

Sometimes you can't carry everything into your next chapter. I know that growing can be uncomfortable, but keep growing. Keep growing! You are moving on from this part of your journey and into the next. Sometimes your arms can't carry everything and everyone into the next chapter! Don't shrink yourself to resist change. Spread those wings and fly to where you know you need to go to be your best self!

[idhruven]

#ShaneriForever💛 ll Teaser #Krabs🦀"

Funny how sometimes we just find Courage. Like when the Sun tried outshining her this morning. She smiled and said, "We'll see who's still shining at the end of the Day!" 🌞

[idhruven]

His four arms stand for His immense power in helping humanity. The noose and goad borne in two of His hands stand for His all-pervasiveness and grace. The broken tusk held in the right hand shows that He is the refuge for all. His huge belly is indicative of His tolerance and also signifies that all things, the entire Universe, are contained in Him. His feet stand for the bestowal of attainment of desires and knowledge. The Modak in His hand is symbolic of jnana, conferring bliss. His mount, the shrew, represents the worldly desires which are to be overcome! 💙

[idhruven]

Leadership is determined by service!

"कहीं पहुँचने के लिए , कहीं से निकलना बहुत जरूरी होता है।सही वक़्त पे कट लेना चाहिए, वरना गिले - शिकवे होने लगते है !" Translation: "To reach somewhere, you need to leave something behind. It's best to leave things at the right time otherwise you're left with too many grievances, complaints and regrets!"

I recently made a humungous change in my career and decided to follow my passion. And just as the Universe has its mysterious ways of working, I started meeting more amazing people, sharing my exact same vision! However, I felt that there are such impressive dreams and ideas buried in their hearts, and somehow, fear disguised as practicality doesn’t let these desires manifest. I personally, undertook this mission to help people bring their absolute best, and it has been one of the most meaningful journeys of my life! It has become my calling, to lead these people, and guide them to their own dreams, and in turn, it has helped me realize my dreams. Not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great because greatness is determined by service. Leadership is determined by service! Now, we live in a world, where everybody wants to be famous and where we admire people for just being famous. We think being known brings us value! The truth is all of that will fade in time. The real truth is that the service and significance that you bring to your service is that which is lasting! And if you look at all the most successful people in the world, whether they know it or not, they have that paradigm of service. When you shift the paradigm of whatever it is you choose to do to service and you bring significance to that, success will, I promise, follow you. Service and Significance equal Success! That’s what true leaders do. However, you cannot change the way our leaders lead. I wish we could! No number of anonymously sent books will suddenly change the way that they lead. We can keep trying but it won’t work! We must be the leaders we wish we had. We can’t change the way somebody three, four, five levels above us are leading the company, but we can take responsibility for how the people to the left of us and how the people to the right of us feel when they come to work. By the way, the person who we work for, our boss, they’re a human being too. And though they may be difficult, do we really know why? Are they just genetically difficult people? They may be. It absolutely is a possibility! Or maybe they are under extreme stress that we don’t know about. Or maybe their boss is an extremely difficult person, and it just filters down. Or maybe they were never taught how to lead, and they are just trying to make the best of it, and they’re lying, hiding, and faking every day! But there are so many reasons and so, sometimes going into our boss’s office and saying, “Hey! You were really tough on us in the meeting today. I just want to make sure you’re okay. Are you okay? I’m worried about you. We’ve all been going through a lot during this time, and so have you!” Being a leader doesn’t just mean being a leader to the people on our level, it means being a leader to the people around us. And so the way we lead from the bottom of the totem pole is the exact same way we lead from every level of the totem pole, which is, we take care of those around us, and we’d be the leaders we wish we had. Leadership is nothing to do with rank. It has nothing to do with where we sit on the totem pole. It’s how we take care of those around us. Leadership is the awesome responsibility to see those around us rise!

[idhruven]

Against All Odds!

