ifshefindsthisidie - Tumblr blog

[ifshefindsthisidie]

[ifshefindsthisidie]

pretending I don’t miss u is not working anymore

[ifshefindsthisidie]

Im back in this loop of missing you and feeling like you don’t even think about me anymore

[ifshefindsthisidie]

I keep looking for you in other people.

[ifshefindsthisidie]

[ifshefindsthisidie]

Te amo a distancia y te amo en papel

[ifshefindsthisidie]

I was thinking that sometimes I rely on the victim role and kinda paint you as if you were some kind of villain. The truth is that you are not. You are just you. I love you. I don’t ever want you to think that you are the source of all my problems and afflictions. You are not. It would be easy to give you all the responsibility but it wouldn’t be fair to you. Or me. I need to own my shit and realize that the person that hurts me the most is me :)

[ifshefindsthisidie]

Tonight’s mood: really wanting to cuddle

[ifshefindsthisidie]

So I dreamt we were at a party and your boy was there and oh shit. I got mad. And started confronting him. And I went into a rant of saying everything I thought about for the past year and a half and it felt really good to just lay out everything and kinda yell at him just so he understands what the fuck I thought. And he was speechless and trying to cut me off by trying to explain things but I wasn’t going to let him. So I just said my piece and stormed off the building and then I woke up. It felt good but also weird because I’m not the type of person to yell. But I guess I’m feeling kinda relieved and it almost feels like I actually told him all those things. I’m not going to confront him in real life tho. I don’t see the point in doing that. He’s not a good listener and frankly, I’m not looking to get him to be my friend again. I said goodbye a long time ago.

[ifshefindsthisidie]

let’s go on a date and by date I mean lay in bed and make out for 3 hours

[ifshefindsthisidie]

I wanna go to the beach with you.

Stay in bed late and watch movies with you.

Order room service and eat with you.

Cuddle and then have sex with you.

I wanna wake up next to you.

I want my life to feel like a dream, just with you.

[ifshefindsthisidie]

I just woke up and I guess my brain is trying to tell me all the things I refuse to accept. Maybe I’m not good anymore. Maybe he’s perfect. Maybe he’s not but he’s giving you what you want. Maybe you realized I’m not the person you thought of me.

I just need to know. I just need to know if it’s time to let go.

[ifshefindsthisidie]

Siento que me aferro a la nada

[ifshefindsthisidie]

I’m tired of guessing

Just be honest with me

[ifshefindsthisidie]

Every time I get an insta notification I hope it’s you. And every time I get disappointed. You’ve stopped talking to me again.

[ifshefindsthisidie]

Everything I ever did was just another way to scream your name

[ifshefindsthisidie]

I saw this and I’m surprised that I CANT relate to it. Because being vulnerable with you comes naturally to me. I think you are the person I am most vulnerable with. I feel like you can see through my eyes and understand me. Sometimes that can be scary. Sometimes that can allow you to hurt me. Most times, it is a blessing. Because to have at least one person that fully knows me makes me feel less lonely. Less caught up and trapped in my thoughts.