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“I’m not rude… I just wasn’t taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can’t stand.”

— Tokugawa Ieyasu, probably

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Shingen : Let’s go to somewhere to hang out.

Kenshin : Nah, I’m going to sleep now.

Shingen : I was just about to treat you some cups of sake.

Kenshin : I’m wide awake now. Let’s go.

Shingen : Nah, I’m going to sleep now.

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Hideyoshi: You lied?

Mitsuhide: I may have.

Hideyoshi: You may have or you did?

Mitsuhide:

Mitsuhide: I may have did.

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Mitsunari: *eating a cinnamon roll*

MC: Cannibalism!

Mitsunari: *innocent and confused chewing noises*

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Jiang Cheng: You know what? I’m not an early bird or a night owl.

Jiang Cheng: I’m more of a permanently exhausted pigeon.

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Warlord Sleeping Headcanons

Nobunaga

Can’t sleep unless he is being cuddled.

Restless sleeper, almost constantly tossing and turning.

Most likely suffers nightmares.

Most likely would be the type to sleep with stuffed animals, no shame in that.

Wake who up? I’m afraid Nobunaga has been awake since 4am.

Hideyoshi

Totally has at least 5 blades hidden in his futon in case of an attack.

Hogs the blankets.

May not look it, but he’s also a super light sleeper. (Seriously how DOES he function?!)

Is the type to scold in his sleep.

Try waking him and get headbutted from him jolting awake AND receive a lecture that is sure to last well into the morning.

Mitsuhide

Sleeps in the nude.

Would sleep in a quite the relaxed position. Some would think he’s just lounging about rather than sleeping. I’m talking arms behind the head and legs stretched out and ankles crossed.

He smiles and laughs in his sleep… kinda creepy if you ask me.

Takes pleasure in putting his cold extremities against you while you sleep. However if you do it to him, he will trap you in his arms to keep you from doing it again. Best way to ensure cuddles.

Is incredibly hard to wake in the morning, let him wake on his own accord, please.

Masamune

Surprisingly a quiet sleeper.

Would totally hog the bed however.

Sleep-flirts. Not sure why, but he flirts in his sleep.

Also, he might sleep on top of you, especially if Mitsuhide decided to swap out his water that night.

Try waking him and he will try to kiss you. He will claim that only a kiss could ever tear him from his dreams.

Ieyasu

A HUGE cuddler, you have been warned.

He also becomes a burrito if given enough blankets. This boy despises being cold.

Actually looks quite peaceful when he sleeps. Like who knew such a spicy porcupine could look so cute?!

Prefers to sleep on his side or partially on his stomach.

Will slap and/or punch the living daylights out of you if you try to wake him.

Mitsunari

Restless sleeper, hence why his hair and bed clothes are often a mess.

Often enough he falls into such a deep sleep he is often found in near impossible positions. A.K.A Human Pretzel.

Forget sleepwalking, this sweet angel boy does sleep reading! He often gives fright to the Night guard being found in the halls walking and reading as if fully awake.

Sleeps the best when Kitty is with him.

Try waking him and you’ll end up being pulled into his futon. Ieyasu once tried to wake him and found out what happens when you try.

Kenshin

Pretty sure he sleeps with his eyes open. If that is actually sleep and not him lying awake in his futon.

He lies so still that he looks like a corpse. Often scares the crap out of his vassals.

Sometimes he can be found encircled by his rabbits, strangely he actually looks peaceful and actually has his eyes closed… for once.

Sometimes would abruptly sit up, sword in hand and wildly swing his sword around. His eyes won’t even be open.

Try waking him and you will be face to face with the tip of his sword as well as see the most sinister glare known to man. Did it just get colder?

Shingen

Also sleeps in the nude. Has no shame and is proud for it. (I mean c’mon! It’s Shingen! What do you expect?!)

Tends to take over the bed a lot, but tends to sleep on his stomach the most.

