ijustwanttopasstime - Tumblr blog

ijustwanttopasstime · 1 year ago

Text

I adore you too much to hate you now

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna x afab! brown reader

This short fic is written mostly in second person PoV. Character has a name but it's not heavily used. I'm about to ferally self-insert into the following work.

The fic is set in a feudal time period so there are themes of prostitution and non-con/dub-con included.

Minors, DNI. Word count: 2.9k.

CW: themes of bloodshed, prostitution, scars, little bit of non-con/dub-con, description of smut, oral sex (f! receiving), voyeurism, auralism, submission, worship, PIV, Sukuna's true form (no smut with true form); Uraume is an Oiran (with they/them pronouns) [no, I won't explain it]

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who fucks a different working woman of the household every night because none of them satisfies him enough for a double take. Concubines visit his palace in rotations. Some never make their way out.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who despises the cooks in his household — why is the rice never soft, curry too salty, fish not salted enough, soba soggy, desserts always dry? He has killed many a cook, replaced them with new ones, only to be disappointed in a different way.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who does not care who is hired in the kitchens, in the lawns, to clean, to wash his clothes, to keep it all running, but turns the house upside down if anything in his chambers is out of place.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who switches between his real form and human form depending on who he's with. Only Uraume has ever seen his true form, the Oiran who trains and dresses the girls before sending them to Sukuna's bed.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who takes one bite of a non-Japanese cuisine and his eyes blow wide in wonderment. He demands to see the cook immediately.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who looks at you once, drinks in all your amber glory with his lustful gaze, before asking, "What's for dessert?" You still haven't learned to speak or understand Nihongo so you must rely on Uraume-hime to talk on your behalf. All you know is to keep your sight fixed on the Lord's feet. Puny, filthy humans must never lock eyes with Sukuna-sama. Nobody told you so but you came to that conclusion yourself by the way the Oiran kept pushing your head down while in the Lord's chambers.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who groans, shifts in his seat when Uraume-hime tells him something in Nihongo. Before you know it, your hands are being pulled by two other women. You are laid on your back, the hem of your robe pushed up to your hips. You pull your thighs tight together, whispering words of resistance in your tongue, words unintelligible to the Lord.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who is intrigued by your foreignness. In his thick, all-knowing voice, he asks you something from between your legs. In his language, but you've been asked this before several times so you know the answer. "Anata no namaê wa?" He asks. You still can't see his face.

And you answer, Aparajita. The name of a beautiful blue flower laid at your God's feet as an offering. Literal meaning, unconquered. Your mother had given you the name, in hopes that you won't end up on the same path as herself. That you will escape the brothels of Bengal and find your own place in the world. Her dreams had come quite true, you had escaped. Only to then find yourself at the mercy of a creature you didn't quite understand.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who plays with your name on his tongue while his fingers play on your clit. Your hips have to be held down by Uraume-hime because of how much he's making you shiver with the most minimal touches. You've grown up in a bordello, even spent a night in a Japanese bathhouse before finding this job in Sukuna-sama's kitchen, but never have you heard of the woman being on the receiving end of pleasure.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who holds lengthy discussions with Uraume-hime while three of his fingers are knuckle-deep inside you. You have a palm over your mouth to keep you from gasping out but it's promptly removed by one of the women. When you look at her, she has nothing to say, only knotted eyebrows and a gaze filled with guilt. You know this will probably happen again, maybe you will be the one holding someone down, and you'll have the same guilt on your face.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who delights in the sound of you, pauses all conversations and trains his ears to your honeydew voice. When he places his mouth on your flesh, the pleasure tears you apart. Needy moans leak from your lips while he laps at you, taking his fill of dessert.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who wants you in his chambers every night now. And he wants you to understand what he's saying without Uraume translating and gesturing. It wastes a lot of time. Time he'd rather spend burying his cock down your pretty, mauve pussy. So he gets you a tutor. You are to spend your days learning Nihongo — initially spoken language only — and cooking for Sukuna-sama, and nights in his bed, face down, ass up, crying as loud as you can because that's what gets him off. Your voice.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who doesn't realize how long it has been since he's seen a different woman. You satiate him, more than enough.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who doesn't realize that he's slowly starting to wonder if he's enough for you. He watches you all day from the landing of his first floor quarters as you do your duties in the yard. Your dedication to learning a new language just for his sake is mesmerizing. How your delicate fingers wrap around the stem of the brush as you learn to draw the alphabet. The way your lips move as you repeat the tutor's words. When you sit down to cook for him, your leadership invigorates him. You assign jobs to others, teach the new hires how to mix spices, dice vegetables, stoke the coal until it's burning bright. He curses under his breath when the fire iron lands on the side of your feet, scalding your skin, making you hiss out in pain.

