idoyun-blog

[idoyun-blog]

truth be told.

+ detail how your character really feels about their group’s musical direction.

                                                                                                       ( + 5 exp )

doyun doesn’t hate galaxy’s music.

he can deal with promoting their title tracks for weeks, can deal with singing different versions for the next month, can deal with making up lies about which song is his favorite and what makes him like it so much. it’s all part of the game and he highly doubts he’s the only idol who pretends so much.

after all, he doesn’t hate the music. but he doesn’t particularly like it, either, and sometimes he wonders if he hides it as well as he thinks he does.

there are times when he sits in airports, his head down and his earphones in and he listens to music. all kinds of music. he has an affinity for rock songs with heavy guitar riffs and acoustic ballads with strong vocals, though, so it’s no surprise that that’s what his go-to playlist mainly consists of. there are various artists, ranging from one ok rock and shinedown to ed sheeran and zayn malik, but there aren’t many songs by idol groups; maybe a handful sprinkled throughout, but even then, he usually skips over them when they play.

it’s nothing against idols. if he didn’t like idol music, he wouldn’t have become an idol, but there’s always something not entirely genuine about it. even the most honest of songs are never quite blunt. slip a secret message into a verse and that’s as honest as it gets, usually, and that’s what doyun doesn’t like. music should be a way to express yourself, a passion, but how can that passion be poured into something meant to be cute, cheesy and predictable? it hardly can. idol music is fun and all, but most songs are only good to listen to when everything is happy and peachy. and life is hardly ever happy. or peachy.

he likes being in the studio, if that counts for anything. he enjoys learning new dances with his members and recording for comebacks. not to mention that in his eyes, there’s nothing better than standing on stage, singing a new song, and seeing fans’ faces light up. that’s what keeps him hooked, keeps him loving galaxy and the music they make even when he feels like he’ll go crazy if he has to sing a childish love song one more time.

there’s a thin line that separates passion and hatred, and when it comes to music, it’s a line that doyun walks more often than not. for as long as he can remember, he’s loved music. it filled a void within him that nothing else could and for that, he thinks he’ll always be grateful. but he wishes with all of his heart that he could be more honest with the art that he creates. he wishes that galaxy’s lyrics were a little less, “i adore you enough to get dizzy,” and a little more, “it’s okay to make mistakes.” something that would be more soothing to the listeners, encouraging healing. but galaxy’s fans always seem to find strength in their music, and so he never voices his complaints. if constellations like their sound, then doyun will try to like it, as well.

[idoyun-blog]

❤ 🗨️ ➢ 

41,627 likes

93_yuniverse it’s been a while since i’ve posted on here, right? i’m doing well, i hope all of you are as well. let’s talk soon.

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[idoyun-blog]

idyoojung:

( . . . )

here in the dead of the night, yoojung finds herself ripped open at the seams. unmasked, untidy, and unaware. caught up in weathering her own storm, she forgets she’s not alone in her quiet little corner. forgets to pull on the skin of her unbreakable facade. forgets to look both ways.

(had she been more alert, she might’ve seen him coming–an unwitting voyeur in the shape of a boy.)

there’s a parasite that resides within the heart of hwang doyun.

it had latched on when he was much younger and vulnerable, but it only grew into something much more powerful when he became part of an industry that demanded so many things from him that he couldn’t give. it ate away day and night until it was all he felt, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. he had named the parasite loneliness.

and now he tries desperately to fill the void it’s created with miles.

maybe if he drives far enough, fast enough, he can outrun it. or maybe he’ll see enough beautiful sights that he’ll be reminded that there’s more to life than the darkness he’s living in, more than the emptiness he feels. but he can only drive so far before he’s going in circles and no matter how beautiful something looks at first, it’s never quite as appealing when you see it for the tenth, eleventh time and the flaws come to the surface.

so he finds himself at the han river more often than not, and it’s usually late at night, when he doesn’t have a manager on his tail or group members to worry about. when he had first started going, it was a healing experience for him. he could sit in silence, listen to the wind, watch the river... he always left with a sense of belonging, but these days, it doesn’t do much for him. maybe he had sucked all the comfort that he could get out of it. but he still goes, because it’s become a habit and old habits die hard.