Love is not just a feeling – love is an action, a manifestation of emotion, a choice, a moment of faith where we decide, with all of our selves, to be with and to be for that person, no matter what. For some reason, we’ve told ourselves that love is beautiful, is easy. That when we meet ‘the right’ person, they’ll fall into us so gently, so beautifully. That when we learn who we’re meant to be with, everything will fall into place, like puzzle pieces finding their matches, like simplicity. But real love is complicated. Real love is messy. Real love is decisions and actions and thoughts and emotions, and continually learning who someone is and how that someone can fit into the chaos of our lives. Real love is knowing all the ways in this world, this person and you are imperfect – but believing in the fact that you will make a beautiful relationship, regardless of everything and everyone that says you won’t. Love is not just a feeling. It is a choice, a decision, an action, a movement. A movement towards another, despite what stands in your way. Despite all the ways the world will tell you to give up or walk away. Despite all the things that will try to break you down, break you apart. Love is a movement towards one another, despite the impermanence of this world. Love is saying that in this temporary life, you will choose to believe, choose to give one another your everything, choose to be one another’s, against all odds!

[idhruven]

I know you're watching from beyond to make sure we live every year we have to its fullest, and then we’ll have so much to talk about when we see you again… #ShaneriForever💛

#StayTuned #ComingSoon #FallingWater🦀

[idhruven]

THAT is whom your heart belongs to!

"You can ask the Universe for all the signs you want, but ultimately, we see what we want to see, when we’re ready to see it."

You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backward. The right people don’t make you ‘hmm’ and ‘haw’ about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right!

I wrote this to reassure you that good experiences are on their way. I wrote this to remind you to never give up on love. You might be suffering right now, but I guarantee you, in a few months, you will see exactly why things happened in the way they did. In the end, it is the person you want to talk to after each exhausting day, the one you complain to and share small jokes with, even though you are both too drained to laugh wholeheartedly, the one who listens as you go on and on about how life is treating you, the one who makes you smile and cheers you up when you are feeling low. It is the person who wishes you Good Morning, the one who calls you in the evening to see if you are okay, it is the first person who comes to your mind when something goes right or wrong. It is the person who understands your moods and deals with your anger, the one who knows that you are not perfect – but loves you anyway. The one whom you share everything with, the one whom you tell your fears to, whom you share your dreams with, the one who stands by you as you work hard towards all your goals. It is the person who respects you for who you are and does not try to change you in any way. Now, THAT is whom your heart belongs to!

The Universe will always fight for souls to be together – essentially if they are written and destined to be together, nothing can stop them from being apart. 🦀

[idhruven]

Cause a few hurricanes!

"You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my love for you. All efforts to save me from you will fail."

You see, when it’s love, every missing piece of yours will find its way back to you. This person will remind you of life. When she’s right in front of you, you’ll see hope in her eyes and the determination in her actions. She will accept all the mistakes you made and every failure you had. When it’s love, it doesn’t push you to hate yourself. It doesn’t make you scream to the world about you pain, because this person will always soothe your pain, when she’s the right one for you, all your heart will rest, you’ll find calmness every time you look at her. When someone is right for you, they don’t actually complete you. They inspire you to be whole, all by yourself. They encourage you to face everything that makes you feel scared. I know every relationship gets to a point of letting go, but when you’re with the right one, you’ll always have something to pull back. You may have a hundred reasons to leave but there will always be more reasons to stay, reasons that are always known to both of you. When its love, it doesn’t make you regret meeting this human. When someone is right for you, you’ll feel it in your heart, because they’ll be so gentle with your soul and that’s when you realize why it was always meant to be. But please do not give up. You need to stay. She needs to stay. And you both need to stay loudly. She might be afraid of making bad choices but the truth is this: the tiniest actions will influence the course of the rest of your life and you cannot control it. So many factors play a part in you being here today: a right swipe, an extra cup of Chai Latte, the number of seconds your parents took to say ‘Yes!’. This is chaos theory. Sensitivity. Mathematics. You are here. She is here. And every choice you both have made has led to right now. While you exist, every movement and moment matters; those bad choices led you to the best days of your life, if you were to play it all in rewind. So let it go. Change will come. Even if you’re standing still. Butterflies will keep flapping their wings and causing hurricanes. So, make your choices and make them loud. Trust your gut. Trust energy. And if you ceased to exist? Oh, the Universe would notice. The mess that would make. The hearts that would break. So just stay. Stay for bad choices. Stay for great ones. Cause a few hurricanes! 🦀

[idhruven]

Just because it’s what we’ve been told, doesn’t make it true

One of Frank Lloyd Wright’s many stunning accomplishments was his vision describing how he perceived cities and the architecture of buildings should look. The word he used to describe this vision was ‘Usonia’. It referred to his vision for the landscape of the country, including the planning of cities and the architecture of buildings.