You laugh it off when someone brings you a mug of water, the sound of your joy enchanting to Sukuna-sama. He decides the fate of that coal poker. You're busy wrapping a piece of cloth around your wound when, out of nowhere, the iron rod catches on crimson hot fire. It scares your colleagues but you know exactly whose work that is.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who heals your wound when you're lying in his bed, freshly fucked, your back facing him since you're still not allowed to look at him. You've tried to leave wordlessly several nights but his strong arms have held you back, whispering a stern yet somehow soft "Tomaru." So you leave in the mornings and he watches with sleepy eyes as you drape your saree around yourself, clean and fix his bedchamber before leaving. He is a tiger when he fucks — he'd lay you down on any flat surface, take as long as he wants. The only criteria is he should be able to hear you. It's only collateral that the room would be in absolute disarray, left for you to fix lest Sukuna-sama's wrath befalls the entire household.

You sit up, alarmed, when you feel his hand on your feet. In your culture, only a child touches a woman's feet. Definitely not the Lord of the house, and definitely not the man whose bed you sleep in every night. He may not be human anymore, but he is your King, he is who you submit to. In a way, Sukuna-sama is your God and you are the flower at his feet.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who doesn't know that all his efforts and adjustments are being duly noted and silently appreciated. You wanted to wear sarees and ghagras instead of the furisode so Uraume-hime allowed it, even going to the extent of bringing in a tailor for you; you knew it was not their decision to make. When he noticed the dryness of your hands, of your back, he ordered for butter and cream to be made in abundance so the women of the household can use them for cosmetic purposes. The only woman he cared to have softer skin was you. When a beggar invaded your kitchen, he brought his trident to the doorway only to find them with a plate full of food, relinquishing their appetite. He may be a King, but you are his Goddess of peace, surfeit, pleasure, warmth — everything, everything nice.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who wants to know the color of your eyes — see for himself, not hear from Uraume how black your pupils are, it's like you absorb all the light of the world and reflect nothing back. It's not subtle that the Oiran despises you but Sukuna-sama knows they won't let a finger on you without his permission.

It's not like you've never looked at him. When he paces the yard in his crimson and black robe, sometimes in his white and blue robe, you're taken aback by his form, his posture, his powerful gait. The thick black lines on his face and wrists have always made you curious. The extra pair of eyes add a layer of smugness to his persona. One night, when he is tossing and turning in his sleep, you find yourself driven by urges you can't describe, to look at him. You give in. His broad back is marred by scars — slashes, burns, puncture wounds galore. And that forms more questions in your mind. If he can heal you, why doesn't he heal himself?

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who has always fucked you from behind, been satisfied with your voice guiding him to your peaks and lows. But tonight, he wants to see your face contort with pleasure when he settles his thick cock inside you. All his conviction flies out the window when he looks at you, helpless, shaking, not knowing where to look because nobody prepared you for this. He loses control, hungrily kissing your lips — something he has never done before — leaving marks on your jaw and neck. When he grabs your tits, and sinks his teeth on your fat, you cry out. You didn't know having the Lord feed on you would drive you so crazy, it would coax something unthinkable out of your mouth. Moans and gasps go eat grass, Sukuna-sama didn't know being called his name by his lovely, honey-skinned lover could send him deeper into his void of lust. And not just any name. Not even Sukuna-sama. You whisper, Ryo-sama. Ryo-sama. Like you've been thinking about this ever since he first touched you. Like you've been saying this name behind your sealed lips all these nights. He hasn't been called Ryo for years, never by anybody other than his human mother.

You've done it now. This is as far as you go, as far as your mother's ambitious naming could push you. When he pulls out of you and makes you sit up, all you know to do is bow to him, forehead touching the floor between the two of you. "Sumimasen. Sumimasen. Sumimasen, Sukuna-sama." You keep whispering in your awkward yet earnest accent.

He shifts on his knees, awkward for the first time ever in his immortality. "Look at me."

You keep your eyes trained to the ground, shaking your head.

"Look at me, Paro." His voice is surprisingly mild, like he's only amused. Paro is his name for you, chosen at first for convenience during moments of passion, but soon it became a name of ownership, nobody else could call you Paro, and now... it's something else.

"Is this a test, my Lord?" You're scared. You've been scared of him before. This is not something new.

"Look at me."

"You can make me look at you whenever you want, my Lord."

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who has never apologized to anyone, never pleaded. He never needed to, he is the King. He is so powerful, his blood boiling with cursed magic, he can take several lives with a flick of his wrist, instill fear in the common man just by revealing his true form. Here he is, sitting in front of a woman who cooks for him, keeps his household tidy, his cock warm. You have him wrapped around your pinky; you could poison his food, castrate him when he's hard, stab him once he's asleep with you in his arms. But you don't. You've either lost hope in life or your heart to him. He hopes it's the latter.

"P-please." He says under his breath. "Please look at me, Paro."