he’s not the only one at the han river tonight and he knows that, but he figures that anyone else in such a place so late at night would want to be left alone just as much as he does. and yet, he can’t bring himself to ignore it when the sound of a broken sob interrupts the silence he had chased so diligently. he isn’t angry. he isn’t annoyed. if anything, he feels a pang of sympathy because that sob sounds an awful lot like how loneliness feels.

and so he stands up, and he moves. he goes to the source of the sadness before he even knows what he’s doing, a decision that he hardly thinks is a good one but what else is he to do? stay back and listen? he sits near the girl, close enough to show that he’s trying to offer companionship and far enough that she doesn’t feel threatened. “it’s okay to cry, you know,” he tells her, his voice just loud enough to be heard.

post-midnight blues.

[idoyun-blog]

painting flowers.

@idyujin

( setting: ihwa mural village. )

it wasn’t uncommon for doyun to take little trips in between schedules, driving outside of the city limits to escape the chaos that accompanied the lifestyle of an idol. in fact, ever since he had gotten his license a few years back, it was as if everyone had to play a sort of guessing game with him—would he be easy to reach, or would he be off the grid somewhere, ignoring every notification from his phone? usually, it was the latter. and usually, he was alone. after all, that was the whole point; to have a little bit of alone time. to escape the noise, the unrealistic expectations, the plastic smiles and sickeningly sweet greetings. but this time, he didn’t think it would be too bad to invite someone along for the ride. yujin was his first choice. she was someone that he wanted to get to know better, someone that had seemingly occupied his mind since the first time they spoke.

he could hardly believe that she had actually agreed, though. even after the drive to the area with her in the passenger seat, it felt surreal. even NOW, walking up a stairway to get to the village, a nikon camera in his hands and yujin beside him, he had a feeling that at any moment, he would open his eyes and wake up. but no matter how hard he blinked, no matter how many times he told himself it wasn’t real, the image never faded. and finally, he decided that he should probably talk to her instead of walking in silence. “so, uh... i’ve actually been here a few times,” he began, sparing a quick glance at the jawbreaker member before looking ahead again. “this stairway used to be painted with koi fish. it was really pretty. but the residents painted it over because of noisy tourists... it’s alright, though. there’s actually been new additions to the artwork in the village since then. projects by college students... it’s really nice. i think you’ll like it.”

he fidgeted with the camera in his hands, trying to give himself something to focus on other than the racing of his heart. it was something he hadn’t felt in a while, something that he’d much rather ignore than think about. “anyway, it’s usually pretty calm... a stark contrast from the city, really. especially considering that it’s still in seoul. the view is pretty, too. especially once it gets darker. the lights of the city are really beautiful. probably the closest thing to stars you can see in seoul without squinting so hard you rupture a blood vessel in your eye,” he rambled, exaggerating just enough to make it obvious that he was trying to be funny. it was a way to make conversation, anyway, even if yujin didn’t care.

[idoyun-blog]

idsejun:

. . .

it shouldn’t surprise him, but it does; that the time they spend together is equally as important doyun as it is to sejun. the words warm him from the inside out, bleeding into his memory and taking up space in that soft spot of his chest cavity saved for those that enter his life and end up meaning more to him than he ever anticipated. he fights down the urge to smile and instead takes another sip of his drink, shifting slightly in his seat. “i know the feeling,” he murmurs, thoughts racing back to the days spent in the practice studio, wandering hallways of buildings between schedules, catching catnaps in the back of a tinted van. “it’s really to just be able to sit down and spend time with you. honestly, it just feels like my life has been nothing but schedule after schedule lately with this comeback. i’ve really missed seeing you.” the frustrations from the past few weeks lurk there, the worries and stress embedded in every thought, the urge to explode into a barrage of words and sentences pinned together is there. but sejun doesn’t want to overwhelm doyun for as much as these times are precious to him, it also worries him that his burdens would be too heavy for anyone else to carry as well. 

doyun was usually tense and alert, always ready for something to go wrong. it wasn't uncommon for him to feel various aches and pains, all credited to nothing but the never-ending stress he felt. perhaps that was just part of being an idol, a part that he had looked over in the fine print. after all, it is easy to miss the tears in the wrapping paper when there's a pretty bow on top, right? somehow, though, the rich scent of coffee and sugar in the cafe was enough to put him at ease. or maybe it was sejun's presence. either way, he felt a lot more relaxed than he usually did.