If a sleeping companion is present, he would try and make room for them, but no promises once he falls into a deep sleep.

Hardly ever needs blankets, the man is his own source of heat.

Will wake up without issue, just be prepared to see more than you expected of him, unless that is what you want. I mean the man does sleep in the nude.

Yukimura

Sleeps in a ball.

Falls asleep fast, so make sure you have all your business done before his head hits the pillow.

Also talks in his sleep.

Snores like no tomorrow! The first time people heard it they thought a bear had gotten into his tent.

Waking him is like waking a child. He will groan, hide himself under his blankets, even raise his butt in the air as he tries to get a few more moments of sleep.

Sasuke

He channels deep into his life as a college student and completely forgoes sleep.

You know that blank look he gives you sometimes? Yeah that’s what we like to call ‘Screen saver mode’ where he takes quick 15 second naps.

He most likely found a replacement for coffee by now.

Falls asleep standing up so often that people would come across him and ask what he’s doing, only to realize that he’s asleep… with his eyes open.

Can’t wake what doesn’t sleep… or can you?

Kennyo

Falls asleep meditating.

Attracts all sorts of woodland creatures while he sleeps, he is often confused upon waking.

Just say his name and he will wake up. Albeit claim he wasn’t asleep but in fact meditating, but whatever.

Sometimes can be found muttering prayers and sutras in his sleep.

When he does actually choose to sleep, it’s not in a futon, but against a wall with his prayer staff leaning against his shoulder and his shawl folded into a pillow on his other shoulder.

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Hideyoshi: Where’s Nobunaga?

Mitsuhide: Doing stuff.

Hideyoshi: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s MC?

Mitsuhide: Trying to stop Nobunaga from doing the stuff.

Hideyoshi: And Masamune?

Mitsuhide: Trying to stop MC from stopping Nobunaga from doing the stuff.

Hideyoshi: I see. And what are you doing here, Mitsuhide?

Mitsuhide: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Masamune from stopping MC from stopping Nobunaga from doing the stuff.

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Masamune: If Mitsuhide, Hideyoshi and I were drowning, who would you save?

Ieyasu: You morons can’t even swim?

Hideyoshi: Ieyasu, it’s a hypothetical question.

Mitsuhide: Yeah, who would you save?

Ieyasu: My time and effort.

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I knew we were the same

MC: You’re so tall, Shingen. What can you see up there?

Shingen: Everyone’s flaws.

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HEADCANON: Dirty Room

What if MC hates cleaning (like me) her apartment in the modern day and she is living with the warlords.

Nobunaga: Hmmmm, maybe we should look for our new place. I csnnot find the kompeito.

Hideyoshi: C'mon, I will help you clean. * ends up doing all*

Masamune: Let’s clean later, lass. We can do more mess.

Mitsuhide: I will punish you for this mess.*smirks*

Ieyasu: oh god, what in eight hells happened here?!

Mitsunari: i will help you.*creates more mess*

Kenshin: Sasuke, clean this mess.

Sasuke: I hsve created a better cleaning system. Let’s try it.

Yukimura: you really are a boar!

Shingen: are we cleaning, or should I make a mess out of you, princess?

Kennyo: *king of minimalism, no mess*

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Shingen: Sorry about my huge cool muscles everyone.

Shingen: Apologies for my large powerful form.

Shingen: Guys I’m really sorry about my big ol' muscles that can lift things super good.

Shingen: Can’t say it enough how sorry I am.

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Day 02 (Big hug)

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Warlords as Older Brothers

The Oda Force

Nobunaga

Have you been a good girl today? Bo-ring! Live a little every once in a while. Anyway, have some konpeito. 

Why did Hideyoshi got you grounded? Oh, you pulled a prank on him? Great! Have some konpeito. Next time make sure I’m there to see it. 

(While pouting) Come ooon! Help me sneak into the kitchen, pretty please? I’ll give you something in return. Whatever you want. 