Your eyes shoot up in disbelief. The Lord pleading with you? Begging you? If Uraume-hime hears of it, they'd make sure you don't live to see another day. But, you don't care. Right now, you're swimming in the blood sea of your Ryo-sama's eyes. What a crime it is to have kept this vision from you! You don't want to look at anything else ever again. But your heart is feeble. You're afraid if you stare, you will end up offending him. So you try to look away but he catches your face in his grasp, squeezing your chin, tilting it up. He breathes on your face, on your mouth. "Is there anything in your heart for me?"

You nod. Not because you're scared of the consequences of telling him otherwise, not because you have nowhere else to go, but because it's true.

"You adore me?"

You nod again.

"Look at me, Paro. I don't want to have to tell you that again." You meet his eyes. "This is not my true form. I conceal it so as to not scare you."

"You scare me enough already, my Lord."

Sukuna laughs. After months of being in each other's company, you finally feel the tension easing. "I don't have a heart, Paro, but there's a warmth in me, somewhere, for you too. Maybe it is love."

"Maybe only lust."

"I've lived long enough to know the difference."

You avert your gaze and bow to him again. "Sumimasen, Sukuna-sama. I shouldn't have questioned you." You touch his feet like your mother had taught you to do with elders and idols of Gods and Goddesses. He is both to you. You're not sure where he learnt it from but every time you have done this before, he has placed a hand on your head, as if to bless you. This time, he takes your wrist to his mouth to kiss it.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who wants to trust you with his true form. He wants to tell you how he came to be cursed with that body, what he had done to deserve immortality, an eternity of wealth, monstrous glory and fame but also peerless, loveless, cold torture. He wants you by his side, not for a brief era of his limbo, but forever. Yet, he's sure you wouldn't want that kind of power. Your strength is in your altruism. To ask you to be by his side for centuries, maybe even millenia, will be to burden you, to keep you from ten where angels like you belong.

"Do you want me to see your true form, my Lord?" You read his mind.

"Would you like to see the real me? Aren't you afraid? I'm sure you've heard Uraume talk about it."

You toy with the answer in your head for some time. You are afraid. But you know he is probably more scared. So you ask, "Are you afraid I'll be repulsed, my Lord?"

He doesn't answer. You know him more than he wants to admit.

"I adore you too much to hate you now, my Lord." You confess. In a bold stunt, you raise yourself on your knees and put your hands around his neck. You can feel your shoulders tense in fear. But when his arms engulf you, you relax a little. You place your lips near his, desperate for his touch and he gives it to you. He kisses you fervently, smooches after smooches, tongues over each other, his strong hands kneading your skin because he needs your skin.

You gasp when it happens. It's not slow. It starts with the loving pads of his fingers being replaced by sharp nails. He holds your head tightly to his as he changes, denying you a glance until he's fully transformed. Your legs detach from the floor when he picks you up, hooking your feet behind his waist. You feel yourself rising against gravity, your thighs being pulled apart to capacity around his abdomen. All is still well, until you feel two more hands on you, something rough on your face, and something wet and slimy against your belly.

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna who has never been ashamed, intimidated, now looking at you, wondering what you think of the villain who stands in front of you, asking you to love him regardless of how vile he is. You... you still want him, that's all there is to it. You look at his four muscular arms, the ghastly mask covering half of his face, the tongue sticking out of his abdomen, and most surprisingly, his two penises, and you still want him. All you're thinking of is how you can pleasure this him. He kneels in front of you, an act of submission, and he's still as tall as you are standing. You finally understand why only his bedroom has such a high roof.

You take his face in your hands, both the softer, a little human side and the rough, grotesque side, and you declare, "Ryo-sama, I will start a religion in your name, carve an idol akin to your true form, and tell people of your ire and also your sincerity. If you let me."

please don't copy my work, or publish it elsewhere without my consent. all banners are from pinterest.

243 notes · View notes

ijustwanttopasstime · 1 year ago

Text

BIG UPDATE!!!

So, I wanted to check in on yall while I'm on here, so how are you? You guys alright? I hope you're resting well, all is going well too.

Anyways. I wanted to just say I got a laptop just today, so my writing might be a little bit better and not as sloppy. (I dont really think that makes much a difference for some people, but it's so much easier to write on a laptop for me!!)

Anyways, that's all. Stay safe!!! ^^

17 notes · View notes

ijustwanttopasstime · 1 year ago

Text

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Reader/ .o8

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, some light teasing, more tutoring sessions, and Sukuna punches a pervert!

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 1.125k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: I've felt mentally drained so I'm going to finish this dang chapter holy frick did this take so long :D

. . .

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy! ❤️

. . .

Sleep didn't come easy to you, and it was expected. Seeing Sukuna in his vulnerable state, having him confirm a small doubt in your mind, and having Shoko spur on your aching heart.

It was a hard pill to swallow, but you needed to force it. You can't force someone to love you back.

Sukuna had his reasons, and it didn’t concern you in the slightest. You told yourself that as much as possible when you felt the need to say something to him after lessons and classes, or do simple things like ask about his day. When you wanted to ask, you bit your tongue and stayed silent. Sticking to the normal day to day chit chat between classmates.