"i've really missed seeing you." the five words from sejun were enough to bring a smile to doyun's face, enough to brighten his eyes a little bit. just enough to be noticeable. it was no secret that he was a sad individual—to his friends, at least. what he hid from fans always came out around those he trusted the most. all of his insecurities, his melancholy, his regrets, his sense of longing. sometimes, all he really needed was to be reminded that the people around him did care for him, and those words were enough to remind doyun that even when they didn't communicate for weeks, sejun would always be someone that he could rely on. it was a good feeling, really, to be able to put that much faith in someone. 

"i missed you, too... it looks like you're holding back, though," doyun observed, his voice soft—only meant to be heard by sejun, but his voice probably wouldn't carry anyway. not with the clicking of laptop keys pressed by students searching for a quiet place to study, the sizzling of hot water and coffee being poured into cups, the steady murmur of whispers and the clinking of silverware against glasses and plates. all small, insignificant sounds, but they added up to create the unique soundtrack of the coffee shop. just enough to keep soft conversations kept private without drowning them out.

"is there something else you want to say?" he finally asked, raising his cup to his lips to take another sip of his drink. his gaze was still steady on sejun, trying to read between the lines. doyun had always been like that, really; the kind of person who wanted to know others inside and out, wanted to know the parts of them that they kept hidden. whether it was good or bad, he wanted to know it all because somehow, being one of the people to know someone the best made him feel significant.

the warmth.

[idoyun-blog]

eclipse

ECLIPSE: "what’s a song by another group that you wish you’d put out instead?"

doyun stayed silent for a moment after hearing the question, just giving a quiet little hum to show that he was thinking about his answer. it had never been something that crossed his mind, really — of course he listened to other groups’ songs and thought they were good sometimes, but he never felt any desire to have been the one to release the song. he was more of a casual listener in that way, and never had a song stuck in his head more than just enough to have him humming the melody. however, he decided to humor the interviewer with an answer, anyway; after all, that was why he had been asked to do the interview.

“when i was still a trainee, imperial released before the dawn. i remember thinking that it was so cool and CATCHY, something a little different among the bubbly trend at that time. i wish that had been MY debut song,” he offered a polite smile when he finished speaking, but he wasn’t done. not yet, anyway, he still had more to add. he wanted to give good answers, and he knew that the first song he had said was a little... old.

“but, i like tell me, too. also by imperial. something about it just... ENTRANCES me, y’know? i think i would’ve been happy if that song had been signal’s to release, but maybe we wouldn’t have been able to do it as well as imperial did. regardless, i’m still a little greedy, y’know —  i wish it was mine.” he ended his answer with a chuckle to show that the later part of his answer had been a joke, just something to liven the mood.

[idoyun-blog]

MAGAZINE INTERVIEW MEME.

Welcome to our first meme! To participate please reblog to this post! Try to send out a question to everyone, especially if they send one to you! Under the cut are the interview questions your muse can receive. Note: these are for a public magazine. Likely, your muse’s answers will align with their stage persona, at least to an extent. While aspects of who they really are may certainly leak in, we’d like you to keep in mind that they’re still held to the same idol-standards and image their company expects from them. While answering you may include more than dialogue if you wish. You can detail how your character is responding to the interviewer, their mannerisms, what’s going through their head versus what they’re actually saying, etc. Think of it as a way to expand on the (possible) duality of your character. Everyone is able to answer, including trainees – think of it as a sneak preview interview before the onset of Produce Project.

For every response to a meme questions that is 250+ words, you’re eligible to add +2 EXP to your points page!

Keep reading

[idoyun-blog]

the warmth.