"The Buehler House has been listed on the National Register of historic places by the United States Department of the Interior. The House was designed and built by ‘The World’s Greatest Architect of All Time!’ – Frank Lloyd Wright and awarded the ‘Most Beautiful Home in the World’ by the American Institute of Architects and the international association of architects and designers, quoted respectively."

Here you can see that there are many animal garden statues and sculptures spread across the land. We can see a lion, a dragon, a wolf and a huge standing Phoenix in between them. However, each statue is displayed not in its basic intrinsic form, in fact, it says that we are so much more than how we are seen and how our stories are told! Like sometimes the hero stumbles and falls right off the page. Sometimes the princess rolls her eyes and says, “I don’t want to be saved!” Sometimes the dragon needs rescuing and the villain aches to be helped. Sometimes the witch’s kindness shows it’s she who deserves to be queen. Just because it’s what we’ve been told doesn’t make it true. Also why would we need these sculptures in between such a modernist house? But again, nature, above all else, was Wright’s most inspirational force. He advised his students to study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you. He did not suggest copying nature, but instead allowing it to be an inspiration. And just standing there in awe, looking at these statues, starts today's conversation:

“Some nights, the wolf inside of me shrinks to nothing. He bares his teeth and runs away. The dragon in my chest rejects me, he’s so tired of being slain. There are nights when the lion cowers, says he can’t fight it another day….”

“What about the phoenix?”

“He sits with me in the darkness. He whispers: We’ll rise. Just you wait!”

🦀

[idhruven]

We tend to go far greater lengths to avoid what we fear, than to obtain what we desire!

I can tell you what I went through which is what set me on the journey to sharing the message of ‘The Why’ and helping people find theirs. A ‘Why’ is like a compass direction – it tells you where you’re going. We can live our lives by accident, which is kind of like getting on a ship and just sailing. Or getting in a car and just driving. You’ll absolutely see some amazing things. You’ll stumble upon some amazing experiences, but you don’t really have a sense of where you’re going – any sort of direction. In other words, what’s it all for? What ‘The Why’ does is it provides a path. It provides a map or a compass. So, you’ll still have some of those amazing experiences but now they have value and worth and they are taking you towards something else. It’s a journey towards something. When I learned my ‘Why’, I had this tremendous calm come over me. A sense of my confidence grew. A sense that my life had more meaning than I thought it had before and I had now the choice. A new way of viewing decisions. A filter through which to make decisions, which now I would ask myself – does this help advance my ‘Why’ or not? Does this help me stay on the path that I’m supposed to be or is this going to be a random adventure? So, ‘The Why’ provides focus, direction, meaning, and confidence. And no matter how perfect we aspire to be, and no matter how many things we promised ourselves we would do, sometimes all the things we wanted to achieve just can’t happen in one day, and that’s okay. It’s alright, whatever happens tomorrow, we’ve had today. That’s real life. So, whenever you have a bad day, just pick yourself right back up – chances are you achieved more than you thought you did. Chances are you’re just being hard on yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. Allow yourself to begin again. Please don’t let fear drive you. We tend to go far greater lengths to avoid what we fear than to obtain what we desire. You can’t mess up anything that is meant for you, so stop being so scared of what will happen. Trust your intuition and let your heart and soul guide you on this journey. I promise you; you cannot mess anything up that is meant for you! 🦀

[idhruven]

If you’re not willing to sound stupid, you don’t deserve to be in love!

To stand at this amazing patio and experience the ever-changing light of the day and the distant twinkling of San Francisco nights, to look down on the clouds and see eagles fly, awakens a profound appreciation for the unique relationship that this historic house has with the Bay Area. Parched on Panoramic Hill just above the UC Berkley campus, is a masterpiece of modernist architecture – Weston Havens House. Following a lineage of Frank Lloyd Wright, it transforms the American suburb into a place of culture. As an influential work of architectural significance, it has been compared to Falling Water.

