iffnotwinter

[iffnotwinter]

Tweet by Heather Hogan:

Straight friend: Will you sensitivity read my book for my lesbian best friend character?

Me, two weeks later: The lesbian best friend is absolutely perfect. Here's 16 pages of notes detailing the incorrect things you said about Star Trek.

5:32 PM on 2/25/24

[iffnotwinter]

😭😭😭😭

[iffnotwinter]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[iffnotwinter]

Want to draw my favorite deltarune post

[iffnotwinter]

The sheer quantity and scale of unspeakable acts I would partake in to make a remaster of Deep Space 9 and Voyager happen...

[iffnotwinter]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[iffnotwinter]

Confession, I’ve never really minded these characters! One is mid, sure, but fairly okay. The other two I like heaps more, with one caveat.

However, I’m curious to know who you found least likeable at the start of the show, pre-character development? Or maybe you never warmed to them and think the show dropped the ball with their plot lines/characters and the show could never salvage them, no matter what it tried. Your mind made up, this is the worst character out of the three!

[iffnotwinter]

The friends that are chronically 30 minutes late are so important to have because they teach u patience and the meaning of loving someone so much u let ur anger go. I have not mastered either yet but I’m sure it’s coming

[iffnotwinter]

gul dukat's fetishization of bajoran women and constant sexual harassment of kira has to be one of the smartest and realest but also most disturbing plot elements in all of ds9

[iffnotwinter]

I wish these people were oppressed

[iffnotwinter]

Deep space nine is so cool because we have silly quirky characters and then also the war

[iffnotwinter]

Iceland is fucking bizarre my name change made the news

[iffnotwinter]

“I want to see the world… But I cannot move”

Reblog the snowman to show him the world.

[iffnotwinter]

99% of repressors give up right before they successfully don't feel anything. Don't stop shoving it down. You can get through this unscathed

[iffnotwinter]

everyone knows that space is very very cold, and the sun is very very hot. so i assume there's a bit of space kind of near the sun which is just right. balmy space

[iffnotwinter]

chappy 3 is good and im like an hour in