@idsejun​

signal had been busy with promotions — world tour turned into comeback preparation, barely any time to blink before they were being pushed into the new activity, but doyun hardly minded. in fact, he liked having a busy schedule; it gave him less time to lie around and wallow in his sorrow. less time to think about how REAL and difficult the last few months had been for him. the last year had been for him. but, he couldn’t lie - he liked seeing his friends. it made him feel a little less lonely and a little more human.

of course it would’ve been sejun that he thought to approach first. the younger boy had become something like a confidant to doyun, a safety zone for when things got difficult. now he sat in a quaint coffee shop in an isolated corner of buam-dong with an iced vanilla latte in his hands and sejun across from him. “thank you for agreeing to meet me,” doyun murmured, a little half-smile tugging at the corners of his lips. usually, he only contacted sejun when he needed to vent or vice-versa, but this time he didn’t have much to talk about and he wasn’t sure that sejun did, either. he just wanted company and over the time that they had known each other, doyun had decided that there’s hardly any company BETTER than sejun.

“i’m going to tell you the truth,” doyun began, propping his elbow up on the table and resting his cheek against his knuckles, “i don’t have much to complain about today. i was just... lonely. you know how it gets. too much free time, too much time to think. sucks to think sometimes. but if there’s anything you want to talk about, i’m all ears. you know i am.” and then he raised his cup to his lips with his free hand and took a sip of his vanilla latte.

[idoyun-blog]

idyerin:

“guess i’ll just have to stay up with you.” said with a finality that leaves no room for questions. “tell me what else you’ve been thinking about tonight.”

doyun didn't dare to argue with yerin — he had spent far too many late nights on his own in the past and he knew the struggle that came with battling his thoughts while everyone else was fast asleep. he'd much rather have yerin's company, although he'd feel like a bad friend later for letting her stay up without even suggesting that she should get some sleep. he always did.

however, it did take him some time before he started talking. the whole reason he hadn't been able to sleep well was because his mind was working overtime, filling his head with all kinds of thoughts that beat against the sides of his skull, threatening to burst out at any given moment. it was chaotic and loud, a place that was part of him but a place which he wished he could escape. finally, he got the energy to speak.

"i've been thinking about a lot of things," he began, a heavy sigh slipping past his lips before he could even continue. "i've been thinking that i'm tired. really tired. even when i sleep, i'm still tired. i don't like the music signal is making, it's dumb. i almost wish i'd break my leg or something so i could take some time off. i've been thinking that the days last too long and the nights not long enough. those are the most basic things. let's get into the deeper things later."

a few seconds of silence followed, but it was hardly uncomfortable. "what about you? i want to know what goes on in your head these days. i feel like there could be some interesting things happening in there."

better in the afterglow.

[idoyun-blog]

nowhere fast.

@idhanab​

it wasn’t unheard of for hwang doyun to get a little distracted from time to time.

it was the first time he had went outside by pure choice in a while, but as soon as he had actually walked out into the sunburn-threatening weather, he almost regretted it. no, he definitely regretted it. in fact, he debated on doing an about-face and walking right back inside, into the safety of the air-conditioning. not only was it more comfortable, but he knew that he wasn’t REALLY supposed to be wandering outside, anyway, especially when signal had comeback preparations going on...

but who was he to listen to what he was supposed to do? really? maybe that was part of the reason that he didn’t go back inside and just strolled into the open, a black mask covering the lower half of his face. he didn’t know where he was going, but he had learned that the best discoveries can be made when they aren’t planned out in advance.

worn-out sneakers beat steadily against the pavement as he walked, his hands kept in the pockets of his adidas joggers — for someone considered to be an idol, he was blending in surprisingly well with the youth of seoul; but he did doubt his own popularity from time to time so he couldn’t say he was entirely thrown off.

it wasn’t until he was on the subway that he felt any temptation to interact with the people around him.

he was sitting beside a girl that he vaguely thought he recognized from somewhere and he wasn’t USUALLY the kind of person to snoop, but he could hardly ignore the fact that she was watching videos of a dog on her phone. he had named himself the resident dog enthusiast of signal and he found himself watching the videos with her, the corners of his lips pulling into a grin that remained hidden by his mask — the crinkles beside his eyes were the only hint that he was happy.

he watched the videos with her silently, trying his best to be nonchalant about it and probably failing; and then a thought crossed his mind. what if he was creeping her out? no, no, no, he didn’t want to cause any misunderstandings! he pulled his mask down just enough to mumble, “that’s a cute dog,” and then let it snap back into place.

[idoyun-blog]

I sit before flowers hoping they will train me in the art of opening up I stand on mountain tops believing that avalanches will teach me to let go I know nothing but I am here to learn.