Hideyoshi

Have you eaten your meal? And brushed your teeth? And said your prayers? 

I can hardly approve of such behavior! You’re grounded, young lady! (Doesn’t really mean it, in the end)

What!? She can’t have a boyfriend yet! She’s a baby! 

Masamune

I’m going to pull a prank on (brother’s name), wanna join in?

Happy Birthday, MC! I made your favorites. Also, I got you a horse. 

(Challenging her to do something risky) Show me what you got, kitten!

Ieyasu

Those shoes are worn out. I’m buying you new ones. I can’t have you tripping and hurting yourself!  

How the heck did you step on your own foot!? Come here, let me see that bruise. It looks ugly, but at least you didn’t break any bone. This salve should make it better. Why are you smiling, stupid!? Don’t get hurt again!

(Gives MC a coupon for hugs on her birthday) Don’t tell anyone!

Mitsunari

Now, now, MC; Latin isn’t that hard. Let’s try again…

Can I tell you a secret? I like your food better. 

Can I put my glasses on you? Aw, you look cute! 

Mitsuhide

How’s my favorite sister today? (When MC replies she’s his only sister) Precisely! 

Oh, you want a fishtail braid?  Fine, come here. (Braids some flowers into her hair without her noticing).

It’s my responsibility as a big brother to teach you how to defend yourself out there. No sister of mine will be taken advantage of, ever. 

The Takeda-Uesugi Force 

Shingen

My dear sister! When are you going to make me an uncle? I want little nephews and nieces sitting on my knees!

(When MC tells him she has a boyfriend, crying) When did you grow up so fast? 

Now, MC, observe and learn, so no scum can take advantage of you. 

Yukimura

I got some dango… no, you know Shingen can’t eat them. That’s why we gotta eat them in secret.

But… but you look so cute when you’re angry! 

Don’t worry, as long as I’m here, I’ll protect my little sister. 

Kenshin

It was I who choose your name, of course. Shingen and Yukimura had stupid ideas. I couldn’t let them name you “maple leaf”. What kind of name is that? 

(Whenever MC is sad he takes her to his room) This is a rabbit-blanket. No one is allowed to be sad with a rabbit-blanket. 

This bunny reminds me of you… I’ll name her MC junior. Heh, I’m just joking. 

Sasuke

Here’s the plan: you hide and secretly take a video as I teach the warlords how to dance the Macarena. 

(After the warlords recreate a scene from her favorite movie for her birthday) Of course it was my idea. 

I’ve taught you how to make smoke bombs and how to use caltrops and knives. You’re ready to face the world. 

Kennyo

You’re too pure for this world, dear sister.

No, you can’t live on your own in the woods like some hermit!

Whatever you do, don’t marry Shingen.

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Hideyoshi: Masamune, can we speak privately for a minute?

Masamune: Ooooh, someone’s in trouble!

Masamune: No, wait.

Masamune: It’s me.

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MC WITH MITSUNARI -

MC: I’m cold

Mitsunari: Here, take my jacket

MC WITH HIDEYOSHI

MC: I’m cold

Hideyoshi: What? [Takes off jacket] I told you to bring more layers, but of course you don’t listen. [Piling scarfs on MC] Now I have to make sure you don’t freeze to death. [Taking off someone else’s hat] I can’t believe–

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“It is a scientifically proven fact that once a group of people become friends, the tendency to make really foolish decisions skyrockets, and from this chaos, the Mom Friend™ rises, ready to keep everyone alive, armed with exasperation and common sense in spades. And it’s probably me.”

— Toyotomi Hideyoshi, absolutely

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Sasuke: Okay, MC, Kenshin, you two are on jack-o-lantern duty.

MC: I’ll pick out the pumpkin!!!

Kenshin: And I’ll stab it!

MC:…

Sasuke:…

Kenshin: I mean carve it…