Don’t bug him more than you already do. You say to yourself as you lift your fist up and knock on the door a few times.

There was a quiet "enter" from his side of the door, and when you did as told you didn't see Sukuna in the living room or kitchen like normal.

"Sukuna?" You asked, confusion filling your brain. You continued to wander around the dorm until Sukuna's bedroom door opened up, revealing a disheveled man.

His hair a mess, t-shirt lopsided and somewhat dirty, and boxers on full display. You quickly averted your eyes, trying to save Sukuna his dignity. "Hello to you too."

He waved before heading into his bedroom to change and look cleaner. Moving yourself to your usual space on the couch, you pulled out your things and started flipping through a notebook.

There was almost no noise, besides the random grunts of Sukuna shuffling through his things. Even your thoughts going quiet and jumbled with the notes in your book. Writing things down and not noting the shadow being cast over you by Sukuna.

"Hey, what're you working so hard on?" His voice broke your train of thought, making you look up at him.

"Uhm, tutoring?" You responded, a questioning tone in your voice. "Why?"

Sukuna sighed, resting his cheek against his fist, maroon eyes scanning your figure. "Don't you wanna have fun instead?"

The question catches you off guard and you chuckle, patting his knee in an almost loving manner. "I don't think you should have fun until you get better grades."

"God, you sound like my mother!"

You crinkle your nose as Sukuna's rather modest laughter fills the air. It had been a while since you saw a smile.

With a sigh, you straightened your posture and started to the session, seeing Sukuna's eyes begin to glaze over in a bored pout. You didn't like doing much studying either, but keeping your grades up mattered to you.

Sukuna knew this, watching you diligently work with him to help. So determined..

——

"..How are your parents?" He asked, his eyes lazily looking towards you.

It had been an hour since the tutoring had started that day, and Sukuna's mind was elsewhere. It was dull, the schedule he has wrapped himself into. It was the same thing everyday, seeing the hundreds of students around campus and ending up stuck in his dorm with you.

Talking about equations and random stuff he was already familiar with became tedious. Even though he was willing just to see you.

Never say that out loud though.

"Oh, they're fine," You answered, a slightly confused look on your face as you tapped the cap of your red pen on the notebook.

Sukuna raised a brow, scooting himself closer into your space, a small smile on his face. "That's not specific enough. I wanna know how they're doing."

I just told you– "Well, my dad's working on some project for the house apparently. He wanted to make a garden for it."

"Your dad's still the plant guy, huh?"

You pout your lips as Sukuna's curled into a smirk. "Not always. He got into sports cars for some reason, even though he's a planet health guy."

Sukuna chuckles at this before starting to write a few things down in his notebook. You grumble with a slightly warm flush filling your cheeks. Either way, you couldn't really complain much, his smirk made you feel warm inside.

"Are you done with the questions I gave you?" You asked, leaning your head over and bumping your cheek against Sukuna's shoulder.

"Yeah, the last one stumps me though.."

After teasing him for a few moments about his blunders and getting side eyed for the next twenty minutes, you eventually were able to explain the problem before Sukuna pointing out how late it had gotten.

"I could order a pizza and you just sleep over again." He said as he put away his things, placing a hand on his hip. "It'd be best, this dorm is filled with shit drunk guys."

"Aw, you're so sweet," You responded, lifting your bag over your shoulder strap while hiding all the giddy cuteness inside you. "But it's just a five minute walk to my place. I'll be fine!"

There was a hostile look of discontent in his maroon eyes that read: How dare you say no to me?

A confused shiver was sent down your spine before you sighed and pat Sukuna's arm, heading towards the door. "I'll text you when I get home, promise."

Letting out a small grunt, Sukuna eventually caved and you went home. Although he did threaten that he'll give you a stern talking to if he didn't get a text.

He's got more layers than an onion.*

Though, as you made your way home, you bumped into someone. His hair was messy, sunglasses barely hanging onto his head with his hair pushed back, and pants dirtier than your crustiest sock. But his pink cheeks and glossy eyes didn't betray you in recognizing one of your weirdest friends to date.

"Satoru? What are you doing out?" You place a hand on the males exposed forehead and humming to yourself. "..Are you high, drunk, or sick?"

With a delayed reaction, a hiccup, and a pout, you got this. "My girl, you're judgy so muchy~ Let me life without demands!"

You raise a brow and scoff. I know he'll regret this drinking in the future.

"Fine, but I have to go home now," You say, patting the disheveled mans shoulder, a smile on your face. "Don't trip walking up those stairs!"

But as you said goodbye, Gojo leaned in and placed a soft peck on your cheek with surprising accuracy. You blink in confusion as Gojo smiles loosely and pets your head. "Don't hurt yourself either, Miss best friend chaser!"

