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Cats getting caught doing crimes

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there's a fine line between being wary of manipulation and becoming completely paranoid because you get very close to the realisation that pretty much all human interaction involves doing things we hope will lead to a result we like

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There's something so hetero poisoned about the way people think of bdsm like when they aren't actively in Gay Kink Community & are just Posting. Some of you are still equating dominance -> penetration -> masculinity & you think doms aren't people with emotional needs & it's all soooo... what are we doing here. Certainly not having sex, I hope. Your booktok daddy dom doesn't exist you're gonna get a weird faggot with complexes and you need to cherish them

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why is emoji kitchen so funny for no reason this one was so surprising it made me laugh out loud

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Alt makeup and alt application methods

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brain: slartibartfast

me: huh?

brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?

me: yeah, what about it?

brain: yeah

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texas is funny. this one time a guy(in his truck) yelled at me(outside)(in summer) for wearing a cowboy hat(to provide shade)(while working)(in the sun) while i was working in the garden (in summer)(in texas)(on a sunny day)

sorry i’m a #FakeCowboy for wearing a cowboy hat(in the summer)(in the sun)(while working)(in a garden) instead of wearing my cowboy hat(meant for working)(in the sun) while driving a truck(air-conditioned) like a #RealCowboy who does Manly Work (with his truck)(spotless)(unblemished)(with AC)

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kuma bonney doodle ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠`⁠ʔ

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I’ve fallen down the Humans Are Space Orcs rabbit hole and I just can’t get over the idea of aliens freaking out over a fever

Alien: what do you mean your body is raising its temperature to a lethal degree to kill the virus attacking you? and it doesn’t kill you too?

Human: well no, we can sustain higher temperatures than bacteria, it’s more of an inconvenience to us you know? well unless, um

Alien: Unless what??

Human: well sometimes our body continues to keep raising the temperature for too long and it makes our vital organs fail… if you think about it it’s still killing the virus by the end so it is efficient!

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i used windows+arrow keys the other day to pull up two documents side-by-side and my boss looked a me like i was a space alien

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My favorite thing about the Cottingley Fairies hoax is that the kid barely gives a fuck.