Shane Koyczan (via lazypacific)

[idoyun-blog]

Ooon ~ Halo ~O.M.G behind the scenes pt.1 ~ 180516 

[idoyun-blog]

same

[idoyun-blog]

THORNAPPLE (쏜애플) - 서울 (Seoul) 

[idoyun-blog]

all that glitters is not gold.

+ detail the one time you wanted to quit.

                                                  ( + 5 exp )

all that glitters is not gold.

years cooped up in a dormitory, the pungent smell of sweat waiting at every corner and muscle aches from hell with nothing to show. it’s easy for a young adult to feel hopeless in that kind of situation, and when the time to debut arrives? well, there’s nothing more bittersweet. finally, everything you’ve dreamt of is awaiting you. . . but, you’re stepping away from the familiar and into the unknown. who’s to say what awaits you?

                           ( warning: it’s not always good. )

at first, it’s exhilarating. being ushered off the stage and into the car just to be drove to the next venue, fans telling you how much they adore you, articles about how much potential the group has and variety show after variety show after variety show after variety. . .

             but when do you sleep?

                           when do you eat?

                                          when do you relax?

the initial excitement runs out when energy starts to run low. restlessness is replaced with irritability and exhaustion. the stages lose their charm and instead of a sea of lights, the crowd turns into a blur as you try desperately to keep your eyes open just until you get off the stage. . . just a little longer now, just a little longer. . .

you can only take so much of a lifestyle like that until you start to lose yourself in all the bright lights. at least, that was the case for doyun. following the release of baby i’m sorry in 2013, he began to feel an all-consuming sense of despair and hopelessness. he had no desire to perform, no desire to see his family, no desire to talk to his members, no desire to even wake up in the mornings. it was during that time that he had the first thought the maybe, MAYBE. . . this wasn’t the life for him. maybe he had made a mistake.

to this day, he can remember going back home for the first time since he had debuted. a vacation that he didn’t necessarily want, but he knew he needed. he can remember sobbing into his mother’s shoulder, clinging onto her as if he was a little boy again — the first time that he ever cried in front of her. “i can’t do this anymore,” he had told her, and it broke his heart to hear himself say those words. a dream that he had worked so tirelessly towards, something that had made him feel so free had become a cage around his heart.

but his mother, who had seen him give his all and succeed in such a beautiful way, refused to see him throw his effort away, and she gave him a piece of advice that would continue to stick with him. “in anything you do, you will face a hardship — call it a fork in the road. do you really want this, or will you go a different route? work through this hardship and the future will be easier.” it wasn’t the best advice, nor the most accurate. . . but it encouraged him to keep going and work through his inner turmoil rather than run from it.

               he was so close to giving up.

                                he was so close to throwing it all away.

to this day, that slump remains a secret to all but those closest to him. ask, and he’ll just smile. “i’ve never wanted to give up,” he’ll say, and you’ll almost believe it.

[idoyun-blog]

daylily.

@idxrmn​

doyun wasn’t GENERALLY the type to pester his friends — he knew that the life of an idol was a busy and exhausting one, and it could sometimes be made worse with constant pestering. at times, even a close friend could seem like a pesky fly that just won’t leave. . . BUT, he also knew that some of his friends overworked themselves, stayed cooped up far too much for it to be healthy; roman, in particular. and, well, it just didn’t sit right with him knowing that his friend probably hadn’t seen the sunlight in days.

what kind of friend would he be if he didn’t pay a little visit?

those were the thoughts that led doyun up to this point, standing in the doorway of the studio with his arms crossed over his chest. “c’mon, dude. it reeks of BOREDOM in here. don’t you want to get some fresh air?” he asked, his gaze falling upon roman. it was only SLIGHTLY judgmental. “it’s a beautiful day. the sky is blue rather than grey, the rain is all gone. . . do you even know that it’s been raining? bet you haven’t been outside since the last snow, huh?” at this point, he was clearly exaggerating, but with a goal — mainly, to express how long it had been since he had seen roman and try to coax him into leaving the studio for at least a little while.

“get outside. it’s a great day to photosynthesize.”

[idoyun-blog]

©SWEET ooON