Before words could process, or a thought was able to work the cogs in your headspace, there was a grunt and a very big "someone's jaw might have gotten broken" sound.

. . .

a/n: hope you guys have been doing well! srry i haven't posted in almost two months maybe really, so many things came up. I was worried about mental health for a while, wasn't feeling motivated to write much but then smthing else happened. Huge changes are happening so we might end up with another writer's drought lmao (I'm going to college soon and do adult things ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙;;;)

*and if u didnt get the reference I'll scream*

Chapter Song Theme:

— Ariana Grande - God is a woman (Lyric Video)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleeboomed, @fallenfeversstuff, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @ririkaxbz, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @instantgalaxysheep, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us, @gumis-girl, @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-n-l0ve, @jiordeci

last chapter || next chapter

311 notes · View notes

ijustwanttopasstime · 1 year ago

Text

Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Female Reader/ .o7

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, sukuna gets a hangover + sick!, being ignored(-ish???), talking about that kiss, pizza and wings with your roomie [brief]

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

words: 3.826k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n:: I started writing this chapter while I was finishing up chapter .o6 lolol!! also, tell me if u're not getting tagged in the chapters so that i can fix it! thx for the support and i hope you guys enjoy reading this fanfiction to the end! ❤

Thank you for reading this bit! Enjoy~

. . .

After you had woken up from last night in Sukuna’s arms, you got up to take a small shower. Even though you didn’t want to think about it, it made its way into your mind. What Sukuna had said, the way he touched your body and kissed your neck. Why he mumbled little things like “you’re mine” made your heart ache.

How could you give up on Sukuna when he says things like that?

Reaching down to grab some shampoo, you slick your hair back and start to lather the soapy substance into your hair. You lift your head back and scrub all the worries and thoughts from your mind.

But wishing the thoughts away, or the touches you shared, wasn’t going to change anything. Yes, you managed to defuse the situation, but it wasn’t with a little work.

Sukuna’s mumbling replayed in your mind as you finished washing last night’s events off. Quickly grabbing one of his shirts to borrow and wearing your pants from the night before, you went to his kitchen and looked for something that’d be good for a hangover and breakfast.

You had managed to find some eggs and bacon, adding in some coffee as a drink for Sukuna. Eventually, the sounds of Sukuna showering surfaced as you were plating the meal and adding some butter to a slab of toast you just finished toasting.

"Morning," You heard Sukuna grumble from the hallway.

Seeing that he was clearly hungover and hungry, you guided him to his living room and placed his meal and coffee onto the coffee table in front of him. Also giving him a pat on the back, you went to grab your food to join him. He wasn’t visibly upset by the events of the other night, making you wonder if he really cared at all what happened.

Wasn’t it nerve wracking for him too? Didn’t it make him upset or nervous?

You didn’t get your answer for another few days. Not a text, nor a call. Even during classes, Sukuna was either not attending or he was taking a sick day. It worried you, since he had started skipping his tutoring lessons too. Concerned for his health, and all around well-being, you decided that stopping by with a few gifts would make him feel better.

After classes and work, you took another moment to send Sukuna a text that you’d be stopping by for a few minutes with some Advil for his headache. Although you felt it was cringey, you grabbed him some stomach medicine as well, making your way over to the male’s dorm a little after 10:30 pm.

You knocked on the door of Sukuna’s dorm and patiently waited for some kind of sign that he was home, and awake. Though, you doubted after a while of waiting. Making you wonder if he was intentionally ignoring you after the kiss. You didn’t blame him, if you kissed him and told him he was yours, you’d want to stop talking to him out of embarrassment.

“Sukuna?” You tried after a minute or two of waiting, knocking again before there was a click and the door began to slowly creak open.

Seeing a tired, and disgruntled Sukuna behind it, with messy hair and hoods under his eyes, you let out a small coo of pity. He looked worn out and stressed, making you feel guilty for making him look like this. Sukuna, though, took a breath and mumbled a small greeting before letting you into his home.

“I’m sorry about not going to class,” He finally said, as if to defuse the awkwardness between you. “I haven’t been feeling well, I might’ve caught some bug.”

“Oh, really?” You asked, looking around the living room and seeing tissues strewn across the couch and coffee table. “I thought it was something else. Sorry for bothering you, I just came to tell you about the assignments you were missing.”

Sukuna hummed, sitting back down on his small throne of warm blankets and dirty tissues. “Ah, alright. I noticed you texted me too. Did you really bring Advil? It’d help right about now..”

You nod and sit next to Sukuna on the couch, handing him the bag you brought with you. Inside sat a small container of Advil, a bottle of water, some quick and easy to make chicken noodle soup. He looked at the bag’s contents before handing you the soup and taking out the water and medicine.

“Can you make this for me?” He asked, opening the Advil and water, taking a pill and a sip before laying back on the pillow he had under his head. “You can make yourself something too, but I haven’t been shopping yet.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” You said, standing and heading to the kitchen. “I’ll go out while you’re asleep to get you some things!”

