ihatebird

[ihatebird]

Nevermind, we good. I was sent the official job offer last night. I LOVE FRAMES LETS GOOOOO

I AM SO FUCKING ANXIOUS AHHHHHHH 

Today I did an 8 hour paid trial for a framing job I’m very overqualified for. It would be a VERY cool job, and I think I did really well today BUT I CAN’T GET OUT OF MY HEAD ABOUT IT FUCK. They still have other people doing trials and I won’t find out until Friday. So now i am hyper-fixating on everything I did and said today. One of the last things I said to my possible future framing manger is “Sometimes my parents and I like to go to Washington Square Park at night to look at the rats. Okay! Hope to see you again next week!” 

[ihatebird]

I AM SO FUCKING ANXIOUS AHHHHHHH 

Today I did an 8 hour paid trial for a framing job I’m very overqualified for. It would be a VERY cool job, and I think I did really well today BUT I CAN’T GET OUT OF MY HEAD ABOUT IT FUCK. They still have other people doing trials and I won’t find out until Friday. So now i am hyper-fixating on everything I did and said today. One of the last things I said to my possible future framing manger is “Sometimes my parents and I like to go to Washington Square Park at night to look at the rats. Okay! Hope to see you again next week!” 

[ihatebird]

My life is a joke. Last month I was bitching on here about social media after barely using it for two years, now I'm playing bread tag everyday on Instagram with one of my favorite art supply brands. I'm still washing off the hot dog stink from my hot dog phase a few years ago. People still send me hot dog memes and tell me "this made me think of you". Now everyone is gonna associate me with bread forever :/

[ihatebird]

When I was in 7th grade I was worried I would run out of weird ideas one day

[ihatebird]

It's 4am and there's some shit I gotta know:

How do I ever expect to make a living as an artist if I keep getting too emotionally attached to my breads to sell them? My breads are my friends, how am I supposed to sell my friends? How do you put a price on a friend? But really though, how the fuck do I price my art? Can I charge more for the ones I'm emotionally attached to? How much extra do I charge for an emotional damage fee? What the fuck is this art show I'm participating in tomorrow? Is the money really going towards ending child trafficking? Am I going to cry on stage again? Why did I agree to do this? Is someone gonna try to get me to find Jesus? Are the cookie flavors I want still gonna be in stock after the show? Are my arms going to break off from bringing all the breads into Manhattan? How am I supposed to play Pokemon Go and carry everything at the same time? FUCK WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR? Why did I have to tell my parents about this show? Is it too late to back out? Am I going to be the tallest person there? How bad do I smell? How long will my sense of smell be fucked up to not know how I smell? How bad will it look if I reuse my old business cards and write in my new information? Does olive garden still have unlimited soup? Does my boyfriend even love me if he's never taken me to olive garden? Does my cat know she is my reason for living? Should i start posting my art on Tumblr?

[ihatebird]

I always joked that if I lived past 27, it would mean I was worth nothing as an artist. It’s not that I actually idealized joining the 27 club, I just didn’t think I would make it past 18, let alone making it to 29. This time last year, I spent the week of my 28th birthday framing 79 original Basquiat pieces that hadn’t yet been seen by the public. I find that pretty fucking ironic considering Jean-Michel Basquiat died at 27. 

[ihatebird]

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED. After almost three years of wearing masks and avoiding people, I think I finally got the covid. My bf tested positive on a home rapid test today, still waiting on his PCR results. If he has it, then I definitely have it. I guess I won't be able to freak out my family at my grandpa's birthday party this weekend after all :(

[ihatebird]

I'm going to the JERSEY SHORE to attend my grandpa's 75th birthday party next weekend. I am strange and estranged, having only seen this side of the family twice in over ten years. Here is my list of the unhinged shit I wanna do for this party that my dad said no to:

-dress like a mime

-give my grandpa 75 pieces of painted bread as a gift (my dad said to only give him one and frame it nicely)

-say "yeast" instead of saying "yes"

-take an ungodly amount of shrooms on the drive there

-wear a huge fake diamond ring and try to upstage my cousin's recent engagement

-casually wear bloody resin tampons as jewelry

-head to toe yellow outfit

-only talk through a hand puppet

-wear stilts and long pants (I'm already taller than everyone on that side of the family, my one short male cousin was offended by me wearing heels at my dad's wedding ten years ago)

"this is why you don't have any friends, Alanna"- my dad

[ihatebird]

[ihatebird]

Entering my mime phase. Watch out world!!

[ihatebird]

I applied for my first fashion industry job in almost 5 years. My personal style has absolutely disintegrated due to working in framing for years + pandemic + concussion. I need to channel my 15 year old self and reclaim my sense of style.

[ihatebird]

I'm 18 in my profile picture and I don't know if I should change it. I don't know if I CAN change it. I feel like I'm not allowed to change it since it's been there for 10 years now.

[ihatebird]

I can't post anything on any of my other social media accounts without someone I don't want to talk to remembering I exist. So I decided to just stop existing on social media. These past six months i've been more socially isolated than I was the entire lockdown period of covid. It's fine. Everything is fine. Not existing on social media just clears out some of the extra noise.

[ihatebird]

As of four days ago, I am two years sober from alcohol. I have spent the last month thinking of making an Instagram post about it. A post of what? A post of me doing well? A post about how much better my life is now that I stopped drinking? I rarely post anything on Instagram anyway. What purpose will it serve? I don't need the validation. I already know how proud of myself I am for being two years sober. Maybe someone else needs to see it, but I don't have the energy to talk about it. Don't get me wrong, my life is definitely better without alcohol in it. Stopping drinking didn't magically solve all of my problems, they are still there. Alcohol just isn't making them worse.

[ihatebird]

It's that time of year again! I'm becoming functionally nocturnal and only care about doing art!

[ihatebird]

wow 2023 is gonna be my tumblr revival woohoo

[ihatebird]

You can die from pooping too hard.Yeah, that sounds like crap, but here are three sources to prove we’re not full of shit! :-D

(Source, Source 2, Source 3)