ifiwereafish

[ifiwereafish]

[ifiwereafish]

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

[ifiwereafish]

Russia started a war that’s killed over a million people. Russian diplomats aren’t murdered. China runs concentration camps. Chinese diplomats aren’t targeted. Iran funds terrorism across the globe. Iranian diplomats aren’t gunned down. Turkey bombs civilians and jails dissidents. Turkish diplomats aren’t hunted. Sudan is collapsing in genocide and famine. Sudanese diplomats aren’t executed. Pakistan harbors terrorists and persecutes minorities. Pakistani diplomats aren’t ambushed. Syria used chemical weapons on its own people. Syrian diplomats aren’t shot outside museums. North Korea starves its citizens and threatens nuclear war. North Korean diplomats aren’t attacked. The list is endless. But out of all these countries, only Israel provokes such obsessive hatred that someone would throw away their entire life just to murder two innocent Israelis in their 20s. Today is a terribly sad day. May their memories be a blessing.

Yehuda Teitelbaum

@chalavyishmael

[ifiwereafish]

Happy Pride to all my lgbtq Jews. Especially the ones who like me lost formally beloved queer spaces and your sense of queer community has been irrevocably damaged in the wake of horrific antisemtism. I’m here, I see you, and I love you.

I will never feel safe at a goyische pride event ever again. And I will never attend one again. I will only attend pride events held by other queer Jews.

[ifiwereafish]

oh you think your life is hard? try being a gay rat living in france who hates your dad and just wants to cook

[ifiwereafish]

Link to the gay porn library of Alexandria.

Happy pride.

[ifiwereafish]

did i do it? did i do the meme right?

[ifiwereafish]

I have no tolerance for gentiles who act like they're chill with Jewish people, just not THOSE ones...

Whatever kind of Jew you have a problem with*, that's the kind of Jew I am for the rest of the conversation.

*with the exception of actual crazies like Neturei Karta, Lev Tahor, Kahanists, Messianics, etc.

You start talking about your problems with "Ultra Orthodox" Jews? I'm feeling frummer by the second. I can't hear your opinions over this nigun. Just for that we're saying the WHOLE service, we're singing ALL the verses. We're about to argue halacha on a level you've never imagined.

You don't like Israelis? You think Jews making Aliyah is colonization? Lehit mami, I'm on my way to the Nefesh b'Nefesh office. See you next year in Jerusalem. Don't forget the sunblock.

You don't like atheist Jews who insist on keeping their culture and not assimilating? I'm reading Scholem and Spinoza and Sacks on the metro. I'm lighting candles and making havdalah. I'm rooting myself in the Hebrew literary tradition stretching back millenia. I'm ignoring your secular Christian holidays because mine are older, better, and mine.

You're fine with Jews, but not with Zionists? I'm painting a giant blue magen David on my chest. I'm hanging the Israeli flag on my balcony. I'm blasting Shedemati and Adama Admati and Mi Yivne Bayit on my boom box.

You don't like Ashkenazim? I'm making an extra big batch of gefilte fish. I'm putting raisins in the fucking kugel. I'm using Yiddish plurals in English and Hebrew alike. No tav is safe from becoming a tas.

I could go on and on. You don't like diaspora Jews? You don't like Reform Jews? You don't like vocal opinionated Jews? I could do this ALL DAY. Whatever kind of Jew you don't like, I am about to be that very Jew.

We are one family and one people. I'm not interested in allies who want to draw a line somewhere through our community, no matter where that line is or why you're trying to draw it.

[ifiwereafish]

tag yourself i'm half of these

the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"

[ifiwereafish]

In the club

[ifiwereafish]

getting a note on a super old post

[ifiwereafish]

camouflage bite the hands of unsuspecting humans with mama

baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

[ifiwereafish]

hey @faggot-friday. hey buddy. it's may 21st

YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

[ifiwereafish]

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

[ifiwereafish]

Public outcry make a difference.

Boycotting makes a difference.

We can make a difference.

[ifiwereafish]

I hate that thing some people do where it's like. "I left my wallet on the table to see if you'd say anything" or "I wanted to see if you'd wash the car if I stopped doing it"

Cause like

I dont know about anyone else

But I am perpetually hovering three inches above the strong subconscious belief that everyone knows what they're doing at all times except me, so if you change your normal patterns and I notice, then I will assume it is an intentional choice with a thought-out plan behind it and I will avoid interfering

And if I don't notice, because I won't, because why would I, because not much bothers me and if you don't say anything to indicate you are bothered then how would I KNOW