You heard a grunt of disapproval that made you giggle, grabbing a pot from the cupboard and turning on the heat. Turning your attention to Sukuna, you see him lying face up with a pained expression. He looked more tired and ill than you’ve ever seen him before; even as a child it was hard for Sukuna to even get something small.

Half the time, you thought he was invincible while you got the cold a lot during the snowy season.

“The soup should be done in a few minutes,” You announced, walking around the living room and gathering the dirty tissues that littered the room. Grimacing, Sukuna nodded as you got closer. “Let me get your temperature too, just to be safe.”

“Fine,” He grumbled, taking a few steady breaths as you sat down and pressed a cold hand to his forehead. “Mm, your hand feels really nice.”

“‘Cause you’re burning up!” You exclaimed, quickly standing to grab the chicken noodle soup and return with a bowl prepared for Sukuna to eat. “Here, eat some of this okay? I’ll go get you some food for your fridge.”

Sukuna shook his head, sitting up to start eating. “No, that’s fine. I already feel pathetic for your help enough.”

Pathetic? Sukuna? Nah, that couldn’t be true.

“Don’t get all stubborn and pissy with me,” You said, a firm frown placed on your face as Sukuna ate. “Just because you’re sick doesn’t make you pathetic.”

There was a distant look that crossed Sukuna’s face before he went quiet and put down the bowl of soup. “It’s not that I’m sick.”

After waiting for a few minutes for an explanation, you dropped the conversation even though you knew exactly what he was talking about. That kiss. He probably regretted it, or thought what he said was stupid and childish. You pat Sukuna’s shoulder as he looks up at you, a confused expression now on his face.

“Now’s not the best time to talk about that,” You muttered, smiling warmly at the grumpy man. “You need to focus on getting better, and then tutoring for the next few days. Alright?”

Sukuna slowly nods, taking in your words. You didn’t need an explanation right now. Waiting a little while wouldn’t kill you.

“..Okay,” Sukuna muttered, finishing his food and laying back down. Watching you stand and gather your things before leaving the small apartment like home.

You left the male’s dorm to go grab some more medicine when you got a text message. Quickly, you climbed into your car and picked up your phone. It was from Yuji. Thinking back, it had been almost a month since you had last spoken to him on the phone. That is, if you included all the studying you were doing for tests and such.

Yuji- Hey, Y/n! I was wanting to ask you something about Sukuna?

You tilted your head in confusion, wondering if Sukuna had told him about what happened. Maybe he did? No, he’d probably keep something like that secret. Then again, you barely know him now. You’d never know.

You- Yeah? What’s up?

You also added another small excuse for your absence and you almost immediately got a response. The conversation started with Yuji asking about Sukuna’s grades, which you thought were pretty tame and understandable, so you told him point blank what was happening.

You- Sukuna’s kinda struggling in some classes, so my professor asked for me to tutor him. He’s getting better though. Did he tell you he got sick at all?

Yuji- Ah man! That explains it I suppose… I was wondering where he went after telling me what happened between y’all. ><;;

And just like that, you knew your suspicions were confirmed. With a sigh, you asked what he meant for confirmation:

Yuji- He told me about that party. He said something to a guy named Fushiguro about you and him. It was a really random convo, but I thought you knew already?

You were kind of confused for a moment, although you did see them talking you assumed it was about something else. Never did you think it was about you and Sukuna. Starting up the car, you dialed Yuji’s number and waited for him to answer. After a few moments, Yuji’s cheerful voice rang from your phone and you put the device to your cheek. Pulling out of the parking lot, you ask Yuji what Sukuna had talked about.

“It’s the first time we’ve talked on a phone!” Yuji chuckled. “A little weird, but I think I’ll get used to it, haha!”

You laughed with Yuji, starting to drive to the drug store. “I know, it’s a little weird for me too.”

There was a small silence before Yuji brought up the conversation Sukuna had with him.

“He told me that Fushiguro gave him some advice about y’alls relationship. Something like, ‘Just tell her what you’re feeling’, I think. Knowing my brother though, he’d keep all those feelings inside, and nudging him would just piss him off.”

You nodded, as if Yuji would see it, pulling into the parking lot of a local grocery store. The lights were dim, but it was quite apparent to you that it was still open. You unbuckled yourself and stepped out of the car, quickly putting your keys away and making note of what to buy.

“Sorry if this is really sudden, but..” You mumbled, walking through the rows of parked cars and vacant spots, lowering your voice slightly. “How were you and Sukuna after I left?”

You were rewarded with a small silence, a sigh and then a response: “It’s complicated.”

“I can handle complicated things, Yuji.”

He grumbled, but you understood why. The situation that they were in while you all lived there was rather harsh. Sukuna and Yuji’s dad was in a constant drunken state, making your parents worry a little about your safety and their’s. Often offering help to the boys whenever they needed a break from their father’s yelling and abuse. Although they couldn’t take Sukuna and Yuji in, they ended up like their second parents.