To build such a modernist monumental architectural design in the early twentieth century must have required immense love and constant effort. The house strongly represents the grit and never-give-up attitude of Mr. Havens. To dream big, and although these dreams are not so easy to achieve, look what persistence can build. Many of us just give up so easily on our dreams, our love, our relationships, that when they are on the verge of manifestation, we give up! As they say – if she’s worth it, you won’t give up. The truth is that everybody is going to hurt you; you just got to find the ones worth suffering for! And no, she isn’t the easiest girl to love. She has this bad habit of overthinking, she tends to overact more than she should, and she gets a little insecure every once in a while. She’ll be needy for your attention, she’ll want to literally take up all your time, and she’ll require a lot of reassurance. If anything, she is everything you wouldn’t want in love. She isn’t capable of fully trusting you, she doesn’t know when to stop fighting with you when she’s right, and she has no problem pushing you away. Loving her will stress you out, loving her will make you angry, loving her will break your heart at times, loving her will test you, loving her will challenge you, and loving her will change you. It may get so demanding that you’ll be tempted to walk away, it may get so hard that you’ll think about giving up, and it may get so complicated that you won’t want to deal with her anymore. Loving her means you get to see her at her worst and most vulnerable and that is something that you’ll have to be strong enough to handle because she needs someone who’s patient enough to understand why she is who she is today! It’s not going to be an easy relationship with her. But if you are in love with her, then it’s a promise that you’ll be loved with such passion and intensity that you’ll forget what life felt like before she came along because she’ll always be there to put your heart back together after breaking it. Maybe she’s not the best at being loved, but she’s pretty amazing at loving! Weston Havens House is the strongest epitome of never giving up and no matter how much people may call you crazy and stupid, but in the end, all the struggle, the pain, the effort, and the unwavering faith, is totally worth it. Honestly, if you’re not willing to sound stupid, you don’t deserve to be in love! 🦀

[idhruven]

I'll see you down the road!

"When he shall die... Take him, and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine... That all the world will be in love with night, And pay no worship to the garish sun!"

I wish I had one more shot just to say I love you, say Thank You, say I respect you, tell you You’re a Fighter, meet you once again, hug you, but you know, I have a feeling, he’s watching. He’s listening. I know he’d be saying, “Save the tears, everyone!” What’s amazing to me now, that he is responsible for our family to come together, just a bit closer, because through a process like this… we’re now guaranteed to hold each other a bit tighter, we’re going to hug each other a bit harder, we’re going to say I love you more and we’re going to be a little bit more present. The family chanting, the prayers, the blessings, the SRK poses. Now his name is synonymous with the power of love and bringing people together. I wish your soul at rest and at ease. No more pain. No more regret. This isn’t goodbye, this is just... I’ll see you down the road. Breathe, my brother, breathe freely into those lungs today!

[idhruven]

Commas of Care!

"Nature is my manifestation of God. I go to nature every day for inspiration in the day’s work."

I was introduced to Frank Lloyd Wright very recently and the fondness and praise his admirers carry for him made me even more curious to go and personally visit some of his work. But from the moment I first turned the corner and saw the sprawling, reddish house up on the hillside, there was no doubt it could only have been designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. I, fortunately, had a chance to visit Hanna House. This is the first and best example of Wright’s innovative hexagonal design. It is Wright’s unprecedented design based on hexagonal geometry (honeycomb) produced by bees. Also, known as Hanna-Honeycomb House due to the hexagonal modules of its floor plan, the design creates a remarkable degree of spatial continuity and flexibility. The attention to detail is phenomenal. I’m sure it must have driven the crews absolutely nuts. Everything – including the inside furniture is hexagonal. There isn’t a ninety-degree rectangle anywhere in the house. But the beauty of the hexagonal geometry in a seemingly ungeometric structure is simple and breathtaking! The details in his work reminded me of the tiny little things that we do for each other in life and often go unnoticed. Making sure their lunch box, filled with fresh healthy fruits, is ready on the table before they leave for work. Buying the smartwatch raffle prize already, to make sure the lost office raffle doesn’t dishearten them. Hiding unhealthy chocolates and being concerned literally about their heart. Ordering a different flavored drink tea and making sure to order a safer familiar drink for them, to exchange later. For these little gifts, we don’t thank each other with words. They are commas of care… Commas of care! Punctuating our days with them is something long-term relationships learn, isn’t it? 🦀