idiotasu - Tumblr blog

idiotasu · 3 years

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Even if I talk about my emotions, it feels like the other person never really understands. I'm aware it's also my fault but it really is frustrating after all. (do ppl do this sorta thing on tumblr? Idk)

Anyway, I frequently feel this disconnect to other ppl and even when I explain my experience as it is, they seem to find it hard to believe. It's hard to believe that I feel a certain way. I get it. I also thought it was hard to believe that everyone experienced feelings so differently. Would it be better if I somehow managed to experience feelings like others do? Should I just go with what ppl believe I am instead of having to explain myself again and again? Acting out what ppl think I am feels like the easier choice and yet it weighs on me. I feel like I'm losing my sense of self when the only time I can be me is by myself.

Hahaha I did it. This is how ppl use tumblr to vent right? I don't actually know. I just posted quotes on here and reblogged things.

I think I'll go write or type down my thoughts somewhere else now. Then I'll delete it and go to sleep. Sleep won't fix my problems but it will give me a break from them.

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idiotasu · 3 years

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I feel like ppl take me too seriously when I'm joking. Wish it was easy to just blame the other person but I guess I am socially inept.

Haha woah I think I'm gonna start feeling bad about everything if I keep thinking about this.

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idiotasu · 5 years

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宮本：だって、スマイレージの和田彩花さんだって、本当にすごかったの、本当にぶっ飛んでて、あんなにカッコいい女性になるような素振りがなかった、そういうタイプの人じゃないと思ってたの佳林は。

稲場：ふわふわした可愛らしい方だったので。

宮本：なんかね、すっとぼけてたのよ、やばかったの。

稲場：天然さんな感じでしたよね。

宮本：めちゃくちゃ天然過ぎて、この方とは一生かかっても分かり合えないだろうなって思ってたのに、今となってはいろんなことを話せる、プライベートなことも話せるし、お仕事のこともお喋りするし、そういう間柄になって。あの時は幼かっただけなんだなって思って、その時から考えてたんだなって思うと、外に出てるものと、内に秘めてるものって違うなって思う。

Miyamoto Karin: Coz, Wada Ayaka-san of S/mileage used to be really terrific, really out-there. I never expected her to grow up to be such a cool lady. I thought her nature wasn’t for what she is today.

Inaba Manaka: Since she was fluffy and endearing person.

Miyamoto Karin: I’d rather say she was a bit goofy and crazy.

Inaba Manaka: Yeah, she looked like kind of innately goofy.

Miyamoto Karin: She was so innately goofy that I thought our lifetimes would not be long enough to become able to understand each other. But now, we can talk about various things such as our jobs and private lives. I never expected such relationship to be made between me and her. I think she was like that just because she was too young. I suppose, even in those days, she must have been as thoughtful as she is today. Her case tells us that you can’t tell someone’s quality only by seeing what’s displayed.

extracted from We are Juice=Juice #298, 9 July 2019

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idiotasu · 5 years

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Kasa wo sasu Senpai

I love Maro (Fukuda Kannon). For additional readings on Maro, please read any of her articles on Wota in Translation.

This is such a Maro-esque song. In fact, it evokes the types of feelings that fuel my love hate relationship with Maro. I’m always perplexed that such a selfish, broken, inconsiderate, conceited, narcissistic girl could engender me with this huge sense of moe feelings. I want to protect her, because I know the aforementioned character traits grew out of some trauma or unfulfillment in her younger life. I have a moe because I know under it all, she is just a normal girl that needs love and most of all at her age, acceptance. I find her physically attractive, I love her voice, and think she is such a great idol, but her self-loathing gets in the way of that sometimes. Her attention seeking behavior because of her self-loathing was unfortunate. Where her feelings of self-loathing come from, I may never know, and its none of my business, but since I like her, I think about it from time to time. Anyways Maro left Angerme and embarked on a journey to become a lyricist. She penned her graduation song, Watashi, and I have been paying close attention to the songs she wrote since then… because I’m a filthy wota and will support her as long as I can.

Anyways the lyrics seem like something straight out of a page of Maro’s life. I have made the English version of the lyrics gender neutral because in my mind I ship Maro and Ayacho. In my mind Ayacho is the one holding the umbrella… and Maro is crushed. Oh course, its not real, but let a man have his daydreams :)

Here is the english version of the lyrics. This is not a translation, its an English style interpretation of the Japanese Lrics.

Country Girls - Sempai’s Umbrella

Intro

Who is that girl that Sempai is holding the umbrella for?

Verse 1

My heart started beating so fast when I saw those two getting along so well Beating so fast that even my dummy of a Sempai could notice I bet Sempai told her she was cute when she was laughing at those jokes just like a little sister I bet that Sempai is telling her all sorts of things like that

Chorus 1

Who is that girl that Sempai is holding the umbrella for? I have lost that cute smile you praised me for Just like you did not notice my rain, you did not notice me quietly running away from this scene… I bet they did not notice me at all I’m such a useless girl

Verse 2

My chest got so tight when you greeted me the next day with no expression like nothing happened Despite the start of all these peculiar rain showers, my heart has not caught up with June’s rainy season My “rain rain go away” window charm is supposed to be constantly preventing these rainy days

Chorus 2

Why didn’t the blossom of my love close after Sempai closed that umbrella… I wonder what kind of girl was walking with Sempai? She has to be an amazing girl… Yea, I understand that, but understanding how amazing she must be makes my chest hurt And yet even so, I think its a little like me to be hurt… I’m such a useless girl

Chorus 3

Who is that girl that Sempai is holding the umbrella for? I have lost that cute smile you praised me for Just like you did not notice my rain, you did not notice me quietly running away from this scene… I bet they did not notice me at all I’m such a useless girl

The music is such a simple composition (it suits Maro’s simplistic writing style, simple is not bad imo), but it suits this song so well. Its generic H!P, but a bit more melancholy than regular idol music. I love melancholy, unrequited love, drama, all that crap, so naturally I love this song, lol.

I find the second chorus to have especially great song writing. Its different from the first and has the best line in my opinion. My favorite line in the whole song is its third line, it evokes such a sense of hopelessness. Its like recognizing that in the competition, there never was any competition to begin with. That sort of sad moment creates a BURNING moe inside of me, like Maro… its okay, great things await you in the future, its okay… its okay.

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idiotasu · 5 years

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I wanna watch this now

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idiotasu · 5 years

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idiotasu · 5 years

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idiotasu · 6 years

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Sorry for breaking that 420 notes thing you've got going.

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idiotasu · 6 years

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idiotasu · 6 years

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this tho

13th Gen is just adorable. Just look at the gap between their personalities and how they complement each other. I feel my heart go soft looking at this two interact.

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idiotasu · 6 years

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Morning Misoshiru Campfire Version

This. This look of pure love and joy on Duu’s face just warms my heart. I’ve rewatched the video about 50 times just for this one little MaaDuu bit. ALSO LOOK HOW FLUSTERED MAA IS AFTERWARDS <3