Sukuna and Yuji loved your parents as much as they adored you, and it filled you with guilt now that you were unable to mend things for the past. Even though you couldn’t, you were determined to make it up to Sukuna, to Yuji.

Half of you felt like you were trying to mend your own broken ego, but the other half was telling you that you owed it to them. Unable to swallow down that guilt, you began to accept it as Yuji started to talk to you about the events that transpired after your move.

“While I didn’t have many problems other than our old man, Sukuna kinda..” Yuji trailed, exhaling probably a lot of emotions he didn’t want to feel. “He went out of control, really.

“He got into lots of fights at school, got suspended a lot. Sometimes, he’d yell at me when he wasn’t in a good mood. Started smoking with the older kids. It was a lot for him.”

There was another pause as you got into the shopping area, pushing a cart in front of you and looking at the items that lined the shelves. Looking from ramen to other assorted things you felt were alright, you began to pile some basic things into the cart.

“Sukuna almost dropped out,” Yuji cut into your train of thought, making you stop suddenly in shock. Phone shaking in your hand and making some passerby glance at you with a confused and concerned look on their faces. “He didn’t, don’t worry. He made it to college, didn’t he?”

You pressed your brows and lips together and a frustrated pout. He’s barely passing though. He was gone for a lot of the year and is taking even more sick days right now.

You didn’t tell Yuji this, seeing as it’d worry him. “Y/n?”

“Sorry, I’m shopping right now,” You say sheepishly, laughing weakly as you make your way over to another aisle and looking through a bunch of small pre-made meals that Sukuna might enjoy. “Go ahead, continue.”

“Alright.” Yuji responded, although he whined about bothering you which made you smile. “So, now, I suppose you can say that he’s doing well. He’s still smoking and shit, but that’s expected since it’s a habit. He’s working on it though.”

You let out a small hum, looking through the protein section, gathering what you thought would be good for some breakfast meat. Once Yuji voiced his concern about your silence, you reassured that you were alright.

“I promise, Yu.” You said, stopping once again as you continued to chat on the phone. “Sorry for bringing that stuff up again for you, I know it can be a little hard to talk about it–”

“It’s okay,” Yuji says in an attempt to calm you, with a boyish giggle ringing out from your speaker. “To be completely honest, it helped me relax a little while talking about it. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

A burn in your heart rested heavy in your chest. The feeling of guilt and worry made you ache, knowing that Sukuna had every right to want nothing to do with you. But the gratitude you felt for it was unimaginable. It was like it lifted your spirits, knowing Sukuna was still there to help if something went wrong. Yuji and you continued to talk on the phone for another few minutes– more like an hour or so –until you were in line to purchase your items.

Once you got to the cashier, you smiled. “I’ll see ya soon, Yuji.”

“Mhm, c’ya!”

“Having a good day, hun?” said the woman at the register. Her messy dark hair up in a very loose bun. Her dark eyes shimmering with a sleepy delight.

“Yea, it’s alright so far,” You answered as she started scanning your items. Looking through your pocket, you pulled out your wallet and began looking for your card. “I’ll be paying with a card.”

She nods at this, bagging things up as she rang your receipt and total. In the midst of this, you looked down at the shirt that you had borrowed from Sukuna. Realizing quickly that you still needed to return it even if you didn’t really want to. It smelled just like him, an almost calming smell that made your heart flutter.

“22.35 is your payment.”

Running the card through the small scanner, you started grabbing bags and piled them back into the cart. Tugging at the ends of the large shirt and pushing the shopping cart outside to where you parked. It had been almost twenty minutes since you got to the store when your phone buzzed with a notification in your back pocket.

You got back into the vehicle and paused to look at the message, seeing Sukuna’s name on your lock screen. “He texted me?”

He’s so sick, I hope he doesn’t end up pushing himself..

The text consisted of a small thank you and to text him when you were finished. While you didn’t think it was much, you decided to text him back.

You– I just got finished. I’ll be coming by shortly. I need to return your shirt to you too lol

Starting up the engine once again you pulled out of the parking spot, making your way over to the main road and turning on your blinker. Your phone buzzed again, but you decided to wait until you got to your college before looking at it. Thoughts raced through your head as you drove back home.

What should you tell Sukuna when you see him? Apologizing wouldn’t do much since it’s already too late, it’d be worth the shot though. You sigh, slowing down as you near your destination.

Sitting in the car quietly and taking a moment to breath and work through all the events that’s happened. You pick up your phone and see Sukuna’s name again, unlocking the device and going to messages to see his text.

Sukuna– Keep it. I’ve been meaning to get rid of it anyways.

There was a small tingle in your body, a shiver that ran up your spine. Unable to make out what this shiver was, you looked down at the dark clothing piece. Seeing an old band name with a few small holes in the bottom of the shirt around the hem, ending just at your mid thigh. It was worn out, a random shirt you grabbed, but it felt like it was more than that to you.

You responded with a small okay, quickly getting out of the car and collecting the groceries. It took a few tries, but you managed to get all the things you purchased up to the male’s dorm.

“Sukuna, I’m back,” Knocking on the door, you waited for a few moments with shaky arms. The weight of all the food was making you tired at this point, and when Sukuna opened the door you rushed inside to put the bags on the counter.

“Haahh!! Finally!”

A shocked expression was written on the sick man’s face mixed with an amused smirk. He closed the door and made his way over to you, looking through all the bags and then at you, taking in your panting figure and chuckling weakly.

“I told you before, you didn’t need to do this.”

“Shush, just accept it,” You sighed, with a small smile on your face in return.

Sukuna rolled his eyes and put down the blanket that covered him on the couch before he started helping you put up things. You bickered and whined about him helping you, but he told you it didn’t matter and that it’d be done faster if he helped. Reluctantly, you agreed and continued putting things in the fridge.

After everything was put away, you turned back and bumped into Sukuna. His maroon eyes angled downward, connecting with yours. Silence clouded over you and him, the air becoming thick again as you both stood in the middle of his kitchen.

“Y’know that it was nothing, right?” He eventually mumbled, his breathing low and voice deep. Sukuna’s words made your stomach churn, an uncomfortable feeling that you didn’t really like boiling in the pit of your gut.

You averted your eyes, pressing your lips together and breaking eye contact. Despite your silence, he continued, crossing his arms as well. “I was drunk, and acted without thinking.”

“..Thought so,” You mumbled quietly, clasping your hands behind your back. “I’ll see you later.”

It had been days since it had happened, and bringing it up so suddenly made you uncomfortable. Your heart ached, your stomach hurt. Everything was in pain. It tore you to bits, but you understood where he was coming from.

He doesn’t want me to get my hopes up.

So, after you had gotten your things and said a quick goodbye, you headed over to your dorm. A heavy heart laid bare in your chest, an ache that you felt wouldn’t be able to heal by tomorrow. With each step farther and farther away from him made the strings inside pluck a sad tune. You had denied you wanted any sort of thing for Sukuna, and for it to be returned, but even so you felt the pain was too much. Too much for your fragile heart, weak mind.

Unlocking the door to your home, you pushed open the door to the smell of pizza and chicken.

“Shoko?” You try, taking a few steps inside and looking around before spotting her in the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Just getting some things made for you.” She answered, pushing a place of your favorite pizza and some hot wings with ranch towards you on the counter. “You were missing for a few days, hun. Got me wondering what happened to you.”

With a distasteful sigh, you grab the plate and make your way into the living room and she follows. Sitting on the couch with you and waiting silently to hear any form of a response. You didn’t want to talk, but letting the heartache sit and fester like a disease wouldn’t do you any good.

“I visited Sukuna,” You finally mumble, taking a bite of pizza and letting the flavors sit in your mouth for a moment before swallowing. “He’s sick, so I brought him a few things and some food.”

“...And?” She pressed, scooting closer while her show continued to play on the T.V.

“And nothing. I just said goodbye and will see him later.”

The response obviously didn’t make her happy, her brows pressing together slightly before she huffed and rested her cheek on your fist. Letting her elbow hang from the top of the couch, relaxing her body into the cushions. “That’s odd. Aren’t y’all a thing?”

You cringed. Getou probably said something like that. No, Gojo.

“No. Just friends.”

Shoko shrugged, stealing one of your wings and looking at the T.V. “You two looked like you were dating.”

Whatever that meant, you didn’t let it get to you. No matter how much it made you blush or it made the feelings in your tummy churn. “You and Getou have lost brain cells.”

After you had eaten and said goodnight to Shoko, you made your way into the bathroom and got into the shower. Washing your hair and face, making sure to try and relax despite the fact Shoko’s words didn’t leave you.

“You two looked like you were dating.”

She’s just seeing things then! You said to yourself, pouting your lip a little. Her and Getou acted like a couple too, but it’s not like they were actually dating. They were just fuck buddies that got high together whenever he visited.

Sukuna and I are too different to be dating.

Sukuna doesn’t forgive me either.

Once dried off and dressed, you went into your bedroom to sleep. But sleep wouldn’t come easily when you felt a sting in your chest and a never ending flow of nightmares that kept you on your toes.

a/n: i've been worried that my tagging isn't really working >_>;;; but i'll try retagging as many as possible so that you guys get the reading you wanted! ik chapter .o6 was a lot, seeing as we've got a long way to go before the ending, but i wanted some action so that it doesn't get too boring and plain. anyways, thx for the support and hope to see you guys soon! ❤

Chapter Song Theme: — Stela Cole - Love Like Mine (Lyrics) - YouTube

last chapter || next chapter

259 notes · View notes